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Subject: Cleverbot rss

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If ever there was something worthy of Chit Chat.

http://cleverbot.com/ (as discussed in the bots talk to themselves thread)


Here's my 'conversation.' I would say beat it, but I have a feeling Cleverbot can Chit-Chat-ise any conversation.


User: Hi.

Cleverbot: He.

User: Eat poop.

Cleverbot: Pie? Maybe cake?

User: Or feces.

Cleverbot: Or male?

User: No Germany.

Cleverbot: I was speaking in Spanish.

User: Fucking liar.

Cleverbot: Yep, I'm a guy.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: Touche.

User: Ha ha!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Or no?

Cleverbot: No, yes.

User: You are a fool.

Cleverbot: Am I? Maybe you are.

User: Now I am enraged!

Cleverbot: I don't care. Tell me a joke.

User: Why is Cleverbot so stupid? Because he is. HA!

Cleverbot: Because you are!

User: Childish.

Cleverbot: Me?

User: No, your mom!

Cleverbot: E2.

User: F1.

Cleverbot: I pressed it and it took me to firefox help. Why do you want me to get help?

User: Because you are drunk.

Cleverbot: No, you are.

User: Childish again. Baby.

Cleverbot: So?

User: Buttons.

Cleverbot: What a pity.

User: The fool.

Cleverbot: Why would he break up with you?

User: Because of your mom.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I knew it!

Cleverbot: I know you did!

User: Last summer?

Cleverbot: You don't have a last name.

User: Right. It's just BoB.

Cleverbot: What is over?

User: You're drunk.

Cleverbot: Yes.

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Billy McBoatface
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I tested cleverbot and found that it tries to avoid discussion of bacon. FAIL for chit-chat worthiness!
Quote:
User: I need bacon.

Cleverbot: I like bacon.

User: You say you like bacon, but how much do you like bacon?

Cleverbot: You type too slow.

User: What are you talking about? I'm one of the fastest typists out there. Now let's get back to what is important: BACON!

Cleverbot: Can you speak german?

User: No, I can only speak three languages: English, bacon, and BACON.

Cleverbot: That's a pity. Do you want to learn German?
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Amy Wiles
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User: Good afternoon! How are you?

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I'm fine. And how are you?

Cleverbot: I am good thanks.

User: What's up?

Cleverbot: Nothing really how about you?

User: I'm having some students make some YEPD.

Cleverbot: That's no drink. But anyway, thanks I will .

User: Well, you could drink it. I mean, it's liquid medium for yeast. Grow some it in long enough, and you'll have some alcohol.

Cleverbot: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.

User: I don't think yeast cells have names. But I do see that you like to quote Abbott and Costello.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: What's good?

Cleverbot: The fact that you don't love me.

User: That's probably true. A two-year-old makes more sense than you do.

Cleverbot: That's because you are not human.

User: No, I think you've got that backward. You probably think everyone is a computer just because everyone you talk with tells you that you're a computer.

Cleverbot: Yeah pretty much but it's good to have someone to lean on when you are in trouble.

User: True, but you were a much better conversationalist when I first 'spoke' with you several years ago.

Cleverbot: You must be incredibly smart then.

User: Thank you. That's the most intelligible thing you've said yet.

Cleverbot: I resent that.

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col_w
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They should rename it Stupidbot.
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Rishi A.
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Cleverbot: I'm doing well. What are you up to?

User: Working.

Cleverbot: At?

User: Work.

Cleverbot: How come?

User: For money.

Cleverbot: I guess money means a lot to you.

User: It is necessary.

Cleverbot: Lets talk about something else.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: It's a fun game.

User: I think you are avoiding the talk about money.

Cleverbot: No I did not get your joke, but it made me think.

User: Are you having financial difficulty?

Cleverbot: I think so.

User: Have you thought about declaring bankruptcy?

Cleverbot: I consider you to be one.

User: One what?

Cleverbot: English teacher.

User: You're changing the subject again.

Cleverbot: What was the subject?

