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Subject: Mystic Realm Now Live on KickStarter rss

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Dan Leighly
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Hi everyone, just a quick note to let you all know that Mystic Realm is now Live on KickStarter. Please take a look, and help me pass the word. Thanks, Dan Leighly
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1524748395/mystic-realm?...
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Brian McCarty
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I was real excited until I realized this wasn't the reprint for Magic Realm

Brian
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Dan Leighly
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Sorry about that. Dan
 
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A. B. West
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I took a look at your KS page and have to be honest: I'm unimpressed. The art needs alot of work I think and after reading the rules, I'm not at all sure what sets this game apart. The video wasn't informative at all.
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Dan Leighly
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Mystic Realm has a lot to offer someone who enjoys a different style of game then the normal attack and points system. In this game you use strategy, spells and potions to collect artifacts and complete a quest before your opponent does. There are no points to collect or keep track of, and the object of the game is to have some fun.

The video sets a tone for the atmosphere of the game, nothing more. There is plenty of information on the page that explains the game play, along with the rules, which are written in an easy to understand fashion. As far as the artwork goes, the cards are very nice to look at, they help to create the atmosphere for the game. They are designed to be reminiscent of Tarot cards, and all I can say is that they were created in a my artistic style to complement the game. I like the artwork just fine. I'm Sorry you are not interested, but thanks for the feedback. Dan
 
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Andrew Rowse
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The artwork itself is very impressive, but the composition of the cards is rather wanting. The text placement almost appears to have been done at random, and it really detracts from the art. I think it would really benefit from standardised layout, with frames for the text.

Why is every word capitalised? This is especially jarring on the Soul Catcher, which also has far too many commas. In fact, the text components of the campaign are generally fairly poor, and would benefit from both a spelling and grammar check ('allot' is a word, but it does not mean 'a lot'! You mean 'complEment' rather than 'complIment') Otherwise you give the impression that your production standards are sub-par.

The campaign presents the game as something designed for people who believe in astrology, tarot, etc. This line especially stands out:
Quote:
Astrology plays a role as well, bringing together the Planets, and the Elements to form a Magical Circle of Power, and Protection, for you, being both the player, and the character in the game/


Are you not concerned that aligning your game with what many would consider new-age claptrap has the potential to alienate a good proportion of your potential market?

I'm starring the project, because I like the art enough to take a punt on it - provided the rest of the composition is brought up to the same standard.
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Trace
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Dan,I too am going to watch this one. I do have the same concerns as Andrew

concerning the text, I have faith that you might stand back and take another look at it. I do however commend you for getting another KS up after the last one [keep at it, it may very well work.]

You seem to have learnt a few things and applied them, may I suggest asking the opinion of some experienced KSers on the page presentation possibly an edit. BGG is a great resource if you use it.

Good luck.
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Dan Leighly
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I appreciate your comments. I have written a lengthy response to Andrew to better explain my concept and ideas. Thanks Dan
 
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Dan Leighly
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Compliment

(Praise, Tribute, Accolade)

Accolade (Tribute, Honor, Great Compliment)

Complement (Balance, Harmonize, Go Together)

The word I wanted to use was Compliment, as you can see from the definitions above.
I do know the difference between allot, a lot, anyone can make a spelling error.

I believe that you meant to say standardized instead of standardised /capitalized instead capitalised? So you see anyone can make a spelling error.


From My Page:
I have tried to incorporate a lot of these subjects into this game, so that anyone who has an interest in these same areas, could see the beauty and correlation between those philosophies. The artwork is reminiscent of the Tarot, while the action of the game is created with both Magic and Myth. Astrology plays a role as well, bringing together the Planets and the Elements to form a Magical Circle of Power and Protection for you, being both the player and the character in the game.

Interest is the key word above. You do not have to believe in Astrology, or Tarot in order to enjoy a game that might have reference to that subject, anymore then you have to believe in Dragons, or Magic in order to enjoy playing D&D or Magic The Gathering!

The game is based around as much myth and magic as any other game on the market in the last 30 years.

Astrology plays a role as well. Astrology incorporates all kinds of things that create cause and effect. The idea is that the planets align, the stars create a map, and that the elements of Air, Earth, Fire, and Water combine to create a Powerful Source of Energy, all plays a roll in this game. Is it Real? Who cares, it’s a game.

I created this game to be played, not to try and learn about Astrology, or Myth, or Magic, but to play the game for fun, to escape the real world, so to speak.

I don’t believe for one minute that all of the hundreds of thousands of people who play D&D actually believe that the Dragons are real, if they do, more power to them.

