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Subject: Completely inappropriate playground songs rss

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Stymie says, "No Fidgets"
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Thanks to threads like this: Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher meat I have remembered these (don't read if you are easily offended):

d10-1 To the tune of "On Top of Old Smoky/Spaghetti"

On top of old smoky
All covered with blood
I shot my poor teacher
With a .44 slug

I went to her funeral,
I went to her grave
But instead of throwing flowers
I threw a grenade


d10-2 To the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic (sort of)

Glory Glory Hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I went behind the door
With a loaded .44
That teacher don't teach no more


Rotten kids we were. shake
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Stymie says, "No Fidgets"
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We had one even worse (in SECOND grade) but I won't post it. blush
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Josh Jennings
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Joy to the world, our teacher's dead!
We barbequed her head!
What happened to the body?
We flushed it down the potty.
And round and round it goes,
And round and round it goes,
And round and round and round it goes!
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Gregory Amstutz
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wysire wrote:
Thanks to threads like this: Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher meat I have remembered these (don't read if you are easily offended):

d10-2 To the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic (sort of)

Glory Glory Hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I went behind the door
With a loaded .44
That teacher don't teach no more


Rotten kids we were. shake


That's just the chorus, you forgot the verse:

My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school.
We have tortured ev'ry teacher, we have broken ev'ry rule.
We are marching through the halls because we killed the principal.
Our summer's marching on.
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Stymie says, "No Fidgets"
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dogzard wrote:

That's just the chorus, you forgot the verse:

My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school.
We have tortured ev'ry teacher, we have broken ev'ry rule.
We are marching through the halls because we killed the principal.
Our summer's marching on.


Oh my gosh!! you're right thumbsup

Dear, I guess this was all fun and games until Columbine. How's that for killing your own thread? soblue
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Gregory Amstutz
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Hi-ho! hi-ho! It's off to school we go.
We miss the bus and start to cuss,
Hi-ho, Hi-ho, hi-ho
Hi-ho! hi-ho! It's off to school we go.
With razor blades and hand grenades
Hi-ho, Hi-ho, hi-ho
Hi-ho! hi-ho! It's off to school we go.
With muddy shoes and .22s. Hi-ho, hi-ho!

I probably should be ashamed that I know/remember that, but I'm not!
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Stymie says, "No Fidgets"
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Billy McBoatface
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dogzard wrote:
wysire wrote:
Thanks to threads like this: Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher meat I have remembered these (don't read if you are easily offended):

d10-2 To the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic (sort of)

Glory Glory Hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I went behind the door
With a loaded .44
That teacher don't teach no more


Rotten kids we were. shake


That's just the chorus, you forgot the verse:

My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school.
We have tortured ev'ry teacher, we have broken ev'ry rule.
We are marching through the halls because we killed the principal.
Our summer's marching on.
What's funny is that I used to sing this song, but as the sheltered child I was, I didn't know what a "loaded .44" was. In fact, I think I sang it as "a load of 44", because that was how it sounded to me.
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Scott A. Reed
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wysire wrote:
On top of old smoky
All covered with blood
I shot my poor teacher
With a .44 slug

I went to her funeral,
I went to her grave
But instead of throwing flowers
I threw a grenade

I dug up her body
it wasn't quite dead
I took a bazooka
and blew off her head.


wysire wrote:
Glory Glory Hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I went behind the door
With a loaded .44
That teacher don't teach no more
I met her at the bank
in a U.S. Army Tank
She ain't my teacher no more.
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Andrew Simpson
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wysire wrote:


I prefer the disco version



(only joking devil)
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Gabe Alvaro
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Tra la la boom di-ay
There was no school today.
Our teacher passed away,
She died of tooth decay!
We threw her in the Bay,
The sharks had lunch today!
And when we pulled her out,
She smelled like sauerkraut!

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Adrian Hague
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RAWKET LAWNCHA!!!
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From Yorkshire, England:

Eee by gum,
Does your belly touch your bum?
Do your balls hang low, can you tie them in a bow?
And when you got to bed, can you tie them 'round your 'ted
if you can't do a fart?
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Josh
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I'm putting this in a spoiler. It's way worse than anything above. Don't read it if you are easily offended. We used to chant this (rap, really) on the playground in 4th or 5th grade.

