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Subject: Things That Annoyed Me: 7/1-7/7 rss

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Erik D
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1. Unskippable Celebrations - I've been playing the new Tiger Woods game on the Wii for about two weeks. The two things you really need to know about it are it's awesome and I suck. As I played a computer opponent in match play, in this case a Peggy Bundy-like woman with a blonde beehive do, she naturally beat me on many, many holes. I could tolerate this if it weren't for her extended victory dances that couldn't be skipped. Had this been real life, I would've skipped through those dances via a punch to her face. That's right, it's so bad I'm willing to break the boundaries of cross-gender violence.

2. A Crowd of Moms - Whenever I struck out in Little League (a frequent occurrence), my mother would cheer loudly with "Good Cut!" and "nice swing, yay!". It was worse than the strikeout itself. Going back to the new Tiger Woods game, the crowd will cheer riotously when you finish the 16th-18th holes. This is good and all when you get a birdie, but it's a little patronizing with my as-frequent-as-strikeouts triple bogies.

3. Double Click - The "Today" page on hotmail will have links to a few stories good for wasting away ten minutes of the day. Lately, when I click on them, instead of taking me directly to the story, it takes me to that story's category's homepage where I have to click the story headline a second time to access it. Do advertisers really go for these boosted page view stats?

4. "Outlook Did Not Close Down Properly" - Outlook likes to crash. It's from Microsoft, that's what they do best. The next time I restart it, it needs to "check the file for problems". No big deal, right? Well, this takes upwards to 15 minutes to complete. For the record, there has never been a single problem. Where's the "skip" function?

5. Roger Federer - Last Sunday, Roger Federer officially became sports' all-time leader in douchbaggery. The guy was always a little douchey beforehand, but he outdid himself at Wimbledon. Following an epic Wimbledon final he did not deserve to win, Federer became the all-time leader of major championships with 15. During the first commercial break following the victory, he stars in a commercial celebrating the feat. Then, back at the awards ceremony, he puts on a white windbreaker complete with "15" embroidered in gold on the back.

Understand this folks--he had this made before the championship. This is as bad as the Patriots trademarking 19-0 before the Super Bowl, only karma's late in finding Federer. It will find him, and hard.

6. 1:30 Garbage - Our garbage is collected at 1:30pm every day at the office. I eat lunch at 2, not to mention an afternoon snack. The empty yogurt/cottage cheese containers must now fester in the trash until 1:30 the next day. I really wish they'd reschedule collection until after work.

7. Chunky Milk - I bought milk for my cereal Monday morning. With an expiration date of July 15th, it seemed pretty safe, but as I poured it on my cereal, it revealed itself to be a curdled mess. In fairness to the market I purchased it at, they replaced the milk and my cereal without argument, but it lacked the shaved coconut and dried fruit I usually have in it. In their place, I poured a small opaque bag of what I thought to be granola into the cereal. It turned out to be salted mixed nuts with the occasional M&M. Now that was an interesting breakfast.

8. I'm Still Not the Ice Cream Guy - I made ice cream and brought it into the office twice, both times over 2 years ago. I'm still branded the Ice Cream Guy by the head of HR. All she asks every time we pass in the hallway is "what ice cream have you made lately?" My answer every time is "I really don't do that any more". (The only time I do is for eggie's birthday ice cream cake.) Can I please be branded something else for a change like "the guy who is multi-dimensional and does more than make ice cream from time to time"?

9. Still Getting Spammed By DMNews - A month ago, I responded to a spam from these guys for the 10th time pleading to be taken off the list. I received a response from someone on their email team who promised to take care of it personally. I got a new spam from that guy yesterday. It had a phone number attached. I called him:

erak: Please, please, please take me off this list.
DMNews guy: But you're on the list.
erak: Yes, yes, I suppose that I am, but I've asked well over ten times to be removed from it.
DMNews guy: But you can benefit from being on the list. [proceeds to give me a sales pitch]
erak: This is completely irrelevant to my job. I just want off the list.

This conversation repeats itself about three times before he's convinced.

