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Subject: Ultimate Battle - Round 1 - Part Five - Final 15 Matches rss

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The Original Thumb #50
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Raid1280 wrote:
Round 1 - Fight 14

Queen Elizabeth II

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vs.

A Really Sharp Cactus


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Go Go Cactus!!
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1. Monorail Cat Vs Mr. Miyagi
Monorail Cat might make the trains run on time, but Mr. Miyagi is cool, calm, collected, and that SOB can catch flies with his chopsticks.
Advantage: Mr. Miyagi


2. Nikkita Vs Godzilla
Nikkita might be a skilled assassin, but she's going to need more than skills to take down Godzilla.
Advantage: Godzilla


3. Rain Vs Maximus Decimus Meridius
A ninja assassin vs a roman general turned gladiator. Maximus might be good at what he does, but he'll never see the assassin coming.
Advantage: Rain


4. Schrodinger Vs Bill Cosby
Bill's mutant face powers can take down this nobody without issue.
Advantage: Bill Cosby


5. Kate Beckett Vs Cinderella
The princess has nothing on this gun toting mamma.
Advantage: Kat Beckett


6. Bob Vs Bender
A neurotic Vs a Robot with no compassion. No contest.
Advantage: Bender


7. Charlie Sheen Vs Jmilum
Someone is #WINNING in this fight...
Advantage: Jmilum


8. Bambi Vs Ghost
Do I even need to explain why?
Advantage: Ghost


9. Mr. T Vs Lore
Mr. T might pity the fool, but Lore has no pity in him, and superior physical ability.
Advantage: Lore


0. Tron Vs The Black Knight
THe Black Knights entire existance is based on losing. Tron is there to win.
Advantage: Tron


A. Christopher Reeves Vs Hercule Poirot
Really?? Thats just wrong. Whoever did that should be ashamed of themselves.
Advantage: Hecule Poirot


B. Michaelangelo Vs Conan
I'm afraid the painter won't be able to outfox the thinker that is the Barbarian.
Advantage: Conan


C. Ninja Pirate Vs The Mad Hatter
It's a ninja, and a pirate!!!
Advantage: Ninja Pirate


D. Queen Elizabeth II Vs Cactus
She might not be much of a fighter, but against an oponent that doesn't move, she's going to mop the floor with it.
Advantage: Queen Elizabth


E. Woody Woodpecker Vs Conan O'Brien
Coco is like a scarecrow. And everyone knows birds are scared of scarecrows.
Advantage: Conan O'Brien
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First impressions:

Miyagi would just knock the cat off of the monorail and then stab him to death with those chopsticks.

Nikkita would shoot Godzilla and the big monster would not even flinch. Nom, nom, nom. This one goes to Godzilla (and how did Godzilla not get paired with Bambi??)



Not sure on fight 3

Schrodinger would wonder for about 30 minutes whether or not Cosby existed because if he were in the ring he wouldn't be there or would he? Cosby would just kick him over and then go have a chocolate pudding.

My daughter loves "Rella". But Kate Beckett has a gun. However, I think all girls deep down want to be a princess so Kate just couldn't bring herself to pull the trigger and the fight ends at midnight when "Rella" reverts to her happy, singing, repressed slave girl and kicks Kate's butt.

What about Bob? Advantage Bender.

Charlie Sheen is crazy.

Ghost takes Bambi (see video above but picture sharp pointy teeth)

"I pity the fool.." I don't believe Lore is a fool.

"None Shall Pass and the Black Knight Always Wins." I mean, even when his arms and legs were cut off, it was still only a draw.

Superman guy.

Conan

The Mad Hatter. He's so mad that the ninja would just get confused and drown in his cup of tea.

A sharp cactus. True story: When my wife and I were buying a house, we looked at a house that had a real dead large sharp cactus. It's spines are like 10 inches long and very pointy. The thing just sucks you in with its majesty and power. The Queen has no chance.

