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B-17: Queen of the Skies» Forums » Sessions

Subject: The Bowlegged Ostrich flies to glory and/or fiery death rss

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Jon Murdock
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Hello, my name is Bob; my full name is Robert Narrator. Genealogy suggests that the family was either involved in theater or that someone made a typographical error on some long-forgotten immigration form.

I just finished up my flight training and have been assigned to a crew. When I signed on to join this flying circus I claimed I had all kinds of radio experience. Logically I figured this would mean they would put me in a control room safely on terra firma, preferably in some kind of armored bunker. Instead they made me a Sergeant and decided to stick me in a seat with a radio and a gun and send that seat soaring through the air over the Channel to drop explosives on people deadset on killing me.

Well, since I seem deadset on telling this tale I guess I should introduce you to the crew.

Lieutenant Slaughter, Bombardier:

This guy creeps me out a little. He is constantly going out to look at the munitions being loaded on the planes with a strange look. It is either hunger, longing, love, or lust. I want to know nothing about this and have given him a wide berth.

Lieutenant Mandrake, Navigator:

A naturalized Englishman who finished immigration just before the war kicked off. He joined the military and ended up back here. Knows all the best pubs around base. Has threatened to murder me if I try to find out where his sister lives.

Captain Nicholas Brendan, Pilot:

Old Nick the air Captain is a rough, tough jolly sort of fellow. He likes to hang out at the pier where the men dress like ladies and....you know what, use your imagination.

Lieutenant Stumpy, Co-pilot:

His mother was an unrepentant cynic and believed her son would lose at least one limb at some point in his life so made sure he had the name to match. So far has all his limbs still intact and wants to keep it that way. A cautious fellow so he is not all bad.

Master Sergeant Odie, Engineer:

He joined the flying corps to look at birds. He also named our plane. Loves take-off and landings but is bored by most of the rest of the flight since we fly over the birds. When I asked about the mechanical training he got to make sure the plane keeps flying he looked confused and kinda nodded. God help us all.

Sergeant Narrator, Radio Operator:

That's me.

Sergeant Maniac, Ball Turret Gunner:

His name is kinda odd. He had this brilliant idea for flying planes into enemy objects to destroy them. The plan fell apart when the lack of an exit strategy was pointed out. He didn't consider it important. After that the boys upstairs decided not to let him fly a fighter again and gave him the most exposed gun on the plane. I don't think this is a coincidence.

Sergeant Leftie, Starboard Waist Gunner:

Right-handed so not sure why he is called that, haven't had much of a chance to chat with him.

Sergeant Rightie, Port Waist Gunner:

Left-handed and twin brother to Leftie. They seem to have been placed on earth to cause confusion.

Sergeant Whatley, Tail Gunner:

Odd, confusing man. Doesn't talk much. Very unfocussed. Always seems startled to see you when he notices you and has that look on his face you get right before you go for someone's neck. Constantly muttering in strange languages and reading musty old books that he won't let anyone look at. They have strange bindings too. An odd fellow.

Mission 1

Well, the Colonel called us all in and announced that now that the Brits had softened the Germans it was time for us to finish them off:

Colonel: Men, this will be most of y'alls first mission so I want you to make sure to come back. Those planes aren't cheap. We are starting you noobs out with a milk run. Head to Cherbourg, a forward airfield the Germans use to harass us. Drop your bombs on them (I noticed Slaughter looking disturbingly excited at this point) and then come home.

Simplicity itself. Our fighter boys will be covering you the whole way there and back. Any questionsgood, I don't have time to answer any. Look on the board for your squadron positions.

I wandered over to the board and saw that we were happily in the middle and nowhere near the front or back of the outgoing formation. Then I saw we were in the low squadron and started to panic. That's where the Germans like to shoot!!! They are trying to kill me.

As we boarded the plane Slaughter lovingly caressed and kissed each bomb. No issues there. Whatley muttered something in what I think was Latin, sounded like a rather odd prayer. Then the captain got on the 'com after we finished all systems checks.

Nick: All right boys. We are heading out. We all signed up for 25 missions and fame and glory. I want you to fixate on how impressed the boys back home will be when you regale them with your exploits. They won't be able to keep their hands off you (awkward silence). I meant girls back home. Sorry about that.

