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Subject: OMG, my wife is pregnant! .... How will this affect my favorite hobby!!! rss

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Eric Lai
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I feel weak in the knees, moments ago, my wife called to tell me that she is pregnant. A fairly unplanned event really! I swear it wasn't on the CRT!! Darn card mechanics!

The joy and abject horror of it all... any advice would be welcomed, here is a wargame I've never played! Nor read the rule book for! All them military history books doesn't help at all! Did Rommel have kids in the desert? Did Alexander changed diapers? I think not!

For those fathers out there, how did your first baby affect your hobby? Any things to avoid and what are the things that won't change? Even married, I live an almost bachelor life-style minus the womanizing... now all that has changed... (at least I think it has changed.)

How can I be a father? I just ordered the collector edition of Tomb Raider because the figure of Lara Croft that comes with the game is so cool with its movable joints for personalized poses and it even comes with all the cool weapons....

Heck. And oh.... Is there anything wrong with me... The only positive thing I can think about are in-house wargamers... A little girl to play Europa with...
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Stig Morten
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You will treasure Vassal pbem more.

Good luck and congrats.
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Kris Van Beurden
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First of all - congratulations! start saving Geekgold already for the parenthood microbadge(s)

Secondly - Napoleon did try to create a dynasty, some of his fighting was inspired by this, he divorced his first wife because she was barren ... maybe not a wargame but a global strategic one? Age of Napoleon has a "dynasty" card (it is also a game you can easily fit in an evening - you'll need those). (Rommel, by the way, committed suicide to save his family from persecution ... maybe a less happy remark, though).

My first (and second) baby made me stay home more ... which just meant the wargamers have to come over here . I think my wargaming time has only increased through fatherhood (mostly because I only started wargaming when #1 was already on the way).

The only big issue is that games such as HIS or Virgin queen are now cut up in multiple evening sessions rather than day-long affairs.

In-house wargamers ... I'm hoping for that, too! Thus far, she has only chewed up one Panzer division so far ...
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Eric Lai
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I can't believe that I just swapped out my
I play monster war games badge for a
Gamer Dad badge.... oh the humanity....

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Stig Morten
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Garfink wrote:
I can't believe that I just swapped out my
I play monster war games badge for a
Gamer Dad badge.... oh the humanity....



I think you are ready.

If your dedicated wargamespace will stay that way after the baby is born, your sessions might be shorter, but it should be no problem to solo a bunch of games or even f2f over several sessions.

Extending your evening gaming a few hours into the night because the Caucasus oilfields were within range will now mean you get LESS sleep as the little one often wakes with military precision for the (early) morning manouvre, oblivious of dads great triumph in the east 4 in the morning.

Sleeping pattern of the little one will determine the impact on your hobby. My youngest has a sleep pattern that can best be described as "chit-pull-activation" with lots of "Awake" counters in the mix. For now that has reduced f2f plays, but vassal pbem is your friend.

And with a young one you'll get experiences like this: Napoleon, played by a soon to be 5-year old girl, smashes the Allied forces.
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Ian Scrivins
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Please understand that first children just wreck your social life. If you get one night off each week you've done well, and then you'll be so tired you'll just want to flop in front of television.

On the upside though, in about a decade, you'll have someone new to play against. Congratulations!
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Wolfgang Kunz
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Garfink wrote:


For those fathers out there, how did your first baby affect your hobby?


Absolutly positive. Just avoid anything pink when teaching your kid (a bit easier with boys than girls).

My son said he wants to play all of the wargames I have. And while it is a bit stressful when he brings home pictures he drew in school that either include tanks or dragons (you draw very suspicious looks on yourself but this stopped since I'm wearing heavy-metal-shirts when taking my son to school).

But hey, who has had a 5-year-old who can identify a German 88 on his own.

I love playing games with him. We mostly go for Talisman (he is totally nuts about it), now want to play Relic. He enjoys Memoir 44 because of the cool minis and I try to teach him some simpler counter-based games like All things Zombie or Zombies so he learns to move on hex / square boards.

Other parents think I'm the total Super-Dad because I play so much boardgames with him. My wife thought too unless she saw the boards (especially the Talisman-one).

One thing that will frustrate you: One day he will beat you - and he will beat you badly. I played Legendary - A Marvel LCG with him. And I have lost ALL !!!! of my games against him. And with loosing I'm not talking about 4:5 but things like 14 VPs vs. 30 ouch.

That's the only time when I feel very old.

Sadly we can't have any more kids. Kids are so great.

One of the best things in life.

Enjoy them - and congrats.
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Eric Lai
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Playing Talisman is something I am afraid you may say...
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Jan Ozimek
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THIS:
Tegarend wrote:

The only big issue is that games such as HIS or Virgin queen are now cut up in multiple evening sessions rather than day-long affairs.


Make sure you have a game room, that is off limits for children. It has worked fairly well for me. It also means that, on game nights, I have more time to help feed the kids and get them ready for bed before my gaming mates show up at 1900 hrs. Taking that ½ hour of transportation out of the equation really makes things easier.

It's been pretty important for my wife and I to allow each other to have some grown-up hobby time, and with your so called "married bachelor" life style I assume you have been in the same situation. Try to hold on to that just a little bit. One weekly game session night should really be incorporated in the International Gaming Fathers' Human Rights(TM).

EDIT: Forgot the main thing: Congratulations, and don't panic. You'll make it.
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Brian Morris
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Ok, I get to tell this child and boardgame story. My friend has a wonderful daughter about 3. While we were playing a game of Civilization last summer she was coming in and out of the room dressed as a tiger. I mean she was like a little 3 foot tall theme park character complete with a tiger head on. She even occasionally growled at us. As I drove home after the game I got a call from my friend on my cell phone. He found a bunch of the combat cards for the game in his daughter's room. Seems our tiger was a bit light fingered during the game and none of us noticed. He kept apologizing but I was just laughing.

