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Subject: Dan Brown's 20 worst sentences rss

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Caleb Wynn
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The 20 worst sentences... or the 20 BEST sentences???

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Justin Morse
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Outstanding!


A truly horrible writer who does not deserve the praise or attention he receives.




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Sidewynnder wrote:
The 20 worst sentences... or the 20 BEST sentences???



Dan Brown has good sentences?
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When I read the DVC, it was a weird mix. Yes, the writing was embarrassingly bad at points, and the plot was embarrassingly bad all the way through. But I have to admit that it was exciting to read and moved fast.

If Dan Brown ever collaborates with somebody who can actually write (and somebody to brainstorm non-idiotic plots with) we may get a truly great book.
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Jeff
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Wow, that guy writes, too? Where does he find the time??
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All the way to the bank, bitches!
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Joe Gola
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Someone lent me a book-on-tape of Angels & Demons to listen to on the way to work. I liked the bit where the Vatican prison, supposedly the most bad-ass jail ever heard of, has an ancient secret tunnel leading into it. But if you think about it, that would also be a secret tunnel exit, and it's not even described as being particularly well-hidden. So, down all the centuries, the new guards at the Vatican jail would ask the old-timer guards—the guards being the people responsible for making sure that nobody escapes the jail, you understand—"say, what's down that passageway over there?" and the old-timers would just shrug their shoulders and say "damned if I know." Then the first guy would be like "It's really odd, don't you think? I mean, I think I feel a breeze coming from that direction. Since we really don't have anything else to do, maybe we should just go over there and check it out." Then the old timer would say "screw that, they don't pay me to look down mysterious echoing hallways" and then they would both forget all about it.
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Gola wrote:
Someone lent me a book-on-tape of Angels & Demons to listen to on the way to work. I liked the bit where the Vatican prison, supposedly the most bad-ass jail ever heard of, has an ancient secret tunnel leading into it. But if you think about it, that would also be a secret tunnel exit, and it's not even described as being particularly well-hidden. So, down all the centuries, the new guards at the Vatican jail would ask the old-timer guards—the guards being the people responsible for making sure that nobody escapes the jail, you understand—"say, what's down that passageway over there?" and the old-timers would just shrug their shoulders and say "damned if I know." Then the first guy would be like "It's really odd, don't you think? I mean, I think I feel a breeze coming from that direction. Since we really don't have anything else to do, maybe we should just go over there and check it out." Then the old timer would say "screw that, they don't pay me to look down mysterious echoing hallways" and then they would both forget all about it.


Or they do and that's when the porno music starts.
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A cubic zirconia-dusted pile of crap.

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Rappak wrote:
Gola wrote:
Someone lent me a book-on-tape of Angels & Demons to listen to on the way to work. I liked the bit where the Vatican prison, supposedly the most bad-ass jail ever heard of, has an ancient secret tunnel leading into it. But if you think about it, that would also be a secret tunnel exit, and it's not even described as being particularly well-hidden. So, down all the centuries, the new guards at the Vatican jail would ask the old-timer guards—the guards being the people responsible for making sure that nobody escapes the jail, you understand—"say, what's down that passageway over there?" and the old-timers would just shrug their shoulders and say "damned if I know." Then the first guy would be like "It's really odd, don't you think? I mean, I think I feel a breeze coming from that direction. Since we really don't have anything else to do, maybe we should just go over there and check it out." Then the old timer would say "screw that, they don't pay me to look down mysterious echoing hallways" and then they would both forget all about it.


Or they do and that's when the porno music starts.


Then someone comes in with an anti-matter super-bomb, hijacks a helicopter, flies it a couple thousand feet up, then jumps out sans-parachute as the bomb explodes, landing safely in the Tiber river.

At least, that's what I remember from that stupid, stupid book.
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AnakinOU wrote:

Then someone comes in with an anti-matter super-bomb, hijacks a helicopter, flies it a couple thousand feet up, then jumps out sans-parachute as the bomb explodes, landing safely in the Tiber river.

