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Subject: Computer Stupidities rss

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Jorgen
United States
Ferndale
California
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Funny site: http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

Quote:
* Tech Support: "Hello, tech support, may I help you?"
* Customer: (in a thick Russian accent) "Yes. Monitor is working fine but has sparks and smoke flying out back. Is ok?"
* Tech Support: (blink)


Quote:
Customer: "I've been connected to the Internet for about ten minutes now, and my computer started smoking about five minutes ago. Is your building on fire?"


Quote:
* Tech Support: "Sir, did you just install Office 97?"
* Customer: "YOU'RE IN MY COMPUTER, AREN'T YOU?????" (click)


Quote:
I work at an ISP in the United Kingdom. The most shocking call I received came from a student at a local college here. He had received a CD for an ISP from an American friend.

* Customer: "Hi there. I got this CD from an American, and he says that his ISP is better than mine because the calls are free. So can I install it?"
* Me: "Yes sir, that's your choice completely. But is this an American ISP? Because if so, I don't think it will work with your computer."
* Customer: "Listen, I happen to be a computer student. I know exactly what I'm doing, so don't insult my intelligence!" (click)

Ten minutes later, he called back, humbled.

* Customer: "My computer exploded."
* Me: "What!? How did that happen?"
* Customer: "Well, the CD didn't work. I couldn't get through to the ISP. So, I changed the computer to American power."

He'd changed the voltage switch while the computer was on, causing the power supply to explode.


Quote:
* Tech Support: "May I have your phone number, sir?"
* Customer: "I don't give out my phone number!"
* Tech Support: "All right. How may I help you, sir?"
* Customer: "How much for your Internet service?"

I gave him the prices.

* Customer: "If I own the software why do you keep charging for it?"
* Tech Support: "Well, sir, the software is free, but you are charged for being online."
* Customer: "YOU CONNECT YOUR COMPUTER TO THE PHONE LINE?!?"
* Tech Support: "Well, sir, you do use a modem to dial online."
* Customer: "I WILL NEVER HOOK MY COMPUTER TO MY PHONE!!!!" (click)
 
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M@tthijs
Netherlands
Venlo
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Did you visit my www.kobudovenlo.nl? It has game info
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One of my favourites:

Customer: "My keyboard doesn't work anymore"
Helpdesk: "Are you sure it's plugged in?"
C: "Nope. I can't get behind the computer"
H: "Pick up the keyboard and take 10 steps back"
C: "OK"
H: "Did the keyboard follow you?"
C: "Yes"
H: "Then it's not plugged in. Is there maybe any other keyboard?"
C: "Yes... Here's one. Ah!... This one does work!"

 
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Geoff King
United States
Annandale
Virginia
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I think this is a classic;

Customer: "I need help with this dialer. The police have already shown up to my office twice today."

Police? Ok, whatever.

Tech Support: "Ok, let's check out the settings. Do you have anything entered for getting an outside line?"
Customer: "A nine."
Tech Support: "Do you need to dial a 9 for an outside line?"
Customer: "I'm not sure. I think so."
Tech Support: "Could you double check?"
Customer: "Sure. (pause) Nope. Turns out we don't need it."
Tech Support: "Ok. Then remove it. What do you have for the area code?"
Customer: "One and then [area code]."
Tech Support: "Uhm, you don't need the one. Windows 95 automatically adds that."
Customer: "Oh. So you mean..."
Tech Support: "Yes, your computer was dialing 911 and then the phone number."
 
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