I think Woody pecks on Conan's hair for a while before deciding that he should go for the eyes. Conan tells a couple of jokes and is ultimately canned by the promoter who promised that he'd make it to the 2nd round. Advantage: Bird with the funny laugh.

 
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Charlie Sheen wins. Why? Because we let him through once already, and he's not bi-polar but bi-winning.

Also, I've seen cooking made fun, but never seen anyone make it win. Yet another gem from Charlie:



Seriously. Watch it (in case you've not already seen it).

Oh, and One shall totally beat the cactus upon any day of the week, no matter how sharp. And I'm not sure this Lore guy can withstand the amount of pity Mr.T is about to unleash.
 
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ohgrande wrote:

"I pity the fool.." I don't believe Lore is a fool.
All who stand before T are fools, ripe for the pitying.
 
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I love the cactus.

And the cactus wins here.

Great matchup. The Queen can't justify getting the British Armed Forces to it. She would try to weed it herself and it's not going anywhere.
 
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Also, I'll be straight up. The two I submitted here were Bob and Jmilum.

Sheen may think he'll WINNING, but have you played with Jmilum the WW Hunter? One thing is that he does not suffer fools. Sheen may be a WINNING fool, but he's a FOOL. Jmilum will just grab him by the throat and not let go. What a terrible matchup for Sheen. He's no Patton. The only thing that could have beat Jmilum right here would have been a silver bullet itself.

Look at his games 563-635. 24-5 run there. There were more runs like that, too. He's been killed on Night 1 in 32 of his 169 games as a villager player. That's 1 in every 5 games. He's been killed on Night 2, 30 of his 169 games. Together 62 out of 169 games he gets killed in the first two nights. About 37%.

Me: 23 out of 103. About 22%. And we each have a pretty big set to get stats from. What about you?

When he doesn't die, the wolves DIE.

Indiana Jones wouldn't pick anyone else to have on his side.

Case closed.
 
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1. Monorail Cat Vs Mr. Miyagi
Actually, Mr. Miyagi can't catch flies with chopsticks. Daniel-san did it on his first try. Still, Mr. Miyagi beats monorail cat.
Advantage: Mr. Miyagi


2. Nikkita Vs Godzilla
Oh god, Maggie Q. is so hot.
Advantage: Nikkita


3. Rain Vs Maximus Decimus Meridius
All I know is that Rain can literally dance in Korean, and he beat Stephen T. Colbert on the man's own show...

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/15655...

I think the ninja beats the gladiator.

Advantage: Rain


4. Schrodinger Vs Bill Cosby
As soon as Bill Cosby goes into Schrodinger's box, we have to believe Cosby is both defeated and not defeated. Cosby just can't explain that away in a soothing fatherly fashion that makes us all relate.
Advantage: Schrodinger


5. Kate Beckett Vs Cinderella
Look at that picture of Kate Beckett that Raid posted... really closely at her face... tell me she's not a possessed zombie... creepy.

I wouldn't mind Cinderella winning this whole competition, that way we could say it was a Cinderella story.
Advantage: Cinderella


6. Bob Vs Bender
Someone's pendin' for a bendin'.
Advantage: Bender


7. Charlie Sheen Vs Jmilum
We already have Charlie Harper going through. This is unnecessary repetition. Though it would be interesting to see Harper vs. Sheen.
Advantage: Jmilum


8. Bambi Vs Ghost
Ghost wins, because wolf eats deer. Bad luck Bambi, say hello to your mother for me.
Advantage: Ghost


9. Mr. T Vs Lore
This is another guy who should win, but probably won't because people are looking out for their mid-tier contenders in Round 2. But Mr. T should win this fight.
Advantage: Mr. T.


