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Subject: Good, Bad, I’m the guy with the gun rss

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Dane Peacock
United States
Stansbury Park
Utah
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I made my way out to the parking lot to see what I could scrounge up. It must have been my lucky day. A delivery truck was on its side just a few feet from the entrance. I wasn’t the only one with that idea. There was a tough looking dude in survival gear standing next to a cheerleader chick, making like fly paper. I pushed past them and climbed into the truck.

“Where do you think you’re going?” The big guy said. I kept going.

“Hey, you think you’re all bad or something?” He shouted after me.

I stuck my head out of the truck, showed them my hardware, “Good, Bad, I’m the guy with the gun.” They took the hint.

I rummaged around and found a small hammer, an axe, and would you believe it, a box with a grenade. Oh yeah. I slipped the grenade into my pocket, and climbed from the truck.

The cheerleader was doing the old back bend, must have been his breath. She looked at me all pleading like. I was in love. I walked over, put my arm around her, and pulled her away. She looked at my axe and cozied right up to me. I handed her the axe. I am such a softy.

The big guy was fish-eyeing the hammer. “You want this?” I asked. He looked at me. I chucked the hammer about half way across the parking lot.

“You jerk.” He said. Then his eyes got real wide. I spun. The girl screamed. There it was, all decomposed and hungry looking. It wasn’t the first zombie that I had ever seen, but I hadn’t expected them to reach the mall so quickly.

“You going to use that?” I asked the girl, nodding at the axe. “I don’t know,” She whispered in my ear, “Looks like all he wants is a BIG meal.” I got it. She screamed again and ran to the big guy.

He smiled, “That’s right baby. You know that the real man can protect you.” She suddenly slipped and fell in front of him. I was on him in an instant. I pushed, he tripped over her, the zombie had him, he screamed. It was the oldest trick in the book.

We watched helplessly as the zombie ate the big survivalist dude. She was fondling her axe with meaning. I, with my hand in my pocket, was clutching tightly to the grenade.

The zombie, fully fed, lumbered away. He didn’t leave much. We scurried back into the mall. The girl blew me a kiss and started for the toy store. I watched her go, liking what I saw. I made my way to the restroom. There was a cop and a homeboy in there. Old friends from way back before the zombies, I bet.

I had just unzipped when a single zombie started banging on the door. I didn’t even break stream.

I was getting real tired of being in the dark. I went for the security station. Silk was already there, a real looker from my agency. I wondered where our third member, Tank, was hiding.

Others were there as well. There was a big football star from the local college team, the Monroeville Marauders, probably my cheerleader’s friend.

What really caught my eye, however, was the fine Daisy type girl in cut offs with legs up to here. She smiled at me. Well what do you know; she had all of her teeth, as well as all of her other parts in all the right places.

Her brother, cousin, husband, and/or whatever was with her, giving me the evil eye. What he was missing in looks and smarts, he made up for in the gun he was carrying. Yeah, we were going to get along real well.

Silk gave me the elbow to the gut, “Keep you mind on business” she said. She's wanted me for years, she just doesn’t know it.

The skinny redneck looked at me, “Hey Dracula, what you wearin yer sunglasses at night indoors fer?” That must have been a real good one where he’s from. He got a big laugh out of it.

“Okay, so who gets to run the cameras” asked the jock. I started for the controls. So did the possum eater.

Silk saw trouble. She said, “Let’s take a vote.”

“Here’s my vote,” Said Possum Munch, bringing his gun up to my head. Mine was already locked between his eyes. We stood like statues for several seconds. He threw a threat out at me. The guy was crazy. I might be too, but I am not stupid. I know when I am beat. I stepped back and motioned to the controls, “Go ahead chief.”

The zombies didn’t make it through with five of us in there, especially with the college boy blocking their way.

Later, Silk went off to find Tank. I went exploring until I found the lingerie shop and ducked inside. My cheerleader was there, and a lady cop that could kill with her looks. Daisy squeezed through the door just behind me.

Well, well, well. What did we have here? I looked the situation over. Twice. The situations looked at me. All three of them. Daisy rubbed up against me. The cheerleader’s eyes flashed. I noticed that her axe was gone.

“Now, now girls. Let’s not bicker and argue about which one of you gets me… first.” I said. My cheerleader came and cuddled up on my left. Daisy was wiggling against me on the other side. There was only one problem. They wouldn’t shut up! They were screaming and squealing and carrying on like there wasn't an army of zombies out there. “Hush, you’ll bring the zombies!” I told them.

Then, to my surprise, the lady cop stood up and walked towards me. I froze. A walk like that could make a lizard howl at the new moon in winter. I was, you might say, mildly distracted.

The Cheerleader suddenly slipped down behind me. I turned; five zombies were coming through the door! I twisted as the cop shoved me, rolled over my precious cheerleader, and came up grasping the grenade. I tossed it at the zombies as we all dove for cover.

Two zombies were mush. We easily locked out the other three. “Nice try ladies,” I said. They acted all sheepish like. My cheerleader blushed and started to say something. I got out of there.

I kept on the move for the next several hours. I was noticing less human types, and more and more zombies. It looked bad for the good guys. Real bad.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, I heard helicopters. The survivors gathered at the supermarket. There were five of us. My best friend, the skinny redneck had made it. The college jock was there, and a gun toting homeboy. The cops and survivalists were nowhere to be seen.

Sadly, Silk was a goner, but there was good old Tank! It looked like with two of us from the agency surviving, we would be the heroes and everything. I was okay with that.

Just then, a sixth survivor came limping through the bread aisle. Wouldn’t you know it? It was my cheerleader. She smiled shyly as she walked towards me. I reached for her. She walked past me and planted a sloppy kiss on the big, goofy college boy. She clung to him as they were lifted into the helicopter. The Monroeville Marauders would forever be known as heroes. I would be just a footnote in history.

Jamin = Monroeville Marauders =12
Dane = Men in Black = 8
Travis = Homeboyz = 3
Chance = Rednecks = 3
Xander = Cops = 0
Nyette = Survivalists = 0
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Jim Brooks
United States
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Some are born to move the world To live their fantasies But most of us just dream about The things we'd like to be Sadder still to watch it die Than never to have known it For you, the blind who once could see The bell tolls for thee...
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Nicely done.... I give it a zombiezombiezombiezombiezombie out of 5
 
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Dwayne Hendrickson
United States
Oklahoma City
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I though that only 3 people were allowed in the Security room????
 
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Dane Peacock
United States
Stansbury Park
Utah
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Crap, you're right. Either we missed it while playing, or I mis-remembered it in my re-telling.
 
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Nicolas Normandon
France
paris
Unspecified
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This is a great report !!

Thank you !
Nico, the zombie master.
 
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Houserule Jay
Canada
Mississauga
Ontario
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Nice job, I was never too interested in the game but you sure make it sound fun!
 
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