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Subject: Things That Annoyed Me 6/24-6/30 rss

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Erik D
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1. Opposite Day - The other day, my co-worker sent me an email asking me a question. It's an answer she should know already, but I was happy to help. A few minutes later, she sent me an IM asking me the same question again. I knew she received the email, so I answered again, using smaller words. Then she stopped by my desk and asked me the same question the third time. I carefully explained one more time, only this time having her explain to me exactly what I just said to make sure she heard me correctly. Somehow, she managed to tell me the exact opposite what I told her.

2. Off-Topic Blogs - I like Gothamist. It's a blog that tracks news, events, reviews, etc around the NYC area. Why are they reporting Michael Jackson's death? Are they afraid someone might not hear the news from the eight thousand other outlets that are breaking the story at the same time? IMDB is a big offender on this one. If I cared about television news, I would've subscribed to a TV news blog. I don't need to know about the latest John & Kate Plus 8 ratings from the Internet Movie Database.

3. Cereal Fillings - The cereal I eat every morning is heartier than your usual corn flake. As much as I like it, at least three days a week a tiny piece cements itself to one of my molars. I spend the next hour fishing it out with my tongue, fingernails and pen caps until it dislodges itself.

4. The NBA Draft - I hate basketball. I would rather watch every opening match of Wimbledon than a single NBA game. When scores combine for triple digits, it's a lame sport. It's the major flaw with Bill Simmons, my favorite sports writer. He believes basketball to be the sport of the gods and thus can't stop writing about it from September through June. Hell, he even has a 700-page book about the subject coming out. So the Lakers win the championship in five games, an admirable accomplishment since the NBA season ends two games sooner than possible. That gives me a couple months of basketball-free sports reading, right? Then comes the NBA draft. Two weeks of draft board speculation followed by another week of grading the teams. When I form my own nation, there will only be two forms of basketball that will be legal: HORSE and games no more than 5 minutes in length (and no time-outs).

5. Law of Inverse Effort - I'm sure I mentioned this before, but it merits repeating. The Law of Inverse Effort is the phenomenon of the tasks that take the longest to do have the smallest return of investment and vice versa. As you can guess, it hit hard last week.

6. "You have unused icons on your desktop." - I'm an icon minimalist. There are no more than eight icons on my desktop at any given time. I know they're unused, but they're there for a reason. Why must you keep popping up the notice once a month until I placate you by opening the Desktop Clean UP Wizard only to cancel it?

7. Subluxated Shoulder - Two years ago I popped my shoulder out diving for a frisbee. It didn't pop back in until I rolled onto it a few minutes later. For the rest of the summer, my arm kept feeling like it was going to fall out of the socket. Well, I did it again last Saturday. While not as bad as that first time, the arm-falling-off feeling is still prevalent, especially while sitting at my desk. It's bad enough I have to spend 9 hours in a building that trades a beautiful day for soul-sucking air conditioning, but I really don't need my arm rebelling against me at the same time.

8. Adobe Acrobat - Preview on my Mac opens PDFs in 5 seconds. Acrobat takes a fortnight. What the hell, Adobe?

9. "Do you want to save changes?" - When sent an attachment at work, I typically open it, then close the email window. Outlook immediately asks "would you like to save changes?" regarding the email. I'm fairly certain opening an attachment did not change the content of the email. At least the secondary "holy crap! you're closing an email while an attachment is open! that may rip a hole in the universe!" message no longer pops up.

10. The Horns of South Africa - Whoever started selling those horns the fans were blowing during the Confederations Cup in South Africa should be put to death. It's all that could be heard. eggie said it sounded like a swarm of bees. You couldn't hear the crowd cheering, there were no chants to speak of, and the noise level neither waxed nor waned to reflect the action on the field. If these aren't banned for the World Cup next year (also in South Africa), I may not even bother to watch.

11. Time Warp - All day yesterday I thought it was Wednesday. I hate those forward-moving Time Warps. They're much more fun when it's Thursday and you think it's Wednesday because the week gets suddenly shorter when you come to your senses.

