Paul Sommer
Denmark
copenhagen downtown
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Taught my niece(10) and nephew(13) some games over xmas whilst i was visiting .Bought for their family TTR , elfenland and metro , all bought at a good discount as I know full well they might not be played.

TTR went ok , but small girl got burnt a bit (sulky face in a huff) , elfenland went better but small boy got mad when he tied (angry face boy shouting I hate you all!!) and metro was the best except for angry boy again trash talking everyone (girl liked this best depite his macho efforts to trample it , he lost ).

Then PIT which boy didn't really get as he concentrated too much on just getting rid of bull or bear card and not making a set , he lost again.

Nimmt 6 next with 7 people went well enough, took 3 rounds for people to get the game including the slow people ..then girl gets mad (I hate you all!!) and storms off to mum in other room ( tears and such)

Then coloretto which went well until boy taunted the girl too much or was it vicea versa? girl storms off in huff !!!! bad feelings , girl beats boy at scoring anyhow ....boy continues to taunt girl endlessly.

All the games went well enough but the main thing that worried me was that obivously the kids had never really played proper games before with their parents &/or people had let them win (bent the rules so they would win) , games were not played well with my brothers family and it showed.Mum won't play (too much soaps to watch) , dad can't (made himself too busy) , boy ( too dense, agressive , slow, lazy) and girl is thus alone :-(

No game palying ethics at all , fun didn't seem to be important just winning and humilating the other players.

At least the wife and I tried , we will see when we visit again in a year or so , if they have tried the games again.

The overall feeling from the games was , we played but was it fun with all the nasty talk? not really , if they weren't family I wouldn't play again as It wasn't fun.Games played with my old parents were much more fun even though my parents are slowing down mentally.

Does anyone else have these sort of problems or are these kids just warped?

Mmmmmmm
 
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MTG Ninja
Canada
Toronto
Ontario
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mommy probably has them on ritalin
 
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Richard Irving
United States
Salinas
California
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Game playing is a skill.
Game playing etiquette is a skill. It involves paying attention when learning the rules, patience while waiting for ypur turn, good sportsmanship (being both a good loser and good winner), etc. It seems these kids have never really been taught how they are supposed to behave.
 
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Sir Cumference
United States
Unspecified
California
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sportsmanship
I play a lot with a nine year old kid so the travails you described sound pretty familiar. It takes some time to develop the ability to lose gracefully so don't give up. I don't think your young relatives are particular exceptions, either. Couple of things that have helped:

-stress that the first time or two you play a new game is just practice, winning or losing doesn't count, we're just learning rules, strategy, etc..
-try to make sure the young ones win sometimes, especially the first few times you play a given game. Do whatever it takes, they need this positive reinforcement!
-when somebody starts losing it, the best thing to do is make a very quick but not angry comment on how important sportsmanship is, then move on to another game, different activity, etc.
 
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Dan Cavaliere
United States
Littleton
Colorado
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First of all, props to you for trying to play games (besides video games) with these kids - that takes some maturity and patience in itself. Kids need to have games that aren't quick and easy and that take some discipline and patience to do. Obviously these kids need more of that and it is too bad they aren't around you more so they could get a few more doses of it.
I am fortunate enough to have my 7 & 9 year old exposed to a family full of gamers - myself, my wife and her family. We play as adults every weekend and most of the time my wife and I are playing with the kids during the week sometimes when we get a chance. We never forced it on them, but they picked up on the excitement of it. More importantly they are picking up on all the other great things games offer - patience, discipline, thinking, cooperating, sportsmanship, competition, strategy, problem solving, etc. We do own some video games (gameboy, old atari) but I'd say we get equal if not more time with the board games. I see the postive things it is doing for my kids even though we had to go through some whining and fussing at the beginning - hopefully on round two you will be somewhat passed that with your niece/nephews. I think they just need more exposure to what you are trying to give them. Hang in there!
 
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Glenn Ironhat
United States
Syracuse
Utah
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Something that I found to be very useful (more so than I thought it would be) was to explain the probability of actually winning (in simple terms).

I experienced the same problem of upset kids when they lose often. Their ages were 13 and 12 at the time. The specific complaint was they they lose most of the time. So I used a 4 player game as an example and told them that if all the players were equally skilled, each player would only win 25% of the time. The only person that really loses is the player in last place. Since no single player always finished last, the discussion seemed to help a lot.

I don't allow too much trash talk in the house anyway though. A little is ok if it is not personal.


 
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Ken Dozier
United States
Wilson
North Carolina
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Ping Pong
Those kids (and their parents) could use a good dose of Woodshed Ping Pong: take 'em to the woodshed and blister their hind parts with ping pong paddles. devil

There's nothing like good old-fashioned corporal punishment to make a fine, upstanding, well-adjusted gamer.
 
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