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Subject: Creative input needed on cheating... rss

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A Derk appears from the mists...
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I got a request for some input I thought y'all might enjoy contributing to:

Quote:
I'm doing some research for {a major} magazine for a light-hearted article on how parents can beat their kids at various games. Specifically, I've been asked to find tips, strategies, pointers, and cheating methods for the following games:

Battleship
Operation
Hangman
Hungry Hungry Hippos
Tic Tac Toe
Dodgeball
Simon Says
Go Fish
Thumb Wrestling
Checkers

Do either of you have any specific "expertise" on any of these games, or
any ideas of funny and/or serious methods for adult players to put their
kids to shame? I'd appreciate your help! We're trying to come up with a
pile of ideas by the end of the day today, Feb. 1.
 
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Chaddyboy
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Well, if you really want to beat your kid at dodgeball you could always aim at their face and throw as hard as possible.
 
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Jim Cote
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Battleship is easy to cheat at. When a location is called that would normally be a hit, when possible, say "miss" and move the ship as you reach to insert the white peg. devil
 
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Ed Bryan
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For Tic Tac Toe insist on the official rules as written when you were a kid.

1. Old folks always go first.

2. Each player makes two marks instead of one on his turn.

That should guarantee a win everytime.
 
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CHAPEL
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I must admit. As a child I did cheat in battleship from time to time. By carefully shifting my ships around when people called out numbers. Operation I couldn't see how one could cheat, as well as any of those other games. But battleship, it is quite easy to cheat.

Of course, I never cheat in any games I play as an adult, ever. As you can see by my really prestegious *cough* win/loss record. I don't have the need to win as I did when I was growing up, and I mostly play games for the social aspect more than the competitive aspect nowadays.
 
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Ed Bryan
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Operation:

Get your trusty pair of rubber tipped tweezers.
 
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anoni mouse
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well if you are going to cheat in go fish you might as well go all the way. Every time you have to draw a card lie and say what card you just drew is the one you were looking for,

"well what do you know I just pulled another 5 that makes the 7th one in this deck. What are the odds of that heh " ninja
 
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Nairb Attobas
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For Hungry Hungry Hippos you could always just play on a slightly tilted surface, so all the balls run toward your hippo.
 
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Ed Holzman
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Hangman, eh? The best way to trounce the kids at Hangman is to use words that they have no possible chance of guessing.

"_ e _ _ _ _ p e _ a l _ a n" is a good one.

So is "_ _ _ a n t _ n e".

Waaay beyond the ken of most mortal children. They shouldn't have any chance of stumping you, should they?
 
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Tim Thorp
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For Hangman, I would make up words and tell them that it would be super easy for them. When they would say there was no such word, I'd make up a definition on the spot:
"There's no such word as ferxquinsation!"
"Yes there is. It's the act of sliding down a slide. You slide down slides, don't you?"
"Yea, but I didn't know that what it was called, AND YOU SAID IT WOULD BE EASY!'
"What are our schools coming to?"
 
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A Derk appears from the mists...
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Of those listed, I think Battleship would be the easiest to cheat at. "Darn, you missed me again... Hmm... now do I have anywhere to put this sub?" Or perhaps when you set up the game you give him your battleship and take the little gunboat in exchange.

I s'pose in Checkers you could 'accidentally' miss some required jump moves when it's your turn, but constantly remind others...

Personally, I always get a kick outta playing Cribbage or Spades or the like with old people. They'll cheat and rob you blind and not think a thing of it, 'cuz they were taught that so long as you cheat and no one catches you, then it's ok. "What?! Twenty-five plus seven isn't thirty-one? Oh, I'm sorry I made a mistake.... (again)."

Not on the list, but when playing Monopoly or any money-based game, you can volunteer to be the banker and slip a few extra 500's into your stack when people aren't looking.
 
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Simon Says
The easiest is to say one thing and do something else work them into it though
Simon says raise your right hand (raise yours too)
Simon says raise your left hand (raise yours too)
Simon says hands down (lower yours)
Simon says raise your right hand (raise your left) Kids who are following along (or unsure of right and left) will be out.
or the classic:
Simon says take a drink.
Simon says spit it out.

Battleship
Moving your ships is better if you also put in pegs to show your opponents misses.
Don't announce (or misannounce) which ship they've sunk. (cheating)

Go Fish
Most kids will flash their hands so that's on easy way to cheat.
 
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Ryan Wheeler
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Adult: Simon says, "Say, 'Simon says, [very short pause and sterner]'Say Simon says''".

Child: Uh. Simon says.

Adult: No. [slower] "...'Simon says, 'Say Simon says''"

Child: Simon says.

Adult: No! [louder and even slower] "Say, 'Simon says, 'Say Simon says''".

Child: Oh! "Simon says, 'Say Simon says'".