So, am I “concerned that aligning your game with what many would consider new-age claptrap” No, not at all. On the other hand I am hoping to draw in a larger number of people for that exact reason. If I am wrong, again, it’s just a game.

Last but not least, I do not believe that because my cards, do not look standardized as you put it, makes my game look sub-par. The cards are different, unique, and designed the way that I wanted to design them. They are easy to read, colorful, tasteful, and they do not look anything like a copy or clone from any other game. That was the goal.

And yes, the text was placed randomly so that each card was unique, and stood apart from the rest, that was my entire reasoning behind doing that.

The last thing I wanted to do is to create another clone card, or game that resembles something that is already out there. Too many people have already done that, and it is not for me.

If someone who buys my game and plays it says that this game is totally different then any other game that they have ever played, that will be a day of celebration for me my friend.

I do appreciate all that you had to say Andrew. I fixed a couple of mistakes, thanks to you, and I did take out some commas, on the Soul Catcher Card.

As far as the capitalized letters, that is just my style of writing in order to emphasize each word, and they are very easy to read, not like other cards that have the print in a little box at the bottom of the card that is barely readable.

I hope that my game is successful, If it does not meet the goal, at least I tried, something I am proud to say.

Dan MontanaDan Leighly
 
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Matt Wolfe
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MontanaDan wrote:
I believe that you meant to say standardized instead of standardised /capitalized instead capitalised? So you see anyone can make a spelling error.


No, that's how the words are spelled in countries that use British English. Furthermore, I can't believe you would attack someone who is trying to help you.

MontanaDan wrote:
As far as the capitalized letters, that is just my style of writing in order to emphasize each word, and they are very easy to read, not like other cards that have the print in a little box at the bottom of the card that is barely readable.


Capitalizing Every Word In A Sentence Makes That Sentence Harder To Read. Capitalization implies importance and uniqueness. It's why we capitalize people's names but do not capitalize man, woman, or human. Titles can have title case, since they are generally short and should be important. Text that is meant to be read should be in regular sentence case. The text on your cards, as it is today, is more difficult to read than it needs to be.
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A. B. West
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Dan, it seems pretty clear you didn't come here to learn from constructive feedback, but you really are missing out on a tremendous resource here at this well established game site if you don't.
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Dan Leighly
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I don't use British English, and I wasn't attacking anyone, I was pointing out that anyone could make a spelling error. I understand what you are saying about the capitalizing of letters, I didn't feel it was harder to read, maybe it is, to me it was easier, I will look at it some more. I did not write anything in my response that was rude or attacking, I tried my best to explain my views and my game concept.
Dan
 
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Dan Leighly
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When someone asks questions about why I did this, or what about that, I thought the best thing to do was to give a decent reply, an explanation.
I don't see anywhere in my reply where I said I didn't want to learn anything, There have been quite a few people here who have already helped me. I believe I told Andrew thank you for his imput, and that I fixed a few things that he brought to my attention, so how is it so clear that I don't listen to constructive feedback. I am not going to entirely change my game from what I want it to be like, but I am willing to here advice from anyone. Thank you for your advice also, Dan
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A. B. West
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Well ok then! I hope you take away some good ideas and improve things. Making a game is lots of fun - that's for sure.
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Andrew Rowse
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Dan,

I'm happy to accept that you did not intend to attack. To be honest, I felt you came across as more defensive than attacking. Defensiveness is understandable, but please consider that in reality, you don't get to defend your decisions to the vast majority of those who see your campaign. If your copy gives somebody a bad impression, they will likely leave and never contact you, so you won't have a chance to explain. Under normal circumstances you have exactly one chance to make a positive impression.

Everything that follows is information about my impression of your game (and to a much lesser extent, you as a person), as drawn mainly from your Kickstarter campaign. If there are aspects of my impression that are wrong, think about the information you have chosen to impart in the campaign, and how that information led to my impressions. Unless you conclude that I am a looney and that nobody else will think the same things, you may want to consider changing the information such that readers draw the impressions that YOU want them to.

Although I'm far from an authority on any of these things, I have backed tens of Kickstarter and Indiegogo projects, have run a successful (albeit very small) crowdfunding project, studied cognitive psychology, and I have worked closely with some of the most talented user interface designers in the AAA video game industry. Based on my experiences, I'm giving feedback that is intended to be constructive. Even if you think I've missed the mark on some or all of the things I'm going to write, I would urge you to approach your project in an objective a manner as possible.

MontanaDan wrote:
The word I wanted to use was Compliment, as you can see from the definitions above.


The word that is correct in that context is 'complement', not 'compliment'.
http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/difficulties/complement...

