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Subject: Help: gift ideas for a significant other? rss

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Brook Gentlestream
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I'm kind of new to this whole "having a girlfriend" thing -- especially one who isn't a geek like me. I've never actually had to do much holiday shopping and such before because its mostly me and my buds and my co-workers. But now there's Her, and I'd like to make Christmas a little special for her.

I'm not quite sure how to do that. Maybe a gift. Maybe jewelery?

She doesn't wear necklaces. I gave her a diamond bracelet in the summer, diamond earrings sometime after that, and some saphire earings for her birthday with a matching ring. So I'm thinking maybe the jewelery thing has been overdone.

I can't buy her clothes because she has specific tastes that I can't quite decipher, regardless of how many shopping trips I go with her.

I'm a bit stumped. Buying gifts for the guys was easy -- everyone's getting mini convection ovens this year and a few are getting sword-canes or board games. One is getting Lego Optimus Prime, just for the hell of it.

I don't think she needs or wants a sword-cane. Or a mini oven.

Any ideas would be welcome.
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A nice night out. Dinner, but not your usual place; go more upscale.
This way you get to enjoy her present, too.
See? Thinking ahead!

(Definitely avoid clothes.)
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Matt Riddle
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I am stll mystified that you exchange gifts with your male friends. that does not compute.

if all else fails I go with a purse or coat. In my experience, a woman can never have too many pursues or coats. especially an expensive purse she doesnt need.
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John Hathorn
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lordrahvin wrote:
I'm kind of new to this whole "having a girlfriend" thing -- especially one who isn't a geek like me. I've never actually had to do much holiday shopping and such before because its mostly me and my buds and my co-workers. But now there's Her, and I'd like to make Christmas a little special for her.

I'm not quite sure how to do that. Maybe a gift. Maybe jewelery?

She doesn't wear necklaces. I gave her a diamond bracelet in the summer, diamond earrings sometime after that, and some saphire earings for her birthday with a matching ring. So I'm thinking maybe the jewelery thing has been overdone.

I can't buy her clothes because she has specific tastes that I can't quite decipher, regardless of how many shopping trips I go with her.

I'm a bit stumped. Buying gifts for the guys was easy -- everyone's getting mini convection ovens this year and a few are getting sword-canes or board games. One is getting Lego Optimus Prime, just for the hell of it.

I don't think she needs or wants a sword-cane. Or a mini oven.

Any ideas would be welcome.


Need more info really. What does she do for a living? Hobbies? Interests? Etc.

And while I will say that diamond and saphire jewelry are great presents, they're not very practical in terms of being able to wear to work or on more casual occasions. If you decide to go the jewelry route you may consider picking something that is little more versatile.
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Alan Pengelly
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Completely contradicting the previous reply, I'd suggest going with the clothes option, but buy clothes from somewhere that does gift receipts then if she doesn't like it, (you never know you might get lucky), she can always exchange for something else.

From you're post you've been dragged around the shops so you should know what shops she likes to buy stuff from even if you can't decipher her style.
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Pieter
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I just have to say: buying a diamond bracelet, diamond earrings, sapphire earrings, AND a matching ring for a woman whom you know less than a year is seriously overdoing the gift thing, unless you are some kind of millionaire.

If you hadn't given her any jewelry yet, a small piece of jewelry at Christmas would be a GREAT gift. But now, handing her another piece of jewelry every few months, it is no longer special.

Just take her out. Nice dinner, see a show. Order a good bottle of wine. And dial down on the gifts a bit.
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Kelsey Rinella
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How about a really nice impact driver? They're small and light enough for even someone with low upper body strength to use comfortably, and are most useful for the sorts of things which are pretty everyday (rather than the stuff which tends to involve a big commitment to do-it-yourself work). I know there's a DeWalt one with an LED which shines on the work, so it's possible to get some features which seem pleasingly thoughtful. If you're feeling like jewelry is played out, why not do a 180?
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John Hathorn
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Flyboy Connor wrote:
And dial down on the gifts a bit.

