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Subject: The worst prank you've done too your spouse rss

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Brian Morris
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Ok, there was a recent thread on here where I told about my calling my wife "the break of my wind" at a little get together with her co-workers. My wife replied to the thread saying I had done worse and some folks asked for details. So here they are and a chance for the rest of you to tell your best prank you've pulled on your spouse.

My wife has a weird quirk when it comes too clocks. She likes to set the clock in the bedroom for the wrong time. Her logic is she likes to feel like she's going to bed later and not getting up as early. So we have for 20 years always had this bedside clock set to the wrong time.

Shortly after we got married my wife went to work for Sprint who she has now worked for for a long time. Her training though when she first started required her to be at work at 6 am for several weeks and thus she had to get up at 5 am.

Several days after she began her early bird training she screwed up her clock. It was almost midnight and I was in the living room having a late snack before heading too bed.

Suddenly I hear her alarm go off. I wait too see if she gets up and sure enough about a minute after the alarm is silenced I see her shuffling half asleep down the hall to the bathroom. I wait. Maybe she knows it's not 5 am. After a few minutes she shuffles out and looks into the living room.

"What are you doing up?"
"Ummmm. I was hungry so I got up and fixed myself a snack before going back to bed"

Back she shuffles into the bathroom where I hear her begin her morning routine. I swear at this point I wanted too tell her but I just couldn't. I guess it was sort of like one of those twisted psychology experiments where they shock poor subjects for no good reason other than sadistic curiosity. If you've ever taken a college psychology course you know the type. "Here this poor college student we paid $2 an hour is given electric shocks for 30 minutes while we wait to see if they figure out we're a bunch of bloody loonies".

So this goes on for about 5 minutes as she goes back and forth between the bathroom and bedroom. Finally she comes out into the kitchen where the microwave has the correct time. I wait. One minute...two minute...

"BRIAN!!!"

Out she comes now very wide awake and not all that happy.

"When were you going to tell me!?"

I honestly wasn't sure. I told her "I hope before you got to the car".

Now when this story gets told there are generally two versions. My "it was a harmless little prank" version and my wife's version which is told more along the lines of "This is an example of my husband's sick sense of humor I have to put up with".
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Mystery McMysteryface
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Mystery Bob and I were at Universal Studios and went on the Jaws ride. I told him that the best seat to see the action was the one all the way on the left, because I had been on this ride before. ninja

So, the ride started and when Jaws came out, he laughed and fake screamed because it looked so fake. Then came the end of the ride when part of the set blows up into a blazing, hot, fireball--off the left side of the boat.

Mystery Bob screamed and almost jumped into my lap saying, "OMG! That is hot, I'm burning up, it's burning me!"

We got off the ride and he was still super agitated, complaining about the heat and telling me to look because the hairs on his arm were burned to a crisp. Then he turned to me and asked me to check and see if he had any eyebrows left, because he was sure they were burned off!!

I just could not stop laughing and still laugh when I think about it.

I got him good!!

He still insists that it was too hot and that he was burned!






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Andy Andersen
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My wife came home from work one day and I had taken a kitchen knife, broken it off at the hilt, stuck it through a t-shirt, glued it to a piece of cardboard, placed it on my chest, poured a ketchup and molasses mixture on the shirt and laid down on the kitchen floor.

When she walked in the door, she knew I had been killed and screamed so loud I screamed too. I started laughing so hard I was crying and she came over and kicked me in the ribs.

She was the most pissed off I have ever seen her in almost 30 years of marriage. I have not accomplished any prank close to that since, although there have been some goodies.

God I love that woman (for not killing me)
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Doe Gibson
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Orangemoose wrote:
My wife came home from work one day and I had taken a kitchen knife, broken it off at the hilt, stuck it through a t-shirt, glued it to a piece of cardboard, placed it on my chest, poured a ketchup and molasses mixture on the shirt and laid down on the kitchen floor.

When she walked in the door, she knew I had been killed and screamed so loud I screamed too. I started laughing so hard I was crying and she came over and kicked me in the ribs.

She was the most pissed off I have ever seen her in almost 30 years of marriage. I have not accomplished any prank close to that since, although there have been some goodies.

God I love that woman (for not killing me)


Mmmm... I'm thinking she should have kicked you again. ninja
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Billy McBoatface
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doelion wrote:
Orangemoose wrote:
My wife came home from work one day and I had taken a kitchen knife, broken it off at the hilt, stuck it through a t-shirt, glued it to a piece of cardboard, placed it on my chest, poured a ketchup and molasses mixture on the shirt and laid down on the kitchen floor.

When she walked in the door, she knew I had been killed and screamed so loud I screamed too. I started laughing so hard I was crying and she came over and kicked me in the ribs.

She was the most pissed off I have ever seen her in almost 30 years of marriage. I have not accomplished any prank close to that since, although there have been some goodies.

