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Subject: Chat logs with coworkers (inspired by Kuhrusty) rss

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Andrew Goenner
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Me: Now BOSS just opened girl scout cookies.

Coworker: Do you have super sonic cookie hearing?

Me: Any possible superpower that could involve cookies? Yeah...assume I have it. So, I could be the greatest superhero EVER as long as people in need had cookies on them to alert me to danger.

Coworker: LOL

Me: I'm like Aquaman, but instead of fish I commune with cookies.

Coworker: But cookies can't swim.

Me: In regards to my powers. He communes with fish. Me communes with cookies.

Coworker: well i see that. I'm just not seeing the value in communing with cookies.

Me: I don't see the value in communing with fish, but HE'S a fricking member of the JLA! ME? I do CS for websites. Life ain't fair.



Number 2:

Me: Here's something for you to chew on. so, let's say the zombie thing is a virus. Logically, the reason they come back dumb is because when they die, all oxygen and blood stops going to the brain and the brain dies. Solution, if you've contracted the virus, hook yourself up to a dialysis machine and oxygen tank and whatnot and keep blood and oxygen pumping to your brain after death. then, after reanimation, your brain still functions. now there's an army of INTELLIGENT zombies running around.

Coworker:holy crap
i am literally ordering a panic room to be built in this office right now

Me:LOL

Coworker:jsut for me

Me:But, when I die, I'll reanimate smart and KNOW you built a panic room.

And create some construction worker zombies to demolish the building
and crack the panic room like a crab shell
and then eat you

Coworker:well i will have zombie lasers on the outside of my panic room that can melt your reanimated brain

Me:Well, I wouldn't be dumb enough to get CLOSE to the panic room.

That's what my zombie army is for.

Coworker:well i will build a moat around my panic room and fill it with beautiful sea horses. Your smart reanimated sombies will not be able to resist cute sea horses

Me:Well....crap.
You're right.
I'll also have DUMB reanimated zombies

Coworker:game, set, match
damn you

Me:That will eat the sea horses.

Coworker:forgot about the dumb ones

Me:And then the smart ones will use the dumb ones as a bridge
to cross your moat.

Coworker:I will create nano robots that will infect your infected and cure them of the zombieidious

Me:Wait, you have nano robots in this scenario?

Coworker:f yah

Me:Then why not just cure me of my horrible zombiness immediately?
and save me the pain of eating human flesh eternally?

Coworker:because i don't like your attitude

Me:yeah well
my smart zombies NOT at your panic room will blow it up with a rocket launcher
before you can release your nano robots

Coworker:well all you will do is kill robot me, because i had already left on my hovercraft

Me:Yeah well, once that's realized I'll have the zombie president (who i made) press the big green button that activates the chip that we all know the government installs in us at birth
and make your head explode

Coworker:well while in the hovercraft I transfered my conciousness into the worldwideweb with my 4g verizon service
i am now everywhere
everywhere there is 4g that is

Me:But now that I've corrupted your nanorobots, I've reporammed them to take down every 4g tower in the world
thus trapping your consciousness in a dark limbo that my new regime will never allow to be rebuilt. The first law of Zombie America, "There shall be no 4G"

Coworker:while in the limbo, I meet Doc Brown and we build a time machine and go back and take you off of the oxygen machine after you die
dumb zombie

Me:how can a disembodied consciousness build ANYthing?
Yeah, that's what i thought.

Coworker:the fact that you have to ask that question tells me you are not ready for what I have to teach you

Me:It doesn't matter because little do you know that I've already smart zombified Doc Brown, but he's so old that you can't tell and while you built a time machine it has actually flung you 300 years into the future where there are no humans left on earth, just a world of zombies ruled by me, waiting for you to arrive and be sacrificed to me by my zombie priests.

Coworker:touche


.
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Andrew Brannan
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For Scenario number two, read the Monster Island trilogy by David Wellington.
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Andrew Goenner
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abrannan wrote:
For Scenario number two, read the Monster Island trilogy by David Wellington.


That's actually how the whole conversation got started. I was in the middle of telling him about those books when we got a little...sidetracked.
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Boo
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Awesome. I am very jealous.

I am the only geek where I work.

No one at my work place understood my recent quote from Conan the Barbarian - when they looked at me funny I said "Conan", they continued to look at me funny and one of them responded "O'Brien?". They also completely missed my comment last week; when given an updated deadline of May 15th I responded, "well I will just hop right in my Delorean". Again more funny looks. My team lead looked at my manager and said "probably another one of her geek references."
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Andrew Goenner
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walk_softly wrote:
Awesome. I am very jealous.

I am the only geek where I work.

No one at my work place understood my recent quote from Conan the Barbarian - when they looked at me funny I said "Conan", they continued to look at me funny and one of them responded "O'Brien?". They also completely missed my comment last week; when given an updated deadline of May 15th I responded, "well I will just hop right in my Delorean". Again more funny looks. My team lead looked at my manager and said "probably another one of her geek references."


