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Subject: Horny Secret Service agents line up to investigate Ted Nugent rss

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It's official. The Secret Service is now investigating Ted Nugent to make sure he isn't some sort of threat to President Obama. You never know when Ted will get lucky (or careless) and nail the president with a sniper arrow fired from the upper Midwest and landing on the White House lawn.

Seriously though, here's why Nugent is under the magnifying glass -

Quote:
The Republican rocker and Mitt Romney backer stood by his controversial remarks, in which he called the commander in-chief "vile," "evil" and "America-hating," in addition to saying if Obama is reelected, “I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year."


Really? Vile? Evil? America-hating? Yawn. Nugent is a lightweight in comparison to me when it comes to calling Saint Obama names and I certainly have called him much worse than "vile". Usually, when Obama is on my mind and I'm in a name-calling mode I trot out "fucking" "moron" "scum-sucking" "soulless" and a few other choice words... all of which raise the bar well over Nugent's girly-words.

So how come I'm not being investigated?

Simple. I don't have any Rock N' Roll groupies. Nugent, despite being an old fart, is a rocker extraordinaire and all true rockers of any age have a following of nubile young hotties just dripping to get some private time with the guitar player. And the Secret Service knows this quite well. Plus, we all now understand that being a part of the SS under the Obama reign means nailing some pussy while protecting the Chief.

So I'm pretty sure nobody in the Secret Service gives a shit about Nugent claiming Obama is vile and evil. They just want a shot at some young stuff. Otherwise I'd already be dead or in Canada*.






* Being in Canada is very similar to being dead, so I apologize for the redundancy.
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Blorb Plorbst
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it's not the name calling but the threat implied by "if Obama is reelected, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year" that would have prompted the investigation.
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CrankyPants wrote:
it's not the name calling but the threat implied by "if Obama is reelected, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year" that would have prompted the investigation.


It does rather soound like a vieled threat, but don't let obvious facts getting in the way of a rant.
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CrankyPants wrote:
it's not the name calling but the threat implied by "if Obama is reelected, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year" that would have prompted the investigation.


Bah. That's a stretch. Nugent didn't say "because I will try and kill" with those words. Look at the rest of his talk where he implies that being a conservative will be criminal. That's the essence of the statement.

The Secret Service just wants free tickets and a shot at some young stuff. Seeing as how the GSA got to do Vegas they're feeling left out.
 
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DWTripp wrote:
CrankyPants wrote:
it's not the name calling but the threat implied by "if Obama is reelected, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year" that would have prompted the investigation.


Bah. That's a stretch. Nugent didn't say "because I will try and kill" with those words. Look at the rest of his talk where he implies that being a conservative will be criminal. That's the essence of the statement.

The Secret Service just wants free tickets and a shot at some young stuff. Seeing as how the GSA got to do Vegas they're feeling left out.


Not seeing thatr, I am seeing talk about battle. It rhetoric of course, but then a lot of rhetoric hides real dangers.
 
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Drew1365 wrote:
Is Louis Farrakhan being investigated for his comment about people killing their leaders in a few days?


Ted Nugent = nubile young hotties

Louis Farrakhan = angry black men with guns

The smart money investigates the guy with the chicks. The guy with the actual hate-speech? Pshaw.
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I see the Secret Service doing what they are paid to do. It was a veiled threat, but probably just a bunch of bull shitting on Nugents part.

It's my job to dismiss it as bull shit. It's their job to investigate it.

Whats the problem?
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DWTripp wrote:
Drew1365 wrote:
Is Louis Farrakhan being investigated for his comment about people killing their leaders in a few days?


Ted Nugent = nubile young hotties

Louis Farrakhan = angry black men with guns

The smart money investigates the guy with the chicks. The guy with the actual hate-speech? Pshaw.


Which is it, boys? They're taking Nugent out of context but Farrakhan must be taken seriously? (Really, who takes Farrakhan seriously about anything?) Pick a lane. I don't think the Secret Service should be wasting their time on either of these idiots. Do you and your lackey actually think Farrakhan is a threat, or is this more of that "our guy said this but your guy did it too" nonsense?
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DWTripp wrote:
CrankyPants wrote:
it's not the name calling but the threat implied by "if Obama is reelected, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year" that would have prompted the investigation.


Bah. That's a stretch. Nugent didn't say "because I will try and kill" with those words. Look at the rest of his talk where he implies that being a conservative will be criminal. That's the essence of the statement.


So is this like a magic secret service genie phrase "because I will try and kill" that would make it an investigation?

-------------

Do we need to bring this up?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabrielle_Giffords

The larger part was that, well, when you have a fanbase of gun-toting lunatics (And lets face it, fans of the nuge haven't exactly been the most sane people I've run across)... you have to watch what you say.

Plus, could he ask for better publicity.
 
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Quote:
So is this like a magic secret service genie phrase "because I will try and kill" that would make it an investigation?


Man, RSP just gets creepier and creepier every day. If you can't figure out what Nugent is all about then I suppose the intent of this thread is lost completely on you. It's a given that some here in RSP are completely devoid of the ability to perceive nuance, but I didn't realize the deadly nuance-killing virus had spread that far.

Giffords has zip to do with this thread. Maybe the nuance virus has infected me and I'm incapable of grasping the point of bringing her up. Or, and I suspect this is the case, the liberal-infested mob here is incapable of accepting the fact that Nugent is awesome, Obama is a puppet of the Commies and that the Secret Service is more interested in getting laid than they are in doing their job with professionalism and dignity.
 
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Drew1365 wrote:
djgutierrez77 wrote:
Do you and your lackey . . .


Couldn't even last a day, could you?


I told you before, only ruling out political cheap shots. The personal ones are my trademark.