God I love that woman (for not killing me)


Mmmm... I'm thinking she should have kicked you again. ninja
I'm thinking she should have jumped on the handle of the knife. Then you wouldn't be just pretending to be dead.
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Andy Andersen
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wmshub wrote:
doelion wrote:
Orangemoose wrote:
My wife came home from work one day and I had taken a kitchen knife, broken it off at the hilt, stuck it through a t-shirt, glued it to a piece of cardboard, placed it on my chest, poured a ketchup and molasses mixture on the shirt and laid down on the kitchen floor.

When she walked in the door, she knew I had been killed and screamed so loud I screamed too. I started laughing so hard I was crying and she came over and kicked me in the ribs.

She was the most pissed off I have ever seen her in almost 30 years of marriage. I have not accomplished any prank close to that since, although there have been some goodies.

God I love that woman (for not killing me)


Mmmm... I'm thinking she should have kicked you again. ninja
I'm thinking she should have jumped on the handle of the knife. Then you wouldn't be just pretending to be dead.


She laughs about it now - does that count?
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Michael
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This was an ex girlfriend about 7 years ago, but I think it fits the thread.

Once upon a time I dated a very smart, but very gullible girl. If you were to look up gullible in the dictionary, she would fall for that joke five hundred times in a row. One day I discovered those text to speech programs where you make the robo-lady say whatever you type. I had only one option. I burned a CD.

The next day she and I were driving in my car listening to that CD, suddenly free downloadable alarm sounds cut through the music.
"Oh god not now," I said rehearsed, "Computer! Status Report!"
"Status report incoming," said the robo-lady.

And so the skit when on. Basically, I was a secret agent, and my cars "psionic" defenses was being breached from afar by the evil Dr. Crandle. I radio'd in for back up, and we were saved just in the nick of time. She was totally freaked out, and whispered "ohmygodohmygod" with her head tucked between her legs. I couldn't finish the prank though, cause I couldn't keep down the laughter. Her response at the end of it was priceless - "Oh yeah, of course I knew it was bullshit, but then, you know, just in case..."
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Key Locks
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Dude, I'm not usually one to complain but you're going to give me an aneurysm with this "too" business.
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Quote:
The worst prank you've done too your spouse


I married her.
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Erik Henry
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Leezer wrote:
Dude, I'm not usually one to complain but you're going to give me an aneurysm with this "too" business.

Maybe his wife pranked him by telling him when you mean excessive or also it's spelled "to" and when you mean the particle before the verb or the preposition it's spelled "too".

I think she wins the prank contest.



Edit: Just teasing. This sounded a little harsh upon rereading.
. . . . But the "too"s were bugging me too.
Had to think twice about my spelling there. That would have been embarrassing.
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Christian Jorgensen
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It's odd, I don't think I have pulled a single, memorable prank on my wife. And we have been married 9 years now.

The worst prank I ever pulled was on my mum. When I was 20 she and my sister moved back to the UK, I stayed here. (I'd just started my job, and the UK had all the appeal of the dentists)

Anyway, four months later some of my friends had a kid, (my godson) and I got them to take my photo with him. I then sent the photo to my mum with a "I need to fess up to something, you're a gran" letter.

She rang me to yell at me for not telling her the minute she opened the letter. It was just as well she was on the other side of the world.
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Andy Andersen
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Banichi wrote:
It's odd, I don't think I have pulled a single, memorable prank on my wife. And we have been married 9 years now.

The worst prank I ever pulled was on my mum. When I was 20m she and my sister moved back to the UK, I stayed here. (I'd just started my job, and the UK had all the appeal of the dentists)

Anyway, four months later some of my friends had a kid, (my godson) and I got them to take my photo with him. I then sent the photo to my mum with a "I need to fess up to something, you're a gran" letter.

It was just as well she was on the other side of the world.


Your wife deserves a prank. It's a sign of true love. cool
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Christian Jorgensen
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Orangemoose wrote:
Your wife deserves a prank. It's a sign of true love. :cool:


I don't know, my pranks are a bit all or nothing.

I got my friend, who was going to Botswana, to post a letter when he arrived. So the stamp and postmarks would be right.

It was from me, and addressed to my Father, we only see each other once every couple of weeks, so I was counting on it arriving when we hadn't seen each other for a week or so.

It said I'd run off to work with orphan lions, and not to worry, it wasn't as dangerous as it sounds. It arrived with perfect timing, and he rang my mum (in the UK) to ask if his mad son had talked to her about this.