At least, that's what I remember from that stupid, stupid book.


This sounds like Clive Cussler.
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Yep, he's pretty bad. But Steve Alten is even worse. Oddly, both writers manage to put together some suspenseful, easily readable stories. So it's not like their success is completely surprising.
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Kendrick Martin
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MWChapel wrote:
Sidewynnder wrote:
The 20 worst sentences... or the 20 BEST sentences???



Dan Brown has good sentences?


Oh I'll give him a good sentence.....of DEATH!
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Quixote171 wrote:
Outstanding!


A truly horrible writer who does not deserve the praise or attention he receives.






I'm guessing you haven't read any of the Twilight books. Now there's some bad writing. Makes Dan Brown look like a Nobel Prize for Lit recipient.
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I guess I have different standards when it comes to writing than my Chit-Chat brethern. Both my wife and I thoroughly enjoyed DVC and I've also liked some (but not all) of the other things Brown has written. When his latest effort goes paperback (I'm not that anxious to read it), I'll be sure to pick it up.

To my way of thinking, a writer can be judged on several things. First and foremost, is the story interesting and entertaining? Do the ideas excite my imagination? Style is nice, but if the plot sucks or is non-existent, that's like all gravy and no meat. DVC's plot worked for me from the beginning to almost the very end (I thought Brown cheated a bit with the identity of the bad guy). Maybe it was because I bought into the religious/quasi-historical storyline, but I found the whole thing very entertaining. And the puzzles were really good.

I contrast that to writers where I enjoy their writing style, but who don't provide a good enough story. Sherri Tepper is an excellent writer and it's a pleasure to read her books. But too often, her ideas, which start out as good ones, fizzle out at the end. After several disappointments, I gave up on her. I have since read a couple of her books where the plot did work, but she's still hit and miss for me.

Then there's someone like Neal Stephenson. I don't particularly recall if his writing style was good or bad (which means it was probably adequate, but unremarkable). But absolutely nothing happened in his book! I kept waiting for it, too, but it was just a series of events strung together. Obviously, that works for some people, since he's very popular, but I have no intention of picking up anything of his again.

The other extreme is someone like Piers Anthony, who writes light and humorous stories that I might otherwise enjoy. But he's such a bad writer! Repetitive word usage, poor sentence structure, and an amateurish writing style. I actually slogged through a few of his books, because they're reasonably funny. But in the end, I just couldn't take it anymore. Another, totally different case, was Frank Herbert. Herbert could write, but his writing style was deliberately torturous and it drove me nuts. With something like Dune, which has brilliant ideas and a great storyline, I put up with it. But as the sequels started to become less interesting, it was an easy decision to swear them off, so I wouldn't have to deal with the man's maddening prose.

So I have no problem if Dan Brown has an occasional non sequitor in his writing (to be honest, I usually don't notice). His style is clear, his writing is good enough that it doesn't distract me, and his plots are interesting and exciting. Count me as a fan!
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Drew1365 wrote:
The Dan Brown Plot Generator!

http://www.slate.com/id/2228327/

An ancient code in the monuments of Ottawa.
A shadowy cult determined to protect it.
A frantic race to uncover the Shriners' darkest secret.


That's it. Unleash the tiny cars!
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Coincidentally, according to The Onion, both Brown and Crichton's writing have contributed to the steady decline of western civilization, which, according to experts, is calculated to reach its nadir this Friday.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nadir_of_western_civili...

Brown and Crichton are mentioned near the end of the article.

Very sobering indeed.

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Sidewynnder wrote:
The 20 worst sentences... or the 20 BEST sentences...

...FOR ME TO POOP ON!?
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Larry Levy wrote:
[a bunch of stuff]

This is what I wanted to say above. I haven't read anything by Stephenson yet, but regarding Anthony, Herbert, and Tepper, I am right there with you.