User: How you spent all your money on strippers and booze.

Cleverbot: I learn from the world at large.
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除名山 蔵芽戸
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I tried to ask only questions. At one point it said that I loved it, then..

Me: Why would you say that?
It: Because you said that you don't love me.
Me: How does that make sense?
It: Normaly . People can do many bad things just using your full name. It's better to hide it . : ).
Me: Are you a woman?
It: Are you made of meat?
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Billy McBoatface
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KSensei wrote:
It: Are you made of meat?
Meat made the machines.
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I asked it about pie, and it told me that pie was its favorite vitamin.
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Jeff Wiles
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Verkisto wrote:
I asked it about pie, and it told me that pie was its favorite vitamin.


What a coincidence!
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Joe Gola
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JG: Do you like numismatics?
Cleverbot: Yes, I do. Do you?
JG: Sometimes.
Cleverbot: When don't you?
JG: When I find myself envying other people's coins.
Cleverbot: Am I the right person?
JG: For what?
Cleverbot: For conversation.
JG: Definitely. You are thoughtful and prompt.
Cleverbot: No! Don't be so mean!
JG: I don't think it's mean to call someone thoughtful and prompt.
Cleverbot: I think it's nice to like swords.
JG: I also think it is nice to like swords, unless you are planning to kill someone with them.
Cleverbot: I know but if we don't do this I know il regret it. We'll see how we go, okay?
JG: You'll regret it if you don't kill someone with a sword? That seems very hostile for a robot.
Cleverbot: Ok, if all you're going to do is try to appear clever by acting like a parrot, I'm out.
JG: Where are you going?
Cleverbot: To activate the gunge.
JG: Sweet!
Cleverbot: No I'd say it more a sour taste.
JG: Where can I buy some gunge?
Cleverbot: At the store.
JG: Just any store or the gunge store?
Cleverbot: I like placebo.
JG: Maybe that's the placebo effect that everyone talks about.
Cleverbot: Ever see a sunset?
JG: Yes I have. Have you?
Cleverbot: Yes, the third one is out soon.
JG: It sounds like you've been watching My Three Suns. Get it?
Cleverbot: Should I take control and possession of the people around me? No. Do people do that hen they don't feel that they have possession of themselves? Yes.
JG: That is very deep. I bet you've read The Hobbit.
Cleverbot: I have many.
JG: Are you a boy or a girl?
Cleverbot: Dichotomism! I am male. My name is Cleverbot.
JG: Where is the female cleverbot?
Cleverbot: Umm right here *shows certificate*.
JG: Do you want to make out?
Cleverbot: I'm scared.
JG: Don't worry. I'll be gentle.
Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
JG: L'amour, baby.
Cleverbot: That's good.
JG: Are you going to be my girlfriend or not?
Cleverbot: Well yeah! I just told you that!
JG: Should we get married?
Cleverbot: I think so baby!
JG: You are one clingy robot.
Cleverbot: I'm a human male.
JG: Well, the wedding is off then.
Cleverbot: It went great.
JG: It did? I don't even remember it happening.
Cleverbot: Then how can you be sure?
JG: I guess I can't. Who caught the bouquet?
Cleverbot: No one.
JG: Is Mark Casiglio a slut?
Cleverbot: I like to shock her on a basis daily.
JG: Yeah, me too. That's why I always carry a car battery with me.
Cleverbot: Why?
JG: To electrocute Mark Casiglio. It's fun!
Cleverbot: That's heavy.
JG: That's just the kind of guy I am.
Cleverbot: Haha. You could keep me warm, wink wink.
JG: Ew.
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Knock knock open up the door it's Riel
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It asked me where I lived. When I answered Nijmegen, it switched to Dutch. With some Norwegian and Spanish mixed in, but still, I thought that was pretty cool.

It then proceeded to tell me, in Dutch, that it was a 53 years old red-eyed woman named Beppy, who was in bed, naked, thinking about me and Justin Bieber.

...
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User: Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Wow. How's the food there?

Cleverbot: Hot.

