All my sins are of omission
The kung fu hippie from Gansta City
"The armadillo had made a New Year's Resolution to get in shape."
"The armadillo recounted to the rabbit and other forest critters how he'd been looking forward to playing as goal keeper in a game of soccer, but ended up having to be the ball!"
"Tommy Turtle told the animals about the soccer game where he lovingly tended goal and where one of the players accidentally stepped in a mound of poop."
"It is said that turtles love soccer, and are particularly good goalies, but what they really enjoy is the possibility of getting shit on their shoes."
"THE TURTLES BEAT THE SALAMANDERS!!! THEY WIN THE CUP!!! HOORAY!!!"
"Don't you just hate it when the only thing on TV is crazy Korean game shows like Reptile Death Match?"