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Subject: Best Cricket bat to whap someone with a gun? rss

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I'm thinking an English Willow Cricket bat. It looks pretty sweet.




Right now, I have Jonex that a buddy had another buddy bring back from India for me (very nice of both chaps).



Sadly my personal Cricket bat wielder is getting older and not as interested in saving me from wayward gun toters and/or packages.
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Was there a gun inside the package? That would have been really cool.
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Robert Wesley
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yuk "screw that!" Get a 'sword' and then you can "lop off" their 'hand-with-gun' or "run these through" with it, and even NAME "name" this to your satisfaction!
\cool ~"I dub thee: 'Extreme-Extremities-Extractor'!" it is also more 'silent', you know, EXCEPT for their "screams" when 'pierced' or "lopped-off upon"...
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GROGnads wrote:
yuk "screw that!" Get a 'sword' and then you can "lop off" their 'hand-with-gun' or "run these through" with it, and even NAME "name" this to your satisfaction!
\cool ~"I dub thee: 'Extreme-Extremities-Extractor'!" it is also more 'silent', you know, EXCEPT for their "screams" when 'pierced' or "lopped-off upon"...


I'm really just a fan of a good bludgeoning kind sir. Plus, I believe swords were banned from Cricket around 1603 after a particularly unfortunate innings.
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Hollow aluminum baseball bat.

Put a hole in the bottom and fill it with a pound of lead pellets.

You can swing it fast when the top is light and the rapid transfer of weight to the far end will be bone crushing.
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CrankyPants wrote:
Hollow aluminum baseball bat.

Put a hole in the bottom and fill it with a pound of lead pellets.

You can swing it fast when the top is light and the rapid transfer of weight to the far end will be bone crushing.


I'm sorry perhaps you misread the title of the thread. CRICKET bats. I have several baseball bats, but I find they are much better for KNIFE wielders. The Cricket bat's surface area is **ideal** for gun toters.
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Hmm... so you insist on bringing a cricket bat to a gun fight?

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vandemonium wrote:
I'm thinking an English Willow Cricket bat. It looks pretty sweet.


Go for a Gray Nicholls (the Nitro or Kaboom bats seem to have the most appropriate names for your purpose) - but play it in so that it doesn't split the first time you use it in anger laugh.

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I'd use a Duncan Fearnley.
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I'm no expert but this is Chit Chat so let me wade in. You need to consider the weight of the bat, and its width. Modern players favour much lighter weights, and whack them around a lot, such that they break quickly and easily. From what you describe as your need, I suggest you want an older heavier style bat, with a broad blade. You will probably be better off looking in an after-sales market for a previously owned bat now being sold to make room.

Avoid anything that looks like tape around the blade. This would suggest the blade has been split and is being held together. The last thing you need when striking the assailant's Webley is for your willow to fly asunder. Likewise, look for cracks at the very base of the bat. Also, try the handle and make sure it does not wobble at all when you shift the piece. Rubber and string can be refurbished, but if the handle is detached from the blade, you risk it flying off at an unwarranted moment.

I sincerely hope this has been of assistance to you.
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Sinister Dexter wrote:
Hmm... so you insist on bringing a cricket bat to a gun fight?



check and mate, uh, mate.

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GROGnads wrote:
yuk "screw that!" Get a 'sword'

One of those many words which triggers a Neal Stephenson/Snow Crash quote.

When they gave him the job, they gave him a gun. The Deliverator never deals in cash, but someone might come after him anyway--might want his car, or his cargo. The gun is tiny, aero-styled, lightweight, the kind of a gun a fashion designer would carry; it fires teensy darts that fly at five times the velocity of an SR-71 spy plane, and when you get done using it, you have to plug it into the cigarette lighter, because it runs on electricity.

The Deliverator never pulled that gun in anger, or in fear. He pulled it once in Gila Highlands. Some punks in Gila Highlands, a fancy Burbclave, wanted themselves a delivery, and they didn't want to pay for it. Thought they would impress the Deliverator with a baseball bat. The Deliverator took out his gun, centered its laser doohickey on that poised Louisville Slugger, fired it. The recoil was immense, as though the weapon had blown up in his hand. The middle third of the baseball bat turned into a column of burning sawdust accelerating in all directions like a bursting star. Punk ended up holding this bat handle with milky smoke pouring out the end. Stupid look on his face. Didn't get nothing but trouble from the Deliverator.

Since then the Deliverator has kept the gun in the glove compartment and relied, instead, on a matched set of samurai swords, which have always been his weapon of choice anyhow. The punks in Gila Highlands weren't afraid of the gun, so the Deliverator was forced to use it. But swords need no demonstrations.
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EYE of NiGHT wrote:
I'm no expert but this is Chit Chat so let me wade in. You need to consider the weight of the bat, and its width. Modern players favour much lighter weights, and whack them around a lot, such that they break quickly and easily.


and the reason they like light bats is because they can swing them faster.

F=ma

and so we're back to my aluminum (or "Aluminium" if you insist on speaking that dead language from the former British "Empire") bat.

Greater a * increased m = maximum F.

You can also keep it in a fire to cauterize your gunshot wounds and stop the bleeding.

Are there aluminium cricket bats?
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CrankyPants wrote:
EYE of NiGHT wrote:
I'm no expert but this is Chit Chat so let me wade in. You need to consider the weight of the bat, and its width. Modern players favour much lighter weights, and whack them around a lot, such that they break quickly and easily.


and the reason they like light bats is because they can swing them faster.

F=ma

and so we're back to my aluminum (or "Aluminium" if you insist on speaking that dead language from the former British "Empire") bat.

Greater a * increased m = maximum F.

You can also keep it in a fire to cauterize your gunshot wounds and stop the bleeding.

Are there aluminium cricket bats?


Firstly, a heavy bat would need no extra weight to provide the extra m that you imply is needed. However, your formula is redundant, since as every schoolboy kno, the skill in using a bat is to deftly fend off deliveries with a neat flick and twist of the wrists. It's action rather than force that is the potency within the bat.

Yes, there was an attempt to bring in an aluminium bat, but is was short lived. An Australian tried bringing one onto the field in a Test Match, but was turned back by an Umpire. in fact, there was nothing in the Laws Of Cricket to prevent him using it. It had the required dimensions and there was no prohibition on the material. But being a cricketer, he obliged and returned with a wooden blade. You can still get them, but they make a nasty ringing noise, and so are unpopular.
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EYE of NiGHT wrote:

... a video that is presumably of some sport though I saw no one running and even a 6yo could have fielded that sad little grounder ...


Honestly, I have no idea what just happened there. Did the guy with the renfaire training sword win?

I would have just tackled him on principle.
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CrankyPants wrote:
"Aluminium" if you insist on speaking that dead language from the former British "Empire"


Actually that's the internationally agreed name for the element. And you really don't need the scare quotes around Empire once you've put in former.

Quote:
Are there aluminium cricket bats?


IIRC, there was an attempt to introduce them, back I would guess around thirty years ago, but, again IIRC, they were banned due to their effect on the ball. (The state of the ball is a seriously important issue in cricket, for those who don't know.)
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