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Subject: Getting married... help me with my final board game order rss

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Josh P.
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So I am getting married on March 20 and my wife-to-be and I have agreed on putting ourselves on a tight moderate allowance (i.e. We will have a set amount of extra money for entertainment set aside from every paycheck, but we are by no means struggling. We just want to be able to buy a house one day). This means my manic and wanton board game purchases will soon come to an end. I'm running out of shelf space anyway, so this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I want my final pre-marriage board game purchase to be something good. So...

Should I gamble on a pre-order of Horus Heresy?
Is anyone accepting pre-orders for Catacombs, because I can't find it on Coolstuffinc or Boardsandbits?
Do I need Imperial 2030 if I already have Imperial?
What do you think of Summoner Wars?
Is the Agricola: Farmers of the Moor expansion worth the money?
Are there other titles I don't already own that you feel I desperately need?

Edit: Clarified budget constraints.
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Jage
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I, also, am getting married, and I have put myself on a forced budget...
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Rick Weckermann
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At first glance i see no Columbia games in your collection. They have a super 3 pack sale on 3 games for $150, and $5 shipping. Even if you only get one game the $5.00 shipping still applies. If offer is over, they are so great all you have to do is email them and i am sure they will extend offer. Personally i had won some games on ebay, the offer they had was expiring, so i emailed them that i wanted to receive the games i had won so i could see what parts may be needed before i ordered Richard III: The Wars of the Roses. Let them know other extra parts for games my friend and i had already were needed. They were very flexible and quickly replied with a no problem, email me when your ready.
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Jim McMahon
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I can't answer many of your questions, but I can say that Summoner Wars is awesome! Get both of the starter sets and you'll have a great 2-4 player game with lots of variety.
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Marcus Lau
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I remember the time I got married. Wife complained I had too many games. Then, 6 months after we got married, she banned me from getting new games. So, I bought used games. 4 months down the road, she forbid me from getting any games of any kind (and that includes games for our kids).

So, I did what most of us would do, I started to smuggle games into the game cabinet while she wasn't around. Luck ran out after a year. She found out and made me sell a bunch of games.

But.. after that, she gave in and told me to get only stuff that she would play. And I did. So, now, it's a win-win. I get to buy a game a month and she would pick and sell my old games for me when I accumulated too many.

Instead of picking your last purchase, why don't you negotiate with your wife. Tell her a game a month and if there are too many, she has a free hand in selling them. But she will have to consult you first before selling them.

Works better that way. Just my two cents.
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Jason K
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I looked through your collection, and noticed that the only game in the top 10 that you don't already own is Twilight Struggle. Is there a reason why you didn't get it? Since it's a two-player game, my first reaction is that it might be suited for a married couple, since she'll probably be your main gaming partner for the rest of your life, anyway.

Though, of course, if you feel that it's something she won't enjoy, then by all means, stay away.
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Gudjon Torfi Sigurdsson
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AsthmaticZero wrote:
Do people in real life actually let their husbands/wives "tell" them that they can't do something. The worst s/he should have the power to do is to make you understand s/he may not be happy with what you're doing, but s/he can't ban you from doing it.

If my girlfriend (and I hope someday-wife) ever forbid me from doing something, that would be the end of that.


Yes. My gf has told me not to have an affair. Can't understand why.
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Michael Hines
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Agricola: Farmers of the Moor is a really good expansion. It complicates the game in such a way that your original strategies will need to be adjusted - you no longer want to grab a 4 or 5room wooden hut as soon as you can because you have to heat it. It makes you decide whether you would rather pay a few fuel extra each harvest or renovate sooner to offset those costs. I really enjoy it, but to some it may complicate the game a little too much. I really enjoy expansions and adjusting my gameplay on the fly - it adds to the replayablity of each game.
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Eric Jome
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Xelforp wrote:
Yes. My gf has told me not to have an affair. Can't understand why.


You are supposed to avoid having an affair because you are happy in your marriage, not because rules tell you not to have an affair.

If the only things holding a person back from doing evil are rules and punishments, that person cannot be considered a good person.
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Lacombe
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cosine wrote:
Xelforp wrote:
Yes. My gf has told me not to have an affair. Can't understand why.