12. Why I'm Not Taking Guitar Lessons From You - I'm thinking of taking some formal guitar lessons to expand my skills beyond open chords. One place looked promising, but failed to list cost on the site. I sent them an inquiry which (ugh) requires me to also leave my phone number. In the message, I ask for both the cost of lessons and for the response to come via email, not phone. One day later, I receive a voicemail from them that makes no mention of cost, only to call back. I believe I shall look for instruction elsewhere.

13. DMNews - When I started at my company, I received the weekly DM (Direct Marketing) News in the mail. When the free subscription ran out, I didn't bother to renew because, frankly, my place of business is the complete opposite of Direct Marketing. Each week I receive about 3 emails from these guys and I unsubscribe from each one. I've contacted people there to personally request removal from their email lists. One explanation I got was "oh, you were removed from this list, but not that one". Why do you have multiple lists that all promote the same thing? The emails are still rolling in. I'm still futily unsubscribing from them. Sigh.

14. Eggie's back on the list. First, an aside. When I first typed "back on", I actually wrote "bacon". Think what you will. Anyways, a perennial annoyance is eggie's insistence on reading the spoilers to movies before we see them. She says it started as a way to tell whether or not her folks would like the movie before going out to it, a reverse parenting maneuver if you will. Now, she's just addicted. Why wait 90-150 minutes to find out the end when you can just read the Wikipedia entry? As mentioned in an earlier thread, she now does this as we watch the movie at home, most recently going as far as reading quotes from Army of Darkness while watching Army of Darkness. Going out to movies is even worse. She insists she won't spoil anything for me, but I know if something bad will happen because she starts grabbing my arm or something good will happen because she'll start excitedly swatting my shoulder and point to the screen. Oh, and sometimes she'll get a little smug about knowing what happens when I don't. To paraphrase an old commercial for Men In Black, it's like she's watching it again for the first time.
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erak wrote:


7. Subluxated Shoulder



Say that 5 times fast.
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erak wrote:
I hate basketball.

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as for #1. My husband's boss has a solution for that. She has a log book of questions asked....Basically, he is only allowed to ask her a question once, and it gets on the log book. He is not allowed to ask her more than once. =p
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erak wrote:
1. Opposite Day - The other day, my co-worker sent me an email asking me a question. It's an answer she should know already, but I was happy to help. A few minutes later, she sent me an IM asking me the same question again. I knew she received the email, so I answered again, using smaller words. Then she stopped by my desk and asked me the same question the third time. I carefully explained one more time, only this time having her explain to me exactly what I just said to make sure she heard me correctly. Somehow, she managed to tell me the exact opposite what I told her.


What do you think about Tuesday Toes Day?


Quote:
I hate basketball.

subscribe

Quote:
6. "You have unused icons on your desktop." - I'm an icon minimalist. There are no more than eight icons on my desktop at any given time. I know they're unused, but they're there for a reason. Why must you keep popping up the notice once a month until I placate you by opening the Desktop Clean UP Wizard only to cancel it?


Now that you point this out...I HATE THIS TOO!!

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erak wrote:
4. The NBA Draft - I hate basketball. I would rather watch every opening match of Wimbledon than a single NBA game. When scores combine for triple digits, it's a lame sport.
And then there's the strict Soccer fan's view: if scores get into the double digits, it's a lame sport.

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9. "Do you want to save changes?" - When sent an attachment at work, I typically open it, then close the email window. Outlook immediately asks "would you like to save changes?" regarding the email. I'm fairly certain opening an attachment did not change the content of the email. At least the secondary "holy crap! you're closing an email while an attachment is open! that may rip a hole in the universe!" message no longer pops up.
I LOL'd. I hate Outlook for a number of reasons, but we use it at work, so I can relate.
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erak wrote:


7. Subluxated Shoulder - Two years ago I popped my shoulder out diving for a frisbee.


This sentence should never be spoken by any sane person. Anywhere. Any time. Ever.

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erak wrote:
6. "You have unused icons on your desktop."



Right-click on your desktop and left-click "Properties," then click on the "Desktop" tab.
At the bottom of the screen, click "Customize Desktop."
At the bottom of that screen, uncheck "Run Desktop Cleanup Wizard, etc"

Hit Ok, and BE FREE!!!!


