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Yes, I really am that awesome.
I have a friend who has lived in Brooklyn for about 20 years. When he first moved in, he was in a mob neighborhood. He said it was nice in one way: As long as everybody paid their protection money, there was zero crime in the neighborhood - no muggings, no breakins, nothing. And as a tenant, he didn't have to pay (well, not directly; perhaps his landlord needed to charge higher rent to cover the costs, so he could have been paying indirectly).
He didn't mention anything about keeping ketchup prices low though. Maybe that was a benefit that he forgot to bring up.