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Subject: Sad news, indeed rss

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The Steak Fairy
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From Reuters News Service:

Dallas, Texas--Game fans everywhere today mourn the loss of Robert C. Kalajian, Jr, co-founder of Tremorworks and co-creator of the HDL role-playing system and other games. Said Sean Boyle, Kalajian's longtime collaborator and last remaining principal of Tremorworks: "Rob was just sitting at his desktop, skimming his Wall Street Journal, and preparing to check out the RSS feed at his beloved Boardgamegeek.com. I heard him swear, mutter something about 'those idiots,' and the next thing I see, he's lolling on the floor, face turning blue, and he appears to have swallowed his tongue. I dialed 911 immediately, but by the time the response team arrived, Rob was gone."

Preliminary reports from the medical examiner were released to the media due to massive interest in Mr. Kalajian's forthcoming games, Elementalis and Star Venture. Assistant medical examiner Tyler Putman gave the following details:
"Robert C. Kalajian, Jr, beloved co-creator of HDL died of natural causes. No foul play is suspected, and Sean Boyle, equally beloved co-founder of Tremorworks is in no way culpable. Every possible effort was made to resuscitate Mr. Kalajian, but his reaction to April Fools detritus across the internet was simply more than his frail form could withstand. I join the nation in mourning his passing."

Representatives of the family of Mr. Kalajian have requested that funeral arrangements remain private, in order to stem the tide of anonymous mourners who might otherwise incapacitate the State's already-beleaguered traffic grid. In lieu of flowers or other expressions of condolence, the family requests donations be made to Tremorworks, so that work on their impending game releases may continue in the absence Mr. Kalajian.

Mr. Kalajian is survived by Sean Boyle, the HDL role-playing system, and a really ugly picture of some bird-looking thing called a 'Laenhoot.'
 
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Sean Swart
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surprisecrylaugh
 
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Robert C Kalajian Jr
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It's a sad thing, dying. I must also state that my tongue does not taste very good at all.

Rumors surrounding my death are, in fact, true. My frail body just couldn't handle the massive amounts of April Fools day postings around the Internet, causing a massive seizure in which I asphyxiated on my own tongue.

Please donate to my fund generously. It will be greatly appreciated by my wife and soon-to-be-born child if my games are published and can create a stable income for them.

I am sorry to dissapoint everyone with my death, and I can only hope to live on in my games.



PS: And it's Rob, not Bob god damnit! No one has respect for the dead anymore.
 
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The Steak Fairy
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rkalajian wrote:
PS: And it's Rob, not Bob god damnit! No one has respect for the dead anymore.


This just in: Representatives for Reuters News Service were fired today, after it became known that they screwed up yet another nickname for a noted gaming celebrity. All prior evidence of their foolishness has been purged.
 
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Robert C Kalajian Jr
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That's more like it!
 
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The root of all evil ...but you can call me cookie.
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MisterCranky wrote:

Representatives of the family of Mr. Kalajian have requested that funeral arrangements remain private, in order to stem the tide of anonymous mourners who might otherwise incapacitate the State's already-beleaguered traffic grid.


Seems to me like your family might want to keep details private to avoid having a huge showing of people dressed up in outfits at the funeral all sitting cross legged on graves setting up game. But that could be another mix up from the author of the article I don't know.
 
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John Lopez
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Now this is how you do Python-esq gallows humor.
 
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Gil Hova
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Godeke wrote:
Now this is how you do Python-esq gallows humor.


"Oooh, that's a bit morbid, innit?"
"No it isn't. This is zany madcap humour."
 
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Valerie Putman
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MisterCranky wrote:
Assistant medical examiner Tyler Putman gave the following details:...


Hmmmm....so that's where my husband dissapears to all day. And I thought he worked for EB games--I am such a fool.
 
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