I don't think he really has a choice on this any longer. If he does dial it down, she might start thinking his expensive gifts are going elsewhere. If you do scale back on the gifts, do it so gradually she won't notice.
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R.T. Sloan
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I have always found that jewelry/music boxes have gone over very well with girlfriends. (And my wife too, but she started out as a girlfriend. )

Make sure that you spend a little time picking the right song. Just don't grab anything.

As to the theme, pick something that she likes. Something that says something about her, Butterflies, Carousel Horses, WWII fighter planes. What ever fits her. I'm sure you can think of something.

Another plus is you can choose to spend as much, or as little as you like. These things come in all price ranges.
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J Boyes
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Spa Gift certificate
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Brook Gentlestream
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Quote:
A nice night out. Dinner, but not your usual place; go more upscale.
This way you get to enjoy her present, too.
See? Thinking ahead!
(Definitely avoid clothes.)


We used to do something like this almost every week but its been awhile since life has gotten complicated in the last month or two. I'm considering taking her to see The Nutcracker when she gets over her recent cold.

Shouldn't I still get a gift though?

Quote:
Need more info really. What does she do for a living? Hobbies? Interests? Etc.

I deliberately left this kind of open to prevent skewing the recommendations. Besides, I'm curious what other people get for their wives/girlfriends year after year that might be outside my usual thought process/observation.

Quote:
And while I will say that diamond and saphire jewelry are great presents, they're not very practical in terms of being able to wear to work or on more casual occasions. If you decide to go the jewelry route you may consider picking something that is little more versatile.

Doesn't versatile mean plain? Getting a plain, ordinary item as a Christmas gift for our first Christmas gift doesn't sound like a particularly great idea... does it?

Quote:
Completely contradicting the previous reply, I'd suggest going with the clothes option, but buy clothes from somewhere that does gift receipts then if she doesn't like it, (you never know you might get lucky), she can always exchange for something else.

This sounds like a fine idea but I'm not sure about her size either. She's tall and athletic, and complains that most women's clothes aren't made to fit someone of her body type. (I listen, I'm just not that great at remembering numbers...)

Quote:
From you're post you've been dragged around the shops so you should know what shops she likes to buy stuff from even if you can't decipher her style.

Hmm, this is true. I do know of a few stores where she likes to shop. I know whatever I get won't fit her though.

Quote:
I just have to say: buying a diamond bracelet, diamond earrings, sapphire earrings, AND a matching ring for a woman whom you know less than a year is seriously overdoing the gift thing, unless you are some kind of millionaire.

They were little diamonds, not more than $150 or so.

Quote:
If you hadn't given her any jewelry yet, a small piece of jewelry at Christmas would be a GREAT gift. But now, handing her another piece of jewelry every few months, it is no longer special.

Oops?

Quote:
Just take her out. Nice dinner, see a show. Order a good bottle of wine. And dial down on the gifts a bit.

Well, we do this sort of thing very often, too. At least monthly. I want to take her out since we haven't been out in awhile but I'm not sure that will be perceived as a special gift since its something we do a lot.

Quote:
How about a really nice impact driver? They're small and light enough for even someone with low upper body strength to use comfortably, and are most useful for the sorts of things which are pretty everyday (rather than the stuff which tends to involve a big commitment to do-it-yourself work). I know there's a DeWalt one with an LED which shines on the work, so it's possible to get some features which seem pleasingly thoughtful. If you're feeling like jewelry is played out, why not do a 180?

I'm not sure if you're making fun of me or not, but I think this would make a nice gift for her. Not for Christmas though.

Quote:
I don't think he really has a choice on this any longer. If he does dial it down, she might start thinking his expensive gifts are going elsewhere.

Maybe this is another sample of my naivete, but I don't think that's really a risk.

Quote:
I have always found that jewelry/music boxes have gone over very well with girlfriends. (And my wife too, but she started out as a girlfriend. )

Music boxes seem both interesting and tacky at once. I like the idea of getting some kind of classy box. Functional and pretty. But it seems odd to give a box as a gift without something in it. Hmmm. This may work if I can find something that she'll like.

Quote:
Make sure that you spend a little time picking the right song. Just don't grab anything.

Another plus is you can choose to spend as much, or as little as you like. These things come in all price ranges.

I've never seen a music box that played anything other than the same "music box tune" but then I've never seen a higher quality music box before or ever gone music box shopping.

