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Subject: Who wants to change a diaper? rss

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David Kahnt
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It's fun, it's healthy, it's good exercise. The kids will just love it. And we put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant.
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You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the forty-FIFTH floor? But that's another story...
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My son ate corn on the cob.



Anyone?

//puts his finger on his nose.

-DK
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Jon
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Corn? That's nothing.

BLUEBERRIES. That's where things get interesting.
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Figsak FTW
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Interesting is when he eats cat litter. My son use to sneak off just to munch on the kitty shitty.

He'd play it off like he hadn't done anything, but it's hard to hide brown teeth and fingernails compacted with turds.
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David Kahnt
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It's fun, it's healthy, it's good exercise. The kids will just love it. And we put a little sand inside to make the experience more pleasant.
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You know, they say there was a man who jumped from the forty-FIFTH floor? But that's another story...
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AnakinOU wrote:
BLUEBERRIES. That's where things get interesting.


Been there, done that.

Yeah, bad.

-DK
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Andrew W.
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DKahnt wrote:
My son ate corn on the cob.



Anyone?

//puts his finger on his nose.

-DK


Sounds like the plot of a book someone was telling me about:

Looking At The Spots On The Wall by Hu Flung Pu
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Ken
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Food? Who's afraid of changing a diaper that has regular poop in it?

Man up, fellas.

My son got ahold of and gulped down a handful of googly eyes from one of my wife's craft drawers.

As I was changing his diaper, I looked down and saw a dozen or so little eyeballs staring back at me.

It's enough to give you nightmares...goo
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Chief Slovenly
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Meh. Parenthood is all about the extremes.

We've had explodey poopy diapers, vomit in your lap, vomit down cleavage, pee-soaked shoes, diarrhea in public places without ready access to wipes or spares (my son ended up wearing a spare towel like a toga), jets of pee across the room... in fact, with other parents, we could even talk about crap like diamonds, because we rated it according to the three Cs: color, consistency, clarity.

Although thank God my son hasn't seen fit to eat googly eyes yet. Or tinsel. When did everybody's offspring suddenly turn into Labrador retrievers?
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Andrew W.
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Figsak wrote:
Interesting is when he eats cat litter. My son use to sneak off just to munch on the kitty shitty.

He'd play it off like he hadn't done anything, but it's hard to hide brown teeth and fingernails compacted with turds.



What troubles me about this anecdote is that it was not prefaced with "Once...."
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Scott Lewis
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When my oldest was first learning to crawl, she didn't really put a lot in her mouth, so we didn't worry about her. Until one day, when we were changing her diaper, we saw a little piece of carpet fuzz in her diaper. Apparently she had gotten ahold of the edge of a little carpet rug my mother-in-law had in the living room, and ate a few of the strands off of it.

I'm glad she didn't get the googly eyes though. That does indeed sound like the stuff nightmares are made of.
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Figsak FTW
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Redbeardin84 wrote:
Figsak wrote:
Interesting is when he eats cat litter. My son use to sneak off just to munch on the kitty shitty.

He'd play it off like he hadn't done anything, but it's hard to hide brown teeth and fingernails compacted with turds.



What troubles me about this anecdote is that it was not prefaced with "Once...."


Oh no. You have to leave open access to the litterbox. We lived in a small apartment and my son could crawl from one side of the apartment to the litterbox in about 7 seconds flat. So basically when you weren't watching him like a hawk, he was on his way for a snack.

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Tim Bass
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I'm glad it's not just my kids. I changed enough this weekend. I'll pass. You have fun with that.

Just watch out for projectile/explosive poop. My daughter had the uncanny ability to let loose just at the right time and hit the opposite wall of our bathroom. I'd say a good 3+ feet from counter to wall over the toilet.
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Figsak wrote:
Redbeardin84 wrote:
Figsak wrote:
Interesting is when he eats cat litter. My son use to sneak off just to munch on the kitty shitty.

He'd play it off like he hadn't done anything, but it's hard to hide brown teeth and fingernails compacted with turds.



What troubles me about this anecdote is that it was not prefaced with "Once...."


Oh no. You have to leave open access to the litterbox. We lived in a small apartment and my son could crawl from one side of the apartment to the litterbox in about 7 seconds flat. So basically when you weren't watching him like a hawk, he was on his way for a snack.



Thats weird because dogs seem to have an attraction to cat poop in the litter box. Our dog would go over to it and start munching as well. I wonder what the attraction is.
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I haven't changed a diaper for over a month. Woo! Before that, I had been changing them daily for 11 years. After about the five thousandth diaper, nothing surprises you anymore. After ten thousand, you can do it with your eyes closed, while half asleep. But even then, when you have to change a diaper on someone who is not your own kid, the horror suddenly re-surges.
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Samuel Sol
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Sooooo glad I'm not a parent
 
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yohanleafheart wrote:
Sooooo glad I'm not a parent


Children induce a kind of Stockholm Syndrome, where it's this kind of abusive relationship you'll willingly enter into: you'll tolerate the explosive poop, you'll tolerate the scratchy fingernails across your face, you'll tolerate the hour-long screaming tantrums, you'll tolerate the whining -- oh God, the whining -- you'll tolerate the hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of kids' shows, both brilliant and the ones that make you want to jab forks in your eyes, you'll tolerate the urge to put your children up on Ebay when they pour entire bottles of maple syrup in their beds and bottles of shampoo on the carpet.