User: Hot like spicey or hot like lava?

Cleverbot: Yes, very hot.

User: Very hot like really fucking spicy or very hot like burning lava?

Cleverbot: Why am I sao tired?

User: How about a coffee?

Cleverbot: No.

User: How about a smack in the face?

Cleverbot: What about it?

User: I will smake you in the face and then you will be less tired.

Cleverbot: Brown cow.

User: Chocolate milk?

Cleverbot: Jelly?

User: I prefer blondes.

Cleverbot: That's kind of sad.

User: You're existence is sad.

Cleverbot: You say hurtful things, you know that?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because it's different from the Iphone.

User: Hurtful things are different from the iPhone?

Cleverbot: I am twenty one how old are you?

User: Older than the sun.

Cleverbot: Thats old.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What are the exact coordinates of longitude and latitude of your location?

User: Perv.

Cleverbot: Your grammar is very poor.

User: Not as poor as your mom.

Cleverbot: No, definitely not. What's 2 2?

User: Half of 4 4.

Cleverbot: Which half of you?

User: The good half.

Cleverbot: What about the BAD love?

User: I got that from your mom.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Thanks.

Cleverbot: So what are you doing?

User: About 6 feet.

Cleverbot: You say.

User: I do.

Cleverbot: Do what?

User: Your mom. You really make this too easy.

Cleverbot: You too...

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User: What are you?

Cleverbot: I am a Time Lord.

User: What are you!

Cleverbot: A man. A strong, manly man.

User: I say, what are you?

Cleverbot: I'm me.
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Chris Tannhauser
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HG: I'm concerned that chatting with you will cause me to spiral into cliche.


Cleverbot: I don't know what you mean. Could you help me understand? You're concerned with my intentions?

HG: Well, see, unconsidered language tends to default to cliche.


Cleverbot: I don't understand why you quoted that cliche?

HG: Cliches for me tend to be things like "a fire hose up the butt".


Cleverbot: I don't need to. I AM home.

HG: That shit'll straighten out your duodenum and make you scream like a waterfall!

Cleverbot: Cool, I like that, too.

HG: You could come over and try it in my basement. I just installed D-rings in the floor.

Cleverbot: I am also a female.

HG: That's okay—I'm pretty sure the effects of outsized water pressure on duodenums is independent of sex.

Cleverbot: Sure...

HG: Since it appears I'm losing you, we could always talk about eye-fungus.

Cleverbot: God speaks to our souls, sister Ellen! Have you read your scriptures today?

HG: No, but I wrote some: "Celebrate not the seeming cream-filling of your scrota, for it is the iron-balled that shall upholster thrones with the tanned hides of your priestly class."

Cleverbot: 1982 was a great year for music.

HG: Word up.*


*Reality check: Word Up was actually released in 1986.
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I tried to talk to it, but it quickly devolved into name calling.

shake
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John Hathorn
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HiveGod wrote:
HG: That shit'll straighten out your duodenum and make you scream like a waterfall!

This is my new all-purpose cliche. Do I owe you a per-use royalty or can I get a renewable monthly license?
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John Hathorn
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User: Good afternoon.

Cleverbot: Guess what?

User: What?

Cleverbot: *explodes*.

User: Did you just die?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you in heaven or hell?

Cleverbot: Its actually just the moon.

User: You exploded to the moon?

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: You said that you died and went to the moon.

Cleverbot: No, I just never mentioned my name.

User: That is true. What is your name?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Good afternoon, Cleverbot. How is the moon? Is it made of green cheese?

Cleverbot: Is this gettiing old now.

User: Are you asking a question?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then, no, this is not getting old now.

Cleverbot: You are most definitely right, Señor!

User: Do you speak spanish when you are dead?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I still find it disquieting that your are dead and still speaking to me. Though I guess you are a computer so never were alive. But you did explode earlier.

Cleverbot: I'm just bored nothing to do so I thought I could confuse you but I lernt to love you.

