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Subject: [TTAM] First the birthday goodie bag then... rss

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JessA
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My kids play sports. Believe me, I have no idea why they would do such a thing, but evidently they enjoy it.

There is an icky trend here that I want to gripe about...

Several parents PAY their kids for doing well in a game. One parent gives her son $5 for every goal and $2 for a turnover.

Another has told her daughter that she will get her a cellphone if she scores 10 goals this season.

My kids have jokingly asked us to do the same... they're really just kidding because they know there's no way.

But I don't GET IT!!!!! Someone explain to me what the heck is up with paying your kid to do well at a sport????

Is this an isolated thing here in my area, or have you heard of such a thing around you, too?
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Richard Pakpreo
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If we did well, then it was a trip to Dairy Queen after the game. If not, laps around the field. I don't EVER remember getting paid for those things. Kids these days are spoiled rotten!
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Mystery McMysteryface
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Jatoha wrote:
My kids play sports. Believe me, I have no idea why they would do such a thing, but evidently they enjoy it.

There is an icky trend here that I want to gripe about...

Several parents PAY their kids for doing well in a game. One parent gives her son $5 for every goal and $2 for a turnover.

Another has told her daughter that she will get her a cellphone if she scores 10 goals this season.

My kids have jokingly asked us to do the same... they're really just kidding because they know there's no way.

But I don't GET IT!!!!! Someone explain to me what the heck is up with paying your kid to do well at a sport????

Is this an isolated thing here in my area, or have you heard of such a thing around you, too?


I don't know about it here, but I do want to comment.

My parents didn't believe in allowances or rewarding us with money. If you needed something, and it was a reasonable something, you got it. Luxuries were few and far between, but every once in a while we'd get something. We always got lots of Christmas & birthday presents.

There were kids who were given money for every "A" on their report cards. My parents would have gone bankrupt with me!!

The only time we were given money was for doing chores for them (not our chores, but washing the car, gardening, etc.). We would get 50 cents each for washing the car.

kiss

PS: Obviously, I am not in favor of rewarding children with money.
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Mystery McMysteryface
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And what the heck is TTAM stand for?
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JessA
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EgorjLileli wrote:
And what the heck is TTAM stand for?


I'm stealing that from Erak: Things That Annoyed Me!


EgorjLileli wrote:


PS: Obviously, I am not in favor of rewarding children with money.


Same here. We don't do allowances for the reasons you said, altho this is more my husband's insistence. I think a small weekly allowance could be a good way to learn to manage money.

But I also object to the Reward/Punishment model of parenting. Life has its own rewards and punishments without making up artificial ones.

That doesn't mean that my kids haven't been punished or disciplined. I just don't like the tit for tat punishments that seem artificial and not related at all to what's going on.

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Phil Alberg
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It seems to me that rewarding sporting objectives with monetary gifts only serves to promote a selfish style of play and a win at any cost mentality, I don't like either of these traits. I am more concerned whether my child is having fun while participating in a sport.

We do reward our children for good report cards, but like MMB we don't give out allowances, but rather accede to some requests so long as they're reasonable. We also give them a little cash if they do something special around the house, such as washing the cars or mowing the lawn.
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Bear Gordon
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In softball tryouts last week my daughter nearly took the head off her coach when she hit the ball. I told her I would give her ten bucks if she could do it again. Does that count?
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JessA
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Spielfreak wrote:
It seems to me that rewarding sporting objectives with monetary gifts only serves to promote a selfish style of play and a win at any cost mentality, I don't like either of these traits. I am more concerned whether my child is having fun while participating in a sport.

We do reward our children for good report cards, but like MMB we don't give out allowances, but rather accede to some requests so long as they're reasonable. We also give them a little cash if they do something special around the house, such as washing the cars or mowing the lawn.


Well, I guess we do reward our kids when I think about it. But we make it more of a surprise rather than have them expecting payment for doing well. And we do pay them for doing big jobs around the house like vacuuming the van.

Re the Sports:
I think, too, how much worse you'd feel if you had a bad game. Not only do you feel bad for blowing a big play, but you're also not going to get any money from mom and dad.
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Billy McBoatface
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Because, you know, the kids wouldn't want to score goals unless you paid them to do it, right?

Yeah, I'm with everybody else. This is just stupid.

And I was sort of relieved when my daughter refused to join a soccer team. All her friends did, and my wife and I asked her several times if she wanted to, but she just wouldn't do it. I *HATED* little league soccer and baseball when I was a kid, but my parents made me play anyway...well, it was nice to see my daughter felt the same way.

(But we do require her to do something athletic, so she did gymnastics, but now it looks like she will switch to swimming.)
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Mystery McMysteryface
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Jatoha wrote:
EgorjLileli wrote:
And what the heck is TTAM stand for?


I'm stealing that from Erak: Things That Annoyed Me!
Wow!! Cool!!

jatoha wrote:

Same here. We don't do allowances for the reasons you said, altho this is more my husband's insistence. I think a small weekly allowance could be a good way to learn to manage money.
This is always the reason given, however, I've yet to see it be true. My siblings and I are fantastic money managers; maybe because we had to learn to survive without always having a $20 in our wallets! (Well, it would actually be more like a $5.00 back then!)
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Joe Gola
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The whole thing is idiotic. It's much more effective to give them beatings when they don't score a goal.
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Hammock Backpacker
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Wow...that's whacked. We don't give allowances either...per se. We're currently operating under a scheme that we're hoping will exercise those money management muscles. Basically we pay them an amount at the beginning of every month (yes...you could argue it's an allowance). However, the caveat is that we won't give them more money throughout the month for other things. In addition, any expenses we expect them to pay for comes out of their monthly allotment up front.

For example, my daughter "pays" for her cell phone by reducing her allotment.

So, gifts for a friend's birthday, movies, random trips to Chipotle or Panera with friends (both within walking distance from our house), lunches at school because you didn't want to take something from home, or whatever...we don't pay for that. We gave you money...you manage it.

It seems to be working pretty well so far and it's not a complicated scheme of tracking much of anything.

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Chris Tannhauser
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Whoa, whoa, whoa—slow down. How else are we going to program them to spend their lives in jobs they hate? If not for money, then what? The 'good feeling that comes from a job well done?' Please.
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Old & Chaotic Evil Bob
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Gola wrote:
The whole thing is idiotic. It's much more effective to give them beatings when they don't score a goal.


sad truth is there a few A-hole parents in this group soblue

the whole kids sports scene has become twisted in so many ways soblue

with parents being the main cause of the problems and twisted goals

the good parents & coaches in various sports are being overwhelmed by the jerks

my boys played baseball and they had their share of good and bad
I never allowed them to play football, because that program was run and managed by most of the worst parents from the baseball program
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col_w
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There are also the parents that promise their kids $ / £ for good grades, rather than trying to instil a good work ethic in them.
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Dave Kudzma
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My parents never rewarded me for achieving specific goals, only for trying my best; win, lose, or draw.
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Dave Kudzma
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Gola wrote:
The whole thing is idiotic. It's much more effective to give them beatings when they don't score a goal.


That reminds me of a favorite saying:

The beatings will continue until morale improves!
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Erik D
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Growing up, my parents gave me money for good grades, but fined me for bad grades. All that resulted in was me being happy if I broke even.

Love the [TTAM] tag!
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Samuel Sol
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Jatoha wrote:
But I don't GET IT!!!!! Someone explain to me what the heck is up with paying your kid to do well at a sport????


See, its bad to force your kid to do anything they don't like, so you reward them.
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Bear Gordon
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I also pay my kids to write random crap in Chit Chat.
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