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Subject: A purely hypothetical story about eggs rss

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Burke Glover
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Ok so let's say you have a dozen eggs, and you boil and color 6 of them for Easter, but then foolishly put them back in the box with the the uncooked uncolored eggs. Well now you're in for a world of hurt. Some will tell you that colored eggs are supposed to be stored in wicker baskets with plastic grass and chocolate, but really, the whole wicker basket thing is way past being done. And who has an egg hunt with only six eggs anyway? Some will wonder why the eggs needed color changing in the first place, and others will wonder if, with the new color, a new sillier name might also be fun, to spruce up the whole idea. Make it more marketable to the dumb and uninformed masses. Eggfu, it would be called, cause kungfu is hip with the internet ninja crowd. Ninjas do kungfu, right? And the theme totally goes with eggs. Perfect. Now some people like their eggs raw, these freaks just aren't going to be happy with eggfu no matter what. Others like green eggfu but not blue eggfu, the picky bastards. And some just won't be happy unless they get to draw on the egg with those nasty wax crayons that never work. But! The eggfu will appeal to a whole new set of colored-egg enthusiasts, which is apparently a vast untapped market. Soon enough the pure-egg contingent will be dwarfed, but it won't matter, because they will only represent a tiny percentage of your egg-coloring business. They were a bunch of blowhards and always caused trouble, thinking they always had a right to question your actions, even though they themselves once joined you for Easter, Halloween, and many other egg-related holidays. You'd think after all these years in the egg business the pure-egg nutjobs might cut you some slack, but they're still sore about how they sent in money specifically to support your podcast, "Avian Embryo Chat" (now THERE's a fine name) and you lost the audio equipment in a train station in Germany. But I digress. The original point is, why bother coloring the eggs when you could genetically engineer chickenfu of different colors to make eggfu?
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True Blue Jon
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Last Easter, we had two dozen eggs: one dozen for coloring and one dozen for cooking. We boiled a dozen and put them in the fridge and then got them out the next day to color. We colored them all and on Easter morning, I hid them all and my daughter found them and then we went to cook some eggs for breakfast and found that the egg I wanted to fry was already hardboiled.
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Billy McBoatface
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Uh, yeah. I'm with you on this one, Burke.
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Erik D
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Growing up, my oldest brother was undefeated in the annual Easter egg hunt in our family. What we didn't realize is he would get up in the middle of the night and scout out where they were all hidden.

The final year of the hunt, he went nearly mad being unable to find a single one during his recon mission. In fact, none of us could find any for a half hour before I found all 12 still in their carton in the fridge. I claimed total victory.
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Gregory Amstutz
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We had a big front yard, so one year, we had our Easter Egg hunt outside.

2 weeks later, there was an awful odor coming form one of the flower beds.
There, hidden beneath a large juniper bush, was the last, forgotten Easter Egg.
yukgulpyuk!!!
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Exit 191
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People think this story is about eggs. That's funny.
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True Blue Jon
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jeRm! wrote:
People think this story is about eggs. That's funny.


Hypothetically.
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Amy Wiles
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jeRm! wrote:
People think this story is about eggs. That's funny.

Yeah. I'm still trying to figure out what it's about.



Edit: I mean, I believe I understand the general ideas in the middle, but the beginning and end make no sense to me. In light of "whatever it was that the poem was about."

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Andy
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amwiles wrote:
jeRm! wrote:
People think this story is about eggs. That's funny.

Yeah. I'm still trying to figure out what it's about.
An extrapolation of Blott's egg analogy. ninja
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My wife sneaked up behind me while I was working in the garden. I was so startled I soiled myself.
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dogzard wrote:
We had a big front yard, so one year, we had our Easter Egg hunt outside.

2 weeks later, there was an awful odor coming form one of the flower beds.
There, hidden beneath a large juniper bush, was the last, forgotten Easter Egg.
yukgulpyuk!!!


I'm sorry to say I can top that.

Many years ago when I was deemed old enough to not have to participate in the annual Easter Egg hunt with my siblings and cousins, I was given the job of hiding them so Granddaddy could take a rest.

I proceeded to go around the small back yard (about 1/4 acre) and place some of them in obvious spots and some more well-hidden. Soon the younger set came out and scattered all over the yard, quickly finding them all. It was then I spotted a white one well down in the grass underneath the natural gas meter. I picked it up, and as I turned it over I noticed that there seemed to be some faint red color on what had been the bottom.

In about 2 seconds it clicked that this was one that Granddaddy had hidden the year before and wasn't found, and had somehow survived the local fauna and the occasional pass of the lawnmower. Very gingerly I carried it over to the trash cans and carefully deposited it inside. I knew that since it was hard-boiled it wouldn't rot the way a raw one did, but I figured that whatever had happened inside that shell would not be pleasant if the shell cracked.

We all went inside and I told the assembled family what I had found, turning it into a humorous story. At that point one of the aunts decided it would be a good idea to total up the found eggs and compare that number to the total that each family group had brought. Thankfully the quantities matched, so we didn't have to worry that another one had snuck into a basket.
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Burke Glover
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Thank you all for sharing your great hypothetical stories about eggs. Some of them were quite harrowing! I think each one of us has his or her own personal hypothetical egg story to tell, and it's great we all have a forum full of egg enthusiasts with whom we can talk about our favorite subject. Keep 'em coming!

amwiles wrote:
I mean, I believe I understand the general ideas in the middle, but the beginning and end make no sense to me.


The middle is the digression! Maybe I'll come back and edit that part out for clarity... but for now I have a nice old 3-hour episode of Avian Embryo Chat queued up.
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