You are supposed to avoid having an affair because you are happy in your marriage, not because rules tell you not to have an affair.

If the only things holding a person back from doing evil are rules and punishments, that person cannot be considered a good person.


But, likewise, a fair-weather friend is no friend at all, and a person who only is faithful because they are happy, but might be unfaithful if they become unhappy--rules be damned--can also not be considered a good person. The rule that tells you not to have an affair exists to keep you happy in your marriage. People don't invent rules just to have an excuse to lord themselves over others and mete out punishment to their enemies, but because rules are a good way to organize a peaceful and happy cooperation between individual human beings with widely varying goals, beliefs, values, and motivations.
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Chad Martinell
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AsthmaticZero wrote:
Do people in real life actually let their husbands/wives "tell" them that they can't do something. The worst s/he should have the power to do is to make you understand s/he may not be happy with what you're doing, but s/he can't ban you from doing it.

If my girlfriend (and I hope someday-wife) ever forbid me from doing something, that would be the end of that.


I don't know that it is quite like that. When you are married you have to take into account not only your own wants and needs, but those of your spouse and family. You need many things when you get married, and games, sadly, are fairly frivolous... especially when you already have many of them.

Before I was married I lived solely for myself, and I bought what I pleased when I pleased, and I was in a massive amount of debt. Now that I am married I still have the impulse to buy things, but I think twice about it. I've never been banned from buying anything, just like I would never ban my wife from buying anything. We have a not-very-strict budget and allowance, and if I save my money I can buy whatever I like with it. If there is something I really want, but can't get quite yet, then I talk to my wife about it, and more times than not, I get it.

Here's a good example. After I played Carcasonne (before I even knew my wife) with a friend I wanted to get it, but I didn't want just the basic set... I wanted it ALL! So I went on ebay and a couple of online stores and ordered everything Carcasonne. Well over $100 later I had it all and enjoyed it. If I had been married I would have probably gotten just the base game and still been happy.

Fast forward to 6 months ago and I had been drooling over Pitch Car for months, and I picked it up and looked sad every time we were in a game store. She never bit, and even if she had, I wouldn't have gotten it, because it was just too expensive of a game. I went another route and sold off a bunch of Magic cards, using the proceeds from that to include Pitch Car in my next game order.

The point is just that when you are married you can no longer think of yourself above her or your family. You have to consider the family dynamic, and if it is something that makes her unhappy, then for the sake of the marriage, it may behoove you to slow down your game purchases for a while.

None of what I've talked about has really had to do with money, but if money is tight (regardless of being married or single,) then you shouldn't be buying games. Even in the example above, If I really needed to pay bills, then I would have used the proceeds from the Magic card sales to paay bills rather than buy games... but we're not too bad-off in the debt department these days, so games it was.
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Ted Groth
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If the anticipated budget will really be that tight, then you are better off forgoing this last gasp purchase, because it will always be resented anyway. Better off demonstrating that you are taking the budget seriously by starting early, and then using that to negotiate occasional reasonable purchases going on into the future. You'll end up with more games in the long run, and each will be better considered, and thoroughly researched, and therefore more satisfying.

I can't comment on any of the games you are inquiring about. But if you have to ask whether you should get them in a mad rush, then you should wait.

I know I am right, from experience. You know it too, really. Of course I probably wouldn't listen to me either if I was you!

Oh - Congratulations & Best Wishes!
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Eric Jome
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NateStraight wrote:
The rule that tells you not to have an affair exists to keep you happy in your marriage.


No, there is no rule. There is a lesson. The lesson is, if you have an affair, it will ruin your marriage. We teach the lesson so that a person does not have to learn painful things by experience. When you are told not to have an affair, it is not "I command you not to have an affair.", but rather "I advise you not to have an affair, as the benefits will likely not outweigh the costs."

And of course, on the subject of affairs, that is perpetually a matter of some debate for some people.

In this instance, your spouse would say something like this perhaps;

"I would like to have a nice wedding ceremony and reception. That is expensive. Could we work together to save for it? I think one good contribution you could make would be to refrain from buying games for awhile."

Which you'd probably agree with.
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Brian Tanner
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If you want good 2 player games, I'd suggest Memoir '44 or BattleLore if you are interested in some very light war gaming.
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Lacombe
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cosine wrote:
NateStraight wrote:
The rule that tells you not to have an affair exists to keep you happy in your marriage.


