Rusty McFisticuffs
United States
Arcata
California
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So here's the deal. Everybody always wants to play Wiz-War. Not like the light, fun, "I'm just going to get two treasures and win" Wiz-War played by decent sensible people around the world. My friends play "I'm going to cast Buddy on you, and then seal you in a closet with me, and laugh at you punching the wall for 20 turns because I'm holding Teleport, Pass Through Wall, and both Destroy Walls" Wiz-War. I hate these guys.
So Big Scott, Dan, and Dan's girlfriend D'har are over. We've prayed for each other's stores to burn down in Agora. We've eaten bugs & taken each others' money in Renfield. We've done... uhh, the stuff you do in Fluxx.
Now everyone wants to play Wiz-War.
I try to warn them. I suggest friendlier stuff: Very Clever Pipe Game, Aquarius, Senator. "We just played this on Wednesday," I complain. "It'll be too slow with four!" No, only Wiz-War will do.
Oh yeah, I should probably mention that this is the first time D'har has gamed with us.
This is her first time playing Wiz-War, too.
D'har and I start off in line-of-sight of each other and a pretty good run at each others' treasure. We start running; on the other side of the board, Dan puts out Visionstone and casts Buddy on Big Scott, who screams in anguish and prepares for a lot of wall-punching.
So it's the start of turn two. D'har has just run by me on her way to my treasure; I'm holding Sudden Death and Anti-Anti. Ha ha haaa!!
But then I have this twinge of doubt. It might not be totally cool to hit someone with Sudden Death in the very first turn that they're eligible to be attacked, in their very first game ever. Especially if you want them to bring pie & ice cream again next time. (And especially if you want there to be a next time. See, the odds of Dan getting to come over are closely tied to the odds of D'har wanting to come over, which--just a guess here--might be related to the odds of her getting savagely attacked for no reason.)
But then I doubt my doubt. I hate it when people blather about women liking different kinds of games than men; am I going easy on her because she's a girl!? Have I been duped by her fiendish X chromosomes?
So I apply a simple test: if Ray The Bastard Who Always Casts Buddy On Me ran past me on his way to steal my treasure, would I hesitate to cast Sudden Death on him? The answer is obvious: "only long enough to check my hand for Amplify!"
So. Sudden Death it is. (No, she doesn't actually die, she just drops from 15 down to 5 life points. See? No harm done!) Then I run off in a manly way and cast Fill Square With Stone behind me so that she can't retaliate. (And also so that she can't get home easily.)
...
Some chaotic, emotionally damaging turns pass. Through a combination of Teleport, Speed, and Rotate Sector, I've dropped off one treasure at my base and am running home with the second. (Umm, somewhere in there, for a very good reason which I can't remember now, I had to hit D'har with a Lightningblast so that she'd lose a turn; this dropped her to 4 life points.) Big Scott can't attack Dan--Buddy is the most evil card in the game!--so he's trying to injure him indirectly with Destroy Wall and stuff. I'm going to win in a turn or two... but D'har casts Illusion Wall between me and my home base. (The other side is corked with that Fill Square With Stone, remember.) I round the corner, and fail my roll, so the wall is real to me. Crap! There's another way into my base, but it's a loooong walk, through everyone else's sectors and a bunch of doors. I'm screwed.
Right after this, Big Scott does something sneaky, and runs to within two squares of his base with a second treasure; he's going to win on his next turn. I can't do anything about it; D'har says she can't do anything about it, and I don't even bother asking Dan, because he's on the other side of the planet from Big Scott.
So, look. D'har's at 4 life points. I'm holding Powerthrust and a 2, which will do a total of 4 points. We each have one turn left to live. Obviously God wants me to kill her.
So I do. No big deal, right?
Then Dan--and I blame Dan for making me be an asshole here--Dan does some Herculean play-all-7-cards-and-zoom-across-the-board maneuver, and picks up the treasure on Big Scott's base.
So now the situation is, the new player is dead, and the game is still on. Way on. I start my 20-turn walk, Dan casts Mist-Body and slides away with the treasure Scott needs to win, and Scott starts walking towards the nearest treasure which will work for him, which is... oh it's all so horrible. Every turn--and there were a lot of them--when it would get to D'har, and she'd get skipped over because some idiot, you know, KILLED HER, I had to apologize. Some turns, I tried to argue that it was a mercy killing--I couldn't let her see Big Scott win, could I!?