0. Tron Vs The Black Knight
Tron is built to win The Game. The Black Knight doesn't know when he's lost, but he has lost.
Advantage: Tron


A. Christopher Reeves Vs Hercule Poirot
That's an odd choice with Reeves... Hercule nevertheless has this solved. And I pray to the fates that Hercule Poirot and Sherlock Holmes go head to head in this competition at some point.
Advantage: Hecule Poirot


B. Michaelangelo Vs Conan
Destroy your enemies. See them driven before you. And hear the lamentation of their women.
Advantage: Conan


C. Ninja Pirate Vs The Mad Hatter
Ninja Pirates don't exist because they are mortal enemies. The Ninja and Pirate halves would tear each other apart. Plus... god, that Mad Hatter pic is more insane looking that the Johnny Depp version, but let us not forget how badass the Mad Hatter is with that Claymore.
Advantage: Mad Hatter


D. Queen Elizabeth II Vs Cactus
Gonna give this one to the Cactus. But the Queen will take it well, stiff upper lip and all that. Tony Blair and the press will think she's too out of touch.
Advantage: Cactus


E. Woody Woodpecker Vs Conan O'Brien

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Advantage: Conan O'Brien
 
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Also, I don't think this is a terrible matchup for Bob. He's not fighting a trained killer. Bender is sociopathic, but I'm not sure he's a skilled fighter. I don't think he has much patience. And I'm not sure Raid keeps enough booze in his house to even keep him competent to keep up with Bob and have what little patience he has.

No fighter in THIS COMPETITION, has the annoyance weapon like Bob Wiley does. Should be a good fight, but I think Sailing Bob has a chance.

Would you want to fight this?



and this?

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So I just realized I missed round 4... sorry guys. I guess I somehow missed the thread when it popped up, and never subscribed to it.. combined with me sleeping through days lately, and not knowing the day of the week

1. Monorail Cat Vs Mr. Miyagi
I don't know these competitors... it seems we have a martial arts expert vs a cat that sits on a rail. I'm not sure how the cat could win...
Advantage: Miyagi


2. Nikkita Vs Godzilla
Godzilla... has he ever really won? Maybe against Mothra, or something else big enough for him to fight, and clearly more evil... but in general, this guy can't win. Especially against someone he'll never see.
Winner: Nikkita


3. Rain Vs Maximus Decimus Meridius
I don't know the competitors very well, but a gladiator fighter, vs an assassin, the advantage seems to be the one trained in stealth.
Advantage: Rain


4. Schrodinger Vs Bill Cosby
Tough match-up. The comedian likely won't be able to understand the scientists methods, but at the same time, will be able to ridicule him. I say this one is 50/50
Advantage: ?


5. Kate Beckett Vs Cinderella
I like the point that Kate would sympathize with the princess, and want her to win. And it's not like Cinderella has been pampered - she's a hard girl, treated poorly by her stepsisters... she may be able to pull this one out
Advantage: Cinderella?


6. Bob Vs Bender
Judging by the above videos... Bob: {Something annoying}. Bender: *slaps Bob*". Repeat, until Bob stats crying in the corner.
Advantage: Bender


7. Charlie Sheen Vs Jmilum
I can't give this one to the mentally unbalanced guy
Advantage: Charlie Sheen


err, I mean, Advantage: Jmilum


8. Bambi Vs Ghost
Sigh. I was really hoping Bambi would get a first-round pass against some do-gooder who would take pity on the orphaned dear... but really, a dire wolf... *sigh*
Advantage: Ghost


9. Mr. T Vs Lore
I don't know Lore... he doesn't look like a fool..
Advantage: Mr T


0. Tron Vs The Black Knight
END OF LINE, Black Knight.
Advantage: Tron


A. Christopher Reeves Vs Hercule Poirot
So ya...
Advantage: Hecule Poirot


B. Michaelangelo Vs Conan
Poor Michaelangelo.. maybe I'll revisit this and figure out a way he could win... but the uncultured barbarian seems to have the edge
Advantage: Conan


C. Ninja Pirate Vs The Mad Hatter
I don't think the Hatter can be beaten on his unbirthday... and the ninja pirate is a bit of a self-paradox itself, putting it squarely into the Hatter's domain.
Advantage: Mad Hatter


D. Queen Elizabeth II Vs Cactus
The queen is no gardener, and much to primp and proper to her her hands dirty. I don't know how she beats a cactus. And the cactus defies her by being unbeatable.
Advantage: Cactus


E. Woody Woodpecker Vs Conan O'Brien
I know which one of them is funnier...
Advantage: Conan O'Brien
 
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Robb wrote:
6. Bob Vs Bender
Judging by the above videos... Bob: {Something annoying}. Bender: *slaps Bob*". Repeat, until Bob stats crying in the corner.
Advantage: Bender
Bob wouldn't cry. He would thank Bender for the new Slapping Therapy. And then keep following him.
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Fables version of Cinderella might stand a chance.