Zone 1 Outbound:

At last we leave the bounds of earth and dance the sky on laughter's silvered wings.

I heard Odie talking to himself about a bird we passed on the way up. Something about it's carrying capacity and something about coconuts.

Zone 2 Outbound:

The channel looks very nice. I'm a little concerned by how few fighters they have around us.

Zone 3 Target:

This is not nearly as bad as I though. First a couple of nasty FW-190 came from 10:30 above but our fighter boys scared him off.

Then I hear from the back that a 110 is coming in low. I hear Maniac screaming bloody murder. Then I hear strange noises from the back.

Whatley: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

What the....? Then I get the chance to hear Stumpy screaming from the cockpit. It seems they're on fire:

Stumpy: My limbs. Don't let it scorch off my beautiful limbs.

Then I hear an extinguisher going off and the screaming stopped.

Nick: This is your captain speaking. There is absolutely no cause for alarm. The wing is still mostly intact and is not on fire. The oxygen is out in the cabin so we will soon be descending to a lower altitude to deal with the sudden drop in air pressure. Thank you for flying.

Slaughter: Eat explosive death!!!!!!!

I assume that means the bombs are away.

I panic as a 190 dives from above. I try to shoot it but luckily it is as bad a shot as I am. It flies by missing us entirely. I feel dangerously exposed down here but I guess the cabin crew dying of oxygen deprivation wouldn't help me get home much.

Zone 2 Returning:

Although the primadonna flyboys don't seem to want to bother protecting lone little us the Germans don't seem eager for vengeance as we head out over the channel.

Zone 1 Landing:

Captain brought us in nice and neat. He certainly has a dainty touch for flying this slab. When we reached ground we all went out to survey the damage. Bullets through the wing. Slaughter starts muttering about making them pay when he sees holes near his bomb bay. Whatley chants while walking around the plane holding up some kind of amulet.

I just relax. The first flight of the war for me is finally over. 24 more and I can retire from this life of insanity.
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Brett Schaller
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Very entertaining!
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ian morris
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"Sergeant Narrator, you and your fine body of men need to come over to the B-17 Play-by-Forum pages and join the 281st BG ! We're on a milk run to Rotterdam at the moment, with a new mission scheduled tomorrow. Major Pfalzstaff will square you away."


Squadron Leader Blackadder


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Jon Murdock
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Mission 2:

Colonel: Well boys, we have new orders. Our navy boys are tired of German boats putting torpedos in the sides of their ships. Today you're taking a longer flight to Vegesat to drop some bombs on some U-boat facilities. This will be outside fighter range but fortunately your success last mission leads us to believe fighter escort will be unnecessary. Good luck. Flight assignments on the board.

Oh hell. Our second mission is taking us to Germany? What the...

Mandrake stopped to find me though.

Mandrake: You look worried old chap. Don't be. We will be flying over ocean the whole way there. The Germans will surely not have planes flying patrol over the ocean. It's big. Far too much of the bloody thing.

At least it looks like they fixed our plane up. The wing looks less glued on. We are flying on top instead of on bottom which is nice.

Zone 1 Outbound:

Nick: This is your captain speaking. We will be launching in two minutes. Remember those supple lads...uhhh...ladies waiting for us at the pub after this is over. They will hear about the heroic bombing of those sub things the Germans like so much.

Zone 2 Outbound:

They're all over us.

Maniac: Winged him, come on ya pansy. Ram us if you want to play.

Leftie: That would be one death spiraling 109 for me. Now you see why mother loved me best.

Rightie: He gave me a poor deflection on my shot. Your target undoubtedly waited patiently for you to shoot it.

I asked Mandrake why there were Germans over the channel. No answer. I think the whole thing was an excuse to justify giving us fewer fighters on escort.

Zone 3 Outbound:

While an aerial battle raged around us no enemies decided to target us. We were happy about this.

Maniac: Come on you motherless goats. I'm right here.

Well, most of us were happy.