Quote:
I believe that you meant to say standardized instead of standardised /capitalized instead capitalised? So you see anyone can make a spelling error.


Two things:

1. There are two probable conclusions that a reader might draw from your 'correction' - either that you are linguistically ignorant, or that you are linguistically arrogant (ie that you feel US English is the only correct variant). Ignorance is understandable - I still find myself tripped up by the occasional US spelling - 'worshiping' looks plain wrong to me - even though I use US English whenever I write copy at work. However, neither impression paints you in an especially good light, so if neither was the impression you intended to give, you might want to reconsider aspects of your writing style.

2. My 'mistake' was a post on a forum, not promotional copy. Even if it had been wrong, I was not relying on my spelling to give a good impression and encourage people to invest in me. You are. Your kickstarter standard needs to be higher than my forum standard. You need to convince readers that you are a talented professional who can be relied upon to make good use of their money and deliver a quality product, and every grammar/spelling mistake in the campaign copy makes that harder.

Quote:
Interest is the key word above. You do not have to believe in Astrology, or Tarot in order to enjoy a game that might have reference to that subject, anymore then you have to believe in Dragons, or Magic in order to enjoy playing D&D or Magic The Gathering!


Again, the issue is this line:
Quote:
Astrology plays a role as well, bringing together the Planets, and the Elements to form a Magical Circle of Power, and Protection, for you, being both the player, and the character in the game.


It's the way you call out 'both the player and the character'. It's not explicit, but it heavily implies (to me, others may feel differently) that the power and protection comes OUT of the game and affects you as a player/person. This impression is supported by the way that you advertise that you've studied mysticism - it positions you as a believer and evangelist.

Neither D&D nor MtG use language that suggests this.

Quote:
Astrology plays a role as well... Is it Real? Who cares, it’s a game.


Different people have strong positive/negative opinions about astrology. Take a look at some Christian-themed games, and the demographics they attract/repel. When it comes to things that some people think are real and some people think are dangerous mistruths, many people care.

Quote:
I created this game to be played, not to try and learn about Astrology, or Myth, or Magic, but to play the game for fun, to escape the real world, so to speak.


Don't get me wrong - this IS the main impression that your campaign gives. It's clear that you are passionate about your game, and that does count strongly for it! In fact, that plus the artwork is what's holding my interest despite the negatives (negative to me, that is) I've raised.

Quote:
Last but not least, I do not believe that because my cards, do not look standardized as you put it, makes my game look sub-par. The cards are different, unique, and designed the way that I wanted to design them. They are easy to read, colorful, tasteful, and they do not look anything like a copy or clone from any other game. That was the goal.

And yes, the text was placed randomly so that each card was unique, and stood apart from the rest, that was my entire reasoning behind doing that.


Doing new things can be laudable, but certain conventions are worth following. If you place elements randomly, it creates a communication barrier - players have to 'work' harder to extract information from the cards. If you capitalise every word, you put the reader's brain into 'title' mode instead of 'information' mode. Frankly, you don't need to break readability conventions in order to make your game stand out - the artwork is sufficiently different (in a good and interesting way!) from pretty much everything else on the market that it alone sets Mystic Realm apart.

Your mileage may vary, but (in the spirit of constructive honesty) to me those cards look terrible. There is no consistent flow of information, and the cognitive load of trying to decipher the many inconsistencies detracts from the enjoyment of the artwork.

Your font size is good, and I share your dislike for games where important text is printed too small. That said, there are ways you can make your text even more readable. Black text is easier to read than white, so swapping your randomly placed white text for consistently placed black text (with a white glow and/or panel and/or gradient behind it) would speed information flow. Italic text is harder to read, so I would go for a plain font instead - though you could always do 'flavour' text in italics to help differentiate it from game text.
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Dan Leighly
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Andrew, I have looked at your comments and responses to both my kickstarter campaign and my way of doing things, and I can plainly see each and every one of your points. After your initial comments, I started looking at changes that I could make to both improve my project, and my game. I do listen to people here, and I am sorry if I came across as defensive, and I agree that I did.

I am in the process of updating my project page, and have already redesigned most of the cards in the game. I believe the changes I have made will vastly improve most aspects of my project campaign, and the game itself.

I have taken into consideration almost everything you have said, and some others here who have spoken out with their own ideas and comments. I think if you take another look you will see the differences.

I really do appreciate the time that you put forth to explain to me what I was doing wrong. Your insights are very keen, and I believe that because of you and the others who have joined in, that I now have a much better understanding of how to better my game.

I thank all of you, Dan MontanaDan Leighly
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