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Subject: Failing My Saving Throw vs. Dignity rss

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King of All Simians — Not a Mere Diplomat
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It's stupid, I know. I'm not the kind of nerd who hides his proclivities under a barrel, right? I wear my science and RPG shirts, and I'll talk anyone's ear off about comic strips and board games. But since moving out to the sticks, I've really wanted to get a D&D game going. I've only had the chance to play 4E a couple of times since its release, and I've really enjoyed it. Now, I'd like to get some folks together and run 'em through some dungeons. Fun, right?

But I don't really wanna meet random RPG dudes. I don't think I need to explain why, eh? God bless 'em all, but there are some cats that are just too...gamey. I wanna find a down-to-earth set of cats like I am. Thirtysomething guys with varied interests and decent-enough social skills who happen to be raging nerds. Is that too much to ask?

So I went through my Facebook friends in the area, canvassing for players. I figured I'd start with folks I know, folks who might have played Back In The Day. To be honest, I like the idea of playing with amenable non-players, 'cos they're not burdened with rules lawyering and such.

But when I wrote my invitation, I was taken aback by how tentative and wishy-washy I sounded. "Well, I don't know if you'd be into this..." "If you're not interested, I totally understand..." "I know it's totally dorky..." I also talked up the fun, of course, and the ease in running one-off sessions with the new rules, so don't think I was sabotaging things. But still, why is an out-n-proud nerd like me still so sheepish about RPGs?

I'm ashamed that I'm ashamed that I'm not ashamed...

Y'all's what play D&D, do you play with a group you've been with forever, or casual adults, or game shop nerds...? Any tips for starting a campaign among people who aren't gamers as a rule?
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So it goes
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The core of my group I met in high school or college over 20 years ago and we're still together dorking away. Others have joined along the way. The most recent permanent additions joined the group about 10 years ago. A few friends of friends have joined over the years, but personality conflicts saw them quickly leave or asked not to return (we can be fairly harsh if the mood strikes us).

One of my high school friends who we don't call anymore due to his frequent anger issues has looked all over and has joined a few groups in the metro area but found that for the most part they are those 'too gamey' types.

Finding a good group with the right chemistry can be very tough. The wrong mix can make a game not fun in a hurry. Too bad Dekalb is so far away...........
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Tim Fiscus
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I met the DM of my new group (we just started a 4e campaign) in local community theater. We didn't even know that we both were gamers until after we had been through an entire run of a show together (almonst 4 months!). The show was "Noises Off", and we were both leads. One night, I wore a Magic: The Gathering t-shirt to rehearsal (I played and judged back in the 1990s), and he was shocked and thrilled! We started talking and realized we both were gamers and now we have a weekly session (I join live via Skype to the USA) where we play D&D 4e, Descent, Agricola, whatever strikes our fancy. His son and daughter-in-law join us, and a few of their friends. It's an entirely socially normal group that I would be happy to take out to dinner at a fancy restaurant without wondering who was going to wear Spock ears or something.

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Andrew W.
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Started with my current RPG group my Senior year of University. Three editions later, three of us from that group have stuck together for a monthly marathon day of games.

Attempts to find other RPG players have met with individuals with too little time to meet regularly or with too little social skills. Boardgamers have been a much more successful search. It takes less individual commitment to attendance.

We are loving the 4th ed rules , except some complaints about Nerf weapons compared to past editions. I see the reason why they do it though.
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Holmes! wrote:
Y'all's what play D&D, do you play with a group you've been with forever, or casual adults, or game shop nerds...? Any tips for starting a campaign among people who aren't gamers as a rule?

I got sucked into the campaign I'm playing at the moment (after 15 years away from the game) by the DM describing the setting and house rules to me. The DM is a chap from work.

Come to think of it, you probably work at a place with an IT department. If you can drag them away from World of Warcraft, they will play.
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Joe
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Don't give up on the people you believe to be non gamers!

My first exposure to D&D was at a cousins house, somewhere between the ages of 9-11. A couple of the cousins were 2-3 years older. We were at family gathering and most of he cousins were all hunkered in the basement playing D&D, I had never heard of it. They lived on several wooded acres and I could not get any of them to go out and run around the woods with the air rifles and sling shots like we always would. I watched for a bit and eventually went outside and played my own "imaginary" campaign amoung the fallen trees and brush.

When first asked if I played games I was instantly 10 years old again wondering why they would rather play in the basement than in the woods. I politely declined and ran as fast as I could for my air rile. After listening to them talk about the games they were playing for a couple months I started to think, this does not sound like what I remember.

I did not know there were other "games" besides the RPG or D&D you hear about. So I asked if the next time they were getting together if I could check it out.

So I showed up the next Saturday and played Puerto Rico. I have been hooked since. None of the group play RPG's but if they suggested it now, I may just give it a go.

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Xander Fulton
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sbszine wrote:
If you can drag them away from World of Warcraft, they will play.


That's a pretty damn BIG 'if'. The guys at our office into WoW can't be pried away from it for a second to be bothered with any other kind of gaming at all - even on the PC! And free! That would require nothing but them installing another executable and running it! With almost a dozen other office folks on it!

And it's not like they are obsessive 24/7 gamers, either - it's just every split second they DO get a chance to game....it's always, always WoW.

They don't call it "World of Warcrack" for nothing - it's some serious addiction!
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Nick Bah Doo
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I started playing with friends, and when that group disbanded I started a group with friend's friends (akin to your FB escapade), and when that group disbanded I joined a group from a coworker. All in all, never had much trouble finding RPGers.

I must add though that all of the people I mentioned are of the "Thirtysomething guys with varied interests and decent-enough social skills who happen to be raging nerds"-kind. I steer clear of the stereotypical-gamestore-visiting types.

The FB route seems like a good way to go. Start with someone you know and who'll be willing and together go from there. Good luck!
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