I know I'm still on the list. It's like a tattoo--it's here forever unless I spend tens of thousands of dollars on lasers to eradicate the problem.

It turns out their offices are only 8 blocks from mine. I think I will give them a visit the next time they spam me.

10. This Week's Outage Is Brought To You By Michael Jackson - We lost Internet service for a half hour at work yesterday. Why? Because so many people were streaming the Michael Jackson funeral in the office it crashed our servers. Look people, he touched our hearts and kids, can you just move on so I can get back to work?

11. Mom's Mass Emails - I'm going to have a bracelet made for my mom. It will say WWSS on it, so every time she's tempted to forward another mass email to everyone, she'll be reminded to think "What Would Snopes Say?"
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:
Look people, he touched our hearts and kids, can you just move on so I can get back to work?
Quote of the week.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:

8. I'm Still Not the Ice Cream Guy - I made ice cream and brought it into the office twice, both times over 2 years ago. I'm still branded the Ice Cream Guy by the head of HR. All she asks every time we pass in the hallway is "what ice cream have you made lately?" My answer every time is "I really don't do that any more". (The only time I do is for eggie's birthday ice cream cake.) Can I please be branded something else for a change like "the guy who is multi-dimensional and does more than make ice cream from time to time"?


It could be worse. You could be branded the "Poopy Pants" guy. Count your blessings.
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Mark Crane
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
Nobody as funny as you should still be using hotmail. Gmail is the answer.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:


8. I'm Still Not the Ice Cream Guy - I made ice cream and brought it into the office twice, both times over 2 years ago. I'm still branded the Ice Cream Guy by the head of HR. All she asks every time we pass in the hallway is "what ice cream have you made lately?" My answer every time is "I really don't do that any more". (The only time I do is for eggie's birthday ice cream cake.) Can I please be branded something else for a change like "the guy who is multi-dimensional and does more than make ice cream from time to time"?

She's the head of HR. At least you're not the "creepy-long-hug-guy" or the "next-to-go-guy."
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
craniac wrote:
Nobody as funny as you should still be using hotmail. Gmail is the answer.


Don't worry, I use Gmail. My hotmail account is for commercial emails (amazon order info, etc) and emailing people I don't like.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:
11. Mom's Mass Emails - I'm going to have a bracelet made for my mom. It will say WWSS on it, so every time she's tempted to forward another mass email to everyone, she'll be reminded to think "What Would Snopes Say?"


You know if someone were to create an applet that when you click forward, it verifies on snopes.com, and if it's fake, it sends a small but painful shock via the mouse to the user, they will richer beyond their wildest dreams.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:

11. Mom's Mass Emails - I'm going to have a bracelet made for my mom. It will say WWSS on it, so every time she's tempted to forward another mass email to everyone, she'll be reminded to think "What Would Snopes Say?"


Your mom is my mother-in-law?

How come you never call, bro-in-law?
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
jeffwiles wrote:
erak wrote:

11. Mom's Mass Emails - I'm going to have a bracelet made for my mom. It will say WWSS on it, so every time she's tempted to forward another mass email to everyone, she'll be reminded to think "What Would Snopes Say?"


Your mom is my mother-in-law?

How come you never call, bro-in-law?


'Cause Amy has missed all of my birthdays.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
jeffwiles wrote:
erak wrote:

11. Mom's Mass Emails - I'm going to have a bracelet made for my mom. It will say WWSS on it, so every time she's tempted to forward another mass email to everyone, she'll be reminded to think "What Would Snopes Say?"


Your mom is my mother-in-law?

How come you never call, bro-in-law?


Combine the bracelet with the electric shock concept and I think you're onto something big.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:

11. Mom's Mass Emails - I'm going to have a bracelet made for my mom. It will say WWSS on it, so every time she's tempted to forward another mass email to everyone, she'll be reminded to think "What Would Snopes Say?"