Spoiler (click to reveal)
Turns out the whole vacant party-girl thing is a cover story, and she's actually one of Bigby's secret agent/spy/assassins.


Of course, she's also borderline-immortal, so might be illegal. Come to think of it, though, doesn't nearly every version of Cinderella live happily ever after? Would that count as immortality?
 
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dbmurph22 wrote:
Robb wrote:
6. Bob Vs Bender
Judging by the above videos... Bob: {Something annoying}. Bender: *slaps Bob*". Repeat, until Bob stats crying in the corner.
Advantage: Bender
Bob wouldn't cry. He would thank Bender for the new Slapping Therapy. And then keep following him.
At which point Bender would say "you're welcome", and start charging him to slap him? Also seems like a win for Bender?
 
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BlackSheep wrote:
Fables version of Cinderella might stand a chance.

Spoiler (click to reveal)
Turns out the whole vacant party-girl thing is a cover story, and she's actually one of Bigby's secret agent/spy/assassins.


Of course, she's also borderline-immortal, so might be illegal. Come to think of it, though, doesn't nearly every version of Cinderella live happily ever after? Would that count as immortality?
The Cinderella from the musical Into the Woods goes insane talking to those animals all the time.

Agreed on the Fables version of Cinderella. Makes me wish I chose Gepetto to be on my team, though I'm not sure enough people would get it - though I think there are a few veterans of my The Last Castle game.
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Dispaminite wrote:
1. Monorail Cat Vs Mr. Miyagi
Monorail Cat might make the trains run on time, but Mr. Miyagi is cool, calm, collected, and that SOB can catch flies with his chopsticks.
Advantage: Mr. Miyagi
Actually, Miyagi never caught a fly with chopsticks.
 
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The Queen vs. the Cactus is the first matchup that actually made me laugh out loud. Well-played.
 
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And, dude, have any of you seen What About Bob? Bob could drive even a sociopathic robot to the edge of insanity. Bob's got this clinched.
 
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1. Monorail Cat Vs Mr. Miyagi
The cat's fur will be in the paint brushes of the next Karate Kid!
Advantage: Mr. Miyagi


2. Nikkita Vs Godzilla
Nom, nom, nom, tasty Nikkita!
Advantage: Godzilla


3. Rain Vs Maximus Decimus Meridius
He can win as a general of a massive army. He can win as a slave in a gladiatorial Colosseum. His opponent will be "Raining" blood.
Advantage: Maximus Decimus Meridius


4. Schrodinger Vs Bill Cosby
HEY! HEY! HEY! It's Bill Cosby!
Advantage: Bill Cosby


5. Kate Beckett Vs Cinderella
Someone put in Cinderella? She couldn't even best her wicked step sisters, let alone a badass like Kate Beckett.
Advantage: Kat Beckett


6. Bob Vs Bender
If Bob would've been up against anyone he could've driven insane, I would have given the advantage. But it's Bender.
Advantage: Bender


7. Charlie Sheen Vs Jmilum
WINNING!!!* Now, if Charlie Sheen had werewolf blood in him rather than tiger blood, he'd be fucked, but it's tiger blood and jmilum doesn't roll that way.
Advantage: Charlie Sheen