Quote:
Spa Gift certificate

That sounds nice, although I'm not sure about giving gift certificates as a Christmas gift. I'll consider it though.

--

Thank you everyone for all your help, advice, and suggestions. Please keep them coming!!
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Christian Jorgensen
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What about an iron, or a frying pan.

What could go wrong with great gifts like that?
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Kelsey Rinella
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I wasn't making fun, though I can certainly understand the concern. Partly I'm still reeling from a thread in RSP in which a man laments the princess-heavy culture to which his daughter is so unavoidably exposed, and partly I've been really enjoying household projects as a bonding activity with my wife. It's tempting to ask her to watch the kids while I enjoy the power tools, but they're pretty heavy sleepers, so it's more satisfying to wait till they're in bed and share it with her. Even when it is something I go and execute without her, she's involved in the planning and project selection, and that's all about us thinking about our priorities for the home we're making together.

I like the idea of giving a lady a gift which empowers her while suggesting that you're enjoying thinking about the process of making a home with her.
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Helen Holzgrafe
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Jpwoo wrote:
Spa Gift certificate


No! Spa Certificate for both of you!

-Helen
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Helen Holzgrafe
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rinelk wrote:
I wasn't making fun, though I can certainly understand the concern. Partly I'm still reeling from a thread in RSP in which a man laments the princess-heavy culture to which his daughter is so unavoidably exposed, and partly I've been really enjoying household projects as a bonding activity with my wife. It's tempting to ask her to watch the kids while I enjoy the power tools, but they're pretty heavy sleepers, so it's more satisfying to wait till they're in bed and share it with her. Even when it is something I go and execute without her, she's involved in the planning and project selection, and that's all about us thinking about our priorities for the home we're making together.

I like the idea of giving a lady a gift which empowers her while suggesting that you're enjoying thinking about the process of making a home with her.


Jewelry is easy and not so scary as power tools. Once you are giving power tools, you are really committed. They say much more than a mere engagement ring.

I'd say hold off on power tools until you are already making a life together, rather than dating.

-Helen

PS. I am pretty sure I am getting a new power screwdriver from my sweetie since my old one broke.
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Matt Riddle
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[q="lordrahvin"]
Quote:
A nice night out. Dinner, but not your usual place;
Thank you everyone for all your help, advice, and suggestions. Please keep them coming!!


did you not see my post? this thread is already over...
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Brook Gentlestream
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riddlen wrote:
[q="lordrahvin"]
Quote:
A nice night out. Dinner, but not your usual place;
Thank you everyone for all your help, advice, and suggestions. Please keep them coming!!


did you not see my post? this thread is already over...


Sorry. No, I didn't miss it. I'm starting to really like the coat idea. I know some stores she likes to frequent. It's more likely to fit than anything else, and if she doesn't like it, she could take it back.

Right now its between this and the music box, but I'm leaning toward this.
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Boo
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Go to a really nice spa and buy a selection of items, like bath oil, cream, etc, (the people that work there can help you find something appropriate) and wrap it up with a gift certificate for a spa day. If life has been hectic then a massage, facial, and or manicure/pedicure is wonderful at rejuvenating any girl.
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If you can sit through The Nutcracker, she'll be idolizing you for weeks afterward.
Do that!

Not that the music is bad, I quite like it. But the ballet is dull, in my opinion. And the story is pretty silly.
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R.T. Sloan
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Quote:
Make sure that you spend a little time picking the right song. Just don't grab anything.

Another plus is you can choose to spend as much, or as little as you like. These things come in all price ranges.


Quote:
I've never seen a music box that played anything other than the same "music box tune" but then I've never seen a higher quality music box before or ever gone music box shopping.


With the more expensive music boxes you can select the song that you want for the box. They have hundreds of different song 'thingies' (I have no idea what they are called. The little metal wheels with the tunning prongs and pegs.) and they can put the one you choose into the box.
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What about an eReader, or iPod, or something like that? Sam got a subscription to audible.com for my birthday, so we get to pick out a new audiobook to download every month - that was very cool.

Does she keep a journal? A nice leatherbound one and fancy pen might be nice.
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Of course, what makes the right present for any individual is going to be, well, individual.