No, there is no rule. There is a lesson. The lesson is, if you have an affair, it will ruin your marriage. We teach the lesson so that a person does not have to learn painful things by experience. When you are told not to have an affair, it is not "I command you not to have an affair.", but rather "I advise you not to have an affair, as the benefits will likely not outweigh the costs."


I differ with you greatly on the subject of both the content and the context of rules / morality / "teachable moments" within the scope of human relationships, but to belabor the point would probably push this discussion into a completely disparate direction. If you want a good take on my views, read the first chapter of Lewis' Mere Christianity or his expansion of similar topics in The Abolition of Man. In short, I think we do make such commands, at least in our implicit expectations of other person's behavior and our aspirations for our own behavior, if not in our explicit social contracts [wedding vows, for instance].
 
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Steve Bauer
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cosine wrote:
NateStraight wrote:
The rule that tells you not to have an affair exists to keep you happy in your marriage.


No, there is no rule. There is a lesson. The lesson is, if you have an affair, it will ruin your marriage. We teach the lesson so that a person does not have to learn painful things by experience. When you are told not to have an affair, it is not "I command you not to have an affair.", but rather "I advise you not to have an affair, as the benefits will likely not outweigh the costs."

And of course, on the subject of affairs, that is perpetually a matter of some debate for some people.

In this instance, your spouse would say something like this perhaps;

"I would like to have a nice wedding ceremony and reception. That is expensive. Could we work together to save for it? I think one good contribution you could make would be to refrain from buying games for awhile."

Which you'd probably agree with.


I don't know about Wisconsin but in Arizona it is not only a rule, it is a law:
Arizona Revised Statutes §13-1408:
A. A married person who has sexual intercourse with another than his or her spouse, and an unmarried person who has sexual intercourse with a married person not his or her spouse, commits adultery and is guilty of a class 3 misdemeanor. When the act is committed between parties only one of whom is married, both shall be punished.

B. No prosecution for adultery shall be commenced except upon complaint of the husband or wife.

I doubt it would be enforced but still.


 
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Eric Jome
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sbauer9 wrote:
I don't know about Wisconsin but in Arizona it is not only a rule, it is a law...


Laws exist not as a set of instructions for the people, but as a tool for managing society. The problem arises that if some people follow the rules and some people do not follow the rules, this creates social discord and strife. To resolve that issue, it is a good idea to clearly spell out what the rules are in law.

Interesting side note; when the rules are broken, do you choose reparations or revenge as the proper response? Much of the law seems to be focused on revenge - punishing the guilty. Many have made the case over the years that this system does not actually make anything better after the fact. Instead, a system based on reparations might be better...

And this whole thing is on greased toboggan careening toward the RSP forums.
 
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Josh P.
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Tradewinds Ted wrote:
If the anticipated budget will really be that tight, then you are better off forgoing this last gasp purchase, because it will always be resented anyway. Better off demonstrating that you are taking the budget seriously by starting early

Fortunately, the budget is not THAT tight. I only said tight because it is the first time I have had a budget. But we did agree we could both do some last minute mad spending as long as the money came out of our individual checking accounts (i.e. we don't want to start a marriage with any debts).

AsthmaticZero wrote:
Do people in real life actually let their husbands/wives "tell" them that they can't do something.

There's no "telling" here. It's an agreement. If I don't control my board game purchases then she won't control her craft purchases at Michael's and JoAnn's. It's best for both of us, as we both have a tendancy to go out of control with spending. Board games are not my only addiction - there's also blu-ray movies, video games, books, and gadgets... Speaking of which, it's too bad the iPad 3G comes out after the wedding.

taiwanite wrote:
I looked through your collection, and noticed that the only game in the top 10 that you don't already own is Twilight Struggle.

Good point. Never paid too much mind to the ratings and that one slipped past me. I'll take a look at it. Thanks.

R3sp4wN wrote:
Agricola: Farmers of the Moor is a really good expansion. It complicates the game in such a way that your original strategies will need to be adjusted - you no longer want to grab a 4 or 5room wooden hut as soon as you can because you have to heat it. It makes you decide whether you would rather pay a few fuel extra each harvest or renovate sooner to offset those costs. I really enjoy it, but to some it may complicate the game a little too much. I really enjoy expansions and adjusting my gameplay on the fly - it adds to the replayablity of each game.