Then he rang me to berate me for my hairbrain pranks.
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Rudy
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Banichi wrote:
It said I'd run off to work with orphan lions, and not to worry, it wasn't as dangerous as it sounds. It arrived with perfect timing, and he rang my mum (in the UK) to ask if his mad son had talked to her about this.


laugh

Are you originally from the UK, Christian?
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Heron Abroad
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Here's my favorite one:
My husband was on a business trip, and he had parked his car in his office's parking lot in order to carpool to the airport with a coworker (or something like that). I knew he was going to be so tired by the time he got back to the office and climbed into his car, so one day, while I was running errands, I stopped by his car, turned it on, popped in a Rick Astley CD, then promptly turned his car off.
"Ha!" I thought. "He'll be so tired, his reactions will be way too slow to avoid that opening segment."
It didn't even cross my mind that he would in fact be so tired that he wouldn't realize he was being rick-rolled in the first place. He just assumed that he left the radio on (as he often does), and that station just happened to start playing that song at that time. He listened to the entire thing. It wasn't until the second song on the CD started, that he realized something was up.
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Christian Jorgensen
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tickmanfan wrote:
Are you originally from the UK, Christian?


Yup

My Father is kiwi, and my Mother was from the UK. I was born over there, and we moved back here when I was one. I've visited the UK a number of times, but wouldn't want to live there.
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John Burt
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This happened before we were married.

My wife always turns off the bathroom light before she leaves the washroom (after washing her face for bed), so I sat myself down in front of the door and waited for her to come out...

She obligingly turned off the light, opened the door and I grabbed her around the legs. Our roommate came running to the screams...
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Peter Ferguson
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Xlyce wrote:
This happened before we were married.

My wife always turns off the bathroom light before she leaves the washroom (after washing her face for bed), so I sat myself down in front of the door and waited for her to come out...

She obligingly turned off the light, opened the door and I grabbed her around the legs. Our roommate came running to the screams...


I did something like this to my wife when we were dating, she went into the washroom, and I silently walked up to the door, stood right up to it as close as i could get. She opened the door not expecting me to be right there in her face.

Her response?

She SCREAMED, punched me in the chest (quite hard) and then slammed the door before she realised what was going on.

Yea, I don't do stuff like that any more.
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Several years back, We were in the kitchen and I discretely dabbed some alum on the tip of my finger.

I turned to her and said "Hey, honey, mmmmmmmm. This confectioner's sugar is taaaaaasty! Want some?"

She went to taste it and...



(verisimilitude courtesy of Google Images - with thanks to the late Myrna Loy)
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Brian Morris
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Leezer wrote:
Dude, I'm not usually one to complain but you're going to give me an aneurysm with this "too" business.


Fixed. The lesson here is never go back and edit a post while on pain medication. For some reason in my pain medicated mind the post didn't look right and I went on a too binge thinking I was fixing it.
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Brian Morris
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Long time ago when I was in my 20s I was gaming at a friend's apartment. He had one of those life sized cardboard stand-ups of Darth Vader I think. His wife goes into the bathroom and shuts the door. He quietly gets up from the table, gets the stand-up, places it right in front of the door and comes back and sits down at the table. A minute later his wife opens the door and for some reason reacted a lot more dramatically than I think my friend ever expected by letting out this very loud scream. I hate to think how much trouble he was in after the game was over and we went home.
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CJ
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It must just be me then that doesn't think pranking your missus is good form. Mates and colleagues sure, but not the missus. It's just too easy as there's an expectation of trust and integrity; like pranking a child. Nailing someone who knows it's coming, though - that's skill.
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Euroncrowseye wrote:
In agreement with CJ,

Which is why we're plotting to convinve my housemate he's in france after a night out.


Oh please let us know how that went
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My wife comments on a regular basis how cruel I am...

Anyway, here is one of the better ones...

So when we built our house in Moorhead about 4 or 5 years ago now, it was one of the first houses in a giant field, so we were pretty much surrounded by wildlife of all kinds. Mice, snakes, frogs, etc.

Oh - and about a million spiders.

So, we were in our family room watching a movie or something one night and my wife is on the coach. It is early fall, I am guessing around September, and she is all bundled up in a blanket. I am sitting in front of my computer, undoubtedly on BGG or something along those lines. All of a sudden, Becca screams and jumps off the couch shaking her hands and throwing the blanket off of her with lightning alacrity. Apparently a small spider had crawled over her hands and freaked her out. She runs over to our lined closet, grabs a brand new blanket and then curls up on our chaise lounge to continue watching the movie. About five minutes later, the same thing happens. Scream, jump, throw the blanket. She then grabs ANOTHER blanket, wraps herself up in it, and moves over to sit in a computer chair in front of me.

About ten minutes go by.

She is engrossed in her movie.

I lean forward, as silently as I can, and I quickly, ever so lightly, tickle the back of her neck with my fingers.

Now, when my hearing returned and I was able to peel her off of the ceiling, she eventually forgave me, but at the time, I think she may have murdered me if she had had a weapon of some sort in her hands.
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UndeadViking wrote:
My wife comments on a regular basis how cruel I am...

[ ...snip... ]

Now, when my hearing returned and I was able to peel her off of the ceiling, she eventually forgave me, but at the time, I think she may have murdered me if she had had a weapon of some sort in her hands.


Dude, you may be fortunate that you are even alive at this point.
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