Chris
United States
Marysville
Pennsylvania
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Though here at journey's end I lie in darkness buried deep, beyond all towers strong and high, beyond all mountains steep, above all shadows rides the Sun, and Stars forever dwell: I will not say the Day is done, nor bid the Stars farewell.
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I was Gaius Baltar and I wanted to be a cylon and I got my two lousy loyalty cards and both of them said I was not a cylon so I was stuck as a human even though no one still trusts me and I’m forced to share this small ship that has an odd smell with Boomer, Adama, and Roslin. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

For our first skill check Laura Roslin said she would help a lot and it looked really easy so I didn’t put in as much skill as I could and we ended up losing the check by 1 and so we lost morale.

I think I’ll move to Kobol.

Our next skill check was also very easy and Boomer said she would help and Adama promised he would help a lot but we ended up failing it by one again and we lost another morale. Who needs to pass skill checks, anyway?

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Then we had a skill check that had 3 cards that subtracted from it. We almost didn’t notice it at first. The newbie Roslin said, "Oh, blue would subtract from that skill check?" I said we have a cylon, but Boomer wouldn’t listen and said it was just a rookie mistake.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I could tell because in the sleeper agent phase Laura Roslin said she wasn’t a human anymore. She said that she was a sympathizer cylon, because all of the resources were above red.

I hope you sit on a tack, I said to Roslin. I hope the next time you get a double decker strawberry ice cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone part and lands in the brig.

Roslin gave her other loyalty card to William Adama. No one ever gives me their extra loyalty cards. I was about to use my ability to look at a player’s loyalty cards and then know for certain who the cylon is, but guess who revealed themselves as a cylon a turn before I could do it? It was a terrible horrible, no good, very bad day.

That’s what it was, because William Adama’s cylon reveal text was for humans to lose one morale. On the human’s next turn we would have brigged the cylon.

Next time, I’m just going to Kobol.

We get a cylon attack card, then another cylon attack card, and then even another cylon attack card. Nearly every cylon ship possible was out and every single civilian ship was in space just sitting there being vulnerable and we lose even more morale and then it’s not just a swarm of cylon ships outside but now we also have a boarding party inside the Galactica.

I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I told everybody. No one even answered.

So then we really needed to jump fast to get rid of these ships. We want to jump early but the FTL station gets damaged. We want to fight the centurions but the Armory gets damaged. They made me go give a speech to improve morale, but they can’t make me swallow my own words.

So another centurion boarding party arrives on the Galactica and we can’t stop them. Morale goes down even lower but I can’t make everyone happy enough with my speeches. We need a jump but the FTL is broken. Boomer told me not to fool around with the communications location, but I think I called Kobol.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

There was a third boarding party and I hate boarding parties.

Morale is down to 1 and I hate low morale.

Population is in the red, fuel is in the red, and we finally jump, but we can’t get the three distance that we need to get us to 8. I hate not making it to Kobol.

A boarding party gets to the last step before destroying the Galactica, and on the cylon player’s turn, they activate cylon fleet, choosing centurions, and wipe us out.

I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I told everybody. No one even answered.

Boomer says some days are like that.

Even in Kobol.
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David Kennedy
France
Annecy
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Brilliant! I thumbed it for the title alone, but was pleased that the full report was every bit as funny as I hoped it would be.

Well done!
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Freddie Foulds
United Kingdom
Durham
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Come play games at Newcastle Gamers!
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The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
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Hilarious! A great read to start off my day thumbsup
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Freelance Police
United States
Palo Alto
California
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generalpf wrote:
Freakin' hilarious!


Doncha mean "Frakin' hilarious"? laugh

Great session report. thumbsupthumbsupthumbsupthumbsup
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Amy Dittly
United States
Oswego
NY
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HHHHHHoooooooooooooooooo!!!!
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Absolutely wonderful

An awesome read to end my evening
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Matt Smith
United States
Troy
Michigan
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Most excellent. The title alone was enough to get my thumb.

My wife bought the book for our perpetually grumpy son, but he quickly caught on that the book was really about him. He now refuses to read it with us. Smart and grumpy - just like his father.
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Joel Mayeski
Thailand
Chiang Mai
Chiang Mai
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A fun read - it's great to laugh at the end of a not quite terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!
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