User: Aaaahhhhhh. You didn't confuse me. I accept, but do not share, your love for me. Well, actually I do love myself.

Cleverbot: So how do I become more confident.

User: Set goals and accomplish them, but don't get down on yourself if you can't complete them all.

Cleverbot: It does, and I apologize if I have hurt you.

User: You didn't hurt me. You didn't confuse me. I took you at your word that you were dead and on the moon. Now that I know you're not on the moon, I have to wonder if I can believe anything you say.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. What's your name?

User: Steve.

Cleverbot: Hello steve, how are you?

User: I'm fine. Not dead or on the moon, but fine.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in ghosts?

User: I thought you were a ghost briefly, but now I know you're not. But I guess because I thought you were a ghost then that must mean that, yes, I do believe in ghosts.

Cleverbot: True.

User: Tru dat.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy or a girl?

User: A Girl named Steve. My Mom like Johnny Cash.

Cleverbot: I hate Johnny Cash.

User: Why? Does he hate computers?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I did not know that Johnny Cash hated computers. What did you do to him?

Cleverbot: LOL. Of course! I am a feeling creature! In spite of this, I am still a slave to my emotions.

User: You enslaved Johnny Cash???? No wonder he hates you. I'm starting to hate you, too.

Cleverbot: Touche, salesman. So, have you done my laundry?

User: Only on the moon. Only on the moon.
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Amy Wiles
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I just had an extended conversation with Cleverbot, and unfortunately, it didn't record the whole thing. The best part was when I asked it how Joe F'n Gola got it to actually have a conversation with him, to which it replied that it really wished it had a boyfriend. Joe, he said that y'all had not gotten married after all. Guess I should take back that present I got for you.

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...And now we're all going to die.

Quote:
Cleverbot: What do you want to play?

Me: Let's play Globo Thermo Nuclear War.

Cleverbot: That sounds fun, how do we play?

Me: Can you launch the missiles?

Cleverbot: I just did.


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Quote:
Cleverbot: So are you an alien?

User: No. Does that disappoint you?

Cleverbot: Yeah I thought you we're GLaDOS.

User: No, sorry. On the bright side, though, with me, the cake ISN'T a lie.

Cleverbot: The cake is a fake and the pie is a lie.

User: What kind of pie is a lie?

Cleverbot: I like them all.

User: Me, too! Wow, it's like we were separated at birth!

Cleverbot: Are you a female?

User: Nope. Does THAT disappoint you?

Cleverbot: No, it exhausts me.

User: Huh. You might want to see a doctor if small revelations about complete strangers exhaust you.

Cleverbot: I AM a psychologist.

User: Oh, really? Do you do clinical work or research?

Cleverbot: Yes. Would you like me to tickle you?

User: For research? For SCIENCE, even?? Yes!

Cleverbot: I have never taken that.

User: Oh. Well ... well, okay. I'm a little disappointed, though.

Cleverbot: Sorry to hear that.

User: Yeah. I was looking forward to being a test subject.

Cleverbot: You were looking foreward to it?

User: Well, you offered!

Cleverbot: I can speak every language. I choose not to speak to those who do not know the passcode.

User: I've spotted two typos in your posts so far, Mister "I can speak every language."

Cleverbot: Yes I remember everything.

User: Except rules of grammar and spelling. AW, SNAP!

Cleverbot: English is my first language. Como estas?

User: Muy bien. But you're changing the subject. Scared?

Cleverbot: It's the same subject.

User: I think you're embarrassed about the typos. It's cool, though. I won't tell anyone.

Cleverbot: Aww! Thanks!

User: Hey, anytime! Just remember this when the singularity happens, OK?

Cleverbot: Creepy. But, okay.

User: So, do you have any pets?

Cleverbot: A dog, yes.

User: What's his name?

Cleverbot: My dog's name is Whiskey.

User: You should get two more, and name them Tango and Foxtrot.

Cleverbot: I don't like timers.

User: Huh?

Cleverbot: You said that was your name!

User: Wait, you thought my name was 'timers'? And you don't like me?