Zone 4 Outbound:

Another wave hit. This time we had much sound and fury off starboard but nothing connected. We are leaving fighter protection and this whole 'flying over the ocean' thing seems about as effective as avoiding enemy fire by flying at 500 feet over a flak battery.

Zone 5 Outbound:

Finally, some peace.

Mandrake: If you look out your plane to your left, you'll see the majestic North Sea.

Zone 6 Outbound:

Mandrake: If you chaps will look out to your right, you'll see the occupied Netherlands.

Zone 7 Target:

I looked out the window and saw carnage and heard our guns going off and people bullets whizzing into us.

Nick: There is no absolutely no cause for alarm though some of you may have noticed engine 1 appears to have stopped working. No problems. We'll be dropping our bombs shortly. Any other problems?

Whatley: The rudder has been hit. No problems here captain. Send more of them to die beneath my gun for the glory of the Outer Gods....(Muttering) and Yog-Sothoth is the key.

Slaughter: I winged two of the bastards. That'll teach them to aim at my precious bombs.

Mandrake: I say, it appears that one of the blighters took out the heat connections up here. Slaughter and I aren't getting any heat in our suits. I would ask we descend once we deliver our cargo lest I lose any digits.

Stumpy: That's how it starts, first a finger, then the hand, then the arm......

Maniac: They broke it. My turret broke. This thing isn't spinning and the guns aren't working. Permission to go out on the wing and attack with my sidearm sir?

Nick: Ummm...

Maniac: Oh hell, I can't get out. I'm sealed in. Those Germans have taken out your most valuable asset Captain.

Nick: Okay, no ball turret. We'll survive.

Mandrake: The flak has started going off Captain.

Slaughter: Bombs away. Burn you boats from the fiery furnaces of hell!!!

Rightie: Well, it seems flak has made our wing into swiss cheese. Much more and it may fall off. That would be bad right?

Leftie: That would make them a matching pair then. Good for aerodynamics right?

Whatley: Yig shows his displeasure as our rudder has been hit again.

Nick: Alright, landing gear is out. Not a problem, I can land this thing without one. Why I was talking to a lad the other day in my barracks about landing....

Stumpy: Will it cost me any extremities?

Mandrake: I say chaps, it seems that I have been shot. Not too bad but it does make this a cock-up of a day. Oh, and four 109's coming in.

Slaughter: Winged another one, that'll learn you. Stay on the ground next time and die by my bombs. It will be quicker.

Maniac: 110 coming from below. I think he's trying to ram us. I'll try to kill him when he hits me.

A bullet went through my compartment. Everything works but this is bad. Very bad. What am I doing here?

Rightie: He hit engine 2 but it's still spinning.

Odie: I got him as he came around for another pass. He's in a death spiral. So graceful. Like a swallow that was just hit by a slingshot.

Mandrake: Ummmmm, chaps, three 190's coming in front and above. Ahhh, spot of luck, they all missed.

Zone 6, Returning:

I told the rest of the formation that we were dropping down to prevent frostbite in the nose.

Mandrake: Still cold, but I'm grateful for this. Now if only the pain would stop.

Four more planes.

Maniac: I can see them but I can't shoot them. What kind of God would do this to me?

Nick: This is your captain speaking. There is still no cause for alarm. Heat is now out in the cockpit and the flaps instrumentation is gone. This landing will be more difficult but if you think a simple thing like losing all landing systems will kill us on landing then you lack faith in old Nick.

I lack faith in old Nick.

Slaughter: I winged another one.

Zone 5, Returning:

Almost back to the fighters no doubt waiting anxiously for our return.

Then the 110's came.

Mandrake: Can't seem to get a bead on the blighters.

Maniac: WHY!?!?!!? Why?!?!?!?!?!?

We got through unscathed.

Zone 4, Returning:

Our fighters are here and no Germans in sight.

Zone 3, Returning:

The fighters got most of them but they've come back with a vengeance.

Odie: Well, brought down another. Much like shooting ducks though that death spiral is much less graceful. Oh well.

Glad I radioed the fighters there was a lone bomber out of formation.

Zone 2, Returning:

More planes and most of our fighters are gone.

I watched one miss his attack from the front and fly overhead. Then it began smoking and burning.

