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Subject: I want features too! BGG is too hard. rss

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Boise
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Apparently Geeks need features on the Geek. That's why every day there is a new "feature request" thread. Like the one today that suggests A&D give users a feature that saves them from the onorous task of having to personally ignore people and topics.

Well, I want features too! My list is as follows:

1) Everytime I log onto BGG I want it to mix me a scotch and water.

2) I believe it should also dispense a Power Ball ticket every time I add a game, image, session report or review.

3) I also want a feature that tracks CapAp's input and slaps a "Vote Bush" sticker on his screen every time he mentions politics.

4) Another good feature would be Sleestack Heads. We ought to be able to buy one for 100 GG.

5) Since people who don't think exactly like I do piss me off I want to be able to infect their system with a virus everytime they say something I find offensive.

6) I really suck at certain games and I believe BGG ought to provide me with in-home tutoring on the games I'm just too dense to understand and the feature should stick with me until I can compete against the best of them. I'd like to start with ASL and Star Fleet Battles and work my way through every SPI game weighing more than 4 pounds and eventually ending up at Puerto Rico. It's not that I don't "get" PR, I just don't understand why it's so much fun and I blame BGG for that deficiency on my part.

7) It really ticks me off that I don't own every game I desire and BGG is no help. All it does is constantly remind me of what I lack. So I'd like a feature that requires anyone who owns more games than me to immediately send me their copy of Hannibal, Warangel and that really cool looking Formula One game that comes in a tube with big cars.

8) I'd like BGG to provide everyone on BGG with $1 each time Potterama explains something using words known only to Potterama and the people who write dictionaries.

9) Scrib should be required to post regularly or else be flogged in public.

10) The Tom Vasel Feature would require him to fly each of us to Korea so we can paw through his games and confuse his students.

11. I want to know who's ugly and who's not. This feature would require everyone submit a verifiable headshot as an avatar for 3 months and then upload it to a tabbed file for future derisive commentary... if you're particularly unattractive you would be rewarded with both scotch and tequila.

I'm sure I haven't covered everything so have at it. I need to work... hopefully I won't lose control and click on something I know will be offensive when I really should be working.
 
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Brian Schlichting
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Quote:
if you're particularly unattractive you would be rewarded with both scotch and tequila.


Shouldn't it be the rest of us that get drinks if you're that ugly? Kinda like not being able to smell yourself, I think it's others that have the problem if I'm ugly.

Come to think of it, I think we need to add a stinkometer. I want to know if you smell. Maybe the self portrait could be scratch'n'sniff?
 
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John O'Haver PhoDOGrapher
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I have 2 requests.
1) No new features.

2) No new filters.

Maybe even no new members...until I get up to speed on the changes to date and the new who's who. I'm so far behind the curve navigating the changes since December. I can't find my own collection of nonsense yet.


Ok, just one more request. Three dimensional animated avatars with sound.
 
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The Real and Only
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Brian,

I already made that comment as a joke and it was deleted.
 
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The Real and Only
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Actually just noticed that my comments are contained on this journal thread as it exists under the chit chat section. It was moved and my comments are on the old thread but not on this one.

Weird.
 
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John So-And-So
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As Bill Cosby used to say:

"Just listnin' for my name, that's all."
 
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Robert C Kalajian Jr
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Mozbink wrote:
Actually just noticed that my comments are contained on this journal thread as it exists under the chit chat section. It was moved and my comments are on the old thread but not on this one.

Weird.


I'll just have to repost my comment then.


All I want is a sammich cry
 
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