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Subject: Bad chemistry joke thread rss

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Bitter and Acerbic Harridan
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Re: Bad chemistry jokes thread
PLEASE CHANGE THREAD TITLE TO "BAD CHEMISTRY JOKE THREAD"
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Morgan Dontanville
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Re: Bad chemistry jokes thread
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Chris Binkowski
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Re: Bad chemistry jokes thread
So is 'Plutonium' now a dwarf element?

I wouldn't call it that myself: it has quite the temper! Gonna stay neutron.
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Ben Lott
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Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?


A: Barium
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kuhrusty wrote:
PLEASE CHANGE THREAD TITLE TO "BAD CHEMISTRY JOKE THREAD"

Awwwww, you're no fun.







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Bitter and Acerbic Harridan
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kSwingrÜber
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So... heard any good Sodium jokes?

Na
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So, why do chemists like nitrates?

Spoiler (click to reveal)
They're cheaper than day-rates.
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Jeff
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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
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Mark Finch
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A rhyme from my school days

Poor old Albert's dead and gone,
His face, you'll see no more.
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2S04.
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she2 wrote:
kuhrusty wrote:
PLEASE CHANGE THREAD TITLE TO "BAD CHEMISTRY JOKE THREAD"
Awwwww, you're no fun.
No, see, I was complaining that there was only one joke--
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Mike K
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What did Santa say when he first saw water droplets under a microscope?

H-OH, H-OH, H-OH!
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Mark Finch
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MFinch wrote:
A rhyme from my school days

Poor old Albert's dead and gone,
His face, you'll see no more.
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2S04.

Heh. Typing this has caused me to reminisce about just how badass sulphuric acid was to 8 year olds down our way. Typical instant arms escalations went along these lines:-

A: You kicked the ball over the fence, so you go and get it.
B: No, you go and get it. I went last time.
A: No, you.
B: No, you.

- rapid escalation follows -

A: ....yeah? Well, I'll shoot down your plane with my tank!
B: So what?! I'll blow up your tank with my aircraft carrier!
A: Yeah?! Yeah?! I'll sink your aircraft carrier ...with SULPHURIC ACID!!!

Pause.

B: Ok. I will go and get the ball.

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Paul DeStefano
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Many years ago, one of the guys in my band was dating a guy named Boron.

That's not the joke, I swear this kid's name was Boron.

I told him I wouldn't let my daughter date that kind of element.
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And if I could slide on over to biology for 3 minutes and 50 seconds...



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James Bentley
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Serious pun overload, must leave now...





(Actually these were great, thanks for the laugh, needed it today...)
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J Boyes
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Some gold walks into a bar, the bartender says "AA! YOU!!"
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Robert Wesley
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Re: Bad chemistry joke thread/threat
~"I ONCE 'shot' an 'element' in MY 'pajamas'! ewwww!" blush
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Josh Jennings
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Two chemists walk in to a restaurant.
The first chemist says, "I think I'll have an H20."
The second chemist says, "I think I'll have an H20 too." -- and he died.
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Larry Haskell
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In the faculty lounge a German professor, a French professor and a chemistry professor were enjoying a drink and some friendly conversation. As they finished their drinks, the German professor stood up and said, "Auf Wiedersehen! Ahh, forgive me my friends! That means "good-bye" in German.

The French scholar, not to be outdone, stands and says, "Au revoir, mes amis! That's "Good-bye, my friends!" in French.

The chemistry professor thinks for a moment while his colleagues look on smugly. Suddenly he smiles, stands and says, "HCN -- that's good-bye in any language."

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Dean
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MFinch wrote:
A rhyme from my school days

Poor old Albert's dead and gone,
His face, you'll see no more.
For what he thought was H2O
Was H2S04.
Another in a similar vein


Ooey Gooey was a worm
A little worm was he
Instead of drinking H2O
He drank HNO3
Ooey gooey!


I (mostly) got that from a toilet stall in the chemistry building. The sad thing was that the scribe had clearly forgotten which acid was supposed to be in the poem, and wrote "H2SO4" instead of nitric acid, breaking the rhyme entirely. shake
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Matt Riddle
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great thread!
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Jeff
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GROGnads wrote:
~"I ONCE 'shot' an 'element' in MY 'pajamas'! ewwww!" blush

What it was doing in my pajamas I'll never know....
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