Hey folks, I have to say some pretty funny stuff has been showing up over at the KS comment sections. It all started in the last couple hours. I will quote a few, just to show you all how bored we are waiting for the next stretch unlock.
By the way, feel free to post some of your own original material here. I can't imagine this is the first time a thread like this was created.
Anyway, let the show begin.
Creator MERCS Miniatures about 1 hour ago
So we were sitting at the table, having our post con setup food and libation, and you guys were cracking us up with all the Slaughterfield talk. It was awesome.
Itai Rosenbaum about 1 hour ago
@MERCS - what food are you having?
Dan Gillis about 1 hour ago
hrm. You would think an arachnid boss deck would favor all arachnids. Care to elaborate?
Patrick Fitzgerald about 1 hour ago
During the refresh phase the darkness gains 1AP for each race on the board if it was just arachnids it would just get 1 if it is mixed between 2 races it gets 2.
Dan Gillis about 1 hour ago
@Patrick. That is cold comfort. *Eyes the apprentice level*
So to commemorate the Skuld, I compose the following action chain.
Backers brave!...standing on fields of slaughter...short a coin or two...descended to darkness...all (minion) and (minion) laughed as one...but spawned as two.
Dan Porter 30 minutes ago
@Dan G: I've got a card of baseless speculation to use or I could buff you with some unrestrained hype, unfortunately I've used all my wit points up though.
Dan Gillis 27 minutes ago
Yeah that last one was all AP and no effect. Next time, I'll bring the lyre of laughterfield and string a tune that will shake the very foundations of wit.
Daniel Cowdery 24 minutes ago
There once was a Skald name Nield
Who with his music could seal a deal
His demon bagpipes he did play
He once again saved the day
He yelled" So bring on you Slaughterfield!"
Dan Gillis 20 minutes ago
Wow, we Dan's rock. Nice work Gentleman. To take a page out of Auctorium's book. If every backer upped their pledge for each modicum of creative Dan genius, we would hit 400K sometime.
Daniel Cowdery 18 minutes ago
Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility!
Auctorium 14 minutes ago
And now a Haiku
Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield.
Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield.
Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield, Slaughterfield, SLAUGHTERFIELD!
Daniel Cowdery 11 minutes ago
As a poet, I am floored by the hyper-metaphorical usage of verbiage in your Haiku...
Godfather Punk 9 minutes ago
@Dan - For Slaughterfield!
Let me take you down
cause I'm gonna kill
Dan Gillis 7 minutes ago
The wind blew incessant that day
The heroes stood to make their play
The orc infested hoard aground
The players began their first round
The soldier charged, then took it back
He wearied of an Orc counterattack
The apprentice prepared a fiery blast
but with AP too high he fizzled the cast
The archer had a captain in his sights
The kill should have been his by rights
The other players smacked him down
"Don't activate them!" with a gnash and frown
The Acolyte who normally isn't bold
Didn't treasure the thought of being told
Silently played his only offensive card
The Orcs charge came viscious and hard
When they talk of the heroes plight
When they stand over the headstones bright
There inscribed are the words to see
Don't screw around with player AP
Daniel Cowdery 6 minutes ago
Beautiful, and humorous in one stroke.
Auctorium 3 minutes ago
@Dan- Sir, as you have neglected to use the word Slaughterfield in your poem, I am sorry to inform you that you are no longer allowed to create poems at this local. Please return once you have learned from your past errors.
Dan Gillis less than a minute ago
@Auctorium. Hmm, perhaps an alternate ending? You know included in the bonus material on disc 2? Slaughterfield is alot of syllables, would probably take the whole line.
@Dan C. Thanks, I couldn't help myself, and you have some blame for that.
BTW people, I teach English studies so now then you have to do it all homage.
Oh wow...that is bloody awesome!
Now I'm hoping a bit that some band that happens to be following Myth would get some music to that wonderful excerpt of Dan Gillis genius.
Thanks for the comment, we had a lot of fun. I should mention that I have some ideas to extend the concept I was working on with the epic poem. It was mostly done off the cuff and took roughly 10 mins to construct.
I have a crazy idea to outline the qualities of the female mongoose in a similar form. As long as inspiration flows, I'll put it down in this thread when complete.
Forward the slaughterfields!
F0rmally Kn0wn As wrote:
Forward the slaughterfields!
THE MIGHTY SLAUGHTERFIELDS!
THE SOLDIER’S PATH
The dark man stood above
His foe. A leathered glove
Was pulled away to show
The radiant ring of House Ridow.
“It was a brazen act you tried,"
He growled as the prone one shied
In vain from the captor’s stay-
No path to whence to flee away.
A determined look crossed the face
Of the captor who closed the space.
“You will resume your debt of service to me.
Pledge loyalty and faith, Riki Trudee."
Under cowl the moonlight started.
As the head raised, shadows parted.
Crimson eyes flashed within the gleam
Of the pale born moons’ clouded beam.
Though exhausted and spent from the chase
Riki paused upon a moment’s grace.
Then the words fell sharp from furried lip
and with a mirthful tone in a playful quip.
“I shall not kiss upon your ring.
Considering where foul lips have been."
The assailant smote her across the cheek
A trickle of red; a tongue held to speak.
“You speak of traitors! he shouted with wrath
“How speedily you have left the soldier’s path!"
His arm, lengthened by three feet of steel
Held his prey fast, in a press to repeal.
Then quicker than the eye can measure
Riki pulled from the cloak a hidden treasure.
It was a golden token with a pointed cross
His eyes caught it as it was thrown with a toss.
