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Subject: I just saw Wolverine rss

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John So-And-So
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And boy are my complainy-parts tired!

No seriously. How did I not catch wind of this for the past three months? I'd heard vauge rumors that they messed up Deadpool, one of my favorite Marvel characters. But the most explicit was the chinese gangsta kid in 7-11 who kept repeating "Yo, dey did Deadpool DIRTY, dog! Dey did Deadpool DIRTY!", and I wasn't going to ask him for more info. I was sure that if I needed to know anything, the chat-folk would square me up.

But oh holy lord. Y'all should have warned me. Dey did Deadpool DIRTY, dog.
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John W
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CapAp wrote:
And boy are my complainy-parts tired!

But oh holy lord. Y'all should have warned me. Dey did Deadpool DIRTY, dog.
I tried.
reapersaurus wrote:
Both movies (Terminator 4 and Wolverine) were the most disappointing, aggravatingly-insulting movies I've seen in recent memory.

Partially because of this very reason :
substituting superficial beefcake/looks for ANY semblance of story or character.
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Quote:
I just saw Wolverine...


My sympathies.
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Ben Lott
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I tried too.
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The only Deadpool. Ryan Reynolds why? Why???
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John So-And-So
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You know, even Ryan Reynolds (whom I have HATED since two guys a girl and a pizza place) didn't get me. This is how it went.

Before The Movie
"Ok. They're gonna mess up deadpool movie-style. I can take it. I'm not an overly attached fanboy."
Suck-o-meter: READY FOR ANYTHING

First Appearance
"Ugh. I hate you Ryan Reynolds.
Ok, at least you're a bad ass with the swords.
Ok, at least you seem to have no respect for Wolverine, which is part of why I love you.
Ok, at least your quips are somehwat amusing, which is more than I can say for your video game appearances."
Suck-o-meter: SUPRISINGLY LOW
If he'd have been wearing a mask, I think I would have loved movie Deadpool at this point.

Second Appearance
"Wait, what? Oh lord, that's silly.
Swords in his arms? Retarded.
WHY DID THEY SEW UP HIS MOUTH. THAT IS THE POINT OF THE CHARACTER.
Ok, he teleports from Weapon X program powers instead of a belt. That actually makes more sense.
Cool, he kicks Wolverine's ass PLUS Sabertooth's ass, just like real Deadpool.
Suck-o-meter: RISING TERRIBLY, BUT STILL AT ACCEPTABLE LEVELS
Swords-arms are the worst, but like Spiderman's web-shooters, I am able to grin and take it.

Final Scene
"WHAT THE FUCK. LAZER EYES."
Non-comic-nerd-friend (whispering) "Dude, does Deadpool shoot lazers out of his ey"
Me "NO HE DOES NOT"
Suck-o-meter: OFF THE CHARTS

Seriously, movie executives. WHAT THE FUCK. Someone actually seriously ended a meeting with the words "Oh, and he's got LAZER EYES." ARGHGHGGHGH! You can't just add lazer eyes as a power onto a character to make him Better. Lazer eyes will probably make a character worse, almost ALWAYS is my guess. Lazer eyes did not attract ONE SINGLE EXTRA ASS to your shitty movie. NOT ONE. Fuck you, Marvel Entertainment Group. I was on your side after Iron Man and the Hulk. Fuck you.
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you're gonna love the deadpool solo movie then
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Ken H.
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CapAp wrote:
Seriously, movie executives. WHAT THE FUCK. Someone actually seriously ended a meeting with the words "Oh, and he's got LAZER EYES." ARGHGHGGHGH! You can't just add lazer eyes as a power onto a character to make him Better. Lazer eyes will probably make a character worse, almost ALWAYS is my guess. Lazer eyes did not attract ONE SINGLE EXTRA ASS to your shitty movie. NOT ONE.


I missed the whole Deadpool phenomenon because I haven't read a comic book in at least 10 years. I also have not seen this movie.

However, even I will agree that you can't just add random powers to an established character. Anybody remember Superman's Great-Wall-Of-China-Rebuilding-Vision?

How do these scripts get made? Was it so hard to think of a good script based on the character's actual abilities? Didn't the hundreds of previously published issues have anything useable?

