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Subject: Gaming with your Significant Other rss

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I've seen a lot of couples who just can't wargame together. It's too stressful.

I am very grateful I have a wife who has no compunctions about kicking my butt (and no resentment when the reverse happens). We just played Shogun (Ikusa), and because of the set-up, there was never even the suggestion that we might be allied. And I ultimately ended up killing one of her armies and knocking her down to a 3rd place (of 5) finish. No hard feelings.

What is your people's experiences?
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Greg S
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I've had very little success in getting my wife to play boardgames with me. She enjoys the spectacle of miniature gaming, but the "hex and counter" types of games leave her cold - and me opponent-less.

I think she's played two boardgames with me in our 24 years of marriage: Space Empires: 4X and Commands & Colors: Ancients, and even playing those her heart just wasn't in it.

Oh well, I'll gladly take her adorable nature and beauty over her desire to play wargames!
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Rockhopper01 wrote:
My wife will play wargames, but nothing too hardcore.


Hardcore length? Hardcore complexity?

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Ted Spencer
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Rockhopper01 wrote:
My wife will play wargames, but nothing too hardcore. She likes block games like Sekigahara: The Unification of Japan and Liberty: The American Revolution 1775-83, and she'll play No Retreat! The Russian Front.

She loves Twilight Struggle and 1989: Dawn of Freedom. I know they're not widely considered wargames, but I mention them because I think I could probably get her to play any card-driven or card-enhanced wargame.
Does your wife have a sister?
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superflat wrote:
Rockhopper01 wrote:
My wife will play wargames, but nothing too hardcore. She likes block games like Sekigahara: The Unification of Japan and Liberty: The American Revolution 1775-83, and she'll play No Retreat! The Russian Front.

She loves Twilight Struggle and 1989: Dawn of Freedom. I know they're not widely considered wargames, but I mention them because I think I could probably get her to play any card-driven or card-enhanced wargame.
Does your wife have a sister?


Does your wife have an open mind?

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Rockhopper01 wrote:
Neopeius wrote:
Rockhopper01 wrote:
My wife will play wargames, but nothing too hardcore.


Hardcore length? Hardcore complexity?



Yeah both. She isn't going to sit still more than 3 hours, max.


Unless we play a multi-player game, our sessions tend not to be very long at a stretch. We usually leave a game set up for several days. We played Lost Battles and The Battle of Moscow over quite a number of sessions, a couple of hours at a time.

Damn. Now I want to play The Battle of Moscow again. I think because it's cold.
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My SO likes to play Hive and Carcassonne, mostly. I was teaching her MTG but that led to the biggest fight we've ever had, so I dunno about going down that road again.

When I told her about the upcoming Serbien Muss Sterbien and the meaning behind the title she asked "are you gonna get it?" Her dad was from Belgrade and now she reckons she needs to kick some Austrian ass.

Win.
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Steve Arthur
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YOU'VE GOT TO BE JOKING!!!!!

Edit:I'd better elaborate..soon after our relationship started we were involved together in a game of Scrabble...this spawned a serious disagreement as to whether the word 'bra' was an abbreviation or not...harsh words were exchanged significantly endangering our relationship..this incident is still brought up 20 years after the event when the day to day battle for the moral high gound requires some heavy artillery..old wounds are sadly reopened causing distress and tears...it's just not worth the risk..

Besides she's not interested in wargaming...which suits me just fine
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The MTG fight was epic. I slept in the living room for three days.
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My wife enjoys a variety of games; including Wargames. She's not into miniatures, CCGs, or RPGs, but I'm lucky she enjoys the rest. cool
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Kyle Seely
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We play plenty of games together, but the closest we've gotten to a wargame is Twilight Struggle. We've only played it once. But she's always willing to try something new - and she really enjoys strategy games that have historical elements to them.

Although she's been reading a lot of World War II books recently, so maybe it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to get her interested in some Combat Commander: Europe scenarios... devil
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My wife actually likes wargaming with me better than playing other games. If we play Checkers (she won't even touch Chess!) or something fairly abstract like Carcassonne she finds it annoying if she loses. On the other hand, in a wargame she feels like she's gotten to see an interesting story unfold regardless of whether she wins or loses. She also likes the variety introduced by the luck factors (dice, cards, etc.).

Her preferred game is Napoleon's War II: The Gates of Moscow (or Napoleon's War: The 100 Days). She also really likes Commands & Colors: Ancients and Julius Caesar.

She is looking forward to trying both The Tide at Sunrise: The Russo-Japanese War, 1904-1905 and A Victory Denied as she wants to try out the hex and counter side of things.

She hasn't closed the door on ASL but she's skeptical on that one, which I understand. She might do ASL Starter Kit though, or else maybe Conflict of Heroes.
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My wife isn't a native English speaker, so language-dependent games like Twilight Struggle are out. She does enjoy euros, and we also play a lot of Battle Line, but the closest we've gotten to a wargame is Friedrich, at which she is quite competent.
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Requete wrote:
My wife actually likes wargaming with me better than playing other games. If we play Checkers (she won't even touch Chess!) or something fairly abstract like Carcassonne she finds it annoying if she loses. On the other hand, in a wargame she feels like she's gotten to see an interesting story unfold regardless of whether she wins or loses. She also likes the variety introduced by the luck factors (dice, cards, etc.).