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Damo
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Congratulations!

Being pregnant? Not too much impact there.

After that - well it depends on how much sleep you get and how talented you are at multi-tasking)

(I've had game of No better Place to Die set up half way through turn one since mid January)

Either way the impact is more then out weighed by the reward.

And you get to have an in-house opponent in 5 or so years... whistle

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Carsten Bohne
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First of all, congratulations. You're in for one of the most awesome and moving experiences life has to offer.

And having (re-)discovered wargaming after my first daughter was already born, I can confirm that Vassal is your friend. But pick games that will fit into those 30 minutes-power nap windows of opportunity...
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Roger Brandon
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Congratulations! But give up all hope of having a future gamer! In about 10 years, kids will all be getting cyber-implants. They'll be able to close their eyes and see incoming "texts" and think their replies. They'll all spend their time just sitting around with their eyes closed, with no patience for things like games, talking to someone face-to-face, or doing anything that requires moving a muscle!
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Jonny Lawless
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I haven't really gotten to play wargames much since becoming a father, but it's been awesome enough that I haven't minded all that much.
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Richard Anderson
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Congratulations.

In a nutshell... your life is about to radically change. Yes, you will lose out on doing certain things for a number of reasons but you are about to gain something that will be more precious to you than anything else you can imagine. Children are awe inspiring, very good fun and tiring(sorry). My two are both under 4 so I can't talk for the impact of teenage years [shudders!].

Changes in my life were...

> Tiredness and therefore lack of energy (I fall asleep reading more often now).

> Less free time...way less free time.

> Depending on the size of your house no more games set up over multiple days.

> You will no doubt have gaming buddies who understand and adjust to your new lifestyle and gaming buddies who don't. I found myself spending less time with the latter.

> Your mind will be racing ahead thinking what games you can play together and when.




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Steve Arthur
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So let me get this straight..you've been doing other things besides gaming?...this could mean expulsion!!
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I believe, good sir, wargames are now the least of your worries. Good luck, you poor, poor bastard. laugh
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dimitri notte
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Congratulations!
Ok it's a good news for your family but to be honest a less good news for your hobby...
You will lack time and when you will have some spare time you will just want to sleep or cuddle your baby and your wife.

On the good side you will enjoy even more the rare occasions when you can play laugh

Honestly, since I'm a father (how strange that sounds) I play much less but it's not that I miss it so much

And you learn being a dad by being a dad, so don't be afraid, be cool, relax and enjoy the ride, I think (well, at least until now) that it's the most incredible and rewarding experience I ever had

I'm waiting the moment my son will be big enough that he (we) can play with my Balrog miniature cool

My best wishes
Dim
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David Aber
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Congrats! If you have grandparents-to-be close by, get them involved! They will often take our little guy for a chunk of a day that then can be used for gaming, or other activites.

Otherwise, it looks like most stuff was covered here. I do play less myself, although I do have a weekly FTF ASL game (that sometimes takes two or three play sessions to cover a scenario).

Mostly, I just enjoy the time I take my little guy down to the park and play, or on the longer weekend three park walking extravaganza. I know he will be bigger (he's 2.5 right now) someday and I just want to enjoy him while he is young. I mean, ASL will always be there, along with every other game I own. My boy? He'll be older far too soon.
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Joao Pedro Cruz
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Congratulations!

In 9 months you´ll get the best wargame of all.
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Magister Ludi
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Congratulations!

Having a child was the best thing that has ever happened in my life...gaming is just passing time in comparison.

However, now my little fella is 4, I have been teaching him the finer points of bigger and smaller, as well as numbers, by rolling lots of dice with him...a few more years and other components will be added...before my wife knows it, we'll be busy playing ASL!
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Nigel Swan
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Give it four or five years and then you can get back to gaiming again.
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Kev.
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Garfink wrote:
I feel weak in the knees, moments ago, my wife called to tell me that she is pregnant. A fairly unplanned event really! I swear it wasn't on the CRT!! Darn card mechanics!

The joy and abject horror of it all... any advice would be welcomed, here is a wargame I've never played! Nor read the rule book for! All them military history books doesn't help at all! Did Rommel have kids in the desert? Did Alexander changed diapers? I think not!

For those fathers out there, how did your first baby affect your hobby? Any things to avoid and what are the things that won't change? Even married, I live an almost bachelor life-style minus the womanizing... now all that has changed... (at least I think it has changed.)

How can I be a father? I just ordered the collector edition of Tomb Raider because the figure of Lara Croft that comes with the game is so cool with its movable joints for personalized poses and it even comes with all the cool weapons....

Heck. And oh.... Is there anything wrong with me... The only positive thing I can think about are in-house wargamers... A little girl to play Europa with...

Congratulations...Now that crib is going to look good in the middle of that amazing game room.
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Mike Szarka
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As some others have suggested, try to game at home in whichever way you can. That is, play the games at your place either face to face or by VASSAL, or solo. You will still get to pursue your hobby and you will get brownie points if you stay home with the baby/toddler/child while your wife gets to go out. Wargaming is actually a great hobby for Dads because it is not like buggering off to a golf course for a day. You can do it at home.

Day-long sessions at a friend's place will be very, very rare for a long while. But you won't care. You'll be too tired to care. Congratulations.

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Congratulations, Eric!

thumbsupthumbsupthumbsupthumbsupthumbsup

You are on the lead again - both on the table and on the bed!



Next, take a stock count and transfer all your games in your collection that I don't have yet into my warehouse in the New Territories.

laughlaughlaughlaughlaugh
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