Funny site: http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/
* Tech Support: "Hello, tech support, may I help you?"
* Customer: (in a thick Russian accent) "Yes. Monitor is working fine but has sparks and smoke flying out back. Is ok?"
* Tech Support: (blink)
Customer: "I've been connected to the Internet for about ten minutes now, and my computer started smoking about five minutes ago. Is your building on fire?"
* Tech Support: "Sir, did you just install Office 97?"
* Customer: "YOU'RE IN MY COMPUTER, AREN'T YOU?????" (click)
I work at an ISP in the United Kingdom. The most shocking call I received came from a student at a local college here. He had received a CD for an ISP from an American friend.
* Customer: "Hi there. I got this CD from an American, and he says that his ISP is better than mine because the calls are free. So can I install it?"
* Me: "Yes sir, that's your choice completely. But is this an American ISP? Because if so, I don't think it will work with your computer."
* Customer: "Listen, I happen to be a computer student. I know exactly what I'm doing, so don't insult my intelligence!" (click)
Ten minutes later, he called back, humbled.
* Customer: "My computer exploded."
* Me: "What!? How did that happen?"
* Customer: "Well, the CD didn't work. I couldn't get through to the ISP. So, I changed the computer to American power."
He'd changed the voltage switch while the computer was on, causing the power supply to explode.
* Tech Support: "May I have your phone number, sir?"
* Customer: "I don't give out my phone number!"
* Tech Support: "All right. How may I help you, sir?"
* Customer: "How much for your Internet service?"
I gave him the prices.
* Customer: "If I own the software why do you keep charging for it?"
* Tech Support: "Well, sir, the software is free, but you are charged for being online."
* Customer: "YOU CONNECT YOUR COMPUTER TO THE PHONE LINE?!?"
* Tech Support: "Well, sir, you do use a modem to dial online."
* Customer: "I WILL NEVER HOOK MY COMPUTER TO MY PHONE!!!!" (click)