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Subject: I'd post this in RSP but... rss

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That place if rife with know-it-alls, Commies, Rednecks clinging to their bibles and clutching their AK47's to their man-boobs and it's not as if they want to read anything that they can't immediately rush off to Google and dispute.

So I thought you guys might appreciate this better. You see, I posted a thread in RSP earlier and was roundly dissed for failing to be funny. More on that later.

It all started earlier today when I read that Kris Kristofferson had a new CD out. Now I'm not sure you young people understand Kris, but he remains one of the true icons of the musical creative pool that freed a generation from their musical chains. In addition to that, he's old.

So naturally I wanted to see if he sucked as much as most old rockers who did copious amounts of dope and booze in the 60's sound. And I found that his newest song/CD is titled - Closer to the Bone.

Here's a video if you're so inclined:



Hmmm. Not bad. And ol' Kris is holding up well. If you've seen what Levon Helm looks like now you'll know what I mean when I say Kristofferson looks positively radiant.

But something about the song bothered me. I finally figured out what. It's the title. Now, to be sure, I'm no spring chicken, but I'm just old enough to have appreciated many of the fine musical talents from before my time... and right up to it. And I just knew there had been another song called 'Closer to the Bone". Finally, my brain broke it's vapor lock and Louis Prima popped into my thoughts. Damn! That's right! Prima already did "Closer to the Bone"... in his superb "hep cat" jazzy way. Here's a listen to Louis' older song of the same name:



Whoa. I forgot how sexist ol' Louis was. That song was an affront to pleasingly plump women everywhere. Not that it mattered back then because pretty much everything was an affront to all women. So I thought about it for a moment... cause I think Louis Prima and his enduring sidekick Keely Smith were super-duper.

Anyway, as I was dancing around my hovel, busting a few moves to Louis, I remembered that he had indeed favored heavy-set women as well. Musically that is. So he wasn't all about hooking up with some stick-gal suffering from perpetual PMS. A minute later I was dancin' again to Louis' tribute to the healthier set:




Well, then. That ought to make fat chicks feel better about themselves eh?

Okay, okay. Louis was a pig. All men are pigs, right? And thinking about men who insult women in piggish fashion jarred loose a frightening image of David Lee Roth. Ouch. Now there is a pig eh? But hey... hold on a moment. The water is running deeper here than is obvious at first glance. Didn't David Lee hijack an old Prima song and turn it into an 80's anthem to male piggishness? Why yes, yes he did:




That bastard! He ruined this Prima classic:




Sorry about the audio/visual mismatch... just imagine you're watching a dubbed Kung Fu film from the 70's. Roth is obviously a poser. He fooled an entire generation into believing he had talent when in reality, he was just borrowing real talent. Not to mention, isn't he like gay? Or maybe bi or transgendered or neutered or something?

Now where was I? Oh yeah... the thing that got the RSP crowd all grumpy. I merely asked them to take a test along the lines of many posted here in Chit Chat where you answer a few questions and discover your real "stripper" name or some such. Quizzes to find your real "alternate" name are popular on Facebook, MySpace, Chit Chat and in elementary schools nationwide.

Here's the test:

Answer the simple questions and discover your real "douchebag" name.

I'm telling you, most of those RSP guys did not find it funny at all. What a bunch of sour pusses.

So... how did you spend the minutes today between 1:42pm and 2:37pm? You now know how I did.
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This is entirely too much effort for chit chit.

//Boobies.
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MWChapel wrote:
This is entirely too much effort for chit chit.

//Boobies.


Nah. Took me about 7 minutes while waiting for my coffee to brew. All I had to edit was the thread title.

//Big Boobies

*edit*

Oh wait! You meant too much effort for you. Sure, I understand that Chapel. Carry on.
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SAKURA in KYOTO 2018 Back to Kansai
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Of course, you all know Louis Prima's big hit...



The part was actually written for him.

I absolutely adore Keely Smith's version of Stardust. But I can't find that.

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Diane Close
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We're on to you, Tripp!

"I'd put this in Chit Chat, but....
I'm afraid the wussies over there would throw some sort of conniption fit."


Trying to play one forum against the other is just ... shake

And of course your douchebag name would be the same as your real one -- that's what being a douchebag is all about! It's only when you reach the level of D-bag^2 that you get to have nicknames.
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Uh... bacon?


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Douchebag Name Generator wrote:
Your douchebag name is...

Lee




Um, that's my real name.

Douchebag.
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If Actions Speak Louder Than Words, Then Actions x2 Speak Louder Than Actions
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Ah, DW...

