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Subject: Can BGG critique the rules for my indie game? rss

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Zero Budget Geek
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I need help with the rough draft of the rules for my game, Dragon Blast: Battlestorm. Can you guys please critique it and give me some constructive pointers? Don't worry about the layout, that will change. This is just a rough draft of the text. I want to make sure its understandable and free of errors. My goal is to keep it as short as possible so players can get into the game relatively quickly. I am limited in space, so I can't put in lots of graphics and diagrams. In the end it will need to be 4 pages, double sided with 3 columns. I can't format it that way yet because Google Docs lacks the functionality. Any input anyone can give will be invaluable. Thank you!

Here is the text: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15XB7oh5Amco9F-ZATiSCFvLf...

For some background on this game, you can go here to see the first edition of it: https://www.thegamecrafter.com/games/dragon-blast

These new rules are for the upcoming second edition.
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Scott Nelson
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Go to Dropbox.com and get some free space. 2 gigs to start with.
You can place anything in that space, and share only what you want to.

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Nate K
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ropearoni4 wrote:
Go to Dropbox.com and get some free space. 2 gigs to start with.
You can place anything in that space, and share only what you want to.



Seconded. With Dropbox, you can still access your design documents from any computer (hurray for designing games at work!), but you can work in whatever program you need--Excel, Word, etc. That way, you can keep the formatting you actually want, which Google Docs doesn't really allow you to do.
 
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Nate K
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As to the rules, I think you definitely need to work on the formatting, and maybe include a brief FAQ and a glossary. But the only issues with the actual text that I had were in the Setup section.

Players are all dealt 7 cards, but then they have to reveal cards to determine starting player. How is the "highest value" determined? And what happens to those cards after they are revealed? Are they discarded, or kept in-hand?

And what are the rules, exactly, for the non-starting players placing their character tokens on the board? Does "clockwise" mean that each player, in clockwise order from the starting player, get to place their token wherever they wish? Or does it mean that each player places his character in a position on the board that is clockwise from the starting player?
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Mark McGee
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I gave it a medium speed read. Here's some of the stuff I found.

Page 3, in the End Turn section, you have
"The current turn and any effects, end." I wouldn't put a comma in there.

Is line of sight from the center of the player's piece to center of the target's piece, or can I draw LOS from the edge of my piece to my target, or is it the square on the board that counts?

On page 4, in the Martial Arts section, you have "If the ability matches your own characters’ ability..." The apostrophe should be left of the 's' unless you control multiple characters.

Later on page 4 you have "The player who gets 3 Victory Tokens first, wins the game." I wouldn't put a comma there. I'd actually rephrase it like "The first player to get 3 Victory Tokens wins the game."

It would be difficult for me to grok the rules without at least having the game pieces in front of me. Without that, I'd absolutely need pictures. That's how I understand best. Because of that I can't say one way or another whether this text clearly describes the game. Personally, I need pictures or the components.
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Zero Budget Geek
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kurthl33t wrote:
ropearoni4 wrote:
Go to Dropbox.com and get some free space. 2 gigs to start with.
You can place anything in that space, and share only what you want to.



Seconded. With Dropbox, you can still access your design documents from any computer (hurray for designing games at work!), but you can work in whatever program you need--Excel, Word, etc. That way, you can keep the formatting you actually want, which Google Docs doesn't really allow you to do.


Thanks for the advice! I do use Dropbox as well as Google Drive. For now I'm more concerned with the actual text. Formatting will come later. I did it this way because it is easier for me to edit it anywhere from any of my devices. But I appreciate your input, thank you!
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Zero Budget Geek
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I'll be fixing the formatting soon, it's not really my biggest concern yet. The highest value of the cards is right on it in big numbers. Looking at the cards it isn't hard to figure out. Revealed cards go back into your hand. I fixed the text to address this.

I also tweaked the text for placing the character tokens on the board.

Thank your for taking the time to read and your input. It is invaluable!
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Zero Budget Geek
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meshnaster wrote:
I gave it a medium speed read. Here's some of the stuff I found.

Page 3, in the End Turn section, you have
"The current turn and any effects, end." I wouldn't put a comma in there.

Is line of sight from the center of the player's piece to center of the target's piece, or can I draw LOS from the edge of my piece to my target, or is it the square on the board that counts?

On page 4, in the Martial Arts section, you have "If the ability matches your own characters’ ability..." The apostrophe should be left of the 's' unless you control multiple characters.

Later on page 4 you have "The player who gets 3 Victory Tokens first, wins the game." I wouldn't put a comma there. I'd actually rephrase it like "The first player to get 3 Victory Tokens wins the game."

It would be difficult for me to grok the rules without at least having the game pieces in front of me. Without that, I'd absolutely need pictures. That's how I understand best. Because of that I can't say one way or another whether this text clearly describes the game. Personally, I need pictures or the components.


I fixed the phrase about end of turn. Fixed line of sight. Fixed the phrase regarding Martial Arts. Fixed the Victory Token phrase, thank you for the re-phrase!

When I write rules, I assume the reader has the game right in front of them for reference. I try to keep the rules as brief as possible so they can get into the game as fast as possible. I also have a lot of reminder text on the game components to reduce players having to reference the rules. I'm limited on space in the rules because I'm trying to keep the price of the game as low as possible. The more pages the rules become, the more it will cost. I'll have a formatted version of the rules up soon. Thank you for taking the time to read and give such great input. It really means a lot!
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Zero Budget Geek
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Here is the latest version of the rules, feedback welcome: https://www.dropbox.com/s/cktksp0k6djmss2/Dragon%20Blast%20B...
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Herc du Preez
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Looks like some all d's are missing if I view it (maybe I am doing something wrong)

e.g. 2 Battlefiel s - The Temple/Crossroa s
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Nate K
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Avianfoo wrote:
Looks like some all d's are missing if I view it (maybe I am doing something wrong)

e.g. 2 Battlefiel s - The Temple/Crossroa s


I on't appear to be having that problem. Maybe it has something to o with your browser?











In all seriousness, though, I can see all the "d"s just fine.
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Zero Budget Geek
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I don't see anything wrong, try viewing it with a different browser.
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Scott Nelson
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edgd00 wrote:
I don't see anything wrong, try viewing it with a different browser.


Using IE 9 - no d's here either. All D's no d's.
Firefox no d's

but it comes down to pdf viewer not browser.

nope, on second look, Chrome works lovely. All d's are there.
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