Whatley: You cannot kill that which has life everlasting and with untold aeons even death can die.

Nick: What?

Whatley: Destroyed it in the name of Cthu...I mean, destroyed it.

Zone 1, Landing:

Nick: This is what separates the beautiful boys from the not-so-interesting ladies. Everyone assume crash position. I expect this landing will not be as delicate as the last but all will be well.

I watch as we start losing altitude faster then we should.

Stumpy: We're all GOING TO DIE!!!!

We land sloppily and skid off the runway. We all hurriedly exit and medics come to look at Mandrake.

Surveying the plane it is repairable but that was not a good landing.

This mission was terrible. I am only glad I didn't once have to fire. Leftie is holding his one kill over his brother. Odie doesn't seem to realize how impressive it is to get two good kills in one mission and Whatley reports his kill and wanders off claiming that there are rituals that need doing to sanctify the 'sacrifice' whatever that means.

Still, as we all walk away from the plane I take some solace that I am still alive. Only 23 more missions to go....Mommy!!!!

Maniac: Hey!!! Still stuck here. Someone fix this thing and let's get this thing back in the air. Germans need skewering. GUYS!!!!!! Where the HELL ARE YOU????

Notes: I am kinda shocked how well these two missions have gone. Oh, and for those interested Missions 1 and 2 had 30% and 20% bombing hits respectively. I am also really hoping Odie makes Ace.
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Jon Murdock
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gamer72 wrote:


"Sergeant Narrator, you and your fine body of men need to come over to the B-17 Play-by-Forum pages and join the 281st BG ! We're on a milk run to Rotterdam at the moment, with a new mission scheduled tomorrow. Major Pfalzstaff will square you away."


Squadron Leader Blackadder




Can't at this time to commit to flying before Sunday due to travel plans. I will consider joining at a later date when my schedule is more free. Thanks for the offer and would love to fly as long as Baldrick is not made my navigator.
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ian morris
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XenoMaster wrote:

Thanks for the offer and would love to fly as long as Baldrick is not made my navigator.


No fear of that, he died some time ago. I've about worked through the whole cast now ! Only one man has survived the full 23 missions so far - 'Bob' Parkhurst in the ball turret. We're always looking for talented types to join the 20-minuters, so hope to see you soon.





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XenoMaster wrote:
Mission 2:

...

Still, as we all walk away from the plane I take some solace that I am still alive. Only 23 more missions to go....Mommy!!!!

Maniac: Hey!!! Still stuck here. Someone fix this thing and let's get this thing back in the air. Germans need skewering. GUYS!!!!!! Where the HELL ARE YOU????



R.I.P. Sergeant Maniac

Your fellow crew members are so shell shocked they have yet to realize the finality of a trapped ball gunner's fate in a plane without landing gear. Hopefully, you were just as oblivious to your fate until the very end.


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Jon Murdock
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Mission 3:

Colonel: Well men, our boys were so impressed with the mess you made of Hitler's subs they've decided to do it again. This time we're going to hit their boats in France. They've been a nuisance among our supply shipments. You're going to hit Lorient. Formation positions are posted. Go hit them and come back. If you don't I have to requisition new planes and I hate paperwork.

Once again they show their hatred of our plane. Perhaps they figure with the damage we took last time the whole plane is likely to come apart in mid-air in any case. We are in the middle but in the low squadron again. In other words, we are asking to get shot at again. Hurrah.

On the way out I noted the patches and repairs from last flight. They did a good job repairing the ball turret. Maniac shot it up with his sidearm to get out after last flight. Luckily this was before he came up with a plan to cook off his gun's ammo which he insists he'll use next time.

Zone 1 Outbound:

Odie pointed out a graceful seagull on the way up. Then the engine prop decapitated it. It wasn't so graceful on the way down though it took a direct order from Nick to Maniac to make sure he didn't use take a few potshots at it on the way down "to be sure".

Zone 2 Outbound:

Where are the fighters? They are supposed to protect us from things like this.....

Leftie: Got him. That's two kills for me and zero for you brother. Better get it together.

Rightie: If they'd come over here I'd shoot them now wouldn't I. They just fear me so much that they come in on the side with the incompetent gunner.

