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Subject: Everyone is a winner! rss

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Nate Walker
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The other night after dinner I sat down to another great game of My First Carcassonne with my wife and our 3 year old daughter. We always have a fun time with this game but the little girl likes to "help" us close our roads instead of closing her own. All part of the fun for her. The problem with her strategy is that it obviously makes it difficult for her to win.

We got down to only one tile remaining with myself and my wife holding 1 meeple each and the kid holding 2. It was my turn and she realized the hopelessness of the situation. The lower lip curled down a bit into the start of a frown...the eyes got a bit moister..."oh crap" I thought.

I picked up the final tile. Could it be? The perfect tile. I placed the tile and closed a road which held 1 yellow (me), 1 green (wife), and 2 red (daughter). A 3-way tie! We all win...high fives all around.

Dad saves the day again!
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Scott Pizio
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That's it turn in your Defeats Children without Mercy microbadge.
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Nate Walker
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spizio wrote:
That's it turn in your Defeats Children without Mercy microbadge.


I know...and I bought that microbadge moments before I posted this thread.

I guess I shouldn't be called "hatemachine" either.
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Scott Pizio
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I never really got the everyone's a winner there are no losers attitude. It is better to learn that there are losers as a child doing inconsequential things than as an adult.

You can be a hater if you want, it just seems to be you hate making small children cry.
 
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Nate Walker
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I never let her win...this was an isolated incident. She was on the verge of tears...so yes, I hate to see her cry. She usually doesn't get upset if she loses.

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Rebekah B
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Sometimes in our house, teaching a lesson takes a backseat to making sure everybody's enjoying the game (which teaches a lesson in its own right). As a parent, I just have to be able to read the situation to figure out which is more appropriate. Nice job.

Edit: I realized afterwards that this probably came off snarkier than I had intended, so I apologize. I only meant to make the point that there are a lot of possible lessons kids take away from games, and it doesn't always have to be that life is hard and they're often going to lose.
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It's just a ride...
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Teaching and playing games with kids means that everyone's a winner anyway, regardless of the result.
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Scott Pizio
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hatemachine wrote:
I never let her win...this was an isolated incident. She was on the verge of tears...so yes, I hate to see her cry. She usually doesn't get upset if she loses.



I understand it was happy coincidence in this case. Sorry if I seemed to be applying the described attitude to you, that wasn't my intent. I just think the let's give everyone a trophy you are all winners attitude is just wrong.
 
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Rebekah, great point: sometimes making sure that everyone has fun *is* the lesson. Certainly at age 3, "helping others" and "following the rules" are very valuable lessons.

"Not everyone can win, all the time" can wait!
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James Cheevers
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We're undergoing some game related changes in the family.

Christian (12), who I've always taken the 'never LET him win' approach, has changed a bit emotionally. He's just hit 12 and is starting his various changes. So I'm easing up on him a little bit. I still play as normal but if he's lost the last couple of games and he seems to be heading that way again, I'll throttle back to keep it competitive.

Andrew (10), who has a behaviour disorder, has always previously wanted to play co-op games. He's never minded losing as part of a team. However, he has recently discovered 'Risk 2210', 'Acquire' & 'Stone Age'. He is also eyeing up my 1st Edition 'Space Hulk'. He is comfortable with the concept of playing and losing now.

Amy (7) has graduated onto 'Ticket To Ride' & 'Zooloretto' but I try to keep it fun for her rather than competitive. She is usually just happy to be playing and doesn't throw a tantrum like we had to deal with previously.

You just have to be aware of how the children are developing and adapt the games to them.
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Christopher
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sq498 wrote:
As a parent, I just have to be able to read the situation to figure out which is more appropriate.


Isn't that the essence of raising kids anyway?
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