(Now, you might think, "isn't there some way she could, I don't know, come back or somehow rejoin the game, so that she could do something more fun than watching you idiots play Wiz-War?" The answer would be no! You think this is Wiz-Tea-Party? I didn't want to play this goddamn game in the first place! I knew it was a bad idea! I told them, but would they listen?!)
After many, many, many turns, I won.
Dan & D'har left.
They took the leftover pie & ice cream with them.
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phil v
United States
Richmond (North of Berkeley)
California
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hah!
It's a dirty, sneaky game. If you can't give your best game, you're just cheating everyone else.
But 1st turn?! That's harsh.
Take heart, apple pie's overrated.
- Phil (needs a copy of wiz war)
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Daniel Stroud
United States
Austin
Texas
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A riveting tale.
 Note to self: Don't play with this guy.
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j b Goodwin
Lynchburg
Virginia
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This is why this game will always be on my Top Ten list.
Everybody always wants to play Wiz-War.
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Michael Sosa
United States
Newark
Delaware
I will break him.
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Fun story. Multiplayer Wiz War is chaotic fun, can't take yourself seriously while playing it. Last time I played I lost quickly when two different players both took my treasures. WTF am I supposed to do about that, when another player had blocked me off? Aaargh
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Rusty McFisticuffs
United States
Arcata
California
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Belisarius88 wrote: Last time I played I lost quickly when two different players both took my treasures.
Actually, we never use that rule! It's a fine rule and all, but we want people to be free to run around stealing each others' treasures, not having to run back and protect their own.
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Nicholas
United States
Colorado
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If you are playing with good friends, this game will definitely bring out the bastard in you. Like, say, locking someone in place for 38 turns.
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Shaun
United States
Minneapolis
Minnesota
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I might not be following your session correctly, but you said you already had one treasure at your base, correct? That's 1 point. Don't you also score a point for killing another wizard? If so, that's 2 points. And if I recall correctly, you only need 2 points to win. I may be missing something, but didn't you win immediately when you killed D'har?
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You've stumbled into the "Classic Wiz-War" forum, where the rules pre-date the FFG edition.
Specifically, the Classic edition win conditions are:
1. Have two treasures that are not yours on the ground of your base at the same time.
*or*
2. All other wizards must be dead.
The notion of "Victory Points" for treasures and wizard kills, with 2VP to win first appears in the FFG rules.
(interesting to see that Rusty's group was playing non-deadly treasures way back when. I've always considered that rule to be extremely important to the balance of the game. Of course, I've also always said that mucking with rules won't break anything, because Wiz-War is flexible.)
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Shaun
United States
Minneapolis
Minnesota
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Not Sure wrote: You've stumbled into the "Classic Wiz-War" forum, where the rules pre-date the FFG edition.
Specifically, the Classic edition win conditions are:
1. Have two treasures that are not yours on the ground of your base at the same time.
*or*
2. All other wizards must be dead.
The notion of "Victory Points" for treasures and wizard kills, with 2VP to win first appears in the FFG rules.
(interesting to see that Rusty's group was playing non-deadly treasures way back when. I've always considered that rule to be extremely important to the balance of the game. Of course, I've also always said that mucking with rules won't break anything, because Wiz-War is flexible.)
Aha! Thanks a ton. I didn't look at the date when this was posted, and my only exposure with the game has been with the FFG version.
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Jeff Wiles
United States
Macon
Georgia
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The important questions here, now that over six years have passed, are "Did Dan & D'har come back?" and "Did they bring pie?"
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Brian Bankler
United States
San Antonio
Texas
"Keep Summer Safe!"
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jeffwiles wrote: The important questions here, now that over six years have passed, are "Did Dan & D'har come back?" and is "Did they bring pie?"
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Chris in Kansai
Japan
Otsu
Shiga
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Bankler wrote: jeffwiles wrote: The important questions here, now that over six years have passed, are "Did Dan & D'har come back?" and is "Did they bring pie?"
Still waiting... 
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