My wife's grandmother does the same thing, mass mailing all kinds of weird stuff. She really likes to send weird made-up personal stories that are probably supposed to be mildly inspirational or prove some kind of point, but they're usually just plain weird and random.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:

11. Mom's Mass Emails - I'm going to have a bracelet made for my mom. It will say WWSS on it, so every time she's tempted to forward another mass email to everyone, she'll be reminded to think "What Would Snopes Say?"


It took a little bit and a couple of reply all emails telling people not to worry but this is fake, and if you want to you can read more about it at Snopes or Urban Legends. She got the hint and now checks those places herself before forwarding it on. Then she started forwarding all of those crap feel better emails and jokes so I added her email to my junk filter. When I did not respond to an important email a couple of times I just told her "I'm sorry but I must have missed it among all the other emails you sent me". She now only sends me about 3-4 joke emails a week. If you think I am being mean to my mom, I am not, I do this to everyone who treats email this way. I have now gone down to about 200 personal emails a week from the over 1000.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:
jeffwiles wrote:
erak wrote:

11. Mom's Mass Emails - I'm going to have a bracelet made for my mom. It will say WWSS on it, so every time she's tempted to forward another mass email to everyone, she'll be reminded to think "What Would Snopes Say?"


Your mom is my mother-in-law?

How come you never call, bro-in-law?


'Cause Amy has missed all of my birthdays.



Hey! Your Mom / Mom-in-Law is my Mom too!

Seriously - I get 10-20 emails every day!

I've tried to get her to use Snopes, many, many times.
Sometimes I take the time to email her the snopes link telling her that, no, using a swiffer wetjet will not kill our cat.

So far, this has had no impact on the number of forwards I receive.


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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:

6. 1:30 Garbage - Our garbage is collected at 1:30pm every day at the office. I eat lunch at 2, not to mention an afternoon snack. The empty yogurt/cottage cheese containers must now fester in the trash until 1:30 the next day. I really wish they'd reschedule collection until after work.


Do you always eat your lunch that late? It makes sense to clean the garbages out around 1:30pm because that's when most people are done with lunch and it gives the food minimal time to rot before it's removed from the building. I normally eat lunch around 11am and if my lunch scraps stayed in the garbage until closing I'm sure that it would start to smell. You might just have to adjust your eating schedule on this one.

Quote:

8. I'm Still Not the Ice Cream Guy - I made ice cream and brought it into the office twice, both times over 2 years ago. I'm still branded the Ice Cream Guy by the head of HR. All she asks every time we pass in the hallway is "what ice cream have you made lately?" My answer every time is "I really don't do that any more". (The only time I do is for eggie's birthday ice cream cake.) Can I please be branded something else for a change like "the guy who is multi-dimensional and does more than make ice cream from time to time"?


Do you watch The Office? All I could think of when I read this is Ryan the intern and how he just wanted to get through work unnoticed without being known as the anything-guy. I'm afraid that at this point it's stuck until you do something that will get you rebranded. I would shoot for slaps-people-who-mention-ice-cream-guy.

Quote:

9. Still Getting Spammed By DMNews - A month ago, I responded to a spam from these guys for the 10th time pleading to be taken off the list. I received a response from someone on their email team who promised to take care of it personally. I got a new spam from that guy yesterday. It had a phone number attached. I called him:

erak: Please, please, please take me off this list.
DMNews guy: But you're on the list.
erak: Yes, yes, I suppose that I am, but I've asked well over ten times to be removed from it.
DMNews guy: But you can benefit from being on the list. [proceeds to give me a sales pitch]
erak: This is completely irrelevant to my job. I just want off the list.

This conversation repeats itself about three times before he's convinced.

I know I'm still on the list. It's like a tattoo--it's here forever unless I spend tens of thousands of dollars on lasers to eradicate the problem.

It turns out their offices are only 8 blocks from mine. I think I will give them a visit the next time they spam me.


Can't you just spam filter their email? Another amusing option would be to get the personal address of the guy you talked to or someone high up in the company and then set up a filter to automatically forward their spam email to that address.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:

6. 1:30 Garbage - Our garbage is collected at 1:30pm every day at the office. I eat lunch at 2, not to mention an afternoon snack. The empty yogurt/cottage cheese containers must now fester in the trash until 1:30 the next day. I really wish they'd reschedule collection until after work.