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erak wrote:
Eggie's back on the list.[/b]

I too have spouse movie-watching issues. My wife suffers from severe ludiotaxonomania, which is the compulsion to blurt out the names of supporting cast members when they appear on screen, sometimes with brief résumé. If she has seen the actor on stage she will be sure to inform me of that as well. The difficulty is that oftentimes when a new character appears in a movie he or she will have some little bit of dialogue to speak to the rest of the cast, and this is always drowned out by my Better Half. I will have no idea whether the character is providing the location of the secret plans or announcing the untimely demise of Dr. Fong, but I will know that that actor once assayed the role of Demetrius in a London production of A Midsummer Night's Dream.
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Gola wrote:
erak wrote:
Eggie's back on the list.[/b]

I too have spouse movie-watching issues. My wife suffers from severe ludiotaxonomania, which is the compulsion to blurt out the names of supporting cast members when they appear on screen, sometimes with brief résumé. If she has seen the actor on stage she will be sure to inform me of that as well. The difficulty is that oftentimes when a new character appears in a movie he or she will have some little bit of dialogue to speak to the rest of the cast, and this is always drowned out by my Better Half. I will have no idea whether the character is providing the location of the secret plans or announcing the untimely demise of Dr. Fong, but I will know that that actor once assayed the role of Demetrius in a London production of A Midsummer Night's Dream.


In our house, this is called "Gary Oldman's Talking" after eggie's strange habit of speaking whenever Gary Oldman is.
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Things that annoyed ME (Bop517) 7/1/09

1. This entry
erak wrote:
[4. The NBA Draft - I hate basketball. I would rather watch every opening match of Wimbledon than a single NBA game. When scores combine for triple digits, it's a lame sport. It's the major flaw with Bill Simmons, my favorite sports writer. He believes basketball to be the sport of the gods and thus can't stop writing about it from September through June. Hell, he even has a 700-page book about the subject coming out. So the Lakers win the championship in five games, an admirable accomplishment since the NBA season ends two games sooner than possible. That gives me a couple months of basketball-free sports reading, right? Then comes the NBA draft. Two weeks of draft board speculation followed by another week of grading the teams. When I form my own nation, there will only be two forms of basketball that will be legal: HORSE and games no more than 5 minutes in length (and no time-outs).


It is the sport of the gods.

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erak wrote:
4. The NBA Draft - I hate basketball.


One thing I hate is when I say I don't like something, and somebody else tells me "you just don't understand it". So, acknowledging that you probably hate that too, I am still going to say YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BASKETBALL! Triple digit scores are not lame. Single digits? Now that's lame. All that running back and forth for one lousy point? No progression. No drama. No record of accomplishments.

However, if you absolutely must have single digit scores, then just mentally translate the basketball score into a differential. Example: "Cavs 88 Magic 87" would translate to 1-0 in favor of the good guys. That should make it more palatable to the soccer types.


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erak wrote:
4. The NBA Draft - I hate basketball. I would rather watch every opening match of Wimbledon than a single NBA game. When scores combine for triple digits, it's a lame sport. It's the major flaw with Bill Simmons, my favorite sports writer. He believes basketball to be the sport of the gods and thus can't stop writing about it from September through June. Hell, he even has a 700-page book about the subject coming out. So the Lakers win the championship in five games, an admirable accomplishment since the NBA season ends two games sooner than possible. That gives me a couple months of basketball-free sports reading, right? Then comes the NBA draft. Two weeks of draft board speculation followed by another week of grading the teams. When I form my own nation, there will only be two forms of basketball that will be legal: HORSE and games no more than 5 minutes in length (and no time-outs).


thumbsup

Yeah, I really hate the NBA too. I'm not a soccer guy, but I can watch the "big games" from time to time without any discomfort. This year I made an effort to watch some NBA playoffs and championship games and I couldn't hang for more than two minutes before I was scrambling for the remote.