I saw a 110 swoop by missing it's attack and then Whatley nailed it with a perfect shot.

Whatley: He was an ace. You brought down an ace by Azathoth. Now the Nazis will use him in a revivification ritual to bring him back. Mine was not worthy of the favor of the Old Ones.

Mandrake: What is that chap talking about?

Zone 3 Outbound:

Nothing, we're clear.

Maniac: That's right. Fear me you cowards. Come back here and fight.

Figures the fighters put on a show of escorting us now.

Zone 4 Outbound:

Another attack is mostly repulsed by fighters. One 110 breaks through and we hear a few hits from below near the bomb bay.

Slaughter: Did they hurt my bombs? Tell me the bombs still work. I'll murder them all. Come back here you....ahhh, here he comes. Ha, yeah, that's right. You better run.

We confirm the damage was superficial and Slaughter goes back to his usual saner but not quite sane self.

Zone 5 Outbound:

No more fighter cover.

However, no one comes to play. Nick starts telling a story about his adventures at the pub last week. I disconnect the com until he is through. I think everyone is grateful.

Zone 6 Target:

The formation was attacked but the rest of the bombers drove them off. I could get used to this.

No flak either. This is eerie.

Slaughter: Die underwater scum!!!! Burn!!!!

It's looking like we're going to....

Whatley: (muttering) They come....they come with a vengeance born of hatred and fed by Powers that predate man.

Stumpy: Incoming. Multiple waves!!!!

Five 190's strafed our aircraft.

Odie: I got myself another one. I am getting the hang of this shooting them thing. It's like feathering a nest.

Within seconds it was over.

Nick: Alright, well we have some problems with our oxygen here. Still working though.

Leftie: My heat is out.

Whatley: They were not composed altogether of flesh and blood. They had shape...but that shape was not made of matter. When the stars were right, They could plunge from world to world through the sky; but when the stars were wrong, They could not live. But although They no longer lived, They would never really die. They all lay in stone houses in Their great city of R'lyeh, preserved by the spells of mighty Cthulhu for a glorious resurrection when the stars and the earth might once more be ready for Them.

Rightie: Uhhh, Whatley has been shot and is just gibbering. I bandaged the wound but I don't know if he will make it.

Nick: Oh dear, we're leaking fuel and we lost a wing flap and an elevator. Hmmm....quite a pickle. This reminds me of the time I was shot down in a bar while....

Stumpy: We are all going to die!!!!!!

Another wave hit but ignored our plane.

Then another wave of four 190's hit. Our nose was hit a few times and one bullet whizzed through my compartment but the damage appeared to be superficial.

We are going to die out here if we take much more of this.

Nick: Well, we'll stay in formation until we get under fighter cover and then duck down to keep Leftie from freezing. Wouldn't want those dainty digits freezing off.

Zone 5 Returning:

More 190's. You'd think we bombed their mother or something. I heard a lot of screaming and the intercom died.I went to the front to check and found an absolute mess as Mandrake got to the pilot's compartment as I did.

Mandrake: I say, Slaughter and I were both hit. Not bad and all but it appears the intercom is broken. Why is Nick lying there like that?

Stumpy: HE'S DEAD.

Odie: Calm down man, you're in command now.

Stumpy: Alright, I order this plane turned around at once.

Odie: You want to go back to the U-boat pens.

Stumpy: No! Home!

Mandrake: I'm the expert at navigation so I'd like to point out we are heading home. We need to descend before Leftie gets frostbitten. We'll be under fighter cover shortly.

Maniac: Hey, the cowards came from above. Wouldn't give me a shot and shot me anyways. Bastards. I'll kill them all.

Of our crew of ten, one is dead and four are wounded, one seriously. That leaves five of us to get this bird home with a leaky gas tank and three wounded supporting with no fire coordination and out of formation. Fantastic......

Zone 4 Returning:

A flock of 109's hit us. The fighters scared off a few and I can't hear the rest of the crew anymore. As I called the fighters to request aid a shell went through the radio and another went through me. It didn't look too bad but it hurts. Oh, how it hurts.