Why not rinse out the containers prior to throwing them away? Or better yet rinse them out and then recycle them.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
walk_softly wrote:
erak wrote:

11. Mom's Mass Emails - I'm going to have a bracelet made for my mom. It will say WWSS on it, so every time she's tempted to forward another mass email to everyone, she'll be reminded to think "What Would Snopes Say?"


It took a little bit and a couple of reply all emails telling people not to worry but this is fake, and if you want to you can read more about it at Snopes or Urban Legends. She got the hint and now checks those places herself before forwarding it on. Then she started forwarding all of those crap feel better emails and jokes so I added her email to my junk filter. When I did not respond to an important email a couple of times I just told her "I'm sorry but I must have missed it among all the other emails you sent me". She now only sends me about 3-4 joke emails a week. If you think I am being mean to my mom, I am not, I do this to everyone who treats email this way. I have now gone down to about 200 personal emails a week from the over 1000.

I always jump in and reply all. I have a certain way of degrading the person who started the pointless rumor without incriminating the sender. It took only one of those to my coworker, mother, and wife for them all to get the point. They all check the facts before forwarding anything to me.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
thermogimp wrote:
erak wrote:

6. 1:30 Garbage - Our garbage is collected at 1:30pm every day at the office. I eat lunch at 2, not to mention an afternoon snack. The empty yogurt/cottage cheese containers must now fester in the trash until 1:30 the next day. I really wish they'd reschedule collection until after work.


Do you always eat your lunch that late? It makes sense to clean the garbages out around 1:30pm because that's when most people are done with lunch and it gives the food minimal time to rot before it's removed from the building. I normally eat lunch around 11am and if my lunch scraps stayed in the garbage until closing I'm sure that it would start to smell. You might just have to adjust your eating schedule on this one.


Never! My eating schedule is thus:

Arrival: breakfast
Noon: piece of fruit
2:00: lunch
3:30: yogurt snack
4:30: cottage cheese snack

It makes the day pass so much faster. When I have lunch earlier than 2, the afternoon drags on forever.

Quote:
Quote:

8. I'm Still Not the Ice Cream Guy - I made ice cream and brought it into the office twice, both times over 2 years ago. I'm still branded the Ice Cream Guy by the head of HR. All she asks every time we pass in the hallway is "what ice cream have you made lately?" My answer every time is "I really don't do that any more". (The only time I do is for eggie's birthday ice cream cake.) Can I please be branded something else for a change like "the guy who is multi-dimensional and does more than make ice cream from time to time"?


Do you watch The Office? All I could think of when I read this is Ryan the intern and how he just wanted to get through work unnoticed without being known as the anything-guy. I'm afraid that at this point it's stuck until you do something that will get you rebranded. I would shoot for slaps-people-who-mention-ice-cream-guy.


Yup, that's exactly the scene I was thinking of as I typed the list.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
thermogimp wrote:
erak wrote:

6. 1:30 Garbage - Our garbage is collected at 1:30pm every day at the office. I eat lunch at 2, not to mention an afternoon snack. The empty yogurt/cottage cheese containers must now fester in the trash until 1:30 the next day. I really wish they'd reschedule collection until after work.


Do you always eat your lunch that late? It makes sense to clean the garbages out around 1:30pm because that's when most people are done with lunch and it gives the food minimal time to rot before it's removed from the building. I normally eat lunch around 11am and if my lunch scraps stayed in the garbage until closing I'm sure that it would start to smell. You might just have to adjust your eating schedule on this one.


Never! My eating schedule is thus:

Arrival: breakfast
Noon: piece of fruit
2:00: lunch
3:30: yogurt snack
4:30: cottage cheese snack

It makes the day pass so much faster. When I have lunch earlier than 2, the afternoon drags on forever.