Edited to avoid further bans. I think the next one gets me sent to the gulag.
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DWTripp wrote:
Nugent is awesome


Nugent is a self grandiosing asshole. He hasn't had any significance since the 70's so he's found his attention whoring niche' with guns, crossbows and killing everything that walks the earth. He's not the "Mad Rocker", he's the "Sad Washout"
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MWChapel wrote:
DWTripp wrote:
Nugent is awesome


Nugent is a self grandiosing asshole. He hasn't had any significance since the 70's so he's found his attention whoring niche' with guns, crossbows and killing everything that walks the earth. He's not the "Mad Rocker", he's the "Sad Washout"


Nugent is awesome.

Sadly, one has to also be personally awesome to even grok how totally awesome Nugent is. People who bought "Flock of Seagulls" albums need not apply to the awesome universe of Nugent-awesomeness.
 
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Drew1365 wrote:
djgutierrez77 wrote:
Do you and your lackey . . .


Couldn't even last a day, could you?


I think you owe me an apology. You're implying I went back on my word, when I have in fact done exactly what I said I would do. I think that's rather unkind of you.
 
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DWTripp wrote:
MWChapel wrote:
DWTripp wrote:
Nugent is awesome


Nugent is a self grandiosing asshole. He hasn't had any significance since the 70's so he's found his attention whoring niche' with guns, crossbows and killing everything that walks the earth. He's not the "Mad Rocker", he's the "Sad Washout"


Nugent is awesome.

Sadly, one has to also be personally awesome to even grok how totally awesome Nugent is. People who bought "Flock of Seagulls" albums need not apply to the awesome universe of Nugent-awesomeness.


For a second I forgot about the "Willard" thing and wondered if that was actually your name. Just letting you know.
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I'd post in this thread but I'm sure it would earn me an anal probing the next time I'm at JFK.

... damnit...
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Drew1365 wrote:
I seem to recall that there were indications that Jarred Loughner (or however you spell that murder's name -- I don't particularly care if I insult a mass murderer by misspelling his name) had made threats against Giffords before. Was he investigated and assumed to be harmless? Was he never investigated?

The point may be that you have to assume people are serious even when they're known for being a little nutso. If Nuge is a little nutty, then Farrakhan is a Pecan Pie.


So do you think they should go after both of them, or is it ridiculous to investigate either? I think it's a waste of resources in both cases, but I can see a reasonable case for investigating them both.
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djgutierrez77 wrote:

For a second I forgot about the "Willard" thing and wondered if that was actually your name. Just letting you know.


You never know, it could be my actual name. For all you know Mitt and I are bruthas-from-different-muthas and Nuge is the guy who we hung out with when we wanted to be bad.
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DWTripp wrote:


Nugent is awesome.


Nugent is life long draft dodging, womenizing, dead beat pedophile.

Today he thinks he's a patriot. Patriot, my ass.
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Hmmm... a hippie guitar player from the 60's gets a deferment, makes it big, nails a bunch of chicks (unlike any other successful musician in the world) and instead of doing an Elvis and dying on the toilet from drug overdose, he gets religion?

Well fuck me. No wonder the libs can't stand the guy He's a rocker, who got laid and who later in life became a successful activist. Ted is awesome!
 
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Drew1365 wrote:
I seem to recall that there were indications that Jarred Loughner (or however you spell that murder's name -- I don't particularly care if I insult a mass murderer by misspelling his name) had made threats against Giffords before. Was he investigated and assumed to be harmless? Was he never investigated?

The point may be that you have to assume people are serious even when they're known for being a little nutso. If Nuge is a little nutty, then Farrakhan is a Pecan Pie.


I assume Farrakhan has dossiers as thick as your arm with the FBI and the Secret Service, and that he's constantly under surveillance and investigation. But that's just an assumption.
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stpauler wrote:
It's not the first or the last time this happened either:

Quote:
Secret Service probes Eminem 'Bush threat'
Rapper wishes 'president dead' in reported lyrics to new song 'We as Americans'


Or here.
Quote:
Upset by the war in Iraq, Julia Wilson vented her frustrations with President Bush last spring on her Web page on MySpace.com.

She posted a picture of the president, scrawled "Kill Bush" across the top and drew a dagger stabbing his outstretched hand. She later replaced her page on the social-networking site after learning in her eighth-grade history class that such threats are a federal offense.


Or here.
Quote:

Secret Service confiscates anti-Bush drawings by 15-year-old at Prosser High

On Friday, the boy was questioned by the Secret Service after his art teacher turned in sketches by the boy featuring President Bush. In one, Bush's head was on a stake. In another, he was dressed as the devil, firing off rockets. The caption on one sketch read, "End the War -- on errorism."


I'm assuming if you have a problem with the SS's reaction to Nugent, you have a problem with these as well, right?


Why would you assume he doesn't?
 
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stpauler wrote:

I'm assuming if you have a problem with the SS's reaction to Nugent, you have a problem with these as well, right?


I assume that you missed class the day they covered inverse sublimity.
 
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stpauler wrote:
djgutierrez77 wrote:


Why would you assume he doesn't?

I didn't. I assumed he would have a problem with those. That's why I said that.


It's the same bullshit as Drew tried by bringing Farrakhan into it. You're thinking you're going to cleverly trap someone into stating a self-contradictory opinion.

What's the prize if you win?
 
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bjlillo wrote:
Golux13 wrote:
I assume Farrakhan has dossiers as thick as your arm with the FBI and the Secret Service, and that he's constantly under surveillance and investigation. But that's just an assumption.


Hmm...this is probably right.


It's gotta be. That guy is fucking insane, and has been spouting off for years.
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