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Subject: Scan or full body search rss

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Norbert Chan
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Wow, so this is what you get for 100 pieces of gold.
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[geekroll=93356]1d20-5 = (7) - 5 = 2[/geekroll]So we are at the airport, and we meet a bespectacled man behind the security desk.

Roll for encounter:
1d20-10 = (4) - 10 = -6

Fail! The man says I have been specially selected for a special serach.
SSSS gets stamped on my boarding pass.
As I go through security, I can feel all the security people giving me the look. "He's a special search".

My wife and kid are allowed to view the spectacle on another lineup.

As I make my way down, I get asked "Do you want the scan or the full body search?"
What is this, some sort of warped choice? They tell me there is no radiation so I opt for the scan.

I walk into the L3 ProVision scanner. It's like Han Solo entering the carbonite freezing compartment. My daughter, all 14 months of her, claps her hand in delight. My wife says "You always have to be chosen, don't you."

I spread my legs apart, and raise my arms up, and turn to the side: never been spreadeageled before at the airport. The L3 Provision Scanner does a quick turn and I walk out.

___________________

After security, on the cruise boat boarding area, we make our way to thelounder's Reef nursery where we can leave our daughter for short periods of time.

One room has a baby tricerotops. Cool. As I look around the room, I hear a loud roar!

Roll for initiative:
1d20-5 = (7) - 5 = 2
I lose!
The tricerotops aims it's three horns at my groin area. Too late to respond, my left hand comes out to block the blow, while my eyes are closed.

Oh wait, it's just a toy that moves occasionally: it roars, moves it's head and blinks its eyes. I wish I had these toys when I was a kid...

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  • 93332. Norbert Chan
  • 1d20-10 =
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  • Mon Jan 16, 2012 6:29 pm
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James Bentley
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Norbert Chan wrote:
...The tricerotops aims it's three horns at my groin area. Too late to respond, my left hand comes out to block the blow, while my eyes are closed.

Oh wait, it's just a toy that moves occasionally: it roars, moves it's head and blinks its eyes. I wish I had these toys when I was a kid...



Whew, glad it wasn't real. You would've been dino-sore!

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Christian Jorgensen
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You should have cryed out "OUCH, MY SPERM" when they scanned you.
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Joe Salamone
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Norbert Chan wrote:


Oh wait, it's just a toy that moves occasionally: it roars, moves it's head and blinks its eyes. I wish I had these toys when I was a kid...



In the late 1960s or early 1970s I had a plastic Triceratops that was connected to a battery-operated remote control by a thin wire. You could press a button to make it walk. If I remember correctly, its eyes would also light up. It was too small for a groin shot (unless you were sitting on the floor with your legs spread).

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Key Locks
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Yeah, the last time I flew, they were running everybody through the scanner at the Indianapolis airport.

And on my return trip, I was patted down in Zurich.

Neither time did anyone ask me what I wanted. Good times.
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Matt Riddle
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which has the hotter attendant?
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Marc P
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Which comes with a happy ending?
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¡dn ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ uǝllɐɟ ǝʌ,ı
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Chestermere
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slowcorner wrote:
Which comes with a happy ending?
Which would make your end happiest?
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Mystery McMysteryface
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I was selected for a full interview in an airport overseas out of everyone in my group. It was grueling and exhausting. Luckily, no searches or pat downs, but the interrogation was unbelievable!
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Troy Davidson
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Scream "FULL BODY SEARCH!" and then drop your pants.

Also, don't go through the line and make a snide remark about the person in the line behind you. That person won't be very happy with you. Especially don't do this if it's the wife of a coworker. shake
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Andy Andersen
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I've got a physical next week so it will be a full body search.gulp
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James Bentley
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Orangemoose wrote:
I've got a physical next week so it will be a full body search.gulp


Will this be when the friendship between you and the physician comes to an end?



Sorry.
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Andy Andersen
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jrbentley wrote:
Orangemoose wrote:
I've got a physical next week so it will be a full body search.gulp


Will this be when the friendship between you and the physician comes to an end?



Sorry.


Well, we've been close for 23 years, butt..............
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Ed Holzman
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Just wait until your next prostate exam! Make sure to tell the physician that he is just like Captain Kirk (boldly going where no man has gone before) and remind him to take off his ring. They never get tired of hearing those jokes.
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Andy Andersen
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Bearcat89 wrote:
Just wait until your next prostate exam!


Friday, January 27. 11 am. Put your hands over your ears.
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The neutral evil villain known as
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Banichi wrote:
You should have cryed out "OUCH, MY SPERM" when they scanned you.



I usually say "Ohhhg! My squeedlyspooge!" Ah Invader Zim, you still make me laugh.
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Christian Jorgensen
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Orangemoose wrote:
Bearcat89 wrote:
Just wait until your next prostate exam!


Friday, January 27. 11 am. Put your hands over your ears.


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Andy Andersen
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Banichi wrote:
Orangemoose wrote:
Bearcat89 wrote:
Just wait until your next prostate exam!


Friday, January 27. 11 am. Put your hands over your ears.




I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. It's actually not that bad. But the idea......................

My blood pressure goes up, pulse goes up.

In anticipation. soblue
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Michael Edwards
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Norbert Chan wrote:
As I make my way down, I get asked "Do you want the scan or the full body search?"
What is this, some sort of warped choice? They tell me there is no radiation so I opt for the scan.


…and you believed them? They were lying, you know.

The last study I saw indicated that, the radiation dose is very small - less than what you get from the flight, or perhaps even drinking a glass of water.

Still -

Quote:
There's talk about the health risks of the machines, but I can't believe you won't get more radiation on the flight. Here's some data:

A typical dental X-ray exposes the patient to about 2 millirems of radiation. According to one widely cited estimate, exposing each of 10,000 people to one rem (that is, 1,000 millirems) of radiation will likely lead to 8 excess cancer deaths. Using our assumption of linearity, that means that exposure to the 2 millirems of a typical dental X-ray would lead an individual to have an increased risk of dying from cancer of 16 hundred-thousandths of one percent. Given that very small risk, it is easy to see why most rational people would choose to undergo dental X-rays every few years to protect their teeth.

More importantly for our purposes, assuming that the radiation in a backscatter X-ray is about a hundredth the dose of a dental X-ray, we find that a backscatter X-ray increases the odds of dying from cancer by about 16 ten millionths of one percent. That suggests that for every billion passengers screened with backscatter radiation, about 16 will die from cancer as a result.

Given that there will be 600 million airplane passengers per year, that makes the machines deadlier than the terrorists.
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Scott Russell
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In Detroit everyone gets to do the scan.

I've lost some weight recently and not purchased new clothes, yet.

So I asked them if they were really sure they wanted me to take off my belt and raise my hands.......


Fortunately, one of the attendents had the solution. Rolling my waistband like a wrapping a towel around my waist allowed me to raise my hands without losing my dignity and/or my pants.
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Rob
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I was expecting a poll.
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Jacqui Bankler
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Sinister Dexter wrote:
I was expecting a poll.


Poll
What would you rather do?
body search
scan
private jet
don't fly
      8 answers
Poll created by jbankler
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If Actions Speak Louder Than Words, Then Actions x2 Speak Louder Than Actions
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I've been hoping for a full body search, just so that I could make subtle sensual noises sporadically throughout the search. Y'know, for fun.
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