Would your ban include NCAA basketball? Because if it would, I couldn't be a citizen...

erak wrote:
13. DMNews - When I started at my company, I received the weekly DM (Direct Marketing) News in the mail. When the free subscription ran out, I didn't bother to renew because, frankly, my place of business is the complete opposite of Direct Marketing. Each week I receive about 3 emails from these guys and I unsubscribe from each one. I've contacted people there to personally request removal from their email lists. One explanation I got was "oh, you were removed from this list, but not that one". Why do you have multiple lists that all promote the same thing? The emails are still rolling in. I'm still futily unsubscribing from them. Sigh.


I hate that. I get the spam emails as well as phone calls. At least three per week. The worst part is, I never signed up. Who ever had my phone number at my company over four years ago did and they still call and email.

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Rubric wrote:
erak wrote:
4. The NBA Draft - I hate basketball.


One thing I hate is when I say I don't like something, and somebody else tells me "you just don't understand it". So, acknowledging that you probably hate that too, I am still going to say YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BASKETBALL! Triple digit scores are not lame. Single digits? Now that's lame. All that running back and forth for one lousy point? No progression. No drama. No record of accomplishments.

However, if you absolutely must have single digit scores, then just mentally translate the basketball score into a differential. Example: "Cavs 88 Magic 87" would translate to 1-0 in favor of the good guys. That should make it more palatable to the soccer types.




No drama? I want you to compare the final minute of a close NHL game with the final minute of a close NBA game. In the NHL, one team paper tigerizes themselves by pulling the goalie in a last ditch attempt to pull even. Players beat the crap out of each other in a fight for a frozen chunk of bowling ball they hope to fire 80MPH at the net while other players gladly take the shot to the stomach if it means saving the game. Time elapsed including stoppages of play: 1-4 minutes. In the final minute of an NBA game, the team that's behind pokes opposing players in the belly button in hopes to stop the clock, force some snoozer free throws, get the ball, then call one of their six hundred and forty two time outs to draw up a play. Time elapsed: six and one-half hours.
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captkayoss wrote:
erak wrote:
4. The NBA Draft - I hate basketball. I would rather watch every opening match of Wimbledon than a single NBA game. When scores combine for triple digits, it's a lame sport. It's the major flaw with Bill Simmons, my favorite sports writer. He believes basketball to be the sport of the gods and thus can't stop writing about it from September through June. Hell, he even has a 700-page book about the subject coming out. So the Lakers win the championship in five games, an admirable accomplishment since the NBA season ends two games sooner than possible. That gives me a couple months of basketball-free sports reading, right? Then comes the NBA draft. Two weeks of draft board speculation followed by another week of grading the teams. When I form my own nation, there will only be two forms of basketball that will be legal: HORSE and games no more than 5 minutes in length (and no time-outs).


thumbsup

Yeah, I really hate the NBA too. I'm not a soccer guy, but I can watch the "big games" from time to time without any discomfort. This year I made an effort to watch some NBA playoffs and championship games and I couldn't hang for more than two minutes before I was scrambling for the remote.

Would your ban include NCAA basketball? Because if it would, I couldn't be a citizen...


The NCAA tournament is the only time I can watch basketball. Here's what I like about it:

1. Egos are kept in check. The egos in the NBA are the worst in sports. In NFL terms, it's a league full of Terrell Owenses when what it needs is more Marvin Harrisons. In the NCAA, teamwork is rewarded far more than individuality. (Florida's repeat a year or two ago anyone?)
2. 40 minute games. 20 minute halves are far more watchable than 4 12-minute quarters.
3. Tons of games at once. The NCAA tournament is something of an anomoly--the opening rounds are far more entertaining than the final four/championship games. With so many games, one's bound to be interesting. If it isn't, just flip around.
4. Underdogs. Another major reason why the opening rounds are so entertaining. There's bound to be some major upsets. Who wasn't enthralled when George Mason made the final four a few years ago? When all the low seeds are out, I usually take only a passing interest in the rest of the tourney.
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Kafka wrote:
erak wrote:


7. Subluxated Shoulder - Two years ago I popped my shoulder out diving for a frisbee.


This sentence should never be spoken by any sane person. Anywhere. Any time. Ever.