You had me at Louis and Keely.
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DWTripp wrote:

Now where was I? Oh yeah... the thing that got the RSP crowd all grumpy. I merely asked them to take a test along the lines of many posted here in Chit Chat where you answer a few questions and discover your real "stripper" name or some such. Quizzes to find your real "alternate" name are popular on Facebook, MySpace, Chit Chat and in elementary schools nationwide.

Here's the test:

Answer the simple questions and discover your real "douchebag" name.

I'm telling you, most of those RSP guys did not find it funny at all. What a bunch of sour pusses.

So... how did you spend the minutes today between 1:42pm and 2:37pm? You now know how I did.


Hmmm... my douchebag name came up DW Tripp. Who knew?!

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Kafka wrote:
DWTripp wrote:

Now where was I? Oh yeah... the thing that got the RSP crowd all grumpy. I merely asked them to take a test along the lines of many posted here in Chit Chat where you answer a few questions and discover your real "stripper" name or some such. Quizzes to find your real "alternate" name are popular on Facebook, MySpace, Chit Chat and in elementary schools nationwide.

Here's the test:

Answer the simple questions and discover your real "douchebag" name.

I'm telling you, most of those RSP guys did not find it funny at all. What a bunch of sour pusses.

So... how did you spend the minutes today between 1:42pm and 2:37pm? You now know how I did.



Hmmm... my douchebag name came up DW Tripp. Who knew?!



Jeff... you need to fork over royalties to John for this one.

But then you knew that, right? I thumbed it in both forums by the way cause I was curious who would be the first to catch the straight line and bag me with the punch.
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DWTripp wrote:
Kafka wrote:
DWTripp wrote:

Now where was I? Oh yeah... the thing that got the RSP crowd all grumpy. I merely asked them to take a test along the lines of many posted here in Chit Chat where you answer a few questions and discover your real "stripper" name or some such. Quizzes to find your real "alternate" name are popular on Facebook, MySpace, Chit Chat and in elementary schools nationwide.

Here's the test:

Answer the simple questions and discover your real "douchebag" name.

I'm telling you, most of those RSP guys did not find it funny at all. What a bunch of sour pusses.

So... how did you spend the minutes today between 1:42pm and 2:37pm? You now know how I did.



Hmmm... my douchebag name came up DW Tripp. Who knew?!



Jeff... you need to fork over royalties to John for this one.

But then you knew that, right? I thumbed it in both forums by the way cause I was curious who would be the first to catch the straight line and bag me with the punch.


Yeah that's a risk I took when I posted since I didn't want to actually take the time to read the original thread. Such is life.

However, anyone who like Kris Kristofferson can't be all bad and I did enjoy the video.
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EYE of NiGHT wrote:

I absolutely adore Keely Smith's version of Stardust. But I can't find that.


Have you checked out Keely's Wizard Sleeve?
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Man, if I look as good as Kristofferson when I'm 70+ years old, I'll be pretty happy.

And the Louis Prima stuff is great. Remember: Back then being offensive to women was funny. It's the gangsta rap of your grandparents (or great-grandparents for some of the folks here)!
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wmshub wrote:
Man, if I look as good as Kristofferson when I'm 70+ years old, I'll be pretty happy.


Truth.

Quote:
And the Louis Prima stuff is great. Remember: Back then being offensive to women was funny. It's the gangsta rap of your grandparents (or great-grandparents for some of the folks here)!


I never thought of it that way. That's a really good observation.
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DWTripp wrote:
I'm telling you, most of those RSP guys did not find it funny at all. What a bunch of sour pusses.


I am not one of the sour pusses... I think you are funny.

This is a Louis Prima original but Benny Goodman and Gene Krupa made it famous and made it their own.



I'd put Kris Kristofferson in the same category as David Lee Roth... different genre, era and sound but same caliber... though Kris is a better actor than Roth if that is anything, but that ended with Big Top Pee-wee... stuff since has been pretty lame with the exception of Lone Star.
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sisteray wrote:
EYE of NiGHT wrote:

I absolutely adore Keely Smith's version of Stardust. But I can't find that.


Have you checked out Keely's Wizard Sleeve?


I have Lullaby Of The Leaves and I'll Never Smile Again from a compilation, but not the album. Pulls out to do list - buy more Keely Smith CDs.
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My douchebag name is Justin.

Sigh.

At least I'm in good company.


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Thanks for the morning wake-up with Louis Prima. I think he's great.

I'm not even remotely interested in participating in the douchebag derailment.

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EYE of NiGHT wrote:
sisteray wrote:
EYE of NiGHT wrote:

I absolutely adore Keely Smith's version of Stardust. But I can't find that.


Have you checked out Keely's Wizard Sleeve?


I have Lullaby Of The Leaves and I'll Never Smile Again from a compilation, but not the album. Pulls out to do list - buy more Keely Smith CDs.


I fear that you missed my joke...
 
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