Adult: [very slowly and almost angry] "Say, 'Simon says, 'Say Simon says''".

Child: "Simon says, 'Say Simon says'".

Adult: I didn't say Simon says.
 
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A Derk appears from the mists...
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LOL. Nice one, Ryan.
 
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Dennis Walker
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"Right young man/lady, I think it's past your bedtime."
"But I'm winning!"
"I said BEDTIME!"

Worked for my dad, and I can't PROVE that the pieces weren't in the same position next morning.

Hungry, Hungry Hippos can 'benefit' from a small piece of wood, plastic or folded up bus ticket just under the key that your child has to press.

Hangman. "I'm old. You have to draw the steps to the gallows for me before I can hang. Three of them. Separately"

Dodgeball. The only ways to cheat here are by 'nobbling'. Either throw the ball at the head as mentioned earlier; or use a medicine ball (always a laugh), or dope them with antihistamines (may cause drowsiness). If that doesn't work, then you need to get fitter! Or tie the kids legs together.

 
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J P
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This is an interesting topic. I gave it a little bit of thought and here is what I came up with:

As has been suggested the easiest way to cheat at Battleship would be to lie and say that a hit was a miss (then move the boat). In order to avoid getting caught you could mark the coordinates of every miss on your lower board.

For additional advantage you could play using the Salvo variant. But take it one step further and have the number of Salvo shots fird equal to the number of ships you have remaining. If you are geting 5 shots to their 4, 3, or less then they will likely be decimated in short order.

Taking a break mid way through the game at the end of your turn and then resuming the game and taking your turn again would give an additional advantage.

I don't know how you could cheat at Operation. If you have some skill with electonics perhaps wire it up to a remote so you can turn it off on your turn. Or to make it buzz on someone elses turn. Alternatively, you could try to disrupt your opponent (poke them, make loud noises during their turn, etc...)

If you have a table with wobbly legs would make a good play surface too. As you can nudge it just slightly to make them connect the circuit. But of course not so wobbly as to be noticeable or throw your game off.

If you played on a slightly slanted surface all the marbles in Hungry Hungry Hippo would roll to that end. And in theory the person on that end would get more.

Tic Tac Toe shouldn't require any cheating. It is a solved game and one which you can easily remember the solutions for.

In checkers all the classics would work. Take a double turn, add/remove pieces from the board when no one is looking, change locations of exisiting pieces when distracted, etc...

Thats all I can think of for now.



 
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Stephen Tavener
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In any game with hidden information, e.g. battleships, make sure your opponent has his/her back to a nice reflective surface like a window
 
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Dennis Kreba
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How about you tell them that we don't recommend cheating on this site and that we recommend all gamers teach their kids good values and set a good example?
 
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Paul DeStefano
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Play a rough game of Simon Says, doing all the usual. When one guy is left, say "Congratulations," and shake their hand.

Then take a careful step back and say "Simon didn't say the game was over or to shake hands."
 
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John Farrell
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derk wrote:
Hangman


All I have to do is choose a word I know my kid's not allowed to say. If he attempts to guess the word, I'll tell his mother.
 
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Frank Teplin
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For Simon Says:

Most kids will instinctively respond to a barked command from an adult. They've been trained to do so all their lives.

Make sure you have at least a few steps between you and your victim.
"Simon says, walk towards me."
A second later: "STOP!"

It will be a highly unusually child (and for that matter, adult) who won't at least hesitate for a moment. OUT!

If a miracle happens and they keep coming, try a sequence such as:

"STOP! Simon says stop. Okay, keep going. Simon SAYS keep going. STOP! Keep going. Okay, Simon SAYS stop. Simon says keep going. Simon says stop. Keep going. Okay, keep going. Okay, Simon SAYS stop. Simon says keep going."

...accompanied by hand wavings and "Stop" signals. OUT!

 
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Morgan Dontanville
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Battleship
Tell them that they hit, but never mark your boats, as they have better armour and are now impervious to the weapons that your child has.

Operation
Take the battery out. Start first.

Hangman
Egypt wins every time.

Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Warm milk makes 'em sleepy.

Tic Tac Toe
Use a 2 by 2 grid.

Dodgeball
Stand farther away than they can throw it.

Simon Says
Simon says "concede".

Go Fish
Just deny what you have in hand. They have to guess correctly to win the right to see what you have.

Thumb Wrestling
This really shouldn't be a problem...Use your nails?

Checkers
If you are losing say that this is like soccer, where now you have to switch sides.
 
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Ken Crangle
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I just used "sesquipedalian" in a conversation today!
 
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Gerald McDaniel
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I hope the inquiry is just a joke in poor taste.
 
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Jason Sadler
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I got my ass handed to me by a ten year old chess player at a Best Buy this weekend. We played on one of the demo Macs. I wish I had a way to get back at that little kid, but I think he would just embarass me in front of the store.
 
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