It was during a game of ultimate frisbee if that helps explain things.
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erak wrote:

The NCAA tournament is the only time I can watch basketball. Here's what I like about it:

1. Egos are kept in check. The egos in the NBA are the worst in sports. In NFL terms, it's a league full of Terrell Owenses when what it needs is more Marvin Harrisons. In the NCAA, teamwork is rewarded far more than individuality. (Florida's repeat a year or two ago anyone?)
2. 40 minute games. 20 minute halves are far more watchable than 4 12-minute quarters.
3. Tons of games at once. The NCAA tournament is something of an anomoly--the opening rounds are far more entertaining than the final four/championship games. With so many games, one's bound to be interesting. If it isn't, just flip around.
4. Underdogs. Another major reason why the opening rounds are so entertaining. There's bound to be some major upsets. Who wasn't enthralled when George Mason made the final four a few years ago? When all the low seeds are out, I usually take only a passing interest in the rest of the tourney.


+1 !

I, too, detest pro basketball. The games aren't nearly as interesting as college games, and the damn season lasts all year long. What a waste of airtime broadcasting the NBA.

I nearly always watch the NCAA tourney, for pretty much the same reasons you do. Even if you've never heard of some small college, there they are on TV. If I don't know or care who the teams are, I root for the underdog, and sometimes they even win -- of course, I have to take full credit when they do because it was ME rooting for them that got them the win.

One "sport" (and I use that term very loosely in this case) that has surprised me by being interesting is the World Series of Poker. I never thought I would get caught up in the bluff/counter-bluff that goes on. My wife can't understand how I can watch it ("That's worse than watching golf!"), and I've tried to explain the ebb and flow and the psychology of what's going on, but since it's all in the head, she doesn't get it. And she's a psychology major. It must be a guy thing.
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Quote:
8. Adobe Acrobat - Preview on my Mac opens PDFs in 5 seconds. Acrobat takes a fortnight. What the hell, Adobe?


On my Mac, I can open my work-generated PDF in Adobe Reader, highlight the text, copy it, and paste it into a document.

On the office PC, using full Adobe Acrobat, in order to copy and paste the text from that same PDF document, I have to:

* Convert all 500 pages to TIFF images. And I must convert ALL the pages, resulting in 500 separate TIFF images. This takes about 40 minutes.
* Open a TIFF image in Acrobat.
* Run OCR on the TIFF. (And I can only do this one TIFF at a time).
* Highlight the text, copy, and paste it.

During the last big project, I told my boss I was going home so I could get some work done.
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erak wrote:

3. Cereal Fillings - The cereal I eat every morning is heartier than your usual corn flake. As much as I like it, at least three days a week a tiny piece cements itself to one of my molars. I spend the next hour fishing it out with my tongue, fingernails and pen caps until it dislodges itself.

Grape Nuts?

erak wrote:

5. Law of Inverse Effort

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle


erak wrote:
7. Subluxated Shoulder

I work at a physical therapy center. It is kind of an upscale boutique, but I could probably work something out for you. (A gamer you know went here and was very happy).

erak wrote:
11. Time Warp

You should commit to come to our 4th of July BBQ on Sat. The dread will speed your week up.

erak wrote:
14. Eggie's back on the list.

My wife watched the last DVD of Angel ahead me when we were watching the series together. She totally gave away some significant changes in some major charaters (no spoilers) right before they happened. AARRGH!
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erak wrote:


1. Egos are kept in check.


Oh, I thought you wrote Eggies. I was going to ask you where you keep the other Eggies.
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erak wrote:


14. Eggie's back on the list. First, an aside. When I first typed "back on", I actually wrote "bacon". Think what you will. Anyways, a perennial annoyance is eggie's insistence on reading the spoilers to movies before we see them. She says it started as a way to tell whether or not her folks would like the movie before going out to it, a reverse parenting maneuver if you will. Now, she's just addicted. Why wait 90-150 minutes to find out the end when you can just read the Wikipedia entry? As mentioned in an earlier thread, she now does this as we watch the movie at home, most recently going as far as reading quotes from Army of Darkness while watching Army of Darkness. Going out to movies is even worse. She insists she won't spoil anything for me, but I know if something bad will happen because she starts grabbing my arm or something good will happen because she'll start excitedly swatting my shoulder and point to the screen. Oh, and sometimes she'll get a little smug about knowing what happens when I don't. To paraphrase an old commercial for Men In Black, it's like she's watching it again for the first time.