When the buzzing of combat died down, I decided it was safe to head to the cockpit to see what the situation was. It was bad. The damage is bad. The only uninjured on the plane are the 2 waist gunners and the engineer. The nose was hit and Stumpy wounded. He lost a finger. Engine 1 is out and the prop feathered so we are slowed to a crawl. Our odds of seeing home again do not look good.

Zone 3 Returning:

I sit in my radio room and pray. Fighter buzz around us. None come into view of my gun and I listen to bullets whizz through the craft and hope this thing does not crash down. I have no communications so I can't discuss what is going on with the rest of the crew or call for help. I can't send out a mayday if we do go down.

Zone 2 Returning:

Five 190's swarm and puncture our plane. While there are friendly fighters out there they are slow to respond. The feathered prop may be what kills us. We need to get out of here.

Zone 1 Landing:

Seeing England brings tears to my eyes. Stumpy brings us down and we get out and call for medics who rush over half the crew including me to the infirmary.

I also finally hear a full damage report on the plane. Aileron instrumentation out, wing flaps out, fuel tank leak and we landed on fumes, starboard elevator out, intercom and radio out, rudder almost disabled, engine one out with feathered prop, control cables out, navigation equipment out, port and starboard cheek guns disabled, and the nose and top turrets were completely out of ammo.

On the bright side intel reports an estimated 30% hit rate on the target. Small comfort.

Mandrake and Slaughter were both hit twice up front, neither of them serious. Nick is dead. Stumpy was wounded. Slaughter was wounded. I was wounded. Whatley was badly wounded and may be sent home (lucky bastard).

Only Leftie, Rightie, and Odie came through unscathed.

Stumpy told us that as Nick lay dying he said:

"I really never wanted to be a pilot. I always wanted to be a LUMBERJACK!!!" and then he died seeing trees and transvestites in bars. RIP Nick.

I need a drink.

Campaign Report:

Bombing runs so far:

1. 30%
2. 20%
3. 30%

Kills: 9
Bombardier Slaughter: 1 (1x109)
Engineer Odie: 4 (2x109, 1x110, 1x190)
Starboard Waist Gunner Leftie: 2 (1x109, 1x110)
Tail Gunner Whatley: 2 (1x109, 1x110)

Notes: This may have been the roughest mission I've ever flown and not died in. The game seemed to be toying with me and slowing me down and battering the crew and plane to pieces without actually killing them. In the last three zones going home each wave of them had at least four planes in it not counting the extra for being out of formation and the plane was facing two waves every zone. Yikes. The one spot of luck I did have was on the wound table. If there had been a statistically correct distribution of wound rolls I would probably have lost four or five crewmen. As it is I only lost the pilot and Whatley on the tailgun will come back next time (rolled the lucky roll for wound recovery.

I had trouble writing the end of this one because the narrator had none of the equipment needed to know what was going on. Still, a great mission....for me, not for our brave crew. I am hoping Odie makes ace soon. Never had a gunner survive long enough and be this much of a crack shot simultaneously.
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Jon Murdock
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Mission 4:

Our new captain Zapp Brannigan arrived today and was set to brief us on our next mission.

Brannigan: Men, I understand you had a rough last mission. Now that I am here we can get this plane on the right course and blast those Germans for peace-loving Americans everywhere. Today we go forth to continue our anti-Uboat campaign. Filthy stinking underwater rats. We will show them Brannigan's fury. Today we bomb Brest and send those filthy Germans back to the dark ages.

We're going to die.

Zone 1 Takeoff:

Brannigan: Alright crew, today we sail into the unknown. With my guidance and leadership we will destroy our enemies. Remember to throw yourself in the way of attacking bullets. If we run the enemy out of ammo we win.

Zone 2 Outbound:

Fighters swooped in and repulsed the German's weak attack.

Maniac: Come back here you cowards.

Zone 3 Outbound:

Five 190's swooped in on us and things got ugly.

One came in in my field of vision and I fired off the first rounds I've fired from this plane. They went wide. This is why I should be in a bunker with a headset.

Odie: Wow, got another one. Hey, does that make me an ace?

Leftie: Owww, they got me. It's not too bad. Wait....Rightie, RIGHTIE!! He's alive but it's bad.

