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Subject: War Horse NOT about a horse at all! *SPOILERS* rss

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JessA
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SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS GALORE!!!

S
P
O
I
L
E
R
S
!
!
!
!
!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!



Okay, just got back from this movie and it is NOT about a horse.

This movie is really...


"The Curse Of Red Boer War Banner!!"

So, the dad brings the flag home from the war and has nothing but bad luck. He TRIES to throw the thing away, but NOOOOOOooo the wife has to save it and therefore seal their bad luck for years to come.

THEN

The flag-y thingy passes to the officer who buys the horse.

What happens to him? Dead.

THEN it passes to the German ambulance kid. HE gives it to his brother.

What happens to them? Double Dead.

THEN it passes to the kindly grandpa and his daughter.

You know what happens to her.

SO the ONLY reason that Albert survives the war is because he doesn't have the banner flag-y thingy.

And THEN what happens???

Well, then, the grandpa shows up and gives it to him to take back to his family!!

You know what happens after the final sunset scene when Albert is reunited and hugs his family once more.....

DEAD.

All of them.
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Robert Wesley
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surprise "They're A-L-L DEAD, Dave! and so's HE's-of-this-COLOR-shirt, Jim!"
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John O'Haver
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Spoiler (click to reveal)
And next you'll be claiming that Drive wasn't about illegal street racing.
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Matt Riddle
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really? wow. I went from have no desire to see it to having some desire to see it.
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Amy Wiles
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WHAT!?

Why didn't you tell me there were spoilers!!?


Actually, I agree with riddlen on this.

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JessA
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OH I forgot, there was one more moment to drive this home.

That field that the family had never been able to plant or grow anything in...

Well, when Albert gets the package with news of his horse from the front, there's the family picking the biggest ol' crop of turnips you ever saw in your life. Why did things suddenly turn around for them?

That's right, it was because they no longer had the banner!
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Brian Bankler
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Anyone flashback to In Living Color's spoiler review of Black Beauty?

Spoiler (click to reveal)
We have a big warning. Black Beauty is not about Denzel Washington.
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Zé Mário
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I thought it was about a director finally killing his career.

Jesus what a terrible, terrible movie.
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JessA
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Asur wrote:
I thought it was about a director finally killing his career.

Jesus what a terrible, terrible movie.


It was pretty to look at, though, I enjoyed the cinematography very much.
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Zé Mário
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Jatoha wrote:
It was pretty to look at, though, I enjoyed the cinematography very much.


True, except for the sunset scene, it is a pretty movie.
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Andy Andersen
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Haven't been in a theatre for a long time. This movie won't get me there
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Robert Wesley
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I'll just await the triple-XXX version that we just KNOW they'll be making and calling that as:
Spoiler (click to reveal)
"War Whores"! possibly "on Horses" or some loosely debased derivative...
whistle
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Josh Jennings
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But how else, other than lying, can they get that all-important horse-loving demographic into the theater?
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Robert Wesley
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Re: War Horse KNOT about a horse of course you'll remorse at all! *SPOILERS*
"My Little WAR Pony!"? devil
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