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Subject: I just want to buy the knife, lady. rss

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Paul DeStefano
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So I was at a fair this weekend, as for some reason, they were everywhere this weekend.

One vendor was selling various fantasy type weapons, from plastic stuff for the kids to live steel and pretty display daggers.

And on the back wall of the booth was a very distinct shaped weapon.



This is a crescent moon boline. A ritual dagger used for various pagan earth religions. You can't get the damn things shipped into NY, being double edged and concealable.

Anyway, being a practitioner of such things, I was excited to find a nice one. I asked the sales guy if I could see it.

He started giving a little speech as he unsheathed it "This is a boline, used in Wicca and pagan ritual for harvesting herbs with this side and then cutting with this side."

"I know," I said "I actively practice, that's why I wanted to see it."

"I don't think you mean the way that sounded," a woman next to me said. "You sound like you're declaring yourself a pagan."

"Yes," I nodded.

Her face dropped. "Are you telling me you're some godless soul?"

"Actually, pagan means many gods."

"What has the Lord Almighty ever done to you to make you turn your back on him?"

At this point the merchant stepped in and tried to tell her this wasn't the place for this.

"Not the place? You're going to sell a sacrificial knife to some satanist and you want me to watch?"

"I don't worship or even believe in satan. I worship symbols of seasons and elements, that's it. This is to cut herbs."

"LIAR! Someone call security. They have to know about this."

The merchant then outright asked the lady to leave. At this point, everyone in the area was looking.

"This is a family fair - you're kind isn't welcome here."

That's when the merchant insisted she leave as my son who was standing next to me said "I'm his family".

I bought the knife. He apologized profusely and gave me a discount for being one who "practiced the craft".

"I thought the witch hunts were over," I said.

"So sorry," he said a final time, shaking his head. "In words you would understand, have a good day and blessed be."

I didn't see the woman, or security, for the remainder of the day.
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Antigonus Monophthalmus
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I wished I believed in things so I had stories to get indignant about

Thank you for letting me live vicariously through such bizarreness.
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True Blue Jon
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Geosphere wrote:
"I thought the witch hunts were over," I said.


Me too. I'm glad that the merchant and security sided with you.
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Paul DeStefano
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quozl wrote:
Geosphere wrote:
"I thought the witch hunts were over," I said.


Me too. I'm glad that the merchant and security sided with you.


I was actually kind of nervous about security, but its one of those things where you feel like you've done something wrong even though you haven't.
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Paul DeStefano
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BagpipeDan wrote:
Thank you for letting me live vicariously through such bizarreness.


You're better off not actually being there, believe me.
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Chad Ellis
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You never answered her question...what DID the Lord Almighty ever do to you?
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CHAPEL
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And this was in New York?

I would have told that lady to piss off right quick before I summoned my pet chupacapbra to eat her soul.
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Paul DeStefano
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MWChapel wrote:
And this was in New York?

I would have told that lady to piss off right quick before I summoned my pet chupacapbra to eat her soul.


Dude, NY is no where near Mexico.
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Paul DeStefano
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Chad_Ellis wrote:
You never answered her question...what DID the Lord Almighty ever do to you?


I was trying to think of some sort of comeback, but they all got me in a deeper hole, so I was fairly happy the sales guy stepped in.
 
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CHAPEL
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Geosphere wrote:
MWChapel wrote:
And this was in New York?

I would have told that lady to piss off right quick before I summoned my pet chupacapbra to eat her soul.


Dude, NY is no where near Mexico.


Hey, it didn't sound like absurdity was out of the equation at this point.
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Paul DeStefano
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MWChapel wrote:
And this was in New York?


On a more serious note - yeah, right?

I've never had this type of crap happen in NY before. I was really seriously surprised.

Edit: that's not true. I do recall an instance upstate.
 
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Ze Masqued Cucumber
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Geosphere wrote:
I didn't see the woman [...] for the remainder of the day.

Too bad, you could have tested the bitch-gutting suitability of your recent acquisition...
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Andrew Rowse
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More importantly, did your sacrifices to satan work out better with the new knife?
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KAndrw wrote:
More importantly, did your sacrifices to satan work out better with the new knife?


He probably harvested many hearts..er I mean herbs from many virgins..er I mean vines.
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Tony Bosca
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Crazy ladies are the spice of life. You should have told her you had plans to kill her cat and drink it's blood, afterall, that's what she wanted to hear.
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Paul DeStefano
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blakstar wrote:
Crazy ladies are the spice of life. You should have told her you had plans to kill her cat and drink it's blood, afterall, that's what she wanted to hear.


It might even be what she heard.
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Tony Bosca
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Geosphere wrote:
blakstar wrote:
Crazy ladies are the spice of life. You should have told her you had plans to kill her cat and drink it's blood, afterall, that's what she wanted to hear.


It might even be what she heard.


You helped her confirm her deep-seated suspicions of you and your family, that you exist simply to "try" her, tempt her to the darkside. Get behind me satan! JC wins this time... but who knows... if she lets her paranoia wall down a little bit she could very well end up chopping the devil's weed with you and your minions (you and your lovely family) one day.

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Andrew Brannan
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Geosphere wrote:
Chad_Ellis wrote:
You never answered her question...what DID the Lord Almighty ever do to you?


I was trying to think of some sort of comeback, but they all got me in a deeper hole, so I was fairly happy the sales guy stepped in.


I personally think the best response would have been, "Absolutely nothing."

Of course, I also think that there need to be different words for Capital-G Godless (non-Christian) and little-g godless (atheist).
 
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John O'Haver PhoDOGrapher
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Looks like there is a bottle opener on the end of the handle, too. Might be awkward to use, though, having to grasp it at the sharp pointy end.
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TheChin! wrote:
KAndrw wrote:
More importantly, did your sacrifices to satan work out better with the new knife?


He probably harvested many hearts..er I mean herbs from many virgins..er I mean vines.
Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
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Dwayne Hendrickson
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One thing that I appreciate more than anything, is learning about grace. Once I learned how much grace has been granted to me, I start to extend that grace to others, towards how they live, what they believe, who they are.

Sorry that this happened.
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True Blue Jon
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okiedokie wrote:
One thing that I appreciate more than anything, is learning about grace. Once I learned how much grace has been granted to me, I start to extend that grace to others, towards how they live, what they believe, who they are.

Sorry that this happened.


“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” --Jesus

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Elijah Lau
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Geosphere wrote:
"This is a family fair - you're kind isn't welcome here."

That's when the merchant insisted she leave as my son who was standing next to me said "I'm his family".


You've got one cool kid. thumbsup
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Eric "Shippy McShipperson" Mowrer
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I'm not in any position to judge, of course, but IMO there are going to be a LOT of Christians in hell. It's like these people have never even cracked open the New Testament.

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, Paul.
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Green Dan
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It's odd how many christians equate satanist and pagan. I can sort of see ' if your not with christ you must be with satan' but it does arrogantly dismiss someone elses beliefs. I'm gonna start equating christian and muslim, since they are basically the same. Probably more so than satanism and paganism. (noting the difference between Leveyan satanism and devil worship).
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