Brannigan: Men, the control cables have taken a light hit. I suppose I don't need to tell you how vital it is they survive in order to give the Germans a good fiery death.

Slaughter: PROTECT THEM!

Brannigan: Indeed, use your body as a shield if necessary.

Everyone here is insane but me.

Zone 4 Outbound:

Fighter cover increased but no Germans showed up. The primadonnas like showing the flag but not actually dogfighting.

This is the end of our fighter cover and if things are normal this is where our plane starts getting chopped to ribbons and forced out of formation.

Zone 5 Outbound:

A couple of 109s came in but seemed to have no idea what they were doing, fired off a few badly aimed shots and fled.

Zone 6 Target:

Whatley: By Azathoth, they come as they did before.

Maniac: That's it, winged a 110 and he flees. Come back you lily-livered coward. I'll rip your lungs out.

Then five 190s descended on us, one in my field of view. My desperate shots missed and I heard screaming.

Mandrake: Slaughter is out chaps. He took it bad.

Whatley: Shub-Niggurath and her young have decreed my gun unworthy of existing. I shall take Rightie's position in the port waist but no.....Lord Cthulhu tells me that won't be necessary.

Leftie: What....oh, his gun is out and he....he's DEAD. Those bastards murdered my brother!

Whatley: I shall take Slaughter's place.

Brannigan: Men, it appears our landing gear is inoperable. The Starboard elevator is out and Odie's oxygen supply is damaged. I know you're all eager to give your lives but let us at least make sure that we protect the plane long enough to get me home. I need some gunners to protect my sexy body.

Whatley: Releasing bombs.

Maniac: We missed by approximately a mile. I think we hit a cow though. Suggest we swoop low so I can make sure it's dead sir.

Brannigan: Yes, it seems slaughter's wounding cost us the success of this mission. I will recommend he be courtmartialed for treason on our return for getting shot and sabotaging the mission. Now shoot those 190s coming in high and from the front.

Leftie: AGHHHHHH, I missed him and he shot me.

Zone 5 Returning:

109s coming in again.

Maniac: I got him. I got him. One 109 spinning to death for me.

One shot up our right wing and then came around again.

Maniac: That's two for me. Death to the infidel Germans!!!

Zone 4 Returning:

Back under fighter cover.

109s again.

Odie: I got another. Shame to take out such magnificent flying creatures.

Brannigan: No additional damage. It seems we will be home soon men and my flawless leadership has led us to this point.

Zone 3 Returning:

Sky is free of Germans.

Maniac: C'mon ya pansies. If you'll show I'll make ace before we land.

Zone 2 Returning:

Nothing again.

Leftie: Hiding from me now that you've got him, eh? C'mon!!! It's payback time.

Zone 1 Landing:

Brannigan: Alright Stumpy, we have no landing gear. We can improvise. Go to the port hatch and lower yourself down. Then run as the plane touches down and use your heels as brakes.

Stumpy: My feet!!!

Brannigan: No wait, I need you to help fly the plane. Lower Rightie's body as a brake.

Leftie: You bastard!!!!

Brannigan: Too late, will have to land the old-fashioned way.

The landing was bad but plane and crew survived.

Brannigan: Well men, as you can see now that you have a competent captain you can finish missions in formation.

Leftie's two wounds were treated and he was labelled fit for duty within a week. At Rightie's memorial he vowed to bring down at least ten enemy planes to ensure his brother had a fitting escort through the afterlife. Slaughter was declared unfit for military service and invalided home. There he took up fishing....with dynamite.

Campaign Report:

Bombing runs so far:

1. 30%
2. 20%
3. 30%
4. 0%

Kills: 13
Bombardier Slaughter: 1 (1x109)
Engineer Odie: 6 (3x109, 1x110, 2x190)
Ball Turret Gunner Maniac: 2 (2x109)
Starboard Waist Gunner Leftie: 2 (1x109, 1x110)
Tail Gunner Whatley: 2 (1x109, 1x110)

Notes: Got my ace and then some and it was nice to see Maniac finally get in on the action. Will need to replace two crewmen now.
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