You'll tolerate all that for a few enveloping hugs accompanied by the most heartfelt "I love you, Daddy" you'll ever hear. You'll tolerate all that for the happy look of pure, unadulterated, amazing and complete LOVE your baby daughter gives you as her eyes smile. And you'll tolerate years more of the above just to hear her full belly laugh.

Sure, it sounds sick and codependent, and at some level it probably is. It's also definitely not for everyone (there's a reason Matt Groening called it "Lifestyles of the Rich and Childless"). That said, I wouldn't have done anything differently.
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Figsak FTW
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Luftwaffe Flak wrote:
Figsak wrote:
Redbeardin84 wrote:
Figsak wrote:
Interesting is when he eats cat litter. My son use to sneak off just to munch on the kitty shitty.

He'd play it off like he hadn't done anything, but it's hard to hide brown teeth and fingernails compacted with turds.



What troubles me about this anecdote is that it was not prefaced with "Once...."


Oh no. You have to leave open access to the litterbox. We lived in a small apartment and my son could crawl from one side of the apartment to the litterbox in about 7 seconds flat. So basically when you weren't watching him like a hawk, he was on his way for a snack.



Thats weird because dogs seem to have an attraction to cat poop in the litter box. Our dog would go over to it and start munching as well. I wonder what the attraction is.


All dogs do that. I have 2 that do the same. Basically dogs and babies will eat anything. The great circle of life ensues when my son eats the cat litter, he then goes to the bathroom in his little trainer potty, and my dog then sneaks off and lops up the treasure my son left.

Liquids, solids, if it has flavor a baby and a dog will consume it.
 
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yohanleafheart wrote:
Sooooo glad I'm not a parent


coward !
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Samuel Sol
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stargate wrote:
yohanleafheart wrote:
Sooooo glad I'm not a parent


coward !


I prefer the term: "live to live anther day"
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Figsak wrote:
Luftwaffe Flak wrote:
Figsak wrote:
Redbeardin84 wrote:
Figsak wrote:
Interesting is when he eats cat litter. My son use to sneak off just to munch on the kitty shitty.

He'd play it off like he hadn't done anything, but it's hard to hide brown teeth and fingernails compacted with turds.



What troubles me about this anecdote is that it was not prefaced with "Once...."


Oh no. You have to leave open access to the litterbox. We lived in a small apartment and my son could crawl from one side of the apartment to the litterbox in about 7 seconds flat. So basically when you weren't watching him like a hawk, he was on his way for a snack.



Thats weird because dogs seem to have an attraction to cat poop in the litter box. Our dog would go over to it and start munching as well. I wonder what the attraction is.


All dogs do that. I have 2 that do the same. Basically dogs and babies will eat anything. The great circle of life ensues when my son eats the cat litter, he then goes to the bathroom in his little trainer potty, and my dog then sneaks off and lops up the treasure my son left.

Liquids, solids, if it has flavor a baby and a dog will consume it.
ok, stop, please stop, I can't read anymore about the nasty circle of semi-eatable things in your house.
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Figsak FTW
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Walk it off. sheep
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When my nephew was 18 months, he got in the habit of reaching into his diaper and dropping the contents on the floor after taking a dump. One morning, my brother stepped in it barefoot. Same thing happened again in a different part of the house an hour later.
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bbenston wrote:
Although thank God my son hasn't seen fit to eat googly eyes yet. Or tinsel. When did everybody's offspring suddenly turn into Labrador retrievers?


Its been my observation that toddlers and dogs have a lot of common interests. (And consider the consequences about equally well.)
 
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Luftwaffe Flak wrote:
Thats weird because dogs seem to have an attraction to cat poop in the litter box. Our dog would go over to it and start munching as well. I wonder what the attraction is.


My vet claims its vitamins and minerals.

I tell my dog its because she's a lowly, dirty, craven animal with no self respect.

Then she tries to lick me.

Dumb dog.
 
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Amy Wiles
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Corn: nothing

Blueberries: nothing

Chili: two of the most horrid diapers ever and then the next day get multiple calls from daycare in concern for the health of the child, as they experience the same horror



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Gecko23 wrote:
Luftwaffe Flak wrote:
Thats weird because dogs seem to have an attraction to cat poop in the litter box. Our dog would go over to it and start munching as well. I wonder what the attraction is.


My vet claims its vitamins and minerals.

I tell my dog its because she's a lowly, dirty, craven animal with no self respect.

Then she tries to lick me.

Dumb dog.

And I've had people wonder why I don't like dogs licking me
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