Attention Hollywood: the reason these characters are popular is because they're good the way they are. They don't need to be reinvented! If you absolutely must change something, then add things that make logical sense (like Spiderman's innate web shooters). Just because it's based on a comic book doesn't mean you can just make shit up!

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I haven't seen it just because of what they did to Deadpool.

It makes you wonder what these script writers are on when they do to characters what they do. If you think that they don't know the characters , you're right.

I was in contact with the writers of Transformers and Transformers 2 before the first one came out. Neither of them had any idea about the mythoology of the brand and it shows in the movies.

Itried to wite a review of Trans2 on here and ended up more pissed than anything. But it's hard to believe that Wolverine could've been worse than Revenge of the Fallen.

Why don't they get fans of the characters to write the stories and scripts for them? It's almost like they want all of the properites to be shit when they hit the big screen.
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Samuel Sol
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CapAp wrote:
Seriously, movie executives. WHAT THE FUCK. Someone actually seriously ended a meeting with the words "Oh, and he's got LAZER EYES."


See Cyclops.
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John So-And-So
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yohanleafheart wrote:
See Cyclops.


Had the "Cyclops: Origins" meeting ended with "Oh, and he's got adamantium claws", I would be equally pissed.
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Samuel Sol
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CapAp wrote:
yohanleafheart wrote:
See Cyclops.


Had the "Cyclops: Origins" meeting ended with "Oh, and he's got adamantium claws", started I would be equally pissed.


Cyclop: Origins would be worst than Wolverine: Origins.
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The thing that got to me the most about the movie was the over the toppyness compared to the other X movies.

We have assmebled a team of ultimate gritty badasses, but we don't really need a whole team of them, so they will take turns solo destroying things at my whim.

Or Cyclops' casual glance tearing a hole through an entire school!
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John W
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Rubric wrote:
How do these scripts get made? Was it so hard to think of a good script based on the character's actual abilities? Didn't the hundreds of previously published issues have anything useable?

Attention Hollywood: the reason these characters are popular is because they're good the way they are. They don't need to be reinvented! If you absolutely must change something, then add things that make logical sense (like Spiderman's innate web shooters). Just because it's based on a comic book doesn't mean you can just make shit up!
You hit the exact reason why I was SO infuriated and disappointed with Wolverine the movie.

It was made by MARVEL!
And they LET the producers accept the shit the writers put out, that completely ignored every character and story arc that have made these characters popular for decades.

Question : Why do they think they are being allowed to work on this movie?

Answer : because the characters have lasted so long and built such a fanbase.

Wait a minute - you know what?
Actually, these Hollywood dipshits probably believe that they are working on the movie because the 1st Xmen movie had a popular character called Wolverine in it, played by Hugh Jackman -
they actually don't connect that the movie-character's success has ANYthing to do with the comic book character.
They got a great actor to do a great interpretation of Wolverine, but the success of the movie character would not have happened if not for the strength of the established character. Hollywood simply does not write characters that good.

But the producers think that the 1st X-men movie basically invented Wolverine out of whole cloth, and they fail to realize that much of the reason why the character appeals to even non-comicbook-fans is because of the pathos, story-arcs, and characterization that has been established through decades of comic books.

So it's easy for them to throw out all the established successful and enduring aspects of the characters and stories, and just say "Hey - what would be cool to see onscreen and would allow for a neat visually-appealing battle-scene and ample romantic tragedy and naked Hugh Jackman opportunities?"

I'm telling you, when I saw that they pulled the ridiculously-cliche Hollywood move of "let's ignore every established character and mutant power, and just make our own Frankenstein antagonist that combines EVERY mutant's powers - that'll ramp up the drama and give everyone what they're looking for in a summer movie!" I just shook my head.

I don't even know shit about the Deadpool character, and I was offended for its fans.
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John W
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CapAp wrote:
Seriously, movie executives. WHAT THE FUCK. Someone actually seriously ended a meeting with the words "Oh, and he's got LAZER EYES." ARGHGHGGHGH! You can't just add lazer eyes as a power onto a character to make him Better. Lazer eyes will probably make a character worse, almost ALWAYS is my guess. Lazer eyes did not attract ONE SINGLE EXTRA ASS to your shitty movie. NOT ONE.

