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Yes, I really am that awesome.
Holy crap! Check out this line:
...head injury patients who had drunk were significantly less likely to die than those who had not had any alcohol.So drinking not only makes it more likely you'll survive a head injury, it also makes you younger and makes you get less-severe injuries!
They also tended to be younger and have less severe injuries.
I'm going home tonight, and drinking until I'm 25 years old with a mild concussion!