Sherwood 925
United States
Concord
California
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"A ninja? Now I've seen it all," Gordo thought to himself. He'd seen people crack when the plague hit -- panic attacks, shock, denial. But a ninja? It occurred to him that with the fall of civilization, some survivors would use the opportunity to RPG full-time. Many turned to crime or hedonism. Others to gaming.


And so a ninja joined Gordo, Slinky, and their childhood friend Lo. The ninja called himself Scorpion. Yup, like Mortal Kombat. Slinky found him throwing ninja stars at a tree near their woodland camp and convinced him to join the crew.

The rag-tag group of reluctant survivalists were on a re-supply mission. It was nothing like Red Dawn. There was no glory in raiding canned beans and toilet paper. They scoped out a house from the tree line. They would quickly and quietly gather supplies and hole themselves up against the inevitable zombie mob. Zombies had short memories, so all the crew had to do was wait until the mob's attention turned elsewhere then slip back into the woods. They were safe there. What was left of the zombie brain could not make sense of the terrain.


The four planned on splitting up in pairs to help gather supplies and watch each other's backs -- Gordo with Lo and Slinky with Scorpion. As the group's cook, Gordo kept a grill with him wherever he went. With the plague, a good meal was one of few comforts. His real name was Gordon, but the other kids quickly re-named him once he arrived at the group home years ago. Gordo, Gordito, Gord The Hoard. The past seemed like a whole other reality now.

Gordo hoped that Scorpion -- delusional or not -- would benefit the group. Ninjas were supposed to be silent and deadly, right? But once the quartet's plan for storming the house was underway, the ninja split from his partner, Slinky, and sprinted solo out across the yard. "It's the ninja way," Gordo supposed.

But the zombies caught the ninja's scent immediately. The zombies in the area were fascinating. The plague hit this town during the height of a three-day Insane Clown Posse festival. Can you imagine a stadium packed with rap fans dressed in clown suits turning rabid during a show? It happened here. Rumor was that the zombie clowns gathered the gnawed femur bones of their victims and held the fleshy rears upward as if they were balloons. Upon re-telling this rumor, Lo quipped to his crew, "Yeah, they call it 'The Rump Shaker!'"

The three old friends stuck to their original plan of quickly searching the house then using diversion to help search the car and garage, hopefully with the help of new weapons. When the plague hit, there was a rush on hunting rifles. It wasn't uncommon to find military-grade weaponry stashed in wealthier neighborhoods.


The plan at the house was going well, the three searched for supplies and boarded up the doors and windows. The ninja did well, too, quickly searching the garage, then heading out to the car. Slinky thought this was too much for one guy and moved to help. But the mob grew quickly and fixed on the ninja. Scorpion fancied himself as a level-12 ninja. He convinced himself that he could scoot up right next to a zombie and, poof, disappear. He was wrong. The zombies clobbered him. He was now a level-1 zombie for real.


Things started to go wrong at the house. Lo's futile search for weapons emboldened the zombies, who were now beginning to enter the house. Slinky volunteered to be the chase bunny and venture out to search the car. Gordo boarded up the doors behind him.


Scorpion was at least successful in getting the mob to gather in a big mass. Slinky could easily move around them as they stumbled over each other to change direction. It reminded him of the old video game Robotron. Slinky lead most of the zombies away from the house and quickly searched the car for supplies.


Events back at the house improved. Lo found the cellar entrance. Gordo found an assault rifle and blasted away between barricading the remaining windows. There were still enough zombies in the house to make maneuvering tricky. Gordo yelled at Lo to stay in the cellar, and that, "no matter what, do not keep looking for weapons!" Gordo caught a glimpse of Slinky at the opposite end of the yard through the side yard door. He was being chased by a dozen or so zombies.

"Get in here dawg," Gordo yelled. "We're done!"

"I'm right there, broham!"


Suddenly, a zombie appeared right next to Slinky. The ever-cool Slinky was impossible to startle, but seeing this ghoulish clown with its intestines falling out would scar him. It wasn't so much the gore, but that it seemed the zombie wanted Slinky's sneakers more than anything. They were limited edition Nikes. Slinky booked into the house and quickly barricaded the door behind him. Gordo blasted away the last of the indoor zombies.


The two old pals were about to give each other high-fives and fire up Gordo's grill when the zombies burst through the door. It wasn't over yet. They quickly retreated into the cellar. The zombies could not reach them there. The three buddies wouldn't have the comfort of resting on the beds upstairs, but at least they survived. The cold hard floors would do. Gordo fired up the grill. They poured their cups for the fallen ninja.


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Mike Bourgeois
Canada
Victoria
British Columbia
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ummm, ok... one of the stranger Zombie Plague sessions I've read... sounded fun though. Thanks for the post.
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Roberta Taylor
Canada
Edmonton
Alberta
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Pure Awesome!
 
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Geoff Burkman
United States
Kettering
Ohio
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Excellent session report!
 
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Mark Robinson
England
Lancashire
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Excellent use of the Zombie clowns from ZOMBIES!!! 7 and the other figures are Homies correct?

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Sherwood 925
United States
Concord
California
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Thanks, all, for the thumbs, tips, and comments! The game cards inspired me to add (in a good way) some random absurdity to the game.

Diff: Good eye on the zombie clowns and, yes, the other figures are Homies. Stuff you'd find at the gumball machines... Other candidates that day were Marvel superheroes, space aliens, and Pooh and Dora characters.
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