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Subject: helpful facts for criminal masterminds rss

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Rusty McFisticuffs
United States
Arcata
California
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If you consider yourself a criminal mastermind, read on for some little-known facts which could save you a bit of inconvenience.

(In that sentence, "inconvenience" is code for "another taxpayer-funded ball-fondling at the hands--no pun intended--of the police.")

Suppose you find yourself in this situation: your neighbors are gone on vacation, and their cars have been moved across the street by their apparently illiterate housesitters, who have chosen to park them in front of a 4-hour parking sign. Suppose also that you are possessed of a deep-seated rage toward the local parking enforcement community, a rage which has gone so far as to manifest itself in the form of sarcastic cartoons in the local newspaper. (Consequently, a parking enforcement officer is stationed in the bushes across the street from your lair 24x7, just waiting for one of your henchmen to make the mistake of exiting their vehicle without your guest parking pass hanging from their rearview mirror.)

Suppose also that the police have been marking your neighbors' cars' tires with chalk to determine whether they've exceeded the 4-hour limit... and that an individual who may or may not be a member of your vast criminal organization has been scurrying out and erasing those marks, ha ha ha.

In that situation, here are some relevant facts:

1. It turns out that erasing those marks is against the law--at least, according to the police, who of course have a vested interest in making you think that's true--so, uhh, among other things, the individual in question may play a role in your neighbors getting a ticket for erasing the marks, on top of the tickets for exceeding the 4-hour limit.

2. Once those goddamn sneaky sons of bitches begin to suspect that someone's been erasing the marks, they start marking the other side of the tires too.

Just something to remember. Parking enforcement officers bust perps for a living, so if you want to take them on, you'd better be more than a criminal mastermind hobbyist.
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Greg r
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If it is illegal to remove the mark, can you covered the whole tire in chalk?
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Hopefully becoming a restaurant owner soon! Peter Melanson
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Feed a dog plenty of water, take it for a walk along the cars. Problem solved.
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Billy McBoatface
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Lexington
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I'm not just a criminal mastermind, I also take delight in the suffering of others. So my plan is:

* Let (nay, encourage) the police towing my neighbors cars.
* When the neighbors return, show a lot of sympathy as I secret laugh at the fools who now have to go through a lot of hassle to get their cars back. Hey! Maybe the cars were even damaged by the tow trucks! Ha ha ha!
* Now that the neighbors are good and mad, convince them to get their cars back the hard way - by suing the town/city and police to get their cars back.

At this point you can sit back and enjoy the fight as your neighbors waste their money and make the police waste their time in a ridiculous legal fight over whether or not it was right to tow the cars. You WIN!
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Nick Bah Doo
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Chaotic Neutral is a lifestyle.
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Samuel Sol
Brazil
São Paulo
SP
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pepperhead wrote:


If it is illegal to remove the mark, can you covered the whole tire in chalk?


But that would mean instant ticket, wouldn't it?
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Christychan
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Somerville
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pepperhead wrote:


If it is illegal to remove the mark, can you covered the whole tire in chalk?



I say buy a tub of chalk for all the little neighborhood brats kiddies and tell them that everyone wants their tires colored pretty!
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