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Subject: No, We Aren't Going to Kill Each Other rss

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Wendy Lee
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It was only our second date. We were sitting in his car on a remote cliffside overlooking the ocean. It was very late at night and there was not a soul around for miles. The spot was beautiful and secluded. It was one of those perfect spots and romance was in the air ...

M: I wish this moment would last forever.
HG: You wouldn't say that if you were being tortured right now.

Why did he just say that? Who is this guy? I am usually a good judge of character what did I miss? I thought I might be in danger and decided I would be better off outside of the car, at least it would give me more options. My heart was pounding and I wanted to run. I announced it was time for a bathroom break and bolted from his car. I promptly found a nearby shrub and relieved myself. That allowed me to think more clearly and to realize that he wasn't running after me. In fact he was barely out of the car.

HG: Do you want me to drive you to a bathroom?
M: What? I am already done.
HG: Did you just pee right out here?
M: Yeah, what else was I supposed to do?

I had never had a man be so impressed with my outdoor skills and HiveGod was truly impressed. He tells me it was what sealed the deal for him.

And that is how it all began some 22 year ago on the night that HiveGod and I learned we weren't going to kill each other.

Happy Anniversary! kiss

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Rusty McFisticuffs
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Based on the disappointing title, I was afraid this thread was going to be about knitting or something. Excellent recovery.

(And congratulations on not killing him yet.)
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Dean
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In blackest night, in shining day, My Will is all - I'll have my way! With Emerald Light in focused ray, This Duck will rule! (If that's okay?)
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D'awwwww. Congratulations on you ongoing non mutual-homicides. Has he ever explained to you exactly why he made such a creepy-sounding comment?
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Chris Tannhauser
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No, no, no—the actual line was:

"That's all well and good for us in here, but what about someone being tortured to death out there?"

Your comment made me freeze-frame on somebody with a ball peen hammer to the teeth... forever. Hindsight being damnably perfect I realize this was a horrible thing to say on our first "alone date", especially before you understood the issues surrounding "narrative Tourette's".

Also, girlfriend-prior refused to eliminate waste in unfamiliar toilets and so required immediate transport to the ur-toilet in her domicile—even if it meant leaving the movie in the middle. Going from that to a woman who could pee behind a bush without blinking an eye was like finding out Santa Claus was real and he wanted you to drive his ice-cream Cadillac to a naked party on the Moon. I was instantly smitten, kitten.

Thanks for not heeding your father's warnings that I might be a people-skin-wearing maniac, and here's to the next 22!
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Paul Szilagyi
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HiveGod wrote:
...was like finding out Santa Claus was real and he wanted you to drive his ice-cream Cadillac to a naked party on the Moon.

A mind like that would've been a terrible thing to waste.
Congratulations on continued weirdness/bliss.
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Aloha!
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My first date with my wife involved us discussing the chipper scene in Fargo and the going to see the Bone Collector. Nine and a half years later and she's still not sure how date #2 happened.
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Amy Wiles
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Awh! How romantic! Congrats, you two!

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New and Improved
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ZeroZilla wrote:
HiveGod wrote:
...was like finding out Santa Claus was real and he wanted you to drive his ice-cream Cadillac to a naked party on the Moon.

A mind like that would've been a terrible thing to waste.
Congratulations on continued weirdness/bliss.


Great story. But, just to be clear, is the cadillac like an ice cream truck, but a caddy ? or is it actually made of ice cream ?
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Dean
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Mulligans wrote:
ZeroZilla wrote:
HiveGod wrote:
...was like finding out Santa Claus was real and he wanted you to drive his ice-cream Cadillac to a naked party on the Moon.

A mind like that would've been a terrible thing to waste.
Congratulations on continued weirdness/bliss.


Great story. But, just to be clear, is the cadillac like an ice cream truck, but a caddy ? or is it actually made of ice cream ?


Couldn't it be both?
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Tim Thorp
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When you got home and got out of the car, was there a hook hanging from the door handle?
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HiveGod wrote:
No, no, no—the actual line was:

"That's all well and good for us in here, but what about someone being tortured to death out there?"

Your comment made me freeze-frame on somebody with a ball peen hammer to the teeth... forever. Hindsight being damnably perfect I realize this was a horrible thing to say on our first "alone date", especially before you understood the issues surrounding "narrative Tourette's".

Also, girlfriend-prior refused to eliminate waste in unfamiliar toilets and so required immediate transport to the ur-toilet in her domicile—even if it meant leaving the movie in the middle. Going from that to a woman who could pee behind a bush without blinking an eye was like finding out Santa Claus was real and he wanted you to drive his ice-cream Cadillac to a naked party on the Moon. I was instantly smitten, kitten.

Thanks for not heeding your father's warnings that I might be a people-skin-wearing maniac, and here's to the next 22!


If I had 100 Geek Gold I would tip you every penny for this post. You two crazy kids give a guy mired in the bowels of a divorce hope for love.

Congrats! and you both have a way with words.
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Matt Riddle
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great thread! how often did you pull out the remote hillside cliff on the second date... that seem like a strong play.
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Chris Tannhauser
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riddlen wrote:
great thread! how often did you pull out the remote hillside cliff on the second date... that seem like a strong play.

I was totally going for it.

I met Wendy on a blind date set up by a friend's girlfriend after a disappointing girlfriend-finding expedition at a supercomputer center barbecue. I went to meet chicks, but it was just a mass of sullen programmer-dudes all standing around, red cups in hand, with exactly the same idea replaced by dull resignation. I turned to Holly, one of the three (attached) women there:

"Holly, you need to find me a girlfriend."

Holly hesitated. "Well... I know someone, but—"

"But what?"

"—but I think she might be too good for you."

At the time Wendy had just applied to the Peace Corps and was fast-tracking for medical school and I was...

...into wearing stolen bowling shoes, blue jeans I'd striped with bleach and rocking a ferocious platinum-blonde mullet.

There are choke-points in history, large and small, where the world narrows to just two things. She was my shot at ascension, a magic carpet ride to all the Good Stuff. It was either this or a rapid slide into hobosity, head crammed full of things everyone would really rather have stay in there.

So, yeah, I went for it all double-plus hard.

Not long after she hit me with The Ultimatum:

"If we're not married in a year you're gone. I want a family—I've 'played house' before and I'm done with it."

Shrug. Made sense to me.

Of course, who tricked whom is still open for debate...
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Rudy
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Congrats you two! Stories like this give me hope.
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Jeff Wiles
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HOLY FROZEN MONKEY
LOVE ON A STICK!

THE ORIGIN STORY!!!
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Wendy Lee
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HiveGod wrote:

Not long after she hit me with The Ultimatum:

"If we're not married in a year you're gone. I want a family—I've 'played house' before and I'm done with it."

Shrug. Made sense to me.

Of course, who tricked whom is still open for debate...


Jeezus--he always calls it The Ultimatum: I just call it practical. Besides, he likes it when I get demanding every now and then. Ya' know, pushy bottoms and all that. kiss
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Joe Gola
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Wouldn't be the first time a lady peeing on a stick led to someone getting hitched.
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