But, see, you don't get it - you don't understand the genius of laser-eyes :
they can pervert everything about a character, completely shred the audience's suspension of disbelief, make a mockery of realistic cinema just so they can have a few second shot of a severed mutant head spiraling down, and causing a cooling tower to come apart in beautiful 100-foot wide CGI glory.

Hollywood actually thinks it is more important to do that then worry about what that blasphemy of storytelling does to every character in the movie.
Who cares if that one set-up brings up no less than 5 unanswerable, fatal story flaws? (i.e. why did they need Deadpool as a test subject? Is the process replicatable? Why didn't they use any of the other mutants they captured to make MORE soldiers? Why did they need Deadpool to have all the powers? Why didn't he use more of them?)

Who cares if it turns Sabertooth and Wolverine into complete morons who choose to fight 150 feet in the air against a teleporter with a ranged optic blast (that can blow them off the top of the tower with even a glancing blow). Hell, they even established that the lazer eyebeam can go through schools, so why didn't Deadpool just shoot UNDER Wolvie?

There's a whole heck of a lot more to be upset about with Wolverine Origins other than the Deadpool character.
Lazer eye-beams was the least of the problems.... to anyone but a Deadpool fanboy. [size=9]
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John So-And-So
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reapersaurus wrote:
There's a whole heck of a lot more to be upset about with Wolverine Origins other than the Deadpool character.
Lazer eye-beams was the least of the problems.... to anyone but a Deadpool fanboy. [size=9]


It's true. We laughed our asses off at "Adamantium bullets" and Stryker's plan to shoot holes in Wolverine's mind with them. During the final showdown, when he pulled out the gun, I yelled "AIM FOR HIS MEMORIES!" at the screen, and that got more of a laugh than anything in the script.

But to me, this is the kind of thing that BELONGS in an action movie. It's the kind of thing that made me love Commando and Rambo as a kid. Retarded cliches are OK. Stupid plot holes are OK. I'm willing to give comic book movies lots of leeway when I think of them as action pictures. There's a difference between superhero flicks (SpiderMan, Iron Man) and comic book dramas (V for Vendetta, Watchmen) to me.

I just don't see why you'd totally mutilate a cult favorite character. The only reason to put DP in the movie is to draw in his fans, and then you F him in the A. It's like if they put Mr T in a cameo in the new A-Team movie, but have him play a little old lady. What's the goal?
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I would kill to see Mr. T as a little old lady. Especially if he said "I pity the fool dat messes wit my Medicare!".
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You really really don't want to see Transformers 2.

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RowdyRodimus wrote:
Why don't they get fans of the characters to write the stories and scripts for them? It's almost like they want all of the properites to be shit when they hit the big screen.


Could it be because the 'fans' are a tiny minority of the population, and they make movies to appeal to the majority of the population? Maybe they actually care about ticket sales and such?

Nah, can't be that simple, must be some more sinister reason in there somewhere.
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Gecko23 wrote:
RowdyRodimus wrote:
Why don't they get fans of the characters to write the stories and scripts for them? It's almost like they want all of the properites to be shit when they hit the big screen.


Could it be because the 'fans' are a tiny minority of the population, and they make movies to appeal to the majority of the population? Maybe they actually care about ticket sales and such?

Nah, can't be that simple, must be some more sinister reason in there somewhere.


While that is true, the fact of the matter is, the tiny minority are the ones that will decide if a lot of non-fans will go. I've kept dozens of people from seeing Transformers 2 just because of how horrible I thought it was.

The majority of the people wait for reviews from people that have seen it and most of the early screeners are the fans. The majority of the fans will just go see the latest Kate Hudson or Pixar film instead.

If the people that write and direct these things don't have some love for the characters we end up with crap. Look at Iron Man, Favreaux loved the character and look at how great the movie ended up.

There is a pattern.
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Gecko23 wrote:
RowdyRodimus wrote:
Why don't they get fans of the characters to write the stories and scripts for them? It's almost like they want all of the properites to be shit when they hit the big screen.


Could it be because the 'fans' are a tiny minority of the population, and they make movies to appeal to the majority of the population?


You say this as if the two are mutually exclusive. They don't have to be. But it would required more skilled writing than they apparently have available.

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