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Subject: I did something stupid and I don't know how to fix it. rss

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John D
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I was on the phone with my girl friend and said I wanted to lick her ***** and ***.

Problem?

She had her phone on that stupid speaker thing while in the car with her parents.




I really don't know how to fix this...

Do I just not look at her parents anymore?

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Marshall P.
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Toolian wrote:
I was on the phone with my girl friend and said I wanted to lick her ***** and ***.

Problem?

She had her phone on that stupid speaker thing while in the car with her parents.




I really don't know how to fix this...

Do I just not look at her parents anymore?



Well, definitely don't give them one of those European kiss-on-the-cheek type greetings. They know where your mouth has been.
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John D
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Well, there from England... so...

 
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Marshall P.
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Toolian wrote:
Well, there from England... so...



Oh... well... then I think you're fine actually. Carry on.
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Chad Ellis
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That reminds me of the bit that ends with the sister opening the door and saying, "Dad says to give him a blow job. Or, if you won't do it, I can. Or, if necessary, he'll come downstairs and do it himself. Just whatever you do, stop leaning on the intercom button."
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Kelsey Rinella
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Make a joke of it--put breath mints on your Christmas list or something. Sure, it's mortifying now, but it's not ultimately a big deal. Everybody knows their children will one day have sex, and if it's with a partner as giving as yourself, so much the better.

Unless she's 14 or something. Then you should probably break up.

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Kissa
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Toolian wrote:
I was on the phone with my girl friend and said I wanted to lick her ***** and ***.

Problem?

She had her phone on that stupid speaker thing while in the car with her parents.




I really don't know how to fix this...

Do I just not look at her parents anymore?



I don't think there is any fix. If it were me, I'd apologize to the rents directly once and then carry on as you normally would with them. Ignoring the issue or not looking at them will just reinforce things and make gatherings super awkward for the rest of your lives.
 
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Paul DeStefano
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OK - rule one - ALWAYS announce "you're on speaker".

How long have you guys been going out and what are the ages involved?
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Xander Fulton
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Personally, I'd double-down on it.

Next time you are all having dinner together...start talking sexy talk with her, again!

REALLY freak them out!

Hah-HAH!
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Dwayne Hendrickson
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If they are from England then here is the perfect solution... they misunderstood you. you didn't say

"I want to lick your ***** and ***."

You actually said

"I want to kick more hussy and crass."

Then explain that 'kick' means to drink quickly, like 'kick back a few beers' and that 'hussy and crass' is local slang for a local micro brewery, hussy = hops and crass = ale.


See, all good!
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fightcitymayor
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okiedokie wrote:
"I want to kick more hussy and crass."


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Dwayne Hendrickson
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I guess the real question here that isn't being asked is:

Why are you WANTING to lick her ***** and ***? Does she have the habit of spilling chocolate on herself? Does she wear bacon-panties? Does she normally drive around town sitting in a large bowl of egg-nog?

I mean, really, ask yourself these questions and I think you'll be getting closer to the root of your problem.
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Joe Salamone
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You could tell her mother you were talking to her and not to her daughter. On second thought, scratch that idea.


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Ben Vincent
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Is there any chance she owns a cat and a donkey?
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Kelsey Rinella
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SabreRedleg wrote:
Is there any chance she owns a cat and a donkey?


That would actually be creepier.
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The Steak Fairy
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I really wouldn't worry about this shit from the standpoint of the parents. The minute they ditched the daughter they went and had the best sex they've had in years. From now on you're going to have to lick twice as fast though, if you want the daughter to get over it.
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Kissa
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okiedokie wrote:
I guess the real question here that isn't being asked is:

Why are you WANTING to lick her ***** and ***?


I can appreciate the licking of the ***** but the *** is just icky. When people refer to it as a fudge tunnel, you know that's not really fudge?. gulp



Yes, I know, some people like their salad tossed and others like to do it.
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Andrew Goenner
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KissaTaikuri wrote:
okiedokie wrote:
I guess the real question here that isn't being asked is:

Why are you WANTING to lick her ***** and ***?




Yes, I know, some people like their salad tossed and others like to do it.


More cookies tossed, if you ask me.
 
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Todays avatar: Last time I saw Axl he was waiting for his forever home.
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Geosphere wrote:
ALWAYS announce "you're on speaker".



Just in case you missed it the first time.

Sidebar:

Quote:
I wanted to lick her ***** and ***.


She only has one tit?
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Dwayne Hendrickson
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Is her name Delores?
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In high school I had this conservative chic from a conservative family, and she wasn't supposed to, you know, do anything before marriage.

Her dad buys these paintings he thinks are a good investment, and for some reason hangs them in her room, next to the bed. Then one day, after I've left, he enters her room, points at one of the paintings and asks her: "What is that?"

You go figure what "that" was. Hint: it came from me.
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Andrew Goenner
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Mondainai wrote:
In high school I had this conservative chic from a conservative family, and she wasn't supposed to, you know, do anything before marriage.

Her dad buys these paintings he thinks are a good investment, and for some reason hangs them in her room, next to the bed. Then one day, after I've left, he enters her room, points at one of the paintings and asks her: "What is that?"

You go figure what "that" was. Hint: it came from me.


I hate when I leave MY tie hanging from a painting of a purely platonic friend. I know how you feel.
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mdp4828 wrote:
Toolian wrote:
Well, there from England... so...



Oh... well... then I think you're fine actually. Carry on.


Maybe the problem is that he said p**** and a** instead of c*** and a**e. But don't worry, Britons are quite open to other dialects.
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Lawson
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HeinzGuderian wrote:
mdp4828 wrote:
Toolian wrote:
Well, there from England... so...



Oh... well... then I think you're fine actually. Carry on.


Maybe the problem is that he said p**** and a** instead of c*** and a**e. But don't worry, Britons are quite open to other dialects.


OK, my dialect-discord will be showing through full-on now.

In Briton-ese, if you're licking a c***, aren't you licking one of your friends (or mates or whatever one calls such a group) or somebody supporting some other group of footballers (or whatever kind of ballers is relevant here)?

I mean, what else is a c***?
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CHAPEL
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corross wrote:


I mean, what else is a c***?


Last time I was in England, it seemed like everything was a cunt. Or at least they tended to us the word fairly liberally.
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