But I have such a bad memory, that most of the time, I don't really remember what's going to happen anyway.

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Erik has the hiccups now!
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sisteray wrote:
erak wrote:

3. Cereal Fillings - The cereal I eat every morning is heartier than your usual corn flake. As much as I like it, at least three days a week a tiny piece cements itself to one of my molars. I spend the next hour fishing it out with my tongue, fingernails and pen caps until it dislodges itself.

Grape Nuts?


Special K Smart Start, though we fancy it up with dried cranberries and shaved coconut.

Quote:
erak wrote:

5. Law of Inverse Effort

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle


Aw man, and I thought I was so clever coming up with it on my own.


Quote:
erak wrote:
11. Time Warp

You should commit to come to our 4th of July BBQ on Sat. The dread will speed your week up.


Alas, my in-laws were smart enough to bok that date months in advance.

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Thumb just for hating basketball.
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1. Opposite Day

All days are the same for me. Just an endless, magical train of sunrises and sunsets interrupted only by the sweet sound of birds chirping and the unemployment check thumping into the mail box.


2. Off-Topic Blogs


Nothing on this planet is more important than understanding that Michael Jackson is really dead. And it's vital to be assured every day that it remains that way. Thus your blog may be forgiven.

3. Cereal Fillings

I recommend the toast.

4. The NBA Draft

As I said... or perhaps repeated?... in another thread: I would watch this fine sport so long as they gave each team 100 points, started the clock with only two minutes remaining and then spent the rest of the allotted time with short segments on the homes, autos and tattoos of the players.

5. Law of Inverse Effort

I learned this law at an early age. So... whenever I had a boss and was asked to do anything long, difficult and tedious I simply refused, telling my boss, "It's just not worth the effort."

See #1 above for how this strategy plays out.

6. "You have unused icons on your desktop."

Since I rarely get any emails or phone calls from anyone, I look forward to these special moments.

7. Subluxated Shoulder

I received mine in a dramatic crash in a motorcycle race in 1978 at the old Ontario Motor Speedway in a driving rain at 115 MPH while dicing for a top 10 position during the filming of Peter Brown's "On Any Sunday II".

You say you were playing Frisbee? That's nice.

8. Adobe Acrobat

I like the little hand that this program uses. What's a Mac?

9. "Do you want to save changes?"

Yes, yes I do.

10. The Horns of South Africa

Are these as annoying as the air horns at Monster Truck Jams? If so then I understand your annoyance. I can actually feel the beer vibrating in the can when someone near me blows one of those things.

11. Time Warp

See #1 above.

12. Why I'm Not Taking Guitar Lessons From You

My advice to you is self-instruction. Once you can play the lead to "Ghost Riders in the Sky and follow that up with "Pipeline" you have most likely advanced as far as you're going to get. Guitars do look terrific as art hanging on the wall though.

One of my school chums was the younger brother of Trini Lopez. His name was either Quatro or perhaps Pablo... I forget. Anyway, he played "If I had a hammer" at the talent show and was awful. Which proved to me that even with a world famous brother teaching, some people are just not destined to be as popular as Trini Lopez.

13. DMNews

This would be a great name for an RPG web site. RPGGeek.com would be better, but I think that's taken.

14. Eggie's back on the list.

I think you should lighten up on Eggie. Movies aren't the same for everyone Erak. Some people view them as a shared experience and care little for any surprise, wonder or suspension of disbelief. To them a movie is all about sharing the experience with their most valued friends and/or partners. Few things can cement the bonds of love stronger than simultaneously shouting out the lines from Army of Darkness and then enjoying a glass of wine in the warm afterglow of mutual Geekdom.

Or, maybe not. You could tell her to shut her piehole and let you enjoy the goddamn movie. But then the cement might crack and erode the bonds and decades later, living your life of quite desperation, you'd look back and think: "I gave up joy and happiness just because I wanted some peace while watching Bruce Campbell kill skeletons?"
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