The man fumbled to catch the thing
Just as into his mid-parts a boot did bring
A most sharp and unspeakable pain.
He collapsed to the ground and struggled in vain.
The blade had fallen from his weakened grip
As he fell to the stones it did slip.
As the Baron descended the Soldier rose
And at the touch of its tip the Baron froze.
Rikki stood tall now over the man
“Listen well Baron, so you’ll understand.
I left the service not for glory or gold
There is corruption there, a story untold.
If you ever presume to detract-
Me from my goals, I will act.
I will unseam you from your station
I will end your house, for you have no relation."
The Baron simpered and wallowed there
The soldier merely looked on with a glare.
“One more thing Baron I feel you should know."
And Rikki pulled of the cloak to let the underneath show
“I left the troops due to my obvious mark
A Mongoosian woman stands out rather stark
Though I have maintained a careful ruse
My ears tire of helmets and paws of shoes."
The Baron gaped long at the sight.
Then in a flash she melted into the night.
He stood carefully, his breath coming short
And low in the night he growled a retort.
“Rikki Trudee, I swear on this coin
I will press you until you beg to rejoin
The legion which I have built up to withstand
All the king’s fools and conquer this land!"
I love the concept of the woman hiding amongst men and pulling it off because they are more than capable, even heroic at times. People/characters such as Mulan, Eowyn, Joan of Arc, Isabel Gunn and so forth.
I hope you enjoyed this idea for the Soldier in Myth. This could have been written in many ways, this is just one way.
- Last edited Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:40 pm (Total Number of Edits: 2)
- Posted Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:34 pm
That was a pretty awesome read, with one major flaw...still lacking slaughterfield
And now for the next step in the journey, we shift to another story. I suppose you can tell that all of this is much bigger than one character. Where is it all headed? That's a great question, I think I can answer it when it's all over.
Without further ado...
A Prayer in the Dark
Within the shroud of the silent night
Encased within a hidden wood
Amid worn stones and owl's flight
A fragile and failing temple stood.
A candle flicker was the only light
Burning low within the large expanse
A lone figure knelt low in spite
Of the absence of a royal glance.
His head was bowed near to an altar
The robes of faith caressed the floor
With a whispering voice that did not falter
To pledge a devotion forevermore.
Oh heavens! Let my words rise
To a place enjoined with cleansing flame.
May my lowly station within thine eyes
And my soul be found without blame.
Then suddenly with the clestory walls
A shadow shifted from pillared stone
The penitent acolyte ceased his calls
In his mind he knew he was not alone.
Over clouded eyes he drew a cloth
Securing it deftly into place.
Though appearing calm he burned wroth
With the one who fouled the holy space.
From the shadowy corners came
A low and raspy voice to hear.
"Malus, we're late and you're to blame.
Wasting our time with prayers! Grab your gear."
Then the acolyte moved not a finger
But with a surge of power, a light
Burst upon where the shadow did linger.
The skulking one stood hunched in full sight.
The rodent's body bristled in brownish fur
A clawed hand drew fast across its eyes.
With a painful cry it screamed, "You cur!
You're a blasted demon in priestly guise!"
Malus stood slowly from the Oath stone
From the faded altar a battered book he drew.
"Humph. It's no wonder you live alone."
The rat muttered as Malus passed through.
The acolyte who had been silent till then
Spoke just once as he passed the thief
"Though its one thing I'd miss in your sordid den
I'll trade disease and strife for solitary belief."
The Kings upon the Slaughter felled,
To song 'twas sung by piping Skald,
They marched, and danced, and then beheld,
Cyclops kill cryst'line elementals on dell.
The soldier bravely slew with snicker snack,
While Brigand stabbed all in the back,
The Archer emptied quiver from deck,
While Trickster built prototype Wrack.
Apprentice fumed with fire and cold,
Acolyte prayed in words so bold,
A tree himself did stand and scold,
Enemies ran from Connor's wrath told.
Take care and choose your party five,
To take up arms against the hive
You will with weapons and treasures thrive,
In Myth and Legend your story ne'er die.
Way to go Andrew! A poet after my own heart. You also managed to include the word slaughter, which I still have not managed to do. It inspires me to continue onto the next one. Hopefully, we will see more response from the community on these.
So as we rounded the corner to the Minotaur goal, I had a crazy idea and here it is in all its glory.
A POEM to commemorate the Minotaur stretch goal!
(took me from 474, 013 to write it)
The towering beast stood before my gaze
I wondered whether it was more cow or man
I foolishly had wandered deep into the maze
And I was heaving for breath; how far I had ran!
It snorted through its wet massive schnoz
I felt its terrible heat wash over my face
While in the mere moments I had to pause
I held fast to the rope for my steps to retrace.
In its grip was braced a most sickening blade
I knew that one cleave and I would be gone.
Though fixed I was without a hope to evade
My thought grew into my mind like the dawn.
"Do not eat me", said I, trying not provoke
The fearsome beast which flexed its chest
"I have a secret that none have ever spoke
and I'll give it to you, if you think that is best."
The beast nodded its head in a sudden allure
Though it watched me with its beady eyes
"I have it here with me, though I am sure
You don't want me to ruin the surprise?"
I growled and stamped its hoofs in disgust
I decided it was all or nothing in that space
"Ok, ok!" I shouted "You I can trust."
"I know the last stretch MERCS will put in place."
The creature listened fast as I related the fact
"I got this info," I said as my heart I steeled-
"Through some less reputable folks without tact
But they told me for sure it will be ______________"