Quote:
Quote:

8. I'm Still Not the Ice Cream Guy - I made ice cream and brought it into the office twice, both times over 2 years ago. I'm still branded the Ice Cream Guy by the head of HR. All she asks every time we pass in the hallway is "what ice cream have you made lately?" My answer every time is "I really don't do that any more". (The only time I do is for eggie's birthday ice cream cake.) Can I please be branded something else for a change like "the guy who is multi-dimensional and does more than make ice cream from time to time"?


Do you watch The Office? All I could think of when I read this is Ryan the intern and how he just wanted to get through work unnoticed without being known as the anything-guy. I'm afraid that at this point it's stuck until you do something that will get you rebranded. I would shoot for slaps-people-who-mention-ice-cream-guy.


Yup, that's exactly the scene I was thinking of as I typed the list.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
Psssst Erak..........I know Eggie is CCotD and everything, but, c'mon!!!

I mean it's July 1-7, not June!!!

Or did you enter a funky timewarp and NOT invite us??!!!

kiss

Like the list, especially the mom emails. Here is mine:

People who ask you for your email address to only include you in these type of mass email mailings and not to communicate personally with you!!! I really can't stand that!! I don't mean a whole lot to you if I am just the 15th person in your mass email group listing!

AARGH!
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:

7. Chunky Milk...


Thank you for putting titles for each complaint, because it warned me to skip this one.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:
4. "Outlook Did Not Close Down Properly" - Outlook likes to crash. It's from Microsoft, that's what they do best. The next time I restart it, it needs to "check the file for problems". No big deal, right? Well, this takes upwards to 15 minutes to complete. For the record, there has never been a single problem. Where's the "skip" function?


This may be an issue with either your Outlook profile or your .PST file, depending on how you have the program set up. It's not terribly difficult to resolve, but may take 15 minutes to an hour, again depending on your set up.
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Re: Things That Annoyed Me: 6/1-6/7
erak wrote:
6. 1:30 Garbage - Our garbage is collected at 1:30pm every day at the office. I eat lunch at 2, not to mention an afternoon snack. The empty yogurt/cottage cheese containers must now fester in the trash until 1:30 the next day. I really wish they'd reschedule collection until after work.

8. I'm Still Not the Ice Cream Guy - I made ice cream and brought it into the office twice, both times over 2 years ago. I'm still branded the Ice Cream Guy by the head of HR. All she asks every time we pass in the hallway is "what ice cream have you made lately?" My answer every time is "I really don't do that any more". (The only time I do is for eggie's birthday ice cream cake.) Can I please be branded something else for a change like "the guy who is multi-dimensional and does more than make ice cream from time to time"?


Why don't you throw away your garbage in the HR lady's can? That way not only do you avoid the smell, you'll probably get a new name as well.
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EgorjLileli wrote:
Psssst Erak..........I know Eggie is CCotD and everything, but, c'mon!!!

I mean it's July 1-7, not June!!!

Or did you enter a funky timewarp and NOT invite us??!!!



Ha! Especially considering I had "Time Warps" on last week's list.

Fixed it, so now your comment just makes you look crazy. Allow me to laugh evilly now.
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erak wrote:


3. Double Click - The "Today" page on hotmail will have links to a few stories good for wasting away ten minutes of the day. Lately, when I click on them, instead of taking me directly to the story, it takes me to that story's category's homepage where I have to click the story headline a second time to access it. Do advertisers really go for these boosted page view stats?

4. "Outlook Did Not Close Down Properly"


9. Still Getting Spammed By DMNews - A month ago, I responded to a spam from these guys for the 10th time pleading to be taken off the list. I received a response from someone on their email team who promised to take care of it personally. I got a new spam from that guy yesterday. It had a phone number attached. I called him:


11. Mom's Mass Emails - I'm going to have a bracelet made for my mom. It will say WWSS on it, so every time she's tempted to forward another mass email to everyone, she'll be reminded to think "What Would Snopes Say?"


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MWChapel wrote:
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Gmail

//Problem solving since 1985.

Gmail's been around since '85? Was it a BBS?
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