For me, a good story trumps good characters, which in turn trumps good writing. Getting them all in one package (The Book Thief) is like finding a cache of diamonds while tilling your garden.

To me, the original article sounds like jealousy, or worse, sour grapes.
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Verkisto wrote:
Larry Levy wrote:
[a bunch of stuff]

This is what I wanted to say above. I haven't read anything by Stephenson yet, but regarding Anthony, Herbert, and Tepper, I am right there with you.

For me, a good story trumps good characters, which in turn trumps good writing. Getting them all in one package (The Book Thief) is like finding a cache of diamonds while tilling your garden.

To me, the original article sounds like jealousy, or worse, sour grapes.


Read Stephenson's first book, "Snow Crash", and let all the others collect dust on the bookstore shelves. I was seriously disappointed with everything he has produced after such a promising debut.
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Verkisto wrote:
Larry Levy wrote:
[a bunch of stuff]

This is what I wanted to say above. I haven't read anything by Stephenson yet, but regarding Anthony, Herbert, and Tepper, I am right there with you.

For me, a good story trumps good characters, which in turn trumps good writing. Getting them all in one package (The Book Thief) is like finding a cache of diamonds while tilling your garden.

To me, the original article sounds like jealousy, or worse, sour grapes.
For me, good characters trump all else. I have liked books where nothing really happens except for character development ("Snow Country" by Kawabata is one that pops into my mind right now).

A good story is nice too, but my favorite books all have good character development.
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wmshub wrote:
For me, good characters trump all else. I have liked books where nothing really happens except for character development ("Snow Country" by Kawabata is one that pops into my mind right now).

A good story is nice too, but my favorite books all have good character development.

I sort of struggled with how to rank it with everything else, but I realized that action books tend to skimp greatly on characterization, and I loves me some good, brainless action fiction. One of the fastest books I've ever read was Icebound by Dean Koontz, and I loved it, while I was reading it. After I had finished it, I realized it had a lot of problems, one of them being the total lack of character development. It's just hard to complain about it when you don't notice it because you're reading the book so quickly.
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wmshub wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
Larry Levy wrote:
[a bunch of stuff]

This is what I wanted to say above. I haven't read anything by Stephenson yet, but regarding Anthony, Herbert, and Tepper, I am right there with you.

For me, a good story trumps good characters, which in turn trumps good writing. Getting them all in one package (The Book Thief) is like finding a cache of diamonds while tilling your garden.

To me, the original article sounds like jealousy, or worse, sour grapes.
For me, good characters trump all else. I have liked books where nothing really happens except for character development ("Snow Country" by Kawabata is one that pops into my mind right now).

A good story is nice too, but my favorite books all have good character development.


Often, I can't get past clunky writing. It doesn't matter how great the characters or plot, if the writing is clunky, I just can't read it.

Regarding Dan Brown, I read TDC, and I personally found the characters boring, the plot merely okay, and the puzzles cliche. I wasn't left guessing. I didn't care if the characters figured it all out or not. I guess I just didn't connect with the book. Sometimes I'll read something, and it just won't click with me, but if a friend really suggests another book by the same author, I'll give it a shot. Dan Brown does not fall into that category for me.

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I have to say I am a huge fan of TDVC and A&D. Like my movies, I want escapism. Yes, there are some obvious flaws, like there are a million plot holes per action movie made, but one cannot argue with the fact that his books are page turners. He has so many 'cliff hangers' that the reader cannot help but read on to see what happens.

Oh yes, and if you have ever watched Scooby Doo you will know that silhouettes and shadows have scary eyes (albeit without pink irises)!

ps. I wish I could write that badly and have his money.
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M Hellyer
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I plowed my way through the Da Vinci Code (quite a struggle). I was very distracted by how rather than finding words to convey excitement, he instead puts those sentences into italics! A cheap device for trying to generate excitement when his writing ability can't do it.
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