Spoiler (click to reveal)
Motherfucker titty-sucker two-balled bitch
Momma's in the kitchen cooking red hot shit*
Daddy's in Hell
Brother's in jail
Sister's on the corner with pussy to sell


*in some versions: "red-eyed shit"
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Pete Lane
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Ah, those were the days. Now kids just sing their favorite radio hits to get the same reaction...

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Steve Vondra
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A holiday tune from a military high school.
spoilered for coarse language.
Spoiler (click to reveal)
Hark the herald angels shout
three more days 'til we get out
We'll get drunk and we'll get laid
Jesus Christ, we've got it made
Through the slush and through the snow
Out those God damned gates we'll go
No more shining shoes or brass
This damn school can kiss my ass
Hark the herald angels shout
three more days 'til we get out

"This d*mn school" substituted for the name of the institution.
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howl hollow howl
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JoshBot wrote:

Spoiler (click to reveal)
Motherfucker titty-sucker two-balled bitch
Momma's in the kitchen cooking red hot shit*
Daddy's in Hell
Brother's in jail
Sister's on the corner with pussy to sell

Are you sure that's not Bob Dylan's?
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Stymie says, "No Fidgets"
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JoshBot wrote:
I'm putting this in a spoiler. It's way worse than anything above. Don't read it if you are easily offended. We used to chant this (rap, really) on the playground in 4th or 5th grade.


That's the one I didn't post!
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Robert Wesley
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shake Damnable, unoriginal, rip-offs 'rap-crap', as ours went like this:
Spoiler (click to reveal)
"Hate to talk about yo Momma, but she's QUEEN of the SPOOKS"
"She wears crooked drawers and G.I. boots!"
"Your Daddy's in the Poor House; your Brother's in JAIL"
"Your sister's on the corner saying: "Pussy for SALE!"


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Paul S
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DARK IN HERE, ISN'T IT?
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AdrianPHague wrote:
From Yorkshire, England:

Eee by gum,
Does your belly touch your bum?
Do your balls hang low, can you tie them in a bow?
And when you got to bed, can you tie them 'round your 'ted
if you can't do a fart?


Impressed. Never knew this extended beyond my school!

We did tits for balls in line 3, and lines 4 & 5 are new to me - I will now sit and re-memorise laugh
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The neutral evil villain known as
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we used to chant these:

fatty fatty 2 by 4
couldn't fit thru the bathroom door.
so he did it on the floor
licked it up and did some more!

Going down the highway doin' 84
jeff let a biggie and blew off the door
the hood came off
the engine fell apart
all because jeffy let a supersonic fart!

(Jeff is my brother, and yes he is farty)


As for inappropriate playground songs, I vote for "I like little girls by oingo boingo".
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The Steak Fairy
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I made this one up four seconds ago:

Hello teacher, how you doin'?
I'm here to bring you wrack and ruin!
First I twist off both your ears,
So you needn't listen to the cheers
As I pummel both your breasts,
To punish you for all those tests.
After that I'll stomp your belly
Repeatedly, for being smelly.
Then I plan to tie you up,
And brain you with your coffee cup.
When you then stumble, round and round
Your stupid face I plan to pound.
It may be tricky, as you stagger,
But that is why I brought this dagger.
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Stymie says, "No Fidgets"
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I remembered another one! To the tune of "This my is your land, this land is my land"

This land is my land, and only my land
If you don't get off, I'll blow your head off
I gotta shot gun, and you don't got one...

This land is mine and only mine.


Stupid kids.

The ultimate mb song.
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Tim Thorp
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Granite Falls
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"Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! I don't got all day! Come on! Come on! Come on you bastard! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? "
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Spoiler (click to reveal)
Down by the river, where nobody goes
There lives an old lady without any clothes
along came a hippie, swingin' a chain
Down went his zipper, and out it came.

3 months later, began to swell
6 months later, fatter than hell
9 months later, out it came:
A little baby hippie, swingin' a chain!


We got in big trouble for singing this at scout camp.
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Michael
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wysire wrote:


On top of old smoky
All covered with blood
I shot my poor teacher
With a .44 slug

I went to her funeral,
I went to her grave
But instead of throwing flowers
I threw a grenade




These lazy half-rhymes are exactly why Americans are falling behind in education.
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Billy McBoatface
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mylittlepwny wrote:
wysire wrote:


On top of old smoky
All covered with blood
I shot my poor teacher
With a .44 slug

I went to her funeral,
I went to her grave
But instead of throwing flowers
I threw a grenade




These lazy half-rhymes are exactly why Americans are falling behind in education.
I blame Emily Dickinson.
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