Craig Benn
United Kingdom
Unspecified
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While digging through some files I discovered this old session report for a CG4 with Mark Blackmore back in 2008. We played six CG dates - German day attack and Russian night counterattack three times each with an idle on 16 Sept. This is for the last 17th September night attack...






Senior private Sergei Malinovsky crawled slowly towards his objective, the bullet shattered walls of Stalingrad central station. Railway lines twisted by huge forces looked like broken childrens toys. The streets were covered in brick dust and corpses. Most unsettling was the eerie quiet, punctuated only by the more adventurous rats.

He’d been desperate to join the Komsomol because he really hated the germans….a lot. Now he had to complete the mission. Slowly he reached into his rucksack…

Sometime later he felt the prod of a machine-pistol in his back…Ruki werch Russ!
Turning round he saw a tall lean german captain with an iron cross and the cloverleaf of the 71st Infantrie division on his shoulders. He dropped the paint pot and looked helplessly at the words he’d painted on the wall.

The captain prodded him again with the muzzle of the MP40…
Wots this then? - Deutscher steight in Haus- A german goes into the house?”

Sergei knew he was a dead man – “It says Germans go home” he said softly.

No it doesn’t. How many Germans?”
“Er…all of them”
“So Deutsche not Deutscher
” – The Captain picked up the paintbrush with his spare hand and crossed out the R.
Steight? What is Steight?”
Go…”
Conjugate the verb to go
Uh…gehe…gehen…geht
Right…the imperative for they is?”
Um…gehen?” he hazarded
Haus? Haus? How many germans are going home boy?”
“Lots?”

The German captain gave him a good kicking so he’d appreciate the importance of proper grammar.
Deutsche gehen nach Hause – now write it out a hundred times or I’ll cut your balls off”
Sergei spoke in painful gasps “not much point…” choke “I think they…” ahhh “have already gone

The centurion looked carefully around the abandoned german equipment and squinted at Sergei.
Hitler kaputtt…Steamboat Willy…toot…toot…” he said hopefully.


And that was it. Midway through turn four Russian movement phase my opponents lip quivered and he resigned. I had concentrated a four to one superiority at the point of attack, and after some first turn bad dice everything went right. The german lines were bust open on a twenty hex front, and with the bulk of his troops still under no move, he couldn’t do anything about it.

I figured he’d think I would attack in the north to re-connect my perimeter with the board edge. So I didn’t put anything in that sector at all – except a company of reserves, leaving enough bodies to attack in the middle. He’d put some AP mines down, and had some dummies in front of a couple of MMG’s, but there were still enough gaps for me to infiltrate round, and eat the defenders.

I killed four squads and a couple of crews, captured a 76L and lost three squads and a couple of crews by that point so it was hardly a major blood letting for either of us. Mopping up was finished by turn two – it was basically a race to get as far as possible before the scenario ended. The strike force in the sewers was pretty much a wasted effort as german resistance collapsed before they got into position. I think a better idea is to have them go first, and then make the main assault a turn or two later. Obvious with hindsight of course.

I was surprised at the capitulation. I didn’t feel that the loss of territory was critical, as it could always be retaken…but there were another two night attacks to come I suppose.

I feel like one of the soldiers in the “ballad of Halo Jones” after the ceasefire – who took my war away!!!
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William Hosch
United States
Merrillville
Indiana
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A flashback to my High School Latin class and Life of Brian (1979):

[Brian is writing graffiti on the palace wall. The Centurion catches him in the act]

Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?

Brian: It says, "Romans go home."

Centurion: No it doesn't! What's the Latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on!

Brian: Er, "Romanus"!

Centurion: Vocative plural of "Romanus" is?

Brian: Er, er, "Romani"!

Centurion: [Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go"!

Brian: Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt".

Centurion: So, "eunt" is...?

Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".

Centurion: But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use...?

[He twists Brian's ear]

Brian: Aaagh! The imperative!

Centurion: Which is...?

Brian: Aaaagh! Er, er, "i"!

Centurion: How many Romans?

Brian: Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite"!

Centurion: [Writes "ite"] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it?

Brian: Dative!

[The Centurion holds a sword to his throat]

Brian: Aaagh! Not the dative, not the dative! Er, er, accusative, "Domum"!

Centurion: But "Domus" takes the locative, which is...?

Brian: Er, "Domum"!

Centurion: [Writes "Domum"] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.

Brian: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.

Centurion: Hail Caesar! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.
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It's just a ride...
England
Bury St Edmunds
Suffolk
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Welease Wommel!
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Andy Beaton
Canada
Toronto
Ontario
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I have a cunning plan
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The only people we hate more than the Germans are the Stalingrad People's Front!
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Brent Pollock
Canada
Saskatoon
Saskatchewan
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SPLITTERS!
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