I can see that. When the focus of the game is the interpersonal conflict, it's.. more personal.

As someone once here said, in a wargame, the narrative is the unfolding history. In a Euro, the narrative is the actions of the players.

I was talking to Mads, the fellow who was down on little girls playing wargames (and maybe wargames in general--I haven't finished out conversation) because they numb you to violence and death. Honestly, I think Euros are way more vicious. Since there's no story to them, it's either win or lose. With a wargame, you often don't mind losing for the reason described above.
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I inadvertently made my wife cry playing Richard III: The Wars of the Roses, and on another occasion, Dominant Species. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I did make strong moves that crippled nobles and starved fledgling birds respectively. Needless to say, we now enjoy games like The Castles of Burgundy and Glen More. I still buy wargames, but I make sure they can be played solo.
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rlux202 wrote:
I inadvertently made my wife cry playing Richard III: The Wars of the Roses, and on another occasion, Dominant Species. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I did make strong moves that crippled nobles and starved fledgling birds respectively. Needless to say, we now enjoy games like The Castles of Burgundy and Glen More. I still buy wargames, but I make sure they can be played solo.


That is.. sad
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Brian Weire
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It will be a cold day in hell when she touches a wargame. She has no problem with me playing or buying them, she just has zero interest in them. She likes trivia type games, which I'm horrible at, so we hardly play any kind of board games.
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Neopeius wrote:
I've seen a lot of couples who just can't wargame together. It's too stressful.


Other than shopping and cooking, it's the only thing we do together.

Just about everything ELSE is too stressful.
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Atraxrobustus wrote:
YOU'VE GOT TO BE JOKING!!!!!

Edit:I'd better elaborate..soon after our relationship started we were involved together in a game of Scrabble...this spawned a serious disagreement as to whether the word 'bra' was an abbreviation or not..


Well, we have an agreement that if the word has its own entry in the, for us, OED then it is allowed. Bra does have it's own entry so therefore would be allowed.
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Richard Feather
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Neopeius wrote:
rlux202 wrote:
I inadvertently made my wife cry playing Richard III: The Wars of the Roses, and on another occasion, Dominant Species. I don't think I did anything wrong, but I did make strong moves that crippled nobles and starved fledgling birds respectively. Needless to say, we now enjoy games like The Castles of Burgundy and Glen More. I still buy wargames, but I make sure they can be played solo.


That is.. sad


It's ok, brother. We both got over it quickly (twice). Now we play games that we both love.
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My wife enjoys playing wargame with me. When we met four years ago, I was playing Euros mostly, and just starting to get back into wargames. She enjoyed playing the Euros, and said she would try Memoir '44. It's been downhill from there. I think my proudest moment was last year when we were playing Memoir '44 Overlord with some friends. We were on opposite side, and she texted me in the middle of the game to say, "I'd rather be playing ASLSK". Our biggest blow up to date was over the hedgerow rules in Band of Brothers. That was about this time last year, and it has not been touched since. She recently agreed to try a turn of OCS, but she did not enjoy it. There wasn't enough fighting for her.
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Quote:
My wife isn't a native English speaker


English is my SO's third language, after Chinese and Serbian (typical Canadian, right?) but she speaks & writes English better than I do, now.
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usrlocal wrote:
calandale wrote:
Neopeius wrote:
I've seen a lot of couples who just can't wargame together. It's too stressful.


Other than shopping and cooking, it's the only thing we do together.

Just about everything ELSE is too stressful.


So I guess golf is out.


Yes. Trespassing on golf courses may be within reach though.
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Ah, let's see. I would not call my wife a gamer, although she plays Chess, has played Go a few times, and her personal favorite game is Scrabble.

She has played and liked Hammer of the Scots, which I would say is her favorite lite-wargame, but she won't play a traditional hex-map and counter wargame.

She has tried Shogun, Samurai, Titan, Struggle of Empires, Arkham Horror, and some other euros, but can probably take them or leave them.

No stress involved at all, other than the occasional raised eyebrow at too large of a new box arriving at the doorstep.
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Let's see, my wife likes wargames more than Euros. We have played several GBoH titles (with full rules) which she really enjoyed: Great Battles of Alexander, Conquest of Gaul, Ran, Chandragupta, also some operational Napoleon games by Kevin Zucker. We tried Burma (OCS) once but she didn't like the learning scenario, there were not enough interesting decisions to make.

CDGs don't work because of the language barrier but she is willing to try anything else I suggest. We also played some easier magazine and folio games but she didn't like them, they felt too easy and boring.

She doesn't mind playing for several hours either but currently we don't get around playing because of the kids.

Yes, I am lucky .
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