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Subject: Does Home Depot stock hobo traps? rss

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Jeff Wiles
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I went out to do some yardwork this weekend and sitting on the ground in front of my shed were two big white buttons.

Is this some form of hobo sign?

They look like buttons off a lab coat. Maybe instead of hoboes, we're being marked by rival biologists.
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Amy Wiles
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WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EARLIER!?

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Yes
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Aisle 13, between sprinkler and toilet repairs.
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amwiles wrote:

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EARLIER!?



this is obviously Jeff's social media of choice and we should be the first to know!!!

lol get in line Amy!! shake
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Andy Andersen
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Billythehut wrote:
My buddy had a somewhat different problem that Home Depot was able to help him with, but the solution they found for him may work for you. He had a teenage daughter sneaking out after midnight. They suggested moveable motion detectors with an alarm. At night John puts them in different places and they wake him if his daughter tries to sneek out. Some of those in your back yard might be enough to keep any unwanted visitors from returning.


But why is your daughter visiting the Wiles???
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Chris B
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amwiles wrote:

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EARLIER!?



Obviously, he's telling you now. It's quite clear that communication via Chit Chat is the fastest way to pass information in the Wiles household.
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Billythehut wrote:
Orangemoose wrote:
But why is your daughter visiting the Wiles???

Well, I don't have a daughter thank goodness, so it's not my problem. However, this begs the question, is a teenage boy meeting her in their shed?


Maybe you do have a daughter and she's just sneakier than you think.
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jeffwiles wrote:
I went out to do some yardwork this weekend and sitting on the ground in front of my shed were two big white buttons.
Uh-oh. The last time someone walked out of their house and found an oddity that someone unknown had been on their property, they found the Boston marathon bomber. Proceed with caution!
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Amy Wiles
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amwiles wrote:

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EARLIER!?



In case it's not clear, I'm completely freaked out now and don't want to go home.

But what's important is that it's been like 48 hours since this happened! And he's just now letting me know!

Did you move them? Did you put them by our neighbors' shed?

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Steve Vondra
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In a home containing multiple lab coats (assumption based on employment) and a small child, "Hobo" is low on the probability scale as an explanation as to how the buttons appeared in your yard.
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Joe Gola
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amwiles wrote:
In case it's not clear, I'm completely freaked out now and don't want to go home.

Because of two buttons? What would you do if there was a whole shirt? Join the witness protection program?

Just kidding. Some possible sources of unidentified buttons on property:

• Young child (i.e., your son)
• Nesting bird detaches buttons from thread earmarked for nesting
• Freak windstorm through garment district
• Incautious balloonist leans too far over edge of basket, loose items fall from pockets
• Packrat surprised mid-scuttle
• Aroused teenagers fornicating in back yard (look for beer cans and matted-down grass)
• neighbor kids throwing stuff for no reason at all
• the ghost of a drum major
• harmless & cheaply dressed hillbillies taking a shortcut to hidden still
• escaped dog trying to wriggle out of embarrassing dog coat (see figure 1)

figure 1
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amwiles wrote:
amwiles wrote:

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EARLIER!?



In case it's not clear, I'm completely freaked out now and don't want to go home.

This is good drama. More hobos, we need more hobos!
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Blorb Plorbst
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Kennel a dog outside your kitchen window.
Add a pressure plate to windowsill that releases said dog.
Bait the pressure plate with a warm pie.
Wait.

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Lab-coated Hobos sounds really bad to me.

Have you checked the shed for McGyvery Doomsday Machines yet?

The door handle is probably tied to the trigger of a bumblegum-wrapper Black-Hole Generator, or a paperclip Teleporter, or something.



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Larry Haskell
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amwiles wrote:

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EARLIER!?



I think this question answers itself.

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jeffwiles wrote:


I went out to do some yardwork this weekend and sitting on the ground in front of my shed were two big white buttons.

Is this some form of hobo sign?

They look like buttons off a lab coat. Maybe instead of hoboes, we're being marked by rival biologists.


Sounds like a failed Portable Hole experiment. I hope you got the memo about containment protocols?
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Were any additional buttons left in the backyard? We need to know what the hobos are up to.
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Jeff Wiles
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It has begun.

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Dennis Ku
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Is "hoboes" really the plural form of hobo?

And this thread makes me think wistfully of the show The Littlest Hobo, featuring the absolute cutest German Shepherd in television history.
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