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Subject: How to be a celebrity man-whore in just three easy steps... rss

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Chris Tannhauser
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"I looked at my hands, I understood that one fine day, one fine evening to be precise, they would no longer be hands but some other awful thing." —Jack Kerouac
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João's craptacular thread, At last! The perfect doll for HiveGod! reminded me that I wasn't always a washed-up has-been -- I was somebody once! And you can be to!

STEP 1 -- A SIGN THAT SAYS SO


STEP 2 -- AN ACTION FIGURE


STEP 3 -- 8X10 GLOSSIES


You're almost there! For the final bit, go to Comic-Con and squat in the celebrity autograph section. You are now at STEP 5 -- PROFIT!

MOM IN LUV FAN: So, you were in a movie?

ME: A whole bunch of 'em!

MILF: Really?

ME: Yep! I have an action figure and everything.

MILF: Can you sign a picture for my son?

ME: Of course! What's his name?

MILF: Josh.

ME: [starting to scribble something about beheading mutants] ...

MILF: Actually, it's for me.

Then on to the celebrity clutch photos. So damn clutchy...

You'll get kicked out eventually, but the commotion will just draw a crowd and you can burn through the rest of the pictures outside. Just be ready for writers' cramp and sore kidneys from all that sweet, sweet squeezin'.

Ya got nothin' t' lose but yer dignity!
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True Blue Jon
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I want a 'semi-auto'graph!
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Jeff
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Oh, so that's what MILF stands for. I've always wondered...
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I don't see any men, and certainly no whoring. I'm suing.
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jeffreyac wrote:
Oh, so that's what MILF stands for. I've always wondered...


Go watch "American Pie", preferrably the unrated version. Then get into the restraints and wait for the MILF patrol.
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CHAPEL
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HiveGod wrote:

MILF:


Are you sure????



It was Comic Con after all. There is some doubt here.
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Jeff
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Ya know, (risking thread derailment here) I've never really cared to see american pie. So many of the funny movies these days just seem a little .... coarse, I guess. Unsubtle, maybe, is the word I'm looking for. I dunno - it's not like I'm what you'd call a prude (for example, I actually do know what MILF stands for...) but somehow I just don't enjoy that level of humor in a movie.

Honestly, can't remember the last comedy I saw in a theater that I enjoyed - seems like everything these days has that level of humor in it...

OK, sorry, movie content rant over...

Edited because I forgot to add: GET OFF MY LAWN!
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Aloha!
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MWChapel wrote:
HiveGod wrote:

MILF:


Are you sure????



It was Comic Con after all. There is some doubt here.
What happens at the comic-con, stays at the comic-con.

Unless you brought a camera.
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Kendrick Martin
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jeffreyac wrote:
Ya know, (risking thread derailment here) I've never really cared to see american pie. So many of the funny movies these days just seem a little .... coarse, I guess. Unsubtle, maybe, is the word I'm looking for. I dunno - it's not like I'm what you'd call a prude (for example, I actually do know what MILF stands for...) but somehow I just don't enjoy that level of humor in a movie.

Honestly, can't remember the last comedy I saw in a theater that I enjoyed - seems like everything these days has that level of humor in it...

OK, sorry, movie content rant over... :p

Edited because I forgot to add: GET OFF MY LAWN! :D


I totally agree mostly because that kind of humor is so cheap and easy. I prefer a little thought put into humor. I did enjoy Pineapple Express more then I was expecting though.
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Chris Tannhauser
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cold_fuzion wrote:

Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout! Get some, Cap'n!
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Jeff
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My favorite part is the expression on Cap's face, there... sort of looks like he's either trying to believe his good fortune, or wondering where to put his hands...
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Chris Tannhauser
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jeffreyac wrote:
My favorite part is the expression on Cap's face, there... sort of looks like he's either trying to believe his good fortune, or wondering where to put his hands...

Dear Cap: There's no wrong answer. Except for maybe the no-no square.
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HiveGod wrote:
cold_fuzion wrote:

Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout! Get some, Cap'n!
Hmmm..
Super-soldier serum... yeah right.
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jeffreyac wrote:
Honestly, can't remember the last comedy I saw in a theater that I enjoyed - seems like everything these days has that level of humor in it...

I agree, and the reason is that the people who watch the most movies (and watch them again and again) are 16 years old. An age group not known for their sophisticated humor.
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CHAPEL
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Larry Levy wrote:
not known for their sophisticated humor.


What are you, a wise guy!?



Ahhhh Ahhhhhhh Arhhhhhhh...
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Drew1365 wrote:
What happens at Comic-Con, stays at Comic-Con:




Should that not read: What happens at Comic-Con, ought to remain at Comic-Con?
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cold_fuzion wrote:

I don't think those costumes have pockets; ergo, I don't think that's a pencil in the picture.
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Joe Gola
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Wait—you're that Chris Tannhauser?
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Wait...the guy behind you in the glossy...is he wearing a leather fetish mask? What kind of movie IS that?
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Drew1365 wrote:
What happens at Comic-Con, stays at Comic-Con:



Man ? Women ? Both ? Meself confused very now - beer need to get... soblue
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John So-And-So
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cold_fuzion wrote:



This photograph demeans us all.
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Chris Tannhauser
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Whatchyoo talkin' 'bout? You look great! And there's a whole lotta all-riiight goin' on in that photo.
 
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Chris Tannhauser
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Luftwaffe Flak wrote:
Wait...the guy behind you in the glossy...is he wearing a leather fetish mask?

Yes, yes he is. You can't see it in this photo, but it's a leather fetish mask with a What Would Jesus Do? patch on it.

Quote:
What kind of movie IS that?

The bestest kind.
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