That's exactly the info I was looking for. You just elevated it from a consideration to a must buy. Thanks.



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Eric Jome
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NateStraight wrote:
I think we do make such commands, at least in our implicit expectations of other person's behavior and our aspirations for our own behavior, if not in our explicit social contracts [wedding vows, for instance].


Framing it as a request or a command is just a tool to help convey the seriousness of the situation. The expectations are nearly identical, the consequences so too.

"Please don't eat all the cookies."

"Don't eat all the cookies."

"If you eat all the cookies, I will punish you."

In each, we ask the same thing, but differ our delivery to help convey our full meaning.
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Steve Bauer
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Tradewinds Ted wrote:
If the anticipated budget will really be that tight, then you are better off forgoing this last gasp purchase, because it will always be resented anyway. Better off demonstrating that you are taking the budget seriously by starting early, and then using that to negotiate occasional reasonable purchases going on into the future. You'll end up with more games in the long run, and each will be better considered, and thoroughly researched, and therefore more satisfying...


This would be my advise also. I know the cold turkey approach would never work for me and budgeting an amount for games seems like the only workable approach. Negotiating for gaming time has always been far more of an issue in my marriage than gaming budget.
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Slev Sleddeddan
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What part of "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" don't you understand?
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On the one hand I've never understood when people say "my partner has banned me from buying games".

I mean, We only have a limited budget, so I don't buy many games these days, but similarly, I'm not banned. My fiancée and I have our moneys to buy what we will, our exact expenditure, beyond household bills, are up to us. We're modern about it.

Similarly, in general, we don't tell each other what to do. We discuss the matter and reach an accommodation. It's all communication.


That said, I can understand an intervention of "we can't afford/don't have space for the game right now, please refrain, which would be a fair exchange. Similarly, requesting a reduction in a hobby or pastime that takes up an undue amount of time/attention to the detriment of the relationship would be fair.


However, preventing the other party form carrying out a non-destructive pastime would be wrong. You're supposed to be with a person for who they are and that would include such activities.


Beyond all of that, if I where the OP, I'd point out that I have set aside an envelope of moneys to buy a game with after the budget kicks in. I will add small change to this envelope as I have it spare and save up that way, allowing the purchase of a couple of select games a year without serious impact on the tight budget.
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Steve Bauer
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cosine wrote:
sbauer9 wrote:
I don't know about Wisconsin but in Arizona it is not only a rule, it is a law...


Laws exist not as a set of instructions for the people, but as a tool for managing society. ...


Tell that to the cop the next time you are pulled over.
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Slev Sleddeddan
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cosine wrote:
Laws exist not as a set of instructions for the people, but as a tool for managing society. The problem arises that if some people follow the rules and some people do not follow the rules, this creates social discord and strife. To resolve that issue, it is a good idea to clearly spell out what the rules are in law.


Something I wrote once:

Society grants to each sentient individual absolute freedom, save where the exercise of those freedoms would interdict in the freedoms of others and with the cost that said freedoms must be exercised with responsibility.

To this end, society will make laws of three kinds: 1) to protect people from those who refuse to exercise their freedoms with responsibility (speed limits, public smoking bans, etc.), 2) to protect people from those who would interdict in their freedoms (Murder, theft, wrongful imprisonment, discrimination, etc), 3) to allow individuals to act as a cohesive society (taxes, contract law, economic regulation, etc). all other laws serving no useful purpose shall not be permitted by any reasonable society.
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Eric Jome
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sbauer9 wrote:
Tell that to the cop the next time you are pulled over.


You obviously didn't understand a thing I said.
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Logan Peabody
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So thankful for my wife. She is the one who encouraged me to start painting my mini's for Battlelore...and she makes sure we play games together on a semi-regular basis. We have recently put both ourselves on a budget and I have found it freeing in a way. Rather than ever wanting to sneak in games and stuff in the house I always see the $$$$$s and hesitate. Now with a budget I know how much I can spend and I can research and look at games I want to own then purchase them with no worry.
 
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