I do think you should get her something tangible rather than just a dinner out -- it should be clear that whatever you give her is Her Present.

(Down the line, I think couples end up with their own understandings about these kinds of gift-giving occasions, falling anywhere between "let's spoil each other rotten!" and "what a waste of money -- let's pass on this".)

Are you friends with any of her friends or family? They're likely to be good sources of information.

I think that the best gift is the one that communicates care and thoughtfulness. Ideally, it's something she wouldn't buy for herself. If you can suss out what would be a splurge for her, that's a great zone -- ultra-luxe yarn for a knitter, for instance.

You're clearly focused on wanting to make this positive for her, so you're certainly on the right track.

I remember a present I got that was, on its face, laughably bad -- but it was so clearly well-intentioned and thoughtful that it was one of my most touching gifts ever. I'm sure you won't give a laughably bad present, but my point is that as long as it's clear that you had her in mind (as I'm sure it will), all should be well.

Good luck!
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Leesa
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JohnnyOffice wrote:
lordrahvin wrote:
I'm kind of new to this whole "having a girlfriend" thing -- especially one who isn't a geek like me. I've never actually had to do much holiday shopping and such before because its mostly me and my buds and my co-workers. But now there's Her, and I'd like to make Christmas a little special for her.

I'm not quite sure how to do that. Maybe a gift. Maybe jewelery?

She doesn't wear necklaces. I gave her a diamond bracelet in the summer, diamond earrings sometime after that, and some saphire earings for her birthday with a matching ring. So I'm thinking maybe the jewelery thing has been overdone.

I can't buy her clothes because she has specific tastes that I can't quite decipher, regardless of how many shopping trips I go with her.

I'm a bit stumped. Buying gifts for the guys was easy -- everyone's getting mini convection ovens this year and a few are getting sword-canes or board games. One is getting Lego Optimus Prime, just for the hell of it.

I don't think she needs or wants a sword-cane. Or a mini oven.

Any ideas would be welcome.


Need more info really. What does she do for a living? Hobbies? Interests? Etc.

And while I will say that diamond and saphire jewelry are great presents, they're not very practical in terms of being able to wear to work or on more casual occasions. If you decide to go the jewelry route you may consider picking something that is little more versatile.



yeah Like a 2 ct diamond ring.. goes with EVERYTHING!!!
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Flyboy Connor wrote:
I just have to say: buying a diamond bracelet, diamond earrings, sapphire earrings, AND a matching ring for a woman whom you know less than a year is seriously overdoing the gift thing, unless you are some kind of millionaire.

If you hadn't given her any jewelry yet, a small piece of jewelry at Christmas would be a GREAT gift. But now, handing her another piece of jewelry every few months, it is no longer special.

Just take her out. Nice dinner, see a show. Order a good bottle of wine. And dial down on the gifts a bit.


I totally agree with him. My hubby gave me rings, necklaces, perfume, makeup, sent me flowers every week..I was not accustom to receiving such things ALL the time to where it got to the point "another bunch of flowers" delivered to my office .. shake it was even after he bought me a simple engagement ring we were off finding a much bigger one. What I am saying yes slow down on the jewelry and expensive stuff cause either she will be expecting more each time or won't have the wow effect anymore. For me it lost the WOW affect. Before me he had a gf who expected such things all the time and when he broke it off with her she had the nerve to send him emails telling him she owed her 5,000.00 for the engagement ring that should have been hers. He had told her he would give her a used laptop and when he didn't she called the cops on him. Not saying no way your GF will be like that. I listen to dr. Laura all the time and a husband was calling about how his wife wasn't interested in him anymore and it boiled down to that he treated her like a major princess and bought her all sorts of things etc and now that he couldnt afford it anymore she wanted out.

P.s. I vote for the spa package...always loved them when my hubby gave me them.
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Leesa
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MABBY wrote:
If you can sit through The Nutcracker, she'll be idolizing you for weeks afterward.
Do that!

Not that the music is bad, I quite like it. But the ballet is dull, in my opinion. And the story is pretty silly.



Did you see the South Park spoof on men going to musicals with their wives? You will surely be taking your SO to the Nutcracker and anything that has singing and dancing. laugh
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