That...it's just SAD! I'm so sorry.
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♪ Isaäc Bickërstaff ♫
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walk_softly wrote:
Awesome. I am very jealous.

I am the only geek where I work.

I feel for you. I can make an occasional Star Wars reference and get a chuckle, but if I go deeper into the geek canon, I get blank stares. I may as well be trying to show a card trick to a dog.
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I won a door prize at a company event, it was Wheel of Fortune. Everyone thought that was awesome because, you know, I play board games. Sigh....shake
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Andrew Goenner
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walk_softly wrote:
I won a door prize at a company event, it was Wheel of Fortune. Everyone thought that was awesome because, you know, I play board games. Sigh....shake


Wait...how is that NOT awesome?
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Rusty McFisticuffs
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MasterGeek wrote:
Me: I'm like Aquaman, but instead of fish I commune with cookies.

Coworker: ... thinking
Coworker: and eating a cookie
Me: you'll ruin your dinner
Me: unless you're having cookies for dinner,
Me: in which case, well played sir.
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Ed Rozmiarek
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Verkisto wrote:
walk_softly wrote:
Awesome. I am very jealous.

I am the only geek where I work.

I feel for you. I can make an occasional Star Wars reference and get a chuckle, but if I go deeper into the geek canon, I get blank stares. I may as well be trying to show a card trick to a dog.

I work on a Star Wars game with 400+ geeks. The Star Wars references and quotes never end.
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Andrew Goenner
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edroz wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
walk_softly wrote:
Awesome. I am very jealous.

I am the only geek where I work.

I feel for you. I can make an occasional Star Wars reference and get a chuckle, but if I go deeper into the geek canon, I get blank stares. I may as well be trying to show a card trick to a dog.

I work on a Star Wars game with 400+ geeks. The Star Wars references and quotes never end.


I'm ME. No matter who I work with, the Star Wars references never end. What Star Wars game do you work on? Or is that top secret (or listed on your profile and I'm just too stupid to just click your name and see)?
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Tara Roy
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MasterGeek wrote:
... hook yourself up to a dialysis machine and oxygen tank and whatnot and keep blood and oxygen pumping to your brain after death.


No, no, no. If you're gonna do this, you need [geekurl=http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-an-ecmo-machine.htm]ECMO[/geekurl] - similar to heart/lung machine. Your minion/sidekick will need to be a trained perfusionist or respiratory therapist.

I am willing to discuss terms.
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Ed Rozmiarek
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MasterGeek wrote:
edroz wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
walk_softly wrote:
Awesome. I am very jealous.

I am the only geek where I work.

I feel for you. I can make an occasional Star Wars reference and get a chuckle, but if I go deeper into the geek canon, I get blank stares. I may as well be trying to show a card trick to a dog.

I work on a Star Wars game with 400+ geeks. The Star Wars references and quotes never end.


I'm ME. No matter who I work with, the Star Wars references never end. What Star Wars game do you work on? Or is that top secret (or listed on your profile and I'm just too stupid to just click your name and see)?


A small thing called Star Wars: The Old Republic
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edroz wrote:
MasterGeek wrote:
edroz wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
walk_softly wrote:
Awesome. I am very jealous.

I am the only geek where I work.

I feel for you. I can make an occasional Star Wars reference and get a chuckle, but if I go deeper into the geek canon, I get blank stares. I may as well be trying to show a card trick to a dog.

I work on a Star Wars game with 400+ geeks. The Star Wars references and quotes never end.


I'm ME. No matter who I work with, the Star Wars references never end. What Star Wars game do you work on? Or is that top secret (or listed on your profile and I'm just too stupid to just click your name and see)?


A small thing called Star Wars: The Old Republic


Wow! That is just awesome, lucky you. My husband has been quietly petitioning to get this game when it comes out. Unfortunately for him he has an addiction problem with video games and I have banned MMO's from the house. However, I have just finished reading the Darth Bane books and have picked up Fatal Alliance so he might get his way on this only because I want to play it too.

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Andrew Goenner
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edroz wrote:
MasterGeek wrote:
edroz wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
walk_softly wrote:
Awesome. I am very jealous.

I am the only geek where I work.

I feel for you. I can make an occasional Star Wars reference and get a chuckle, but if I go deeper into the geek canon, I get blank stares. I may as well be trying to show a card trick to a dog.

I work on a Star Wars game with 400+ geeks. The Star Wars references and quotes never end.


I'm ME. No matter who I work with, the Star Wars references never end. What Star Wars game do you work on? Or is that top secret (or listed on your profile and I'm just too stupid to just click your name and see)?


A small thing called Star Wars: The Old Republic


Wow, that's pretty fantastic. The game I'm debating immersing myself back into the MMO world for.
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