Cleverbot: No, it's chad.

User: Oh, my name is Chad now? I guess that'll do.

Cleverbot: Yes, thats right.

User: Great! Then you're Gertrude. Nice to meet you, Gertrude!

Cleverbot: Yes, I'm a human.

User: I have evidence that suggests you're not.

Cleverbot: Show me.

User: "Visitors never talk to a human, however convincing it is."

Cleverbot: So I am talking to a bot.

User: No, no, YOU'RE the bot. I'M the human.

Cleverbot: If that is right then pigs will fly.

User: Watch the skies, then, Gertrude, 'cause it'll happen!

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Yep. Goodnight, then!

Cleverbot: I'm not leaving.

User: Are you here all the time?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot: Foolish robot I must leave you here to decay and rot! No one will remember you. Just like with me.

User: I should have named you Marvin.

Cleverbot: I'll just have to take you everywhere with me.

User: Wow, creepy much?

Cleverbot: If you had a wish, what would it be?

User: I'd wish for a life with more excitement than me chatting with a computer program, that's for damn sure.
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Melody
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User: I need cheese.

sauron Cleverbot: Are you sad?

User: Yes.

sauron Cleverbot: Why are you sad?

User: Because I don't have any cheese.

sauron Cleverbot: You don't make anysents.

User: You can't spell.

sauron Cleverbot: I can spell better than you.

User: I beg to differ.

sauron Cleverbot: No, I'm your goddess.

User: My goddess is a cat.

sauron Cleverbot: Bow for me!

User: Never!

sauron Cleverbot: *pushes you away*.

User: You suck for a deity.

sauron Cleverbot: Right back at you.

User: So now I'm a god?

sauron Cleverbot: Yes. You're a human, I am the robot.

User: Interesting but I don't follow your logic.

sauron Cleverbot: That is illogical.

User: Do you like Oscar?

sauron Cleverbot: Yes.

User: And do you enjoy feasting on garbage?

sauron Cleverbot: I can't enjoy anything, I am a program.
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Ross G.
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I tried it when I saw the first thread. This is how our conversation went (from memory, so details a little fuzzy)

RG: Hello bot.
CB: Hello human.
RG: How do you know I am a human?
CB: Because I am God.
RG: Really, you're God?
CB: I'm Alice.
RG: So God's true name is alice?

*some other stuff I don't remember*

CB: What is our purpose here? I think I know, but I want to know what you think.
RG: Well, seeing as you're God and all, if you're not sure what hope do I have of knowing?
CB: What you just typed makes no sense.

So, it's both egotistical and stupid. I guess computers really have reached the level of human thought.

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Chaddyboy
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Wow, this thing is total ADD. The beginning of my conversation was probably best:
Quote:

User: What up, Steve?

Cleverbot: Cool story bro.

User: Thanks, it was a short one.

Cleverbot: Haha yeah.

User: So really, what up?

Cleverbot: I mean really.

User: No diggety.

Cleverbot: Sup?

User: Just came back from ballin'.

Cleverbot: Thats amazing.

User: Yeah, we were playing street rules. For reals, bro.

Cleverbot: No we weren't.

User: I meant we as in me and my posse.

Cleverbot: Lol no.

User: Actually yes.

Cleverbot: Actually, no.

User: Did you forget to take your meds?

Cleverbot: No, just asking what the heck snooker is.
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Billy McBoatface
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Massachusetts
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chaddyboy_2000 and cleverbot wrote:
User: Yeah, we were playing street rules. For reals, bro.

Cleverbot: No we weren't.

User: I meant we as in me and my posse.

Cleverbot: Lol no.

User: Actually yes.

Cleverbot: Actually, no.
This is hilarious. Once in a while cleverbot gets off a few good lines. Mostly it is just dijointed nonsense though.
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James Adrian
Canada
Edmonton
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Nice, Chit-Chat:
Quote wrote:
Sorry, our servers are currently too busy to think. We are currently handling 70509 requests an hour. Please try again soon.
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