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Subject: Stupiduel rss

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Richard Glassco
United States
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Players: Karl, Rick, Rob, and Kandice

1. Rick heard about “Father-daughter” craft day at Karl's daughter's school and delivered a block of modeling clay dripping with sulfuric acid. When Karl unwrapped it, he would have been killed by the acid. However, Karl spread oil on the floor, causing Rick to slip so he couldn’t deliver the clay.

2. Rob rigged a million anvils around Kandice’s apartment so that no matter which exit she used, she would be crushed. Kandice claimed that the neighbor’s leftover dynamite would have blown up the apartment and destroyed the anvils. Not a good defense, since Kandice got blown up too!

3. Karl trained a duck to attack a picture of Rob in exchange for duck treats. As Rob was going to the hospital with Annie (for their baby to be born), Karl turned loose the killer duck, this time with a spike on its beak. Rob defended himself with a mirror, and the jury agreed that since the duck saw itself in the mirror rather than Rob, it would become confused (if not remorseful) and would stop attacking

4. Kandice collaborated with a nurse who was giving immunization shots at the hospital. The plan was the hypo would contain poison rather than a vaccine. However, Rob knew the nurse was a junkie, and offered her “junk,” gained her friendship, and she repented of the planned evil deed.

5. Rick, still sore about slipping on the oil, sent a high-priced lawyer after Karl. This lawyer was flaming (in both senses) and went for Karl with a deadly kerosene-soaked embrace. However, Karl offered instead a Cher figurine (wild), so the lawyer embraced that instead and went up in smoke with it.

6. When Rick was out sailing, Rob sent a lot of tanks to circle the landing area. When Rick’s boat approached, the tanks started firing. Rick called for help on his cell phone, and got a band of 100 tiny clowns to swarm over the tanks, hoping the gunners would refuse to fire and kill the clowns. The jury ruled that either the gunners wouldn’t know they were there, or would enjoy killing tiny clowns also. Rick and his boat were sent to a watery grave.

7. Karl decided Kandice wasn’t working out as an employee, and conspired with the company president to do her in at the company picnic. They rigged a raffle so that Kandice would win a ride in a hot air balloon with Karl. Karl rigged the basket so a trap door would open at a preset altitude, dropping Kandice to her doom. Kandice claimed that she noticed the basket looked weak and fixed it with wood (wild) glue. The jury ruled the glue did not have enough time to set, so Kandice plummeted to her death.

8. Kandice gave Karl a giant burrito, which gave him 5 times the normal amount of gas. This gas would ignite and blow up the balloon. Karl claimed (1) the attack wasn’t lethal to begin with, (2) he is not subject to gas, and (3) he cut a hole in the burrito so he consumed less and produced no extra gas. The jury thought it was a weak defense, but also a weak attack, and voted for the defense.

9. One night Rick secretly modified the accelerator of Rob’s car so that it would go 8 times faster than intended. Rob could not survive driving on the interstate at 480 miles an hour. Rob thought that since he was wearing a tuxedo he could drive like James Bond, but the jury didn’t buy it, and he crashed.

10. While he was racing to his doom, Rob hired an assassin by cell phone, and called his wife to give the assassin info on Rick’s habits and whereabouts. The plan was for the assassin to shoot Rick through his office window from an adjacent building. However, Rick had 7 guards who were on the watch for suspicious behavior. The jury agreed 1 guard would not have been enough, but 7 guards would catch and disarm any one assassin.

11. Karl hid behind a tapestry at a dance attended by Rick. When Rick danced by, he jabbed him with an electrified sword, causing Rick to fall on the floor writhing. The other dancers would not notice anything amiss, assuming it to be a creative interpretation of a dance. Rick, having just that minute heard of the dance named “sizzling bacon,” (from Rob) was trying it out by carrying a pig as he danced. The pig got stabbed instead of Rick and made excellent bacon. Rob opined that Karl could tell the difference between Rick and a pig and would have stabbed the intended target. Rick died.

12. Kandice threw a big birthday party for Karl. She rented a large room and planned a big balloon and confetti drop as soon as Karl entered the hall. She would crush and suffocate him with too much paper. Karl claimed that the hall was so packed with his warrior friends (1 billion of them), he couldn’t even get into the hall. The jury disagreed, and Karl was crushed.

We quit then, with the score (remaining lives) at: Karl and Rob 2, Kandice and Rick 1.

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