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Subject: Where Are They Now? - Arkham Investigators Speak Out rss

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Mike Palmer
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Pouring through old records from the Arkham Advertiser I was able to pull some quotes from those now infamous investigators that descended upon Arkham in the 1920's as well as determine what happened to them both during and after that fateful year, 1926.

(some artistic liberties were taken when records proved incomplete)




“Oh what a cute dog! You shouldn’t be in here. Wait, you’re not a dog, you’re a …”

Harvey Walters – Harvey’s body was found ravaged, presumably by some wild animal, in the library. The animal was never found.


“Arkham was so much fun! Like, when I first got off the train I said ‘Eew! This place smells funny!’ but then I visited daddy’s bank and they were, like, so nice they gave me $10 to go shopping. Then I met that cute guy at the newspaper that kept giving me money for those stories of me and my sister. He was so totally hot! But the shops all had weird stuff in them and lots of guns. And when that thing with all the eyes popped up I said, like, ‘You need a mint!’ So I shot it.”

Jenny Barnes - Saved her sister and permanently moved to Paris. Died in 1984 at the ripe old age of 83.


“The dame was bloated I say! Bloated like a carcass washed up from the bowels of the sea. I shot her I tell ya! Dead I say! Dead as a carcass washed up from the bowels of the sea. But then I saw her again. Or her twin sister, yeah!”

Joe Diamond – Spent his remaining years in Arkham Asylum refusing to take a bath. Died in 1942.


“Now you see me … Now you don’t!”

Dexter Drake – Hasn’t been seen since 1926. Presumed dead.


“Ithaqua and his followers suffer from a form of Oedipus Complex; thus their strange flesh eating behavior. It’s best not to think about it too much and just wipe them all out.”

Carolyn Fern – Stripped of her credentials she eventually founded her own cult in the 1930’s and moved to somewhere in Montana.


“I see a great archway with an immense darkness behind it, and the very hand of God reaching down to destroy it. Thus begins my new book: A Darkness at the Doorstep.”

Gloria Goldberg – Unable to close a gate to the Abyss, Gloria was squashed flat by a gigantic worm-like creature.


“It was always ‘Hey Monty, here’s 5 bucks, see if they have another one of those cool Elder thingies.’ I guess it could have been worse. There was some scary stuff going on back then.”

Monterey Jack – Lived a quiet life until 1955 when he went to see the movie “Tarantula.” The traumatic flashbacks caused him to have a fatal heart attack in the theater.


“I could sell holy water to a vampire.”

Bob Jenkins – Tried just that and failed miserably. Died in 1926, sort of.


“Just call me Doctor.”

Vincent Lee – Last seen entering what he called his “Gate Box” with Kate Winthrop.


“O Lord, why hast thou forsaken me? Aaaaaarrrrrrrrgrghhhh!!!!!”

Sister Mary – Last seen in 1926 getting pulled into a void behind a bookshelf at the Curiositie Shoppe by a bunch of pinkish rays. Presumed dead.


“I did it for Louie and all the unfortunate bastards out there that didn’t have the sense to GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!”

Michael McGlen – Sentenced to death. Broke out of jail in 1928 and was never seen again.


“Yeah, I’ve sifted through the trash a few times. I’ll tell you what, you can find the choicest stuff that way. What people throw away is amazing! But what really stinks is when fine respecting people are willing to pay me to go through the garbage. ‘Go scrounge yourself!’ I say.”

“Ashcan” Pete – After the disappearance of his pet dog, Duke, Pete left Arkham for parts unknown.


“I love meeting all the people that come into the bank. Well, maybe except those fishy smelling guys. I didn’t even know Arkham had any fishermen.”

Amanda Sharpe – Was last seen near some “fishermen” on the Unvisited Isle.


“Taking pictures is like shooting a gun, you take careful aim then pull the trigger. Well, not so much a trigger as a button. And you don’t have bullets. But you’ve got a flash. A real nice one. Well, I guess it’s not like shooting a gun at all.”

Darrell Simmons – Died while taking a picture of some faceless horror. If only he had a gun.


“All I wanted was to be treated as an equal. But all I ever heard was ‘Mandy, there’s a horrifying beast out there, tell me what you know about it. Mandy, go get me some coffee while I figure out how to get this gate closed. Hey Mandy, nice boobs.’ Blah, blah, blah. Well at least I didn’t get eaten by some slobbering beast.”

Mandy Thompson – With the unfortunate demise of Professor Harvey Walters, Mandy decided to leave Miskatonic University in 1927. She was last seen somewhere in Montana.


“When he asked if I wanted to go for a ride in his box, I thought he was speaking metaphorically. Boy was I surprised!”

Kate Winthrop – Last seen with Vincent Lee entering his “Gate Box.”
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Javi Hernández
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Good job, that's real fun.
 
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