8. Bambi Vs Ghost
Venison is a tasty meat.
Advantage: Ghost


9. Mr. T Vs Lore
Mr. T and his Night Elf Mohawk dude kick Lore's ass.
Advantage: Mr. T


0. Tron Vs The Black Knight
I'm not sure I care. Heads, Tron and Tails, Black Knight.
Advantage: Black Knight


A. Christopher Reeves Vs Hercule Poirot
Despicable, Dispaminite.
Advantage: Christopher Reeve


B. Michaelangelo Vs Conan
The paint brush is not mightier than the sword.
Advantage: Conan


C. Ninja Pirate Vs The Mad Hatter
If the Ninja Pirate was also a Monkey, he'd have the edge, but the Mad Hatter is too awesome to be taken down by a mere Ninja Pirate.
Advantage: Mad Hatter


D. Queen Elizabeth II Vs Cactus
The Queen has been effectively dealing with pricks for almost sixty year. She'll dispatch this monster prick as well.
Advantage: Queen Elizabeth


E. Woody Woodpecker Vs Conan O'Brien
It's not like he's fighting Jay Leno.
Advantage: Conan O'Brien
 
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I forgot to add my:

*If jmilum tells me he's registered for bgg.con, I may consider switching my vote.



But seriously, Charlie HAS TIGER BLOOD!!! A feline!

jmilum is a WEREWOLF HUNTER! A dog!
 
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Belash wrote:
I forgot to add my:

*If jmilum tells me he's registered for bgg.con, I may consider switching my vote.



But seriously, Charlie HAS TIGER BLOOD!!! A feline!

jmilum is a WEREWOLF HUNTER! A dog!
I don't have any qualm with jmilum getting through, and murph's argument is very convincing. But I would very much like the warlock vatican assassin to live up to his bi-winning ways.
 
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riot wrote:
Dispaminite wrote:
1. Monorail Cat Vs Mr. Miyagi
Monorail Cat might make the trains run on time, but Mr. Miyagi is cool, calm, collected, and that SOB can catch flies with his chopsticks.
Advantage: Mr. Miyagi
Actually, Miyagi never caught a fly with chopsticks.
pfft.
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No need to post my own list today, as Belash is spot on, except for a mere two matches.

Jmilum clearly kicks Charlie Sheen into tomorrow. If Sheen were half the man he thinks he is, this might be a close contest. But he's really just a sad, delusional little piece of self-destruction. Sorry if that's less light-hearted than the competition warrants.


And I am completely undecided on Bob vs. Bender. Can it be a draw? I predict they fall in love with each other, and live unhappily ever after. Bender sees Bob as the emotional punching bag he's always wanted, and Bob enjoys the attention. No winners here, except for the spectators.
 
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bwt2q wrote:


Jmilum clearly kicks Charlie Sheen into tomorrow. If Sheen were half the man he thinks he is, this might be a close contest. But he's really just a sad, delusional little piece of self-destruction. Sorry if that's less light-hearted than the competition warrants.
jmilum would lose to Cinderella. Charlie is all about WINNING!
 
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We HAVE to have an Avin vs jmilum counter claiming battle.
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dbmurph22 wrote:
Also, I'll be straight up. The two I submitted here were Bob and Jmilum.

Sheen may think he'll WINNING, but have you played with Jmilum the WW Hunter? One thing is that he does not suffer fools. Sheen may be a WINNING fool, but he's a FOOL. Jmilum will just grab him by the throat and not let go. What a terrible matchup for Sheen. He's no Patton. The only thing that could have beat Jmilum right here would have been a silver bullet itself.

Look at his games 563-635. 24-5 run there. There were more runs like that, too. He's been killed on Night 1 in 32 of his 169 games as a villager player. That's 1 in every 5 games. He's been killed on Night 2, 30 of his 169 games. Together 62 out of 169 games he gets killed in the first two nights. About 37%.

Me: 23 out of 103. About 22%. And we each have a pretty big set to get stats from. What about you?
I don't know about getting killed D1, but I'm 16th in WINNING games. I'm not going to blow my own trumpert here - I can't say I've been anywhere close to instrumental in the vast majority of those wins, but What would Charlie be doing here? That's right. He'd be WINNING.
 
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